Starring: Charlton Heston, Leigh Taylor-Young, Chuck Connors and cameo part by Dick Van Patten
It's the year 2022... People are still the same. They'll do anything to get what they
need. And they need SOYLENT GREEN.
A tale of Earth in despair in 2022. Natural food like fruits, vegetables, and meat are now
extinct, singed by years of global warming even Al Gore couldn't stop. And Strawberries are $150
per cup - even more expensive than at Bi Rite!
Detective Thorn: Who bought you?
Chief Hatcher: You're bought the moment they pay you a salary.
Earth's face has completely changed - New York's population, for example, has grown to
40 million mouths to feed. The greenhouse effect has risen the temperature into nearly
unbearable regions, and the people are kept in the cities by law. Hopefully Charlton
Heston will bare his sweaty chest to make the heat more bearable.
"Try all of Soylent's delicious flavors: Soylent red, Soylent yellow, and new,
delicious, Soylent green. Made from the finest undersea growth!"
Luckily for the hot sweaty masses, the Soylent company has created a new food product
Soylent Green (presumably to replace the prosaic Soylent Red and Soylent Yellow lines), but
Detective Thorn (Heston) uncovers a horrible truth, while also uncovering the tasty
Leigh Taylor-Young. Detectives totally get all the chicks.
"If I had a girl like you, you wouldn't see me in church."
Weird cameo of the month is Dick Van Patten, who I swear to god is credited with "Usher #1".
Free bag of pocorn to anybody who can pick him out.
See? I told you.