Mon, Mar 31, 2008

Site

People

User login

Advice & Reviews
Hipster Judaism Mad Libs
Fill in the blanks to create your own trend piece!
TAGS:

Tired of people emailing you articles about “hipster Judaism”? Ever get the feeling they’re all the same article repeated ad infinitum? Now’s your chance to write your own. Just fill in the blanks below, sign your name and mail the finished product to the AP, Reuters or your local newspaper.

HED: Beyond [Yiddish word] and [Kosher Deli Food]
DEK: The new Jew [insert “phenomenon,” “movement,” or “revolution”]

Outside a [adjective] club in [insert “the East Village,” “the Lower East Side,” or “Williamsburg”], a dozen [adjective] twentysomethings with [insert “tattoos” or “piercings”] on their [body part, plural] are smoking [an herb] and talking about the latest Jewish [musical genre] sensation, [insert “Matisyahu”].Insert "Hipster Jewish Hangout": Williamsburg, BrooklynInsert "Hipster Jewish Hangout": Williamsburg, Brooklyn

“For the first time in my life, Jews are [adjective],” said [precious gem, capitalized] [Jewish surname], wearing a t-shirt that read “[Biblical figure] [active verb].” “I used to feel [adjective] about being Jewish. Today I [verb] my Jewishness in ways I never did before."

[Color] [Jewish surname], founder of a company that makes [Jewish ritual object]-shaped pasta, agreed, adding, “This is not our [family relative]’s Judaism.”

Faced with a multiplicity of [plural noun], they’re forging their own Jewish [plural noun].

They’re the new Hipster Jews, and they’re here to [verb].

Hipster Judaism has its roots in [insert “Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah Song,” “The Beastie Boys,” or “Dee Snyder of Twisted Sister”]. Raised on [1980s TV series] and too young to have an intense memory of [insert “the Holocaust,” “the creation of Israel,” or “Yahweh”], this generation has chosen a [adjective] approach to Jewish identity. And young Jews aren’t the only ones who [verb] Judaism. It seems that everywhere, from [cable TV station] to [clothing store], popular culture has become saturated by a [adjective] form of Jewish [noun]. When [female celebrity] was photographed wearing a Kabbalah [noun], the trend was officially [adjective].The Best Thing To Happen to Judaism Since "Paul's Boutique": MatisyahuThe Best Thing To Happen to Judaism Since "Pauls Boutique": Matisyahu

This isn’t the Judaism of [character from Fiddler On the Roof, The Chosen or Yentl].

“Today’s young Jews aren’t interested in [name of Jewish institution],” said [bird species, capitalized] [Jewish surname], founder of the [nonsense word beginning with S, capitalized] Semites Salon Series. “Like, I’m dating a [religion] [nationality] [unsavory profession] with [disease]. If that’s how I [verb] my Judaism, that’s my [adjective] decision. Who are my parents to tell me what’s [adjective] and what’s not? I mean, [ghetto slang expression]!”

A just-released Jewish community report, “Judaism in the Age of [cultural phenomenon from the early 1990s],” backs up this claim. According to the report, “In contemporary [country], with its [exotic Starbucks blend] and [popular video game] culture, Judaism is only one facet of a [adverb] [adjective] identity. Indeed, today’s [insert “Gen Y,” “Millennial,” “New Boomer,” “MySpace,” “Flickr,” “YouTube” or ”Skype”] Jews are models of a [adjective], do-it-yourself Jewish [noun]. Much like [recent technological product, plural], they plug in to [plural noun] and then they [verb].”

All this has led to a decidedly more [adjective] approach to Jewish identity.

“Jews don’t want to give up on Judaism, but they also don’t want to give up on the American ideal of [noun],” said Dr. [Hebrew name] [Jewish surname], Professor of Jewish [plural noun] at [insert “Brandeis”] University. “For all groups, contemporary ethnic identification is as fluid as [liquid].”

Inevitably, there are those who disagree. “[A Jewish food] and [a Jewish entertainer] are insufficient [plural noun] for identity,” argued Rabbi [Old Testament Prophet] [Jewish surname] of [sparsely populated state]. “You can only go so far on [insert “t-shirts,” “concerts,” “blogs,” “Jewfros” or “drugs”] before you realize there’s no nourishment there.”

But Will They Marry?: "Hipster" culture might not lead to Jewish babies, one professor points out.But Will They Marry?: "Hipster" culture might not lead to Jewish babies, one professor points out.“It can’t be all [mood],” agreed Professor [four-syllable name] [three-syllable name] [Jewish surname], recipient of the American Jewish [noun] Foundation Award for Excellence in [adjective] Jewish Thought in 1956, 1957, and 1959. “Besides, we have zero evidence that the so-called ‘hipster’ culture leads Jews to [active verb, sexual] and marry other Jews. So what’s the point?"

“They just don’t get it,” responded [Season, capitalized] [Jewish surname], founder of the blog Jew[exclamation].com. “The critics just aren’t as [insert “cool,” “edgy,” “trendsetting,” “downtown,” or “hip”] as we are, so of course they’re coming at us from a [adjective] perspective. Did I mention that we’re extremely [insert “cool,” “edgy,” “trendsetting,” “downtown” or “hip”]?”

In the end, no amount of pigeonholing will succeed in [verb]ing the new [noun] of American Jews.

“We mustn’t make generalizations,” said [first name of 19th-century U.S. president] [Jewish surname], [senior job title] of The [1940s Hollywood producer] Family Foundation Crisis Campaign for American Jewish [noun]. “But I think it’s safe to say that all young American Jews are [adjective], [adjective], [adjective], [adjective], [adjective] and [adjective]. And they won’t be defined by anybody else.”


Michael Nehora


[Adjective of approval] article!

I [laudatory verb] this piece. Im going to [form of body-modification] it on my [insert facial appendage, limb, or internal organ] so that all the [ghetto slang for peers] can [verb] how I [verb] my [insert "Jewishness," "Yiddishkeit," or "Semiticness."] [Astrology-derived expression of good wishes]!





Anonymous


hilarious

picture of sarah silverman





Anonymous


jeez

I had no idea how passe this all was...





JewcyCraig




Anonymous


Thats it, were closing Jewlicious

Just kiddin'.

Nice article Eli, I laughed, I cried...

TM (jewlicious.com)





Anonymous


[insert appropriated exclamation of praise]

Awesome job Eli, using the Master's ironic tools to dismantle the Master's ironic house. I'm totally baking you a challah in my newly koshered e-z bake oven as a subversive statement about women's roles in traditional Judaism and as an expression of how much you rock.
-rokhl





Anonymous


subversively delicious

The best article Jewcy ever published, for real. The fact that you can make it into Mad Libs proves--while attesting to your mad genius--how generic the entire hipster experience has become. If not for the bio comment about underwear exchanges, you probably coulda leveraged this into multiple opportunities to father Jewish babies. And wouldn't that have made [Jewish philanthropist] happy...





Anonymous


youre funny

Hi Eli,

In addition to liking your article, I'm also liking your new hipster Jew-fro. Also excited to hear that you're at the point in your novel that your bio can say, "Eli is finisihing..." mazel tov!

- Leah





Anonymous


JEWBILATION

I thought it was very funny. Another jewish comedian. Hard to believe. Looking forward to the novel.
Steve





Molly Crabapple


God, this is beautiful. 

God, this is beautiful. 





TikkunGer


OK This was funny

OK This was funny





Post new comment

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <i> <strong> <strike> <b> <cite> <code> <u> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <p> <br> <img> <blockquote>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Images can be added to this post.

More information about formatting options

Captcha
This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
Copy the characters (respecting upper/lower case) from the image.