Traditionally, film stars who want to gain recognition as ‘serious actors’ have opted for roles with plenty of tears, snot and drool. Think Adrien Brody in The Pianist or Halle Berry in Monster’s Ball.

Bad hair can give your career quite a boost

But a few recent films have got me thinking that perhaps there is an easier (though no more dignified) way to win the respect of your Hollywood peers: by having really bad hair.

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I think that, on the whole, this year's Academy Awards were quite fairly awarded. But what about the Oscars' cheeky little sister, the Razzies? As usual, these took place the day before the Oscars ceremony, bestowing golden raspberry awards on Hollywood’s greatest failures of the preceding year.

Eddie Murphy: an unprecedented hat-trick of 'awards'

Eddie Murphy made film awards history by being nominated for and 'winning' in three categories for the same role: Worst Actor, Worst Supporting Actor and Worst Supporting Actress for his cross-dressing turn in Norbit.

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Well, we've reached the end of what was, according to the chat in the cinema foyers and bars, a slightly unconventional Berlin Film Festival in that it was a bit too conventional. Too many stars (Madonna, The Rolling Stones, Scarlett Johnansson, Natalie Portman, Julia Roberts, Daniel Day-Lewis etc) and not enough substance.

Stars and red carpet made the festival too conventional for some

Perhaps this was true to some extent in the main competition, but speaking as a Berlinale rookie, I thought there was still plenty of excitement to be found. In fact, the amount of choice was quite overwhelming at times. I could have quite happily busied myself for a whole week just with the Luis Bunuel retrospective. And then there were all the exhibitions, talks, special screenings and, of course, the odd party on top of all the films.

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I've just watched Isabella Rossellini having sex with a house-fly. She looked like she was really enjoying it too. She then went on to seduce an earthworm, a spider and a firefly.

Isabella Rossellini has a penchant for insects

But it's ok, because it's art. In fact, it's Rossellini's first foray in to film directing and goes under the title 'Green Porno', a series of very short films about the secret love lives of bugs. (What would her father have said?)

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Day three of the Berlin Film Festival and I have completely lost my voice. Which, despite the fact that I spend most of my time in silent screening rooms, has proved rather difficult when trying to communicate with the festival organisers.

A documentary about cartoon band Gorillaz was screened

Despite this minor setback, I decided to make my way across the park from the Reichstag building to witness the Berlinale Queer Cinema Awards, or Teddys.

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My first day at the Berlin Film Festival and my best celebrity spot so far had been that bloke who used to play Sanjay in Eastenders. Very poor. So you can imagine my disappointment on day two when I literally had the doors slammed in my face after queuing nearly an hour for this year's holy grail of press conferences, an audience with Her Madgesty, Mrs Guy Ritchie.

Madonna arrives for the screening of Filth and Wisdom

She's here promoting her directorial debut, Filth and Wisdom (about the "duality of life", apparently). I haven't managed to see it yet having only arrived at the Festival half way through, but one can only hope that all those years of directing her stage shows might have taught her a thing or two. Mind you, all those live performances didn't really do much for her acting...

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Following the sad news of Roy Scheider’s death, I was perusing his body of work on IMDb when I stumbled across a forum thread for Jaws 2.

The good, the bad, and the downright terrible

It asked the question: was the tagline for the film – “Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water” – the best ever?

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Most people who went to see Ratatouille, Pixar’s latest animation about a loveable rat with aspirations to become a master chef, will have left the cinema with a warm, glowy feeling. Odd really, considering the idea of hundreds of rodents crawling all over their food would usually cause them to shudder with horror.

This is all due to a healthy serving of animation magic – but, as Pixar's chief animator Mark Walsh tells me, there’s a lot more to it than computer trickery. Each frame goes through around seven different stages from rough sketch to fully fluffed-up finished result, and can take up to two days to complete with the input of around 15 different people.

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I'd been planning to rewatch Candy, Australian director Neil Armfield's harrowing 2006 drama about the relationship between a pair of heroin addicts, even before the news came through that its leading man Heath Ledger had died of a drug overdose.

Heath Ledger delivered a startling performance in Candy

In the days after his death, news story after appreciation after obituary singled out Brokeback Mountain as Ledger's crowning achievement, and nothing should be said to put a dent in that: it was not only his moment of greatest acclaim and exposure but, by any reckoning, a wonderful performance, fine-tuned and gruffly moving, in a film that had caught the popular imagination like no other in 2005.

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Debate is raging online about whether Heath Ledger had completely wrapped up his role as the Joker in the new Batman film.

Heath Ledger's last role was as The Joker in The Dark Knight

Despite the shock of Ledger’s death last Tuesday, everybody seemed to be quite satisfied that he had completed all work on The Dark Knight and was already busy with Terry Gilliam’s latest project. Ledger himself had even said so a few months ago.

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I'm going to the Sundance Film festival.

Ann-Margret: redhead-out-of-a-red-dress

It's in Utah, which turns out to be MILES away. It's not even in the middle - it's practically in California.

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To return briefly to one of my favourite subjects, I have found further proof that the wondrousness of Johnny Depp knows no bounds.

And Johnny Depp isn't bad looking either

This weekend he is reported to have donated $2 million to Great Ormond Street Hospital to thank its staff for saving his daughter from a nasty case of E. coli poisoning last year. It has also transpired that last November, he had his Captain Jack Sparrow costume flown over from LA, which he donned while telling stories to the hospital’s young patients. And he’s invited five of the doctors and nurses to the Sweeney Todd premiere party too. What a nice guy.

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So the writers’ strike has claimed its first awards ceremony victim. The Golden Globes, usually the Oscars’ glittering little sister, was reduced to a dull list-reading exercise for a few underwhelmed members of the media.

There was no red carpet at this year's Golden Globes

However, despite the fact that audiences were robbed of their usual frock-watching parade, there’s just no way that the show could have gone on this time. As one group of strike-supporting writers, who decided to make a short film about the debacle, pointed out, there’s nothing worse than throwing a party only to have nobody show up.

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You have to hand it to Tim Burton. Just when you think he can’t get any darker, he goes and makes the goriest film of his already morbid career, an adaptation of Stephen Sondheim’s award-winning stage musical, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. And it’s bloody brilliant. Though not for the faint-hearted.

Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter star in the grisly tale

As I left the press screening on Friday night, I overheard one young woman on the phone saying it was the “ickiest” film she had ever seen, and she needed a drink to calm her nerves. And I’ve never seen an audience flinch and cover their eyes as much as this one. Not even during Hostel.

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Why is Helen Mirren so incensed that Michael Winner allegedly perved over her in a casting session back in 1964?

Helen Mirren is still on fine form, unlike Mr Winner

For a start, he’s Michael Winner. Whether he intends it or not, his default expression is always ‘lecherous’ mode.

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Ever since he played a beardy-weirdy psychopath in Kalifornia back in 1993 I've suspected that there's more to Brad Pitt than just a pretty face. And his latest performance as another bristled killer in the lengthily-titled The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford has confirmed it once and for all: the man can act.

Like a fine wine, Brad gets better with age

But his is not the sort of natural talent displayed from a young age by the likes of Johnny Depp or Kate Winslet. Like the teachers' pets in school, who score top marks on every test without having to revise, their success is effortless. Pitt on the other hand, has had to work damn hard to prove his worth as an actor. And that, in my opinion, makes him all the more worthy.

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The turn-out at last night's British Independent Film Awards (BIFAs) was bigger than ever. So how is it that I ended up sitting next to the people responsible for the only of last year's films that I really couldn't stand?

Daniel Craig has raised the profile of British film

I know all the other critics couldn't find enough nice things to say about it, but I found 'Once' (the pseudo-musical about a would-be love affair between an Irish busker and an Eastern European immigrant) to be one of the most excruciatingly cringey cinematic experiences of my life.

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Lesson three in my investigation into just what it is that film producers are and do, and I find myself without a sidekick. My usual companion Natalie is temporarily blind following laser eye surgery meaning that, for once, I have to remember to bring my own pen.

Critically-acclaimed filmmaker Michael Winterbottom

Anyway, in case you are just joining my mission now, here's a quick recap: In lecture one at the BFI Southbank we were given a general overview of what it is a producer does (from which I concluded that they do everything) and in lecture two we learned that being a producer requires a good knowledge of taxes and finances (from which I concluded that I would never want to be a producer).

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For a while, Nicolas Cage was one of the most bankable stars on the planet. With his long, hangdog face and twitchy performances, he found his way into the hearts of many a cinema-goer.

'How did my agent ever talk me into this one...?'

The Rock, Honeymoon in Vegas, Con Air and Face/Off showed he could appeal to a large audience, and Wild at Heart, Adaptation, Red Rock West and Kiss of Death displayed some seriously powerful acting talent, which was also demonstrated in his Oscar win for Leaving Las Vegas.

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The Hollywood writers' strike may have stopped the production of TV shows and dramas, but it hadn't claimed a big screen scalp. Until now.

'You're offering me how much to do a sequel?'

Executives at Columbia pictures have postponed production on Angels and Demons, the prequel to The Da Vinci Code, and the release date has been put back from 2008 to 2009.

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Well, the results are in, and there’s been a surprise victory for the Germans: Das Boot has been voted the best war film ever made by Reel Life readers.

A scene from Das Boot, the winning film

The film’s realism was commended above all: “You can almost smell the Diesel,” commented ‘retired’.

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I probably shouldn’t admit this, being a film journalist and all, but I’ve just had my first proper IMAX experience. Not only that, it was in 3D. And it was great.

It's just a shame the glasses are so ugly

I’d always dismissed 3D screenings, particularly IMAX ones, as something of a gimmick – the sort of naff shock-tastic, dinosaur-ridden short films made to entertain children at theme parks.

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“I’ll be back”, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s infamous threat from the 1984 sci-fi classic The Terminator, has been voted the movie line we are most likely to quote.

Do you quote Arnold's line more than any other?

It beat off stiff competition from Gone with the Wind: “Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn", and Star Wars “May the Force be with you.”

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The Longest Day has been voted the best war film ever made by British army veterans.

A scene from Stanley Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket

And they should know – many of them were there after all. But I’d be interested to see which film would come out top if a broader demographic, say Reel Life readers, were given the vote.

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I hesitate to use the word ‘revival’ as it obviously never went away, but has anyone else noticed that silent cinema seems to be enjoying a surge in popularity of late?

Silent movie master Buster Keaton

I say this having just last week attended a packed-out Halloween screening of John S Robertson’s Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde (with the marvelously creepy John Barrymore as the eponymous hero/villain) at the Barbican.

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Oh dear. I’m afraid I’m going to get a bit of a reputation for Catholic-bashing by writing this piece, but they will keep getting upset about silly things.

Cate Blanchett plays the peachy Protestant heroine

To those who have been criticising Elizabeth: The Golden Age of being “anti-papist propaganda” which fails to give an accurate historical representation of the period, I would just like to say: it’s only a film! It’s not meant to be true to life. It’s meant to be entertaining. (I emphasise meant to be, as many of the reviews so far suggest that it is otherwise).

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Rachel Weisz has dressed up as Snow White in a series of photographs for acclaimed celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz.

Snow Weisz: Princess or victim?

She is quoted as saying “…it doesn't matter what age you are, I think you always want to be Snow White.”

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A movie disaster looks set to hit Hollywood as it faces first mass walkout in 20 years. Unless the film and TV studios manage to appease the Writers Guild of America by the end of October 31st, all of its 12,000 screenwriters will go on strike.

Screenwriters go jobhunting in Rossen and Sawyer's film 

This is a terrifying prospect for all concerned: the writers, because their scripts might not outlive the strike, the directors, because they won’t have anything direct, the actors because they won’t have anything to act in, the stylists, make-up artists, set and costume designers, security guards and tea ladies, because they won’t have anything to style, design, guard or brew.

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 As Halloween approaches like a masked man with a bloodied cleaver, the Telegraph’s critics have come up with an excellent list of the 31 scariest movie scenes.

These shockers definitely aren’t for kids

However, with horror being such an underground genre, there are a number of movies that, although existing below the popular radar, are still capable of terrifying, impressing and enthralling. Here are some less-well-known gems to hunt out for a dark, scary Halloween night in front of the telly. 

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As a dog-lover and a movie-lover I feel oddly compelled to spread the word about a new addition to Battersea Park, just a chew-toy’s throw from the famous haven for canine castaways.

Would Lassie get your vote? If not, who would?

Six ‘silver screen pooch legends’, chosen by members of the public, are to be honoured with their own plaque, a la Hollywood Boulevard.

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