4chanarchive

thats some scary paper mache

wat

that story is more interesting that the paper-mache thing.

explain

Item # SCP-579

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-579 is currently held in site 62-C, a compound located approximately 80 km from the main site. Site consists of building housing SCP-579 and living quarters for containment staff. SCP-579 is encased in a 60 m x 60 m x 60 m block of [DATA EXPUNGED] which is suspended in vacuum through use of electromagnets. Site 62-C is equipped with hardline to High Command through which all reports and notifications are to be made. Staff consists of two teams (each comprised of 17 Level 1 Personnel, three level 2 Personnel and one Level 4 Personnel) which are rotated bi-weekly.

All instruments and their backups are to be checked each half-hour to ensure their continued function. Changes in any measured attribute are to be immediately reported to High Command. Any deviation in any measured attribute greater than 0.02% of the accepted norm value will result in automatic execution of Action 326. Routine reports to High Command are to be made hourly. If a report is not received within 6 minutes of its scheduled time, Action 326 is to be executed.

**Absolutely no action regarding SCP-579 other than those stri

Your fortune: （　´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ

wut?

Description: [DATA EXPUNGED]

Action 326: High-level operatives within the main site 62 are to be immediately evacuated. Containment of other SCPs housed within the site is to be continued, with corresponding necessary staff remaining at their posts. Teams and resources required for Action 326-B are to be readied and moved into position.

If delayed reports are received by High Command or if measured attributes return to their accepted norm value, High Command will issue an “All-Clear” statement. If such a statement is not received within five minutes of the commencement of Action 326, execute Action 326-B. If at any time any measured attribute of SCP-579 deviates more than 0.09%, execute Action 326-B.

If an “All-Clear” statement is issued, at least 72 hours without further anomalies must pass before evacuated personnel may return to their stations and Action 326-B teams may stand down.

Action 326-B: Gateway of site 62 (SCP-004) is to be destroyed. This must be done regardless of personnel or facilities remaining within the site. Remnants of the Gateway — or the gateway itself if destruction proves impossible — are to be contained in the same manner as SCP-579. High Command will then issue further instruction.

Addendum [579-002]:

In the event of an unsuccessful Action 326-B, no further action will be necessary. [SUBSEQUENT DATA EXPUNGED]

In the event of a successful Action 326-B, sealed document 891 — which contains all data regarding SCP-579, as well as all hypothetical contingency plans — is to be opened. Procedures as outlined within the document are to be followed. Be aware that even with the successful execution of Action 326-B, estimates place the occurrence of [DATA EXPUNGED] at 1 year or less.

>>70544932
wat is that thing?

I love these

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

>>70544932
a blow up doll fucking a wall?

Item#: SCP-433

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-433 is to be kept under 7.8 tons of loose soil, to be warmed to 30-40 degrees Celsius. The area above this tank is to be dimly lit, with several thermal imaging cameras placed around the enclosure, for the easy removal of the subject, SCP-433 should show up as light blue, against the warm red of the soil. The soil should be removed monthly and disposed off, whilst fresh soil is put in place. During soil replacement or at any other time the subject need be moved, at least two class D personnel should be sent into SCP-433’s enclosure. The subject will immediately select one of the class D recruits to attack, the second class D recruit should then try to overpower SCP-433’s victim, whilst a level 2 operative will proceed to enter and inject the subject with 4 grams diacetylmorphine (heroin). 433’s victim should immediately be removed for testing, and the second class D recruit, terminated. SCP-433 should then be transferred rapidly to a confusion room (the subject’s tolerance for heroin fluctuates, and hence the amount of time it is incapacitated is not always determinable), the confusion room should contain high numbers of strobe lights, and loud thrashing/banging music as to disrupt the subjects psychic capabilities. Should this task be compromised, all class D personnel involved are to be destroyed, and the level 2 operative to undergo various psychological testing.

>>70547006

Description: SCP-433 is roughly 4 feet tall, with red/pink skin, and very frail. Under harsh lighting conditions, the subject appears partially transparent, although is still completely solid. SCP-433 will engage it’s prey using an as-yet unknown method (presumed telepathy). After engaging someone, SCP-433 will be incapacitated for 20/30 seconds. Anyone engaged by the subject will behave extremely aggressively towards anyone and anything for 10 to 20 minutes, after which the victim’s mind is ‘inverted’. Any personnel having suffered this should be tested thoroughly, and detained for one month, after which, they are to be terminated (aside from various test subjects).

SCP-433 was first discovered in Choquequirao, Peru, by Hiram Bingham, in 1909

Item#: SCP-704

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Item SCP-704 must be kept in a monochrome room, using filtered lights to allow as little color saturation as possible to SCP-704's surroundings. Personnel must wear clothing devoid of any color, i.e. shades of gray. Dulling visors should be worn by personnel at all times to filter out all color from their vision. Personnel who suspect a failure of equipment safety should immediately close their eyes (no matter what dangers appear to be nearby) and attempt to leave the vicinity of SCP-704.

Description: Moved from Site 51 in 1998. Tests on SCP-704 have revealed that it is floral in nature, but possessing internal structures not found in any other living being to date. Under ideal containment, the item appears as an ordinary, if pure white and somewhat overgrown, flower with strangely alien petals. Initially found under ideal circumstances (a dark, dully-painted room), upon first exposure to a colored background, SCP-704 immediately began emanating strange sounds and quickly assuming bright, constantly-changing colors (see Addendum). Additional tests were required before special containment procedures could be utilized effectively, resulting in the loss of nine personnel before containment.

Exposure to SCP-704's effects has caused extreme psychosis at least, and massive cerebral hemorrhaging resulting in death at most.

wtf is this shit, explain

>>70547432

Addendum: those with Level 3 security clearance should see Document #704-1.

Document #704-1: While most personnel exposed to SCP-704's effects were incapacitated or killed too quickly to be questioned, small amounts of data have described the strange sounds as sounding at first like psychedelic music that quickly progresses into a discordant cacophony and then "demonic" roars. The visual effects seem to include strange delusions, or sights never previously seen by the human eye or mind: indescribable colors and visions; aberrant, frightening, or "hellish" creatures; etc.

wut

^-^V

That's an awful lot of security for your mom in a costume, which is understandable I guess given the things she did to her children's genitals.

this is relevant to my interests

Item#: SCP-847

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-847 is kept inside a locked room reinforced with vanadium steel and concrete. In addition, SCP-847 must be kept chained up to at least four of the twelve electrically live hardpoints in the room at all times. These hardpoints are connected to relay of backup generators that will activate in case of a power failure. Should these generators fail or the chains become disconnected from the live hardpoints, Protocol SCP-847/E2 is to be enacted immediately and to remain active until SCP-847 can be properly resecured. This is to be escalated to Level E6 if the containment room is breached.

All personnel posted to SCP-847 must be armed with Containment Device 2-9, a shock baton with internal charge of 30,000 volts. No female personnel are permitted within a one hundred meter radius of SCP-847. Any female personnel found within this radius are to be incapacitated and removed from the area immediately.

>>70548939

Description: SCP-847 resembles a human female mannequin; researchers have been unable to determine if the missing pieces are due to injury, degradation or attack. SCP-847 is normally passive and docile unless it is in close proximity to a human female; experimentation has determined the radius of this effect to operate at around 50 to 100 meters. SCP-847 will animate under these circumstances and will make every attempt to reach the human female, exhibiting unnatural strength, immense destructive activity and total single-mindedness (see Archive file SCP-847/32198 for previously documented escape attempt). SCP-847's only known vulnerability is high-capacity electricity; judicious application of electricity will render SCP-847 temporarily docile.

Additional data: SCP-847 was originally found in a worse state of repair than its current status; it appears to have regenerated somewhat between initial discovery and present time. It is hypothesised that the regeneration method is linked to its obsessive desire for human females. The method SCP-847 uses to detect females in such a range, even despite the containment procedures, is also as yet unknown.

Item#: SCP-627
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Item SCP-627 is to be kept in a soundproof locked container at all times. Personnel interacting with SCP-627 must be equipped with headgear that blocks all outside noise. At no time should the headgear be removed in the presence of SCP-627. Failure to comply will result in immediate termination. Personnel are advised to approach SCP-627 in groups no smaller than three persons.
Description: Recovered from Site 3-A in late 2007. Item SCP-627 is believed to be part of a "training course" for employees of Site 3-A. It is a metallic cube-like object approximately 1.5 cubic meters in volume.
Subjects approaching SCP-627 report that it appears to be sentient and capable of speech. Many find it nearly impossible to separate themselves from it and must be forcibly removed from the area. Some subjects are able to recover from this; many are drawn into a sort of depression, as though they have lost a beloved companion.
It is interesting to note that physical examinations of the object reveal no obvious method of auditory output, and that sound-dampening equipment has proven effective against the hallucinations brought on by exposure to SCP-627.

this is pretty sweet.

MOAR

>>70549181
Weighted companion cube?

>>70549794

hah

moar

this is totally the kickass

Your fortune: Better not tell you now

SAUCE NOW.

Item #: SCP-053

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-053 is to be contained in areas no less than 15' by 15', and given adequate room to move. Toys, books, games and other recreational devices are to be amply provided and rotated every three months. Proper bedding, bathroom and medical facilities are to be maintained at all times. Food should be provided three times daily, and two snacks are allowed if requested.

No physical contact is to be made with SCP-053 without full atmosphere containment suit and eye shield. No eye contact is to be made with SCP-053 for any reason. Any objects given to personnel by SCP-053 may be removed, but must be given to quarantine for examination. Only one member of personnel may be present in the room at any given time, and must be secured by a safety line of steel cable.

Any personnel who begin to act erratically, scream, or attempt to grab SCP-053 are to be removed and quarantined. Any personnel attempting to remove their suit are also to be removed and quarantined. No sharp objects or firearms are allowed in SCP-053's containment room.

FUCK YEAH KRYLON

gb2/x/

>>70549794
yep

>>70551341

Description: SCP-053 appears to be a small three year old girl. She is capable of basic speech and appears to be slightly above average in mental development. She has a generally pleasant personality and rarely seems upset, becoming agitated only in the presence of groups of people.

Any and all humans over the age of three making eye contact, physically touching, or remaining around SCP-053 for longer then ten minutes will rapidly become irrational, paranoid and homicidal. Most, if not all of these feelings will be directed at SCP-053, and afflicted subjects will attempt to kill SCP-053 after first killing or driving off all humans visible to them. Those attempting to kill SCP-053 will suffer massive heart attacks or seizure and die seconds after doing any physical damage to SCP-053. SCP-053 will regenerate almost instantaneously from any wound, regardless severity.

SCP-053 appears wholly ignorant of this effect, and ignores any and all subjects affected. When questioned about the effect, SCP-053 is unresponsive.

Your fortune: Very Bad Luck

>>70549181
I lol'd.

Item #: SCP-039

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures:

SCP-039 is currently sealed in a steel-lined room of reinforced concrete. The two-stage airlock must have one section sealed at all times. Any personnel attempting experimentation on SCP-039 must do so via robotic assistance. No biological material is allowed in containment area. Anything coming in contact with SCP-039 is to be held in the airlock for 24 hours and observed for any infestation. Any biological matter coming in contact with, or infested by, SCP-039 is to be terminated and sealed in containment area. Any and all electronic equipment within a fifty meter radius of SCP-039 is to be incased in heavy EMI shielding.

Description:

SCP-039 was recovered from India, in a town uninhabited for several years. It is unclear if SCP-039 is actually an animal, as its structure is more akin to a crystalline formations then DNA. SCP-039 is a form of parasite, several inches long at maturity but microscopic at its “larval” or spore stage. It seeks out higher mammals, bonding via several small claws to the host’s spine. One host may have multiple infestations of SCP-039. SCP-039 takes over the body’s autonomic nervous system, thus making removal deadly to the host, fills the host bloodstream with spores, then becomes dormant. These spores migrate out to the dermis after a few days, encapsulating in cysts below the epidermis. Hosts report a slightly increased level of forgetfulness and a vague sense of paranoia.

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-323 must be kept within a room made of concrete no less than five feet thick on all sides. It should be kept on a plastic stand secured to the floor. Entrances should be made of concrete and carbon fiber, appropriately reinforced. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should any base or ferrous metals, alloys or metallic instruments come within 100 feet of SCP-323.

Specifications are attached for the construction of the echotransmission tunnels requisite for keeping SCP-323 pacified (without the metallic components of speaker equipment). The effectiveness of echotransmission tunnels should be tested at no less than 60db in the containment room prior to the insertion of SCP-323. This should be retested biweekly to prevent sound dampening by general wear and the object's effects on the room. Testing, maintenance and shaving is to be done by Class D personnel in teams of three, preferably of First Nations descent.

>>70551756
The chants necessary to keep SCP-323 dormant are attached in document OpNCan-SCP-323-Ad2. They are to be repeated by a descendant of the Yukon Cacrish First Nations band, in their entirety, with no more than ten minutes of silence before repetition. Mr. ██████, Mr. ██████████ and Mr. █████ are to be rotated in eight hour shifts. Should one be incapacitated, the remaining should be placed in 12 hour shifts for a maximum of one week before training a replacement(s).

Due to the considerable distance of the broadcasting room from SCP-323, Class 0 personnel may be used in the calibration of amplification equipment, administration of intravenous amphetamines and the maintenance of related equipment in the broadcasting room. Class 1 or above preferred.

Description:An animal skull of prodigal size, well-bleached and missing a lower jaw. SCP-323 measures 2.43ft lengthwise and .81ft wide. It appears to be at least partially canine in origin. In the presence of the SCP-323, a fine hairs erupt from surfaces and objects in the facility. Additionally, staff assigned to SCP-323 report increased hair growth on the face, chest, back and genitals. As the hair growth in the containment room may dampen the volume necessary to keep the SCP-323 docile, the room must be shaved daily (See OpNCan-SCP-323-Ad4 for equipment specifications).

>>70551756
>>70551913


Since pacification measures have been implemented, it is unclear as to whether SCP-323 is still capable of locomotion, or merely disinterested. It does appear sentient and aware of its surroundings and despite pacification the object exerts a considerable coercive influence on those it can "see" (SCP-323 has binocular vision and will respond to objects within 100 feet). Personnel under the influence of SCP-323 experience overwhelming urges to howl and to forcibly remove their lower jaw. Since incident NCan-I26, all personnel entering the room have been outfitted with a jaw-locking mechanism (see document OpNCan-SCP-323-Ad3) to prevent this and since the mechanism's implementation SCP-323 has not attempted to elicit these particular behaviors from staff.
SCP-323 "sheds" teeth on a regular basis, assumedly during silences between chants while unobserved. All teeth shed by SCP-323 should be removed from the containment room promptly at the beginning of the next round of chant. Teeth should be sealed in epoxy before removal and sent to Laboratory NCan-05 for further study.

>>70551756
>>70551913
>>70552031
SCP-323 is capable of manipulating metallic objects, especially iron. Metal items that catch SCP-323's attention are invariably launched into the chest of the nearest handler with impressive force. SCP-323 does not attack with the intent to kill, instead deliberately avoiding piercing or any vital organs, excepting the heart.

Those wounded by SCP-323 are overcome with the urge to push shed teeth into the wound. Upon doing this, the affected's body undergoes rapid mutation, always involving a violent rupture of the cranium and typically including explosive hair growth, the bursting of the spine out from the tail bone, tooth growth, the bursting of the finger bone from the fingertips, ultimately the rupture of the skin and death from loss of blood. During this process the affected becomes violent and will attempt to place SCP-323 upon their exposed brain stem and escape. Affected personnel must not be allowed to do this, and in the event of injury the room is to be flooded with cyanide gas immediately.

Regardless of incident, all Class D personnel in contact with teeth must ingest 75mg of silver oxide immediately upon leaving the containment room.

>>70551683
Most host organisms appear totally unaware of infestation until nearing an electrical device. Any electric field or electrical event that occurs near SCP-039 causes it to reproduce. Spores rupture from the cysts, and both larva and adults will quickly kill and consume the host. SCP-039 has proven very difficult to destroy, the currently contained swarm recovering from temperatures of +900 and -100 degrees Celsius, pressure of 8,000 psi, most biological and artificial toxins, and rads in excess of 5000.

Addendum: Those with Level 4 Security Clearance may view the following

>>70551683
>>70552179

Document #456-7: [ test subject TS-0984 exposed to SCP-039. Presided over by OP-09 and OP-19 ] TEST LOG: ENTRY #00001. RECORDING OF FIRST TEST ON SCP-039.

* OP-09: Can you communicate with it? ████ ? hey what are you-.
* TS-0984: Oh jesus. Oh god. I- (unintelligible mumbling).
* OP-09: ████ can you-
* TS-0984: ཨཱིན་ ཐེ་ དརྐ་ ཨཱི་ སྤེཨཀ་ (ancient Tibetan :unintelligible).
* OP-19: what is wrong with him?!.
* OP-09: I dont-(unintelligible).
* TS-0984: ཨོུར་ སིསྟེར་ ཨརེ་ ཐེ་ རོཨད་ དོགས་ ( roughly translates to : our sisters are the "road wolves").
* TS-0984: ཨཱི་ སེཨེ་ ཐེ་ རེད་ དོཨོར་ ཏོ་ དེཨཐ་ (unintelligible).
* OP-09: (unintelligible screams).

Addendum:OP-09 on the spot died of a stroke and the collapsing of one of his lungs. He was thus later infested by offspring coming out of TS-0984 (from SCP-039) , later OP-19 suffered a coma and lung failure after coming into contact with SCP-616 two weeks later. Usually this would be overlooked due to SCP-616's keter level, but when OP-19 suffered his stroke SCP-039 started to chant the exact words it said before OP-09 suffered his coma, even though TS-0984 was terminated the week before ( due to infestation) the voices where picked up through heavy audio and visual disturbance where apparently coming from no source.

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

sauce?

Your fortune: Average Luck

sauce?

www.editthis.info/scp_wiki/

Thats the sauce.

USS Enterprise (NCC-1701-D)

Captain's log

Stardate 43510.7.

The Enterprise has put in at Rutia IV to deliver medical supplies following an outbreak of violent protests. Although non-aligned, the planet has enjoyed a long trading relationship with the Federation. Now, a generation of peace has ended with terrorist attacks by Ansata separatists who are demanding autonomy and self-determination for their homeland on the western continent. Recreational shore leave has been prohibited and all away teams have been instructed to beam down armed.

Tabasco.

someone watches too much Doctor Who..

Also... Deadpool

to much to read /b/ has other intrests

>>70552953
Speak for yourself, Ritalinfag.

>>70552717

lulz

Moar?

wtf is this shit?

moar creepy pasta

MOAR MOAR!!

is it doc who?

[SUBSEQUENT DATA EXPUNGED]

SO MUCH COPYPASTA
SO MUCH COPYPASTA
SO MUCH COPYPASTA
SO MUCH COPYPASTA
SO MUCH COPYPASTA
SO MUCH COPYPASTA
SO MUCH COPYPASTA
SO MUCH COPYPASTA
SO MUCH COPYPASTA
SO MUCH COPYPASTA
SO MUCH COPYPASTA
SO MUCH COPYPASTA
SO MUCH COPYPASTA

>>70553886
no

Item #: SCP-038

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedure: SCP-038 is to be watered twice per day via overhead mister. Should mister, for any reason, break, attendants should water SCP-038 by hand until it has been fixed. Attendants watering SCP-038 by hand and maintenance personnel fixing mister should wear hazmat suits to prevent accidental cloning. Lighting is provided from SCP-037 in the room above it.

Description: Artifact was found on an abandoned farm in █████████████, New York in 19██. It was at first thought to be a common apple tree. However, upon closer inspection, it became apparent that the artifact was growing things other than apples and, in fact, other than fruit.

SCP-038 has the unique ability to clone any object that touches its bark. Objects begin growing almost instantaneously and reach maturity within a matter of minutes. A weight limit of 200 pounds per object has been previously recorded. Objects that SCP-038 has thus far cloned include: apples, oranges, watermelons, eggplants, candy bars and snack foods (See Addendum #1), televisions, toasters, laptops, keys (See Addendum #2), chairs, wine, DVDs/CDs (See Addendum #3), cats, dogs, and people.

>>70554155

Human and animal cloning through SCP-038 is not recommended, as they appear to age quickly. The majority of these clones live, on average, two weeks. After thorough examinations of the deceased clones, it has been determined that they had begun to ferment before death.

Object is currently held on Site 23 and there are currently no plans to move it.

Addendum #1: Dr. Klein has requested that personnel discontinue the cloning of items from the vending machines. (See Document #338-1)

Addendum #2: Dr. Klein has requested that personnel discontinue the cloning of personal items. (See Document #338-1)

Addendum #3: Dr. Klein has requested that personnel discontinue the cloning of movies and music. (See Document #338-1)

Document #338-1: "I would like to remind all personnel that SCP-038 is not, I repeat not a toy. It should not be used for cloning car keys, movies, music or items from the vending machines. If this behavior continues I will be forced to limit access to SCP-038. - Dr. Klein"

Your fortune: Better not tell you now

I haven't seen this copypasta in ages.

8>_<8

yeah and it somehow cant bust out that flimsy window

omg newfags...I AM THE CURE

GO CRAZY: http://www.editthis.info/scp_wiki/SCP_Series

>>70554342

Which?

oldfag is old.

Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again

>>70554260
>Addendum #1
>Addendum #2
>Addendum #3

Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail

>>70554551
see
>>70552712
slowpoke.

>>70555049
You can't deny it's what people would do.

So what exactly is 579 supposed to be?

>>70555762
..........

>>70555762
[EXPUNGED]

dude some of this shit is just down right scary... Think of if this shit actually existed?

the very first one, being absolutely aggressive without someone locking their vision on it? FUCK THAT!

i would hate to be working in the god damned facility that fails to keep these things on lockdown

Item # SCP-277

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-277 should be contained within a room with dimensions of at least 10 meters in height, length, and width. A minimum of five personnel should be placed outside the room, within a range of 14 to 15 meters of the object itself. The personnel guarding the object is to be replaced at least every 12 hours.

Item number 277 has left its room when fewer than five personnel are present, and can pass through standard concrete walls; provided at least five people enter the 14 - 15 m range, it tends to remain stationary. People who come within a 14 m radius of the object have experienced adverse psychological effects of varying intensity relative to the distance from the object. (see Document #277-a, Level 2 or higher only)

>>70556113
Description: SCP-277 appeared on ███████ ██, 2004 in █████████, ██. The object moved across the city rapidly, eventually stopping at a playground at █████████ Elementary School. Video surveillance shows children and faculty within a 15 m radius stopping all activity and focusing intently on the object; law enforcement officers behaved the same upon arriving at the scene. Initial attempts to contain the object by Level 2 personnel failed, as people entering a radius of 14 m or less seem to experience a suspension of higher reasoning faculties; eventually personnel fitted with electrodes were dispatched in order to move civilians to safety, with electric shocks serving to motivate personnel in the proper direction. After civilians were removed, the object began to follow personnel remaining within 15 m; electric shocks were further used to guide personnel into a container. #277 followed the personnel, and was transported to Site 14, where it is currently contained.

Object's appearance shifts rapidly, but its volume seems consistent, although estimates are difficult. It is apparently intangible while displacing air. Simultaneous observations with different visual apparatus (infrared, ultraviolet, X-rays, radio waves, ultrasonograms, electroscopy, etc.) yield no discernible images and do not overlap. Attempts were made to film SCP-277 with high-speed cameras in order to identify any accelerated patterns of movement or a coherent message or form; attempts failed.

>>70556113
>>70556236
Document #277-a: Further notes

Debriefing of personnel present during the incident at █████████ Elementary School, combined with analysis of surveillance footage, yielded the following conclusions:

People involved in the █████████ Elementary School incident experienced pronounced psychological effects which seem directly proportional to one's proximity to #277.

Children at the site were highest in number among those coming within the 10 m radius, yet did not experience the same long-lasting effects that adults did after leaving the proximity of the object. Children were referred to psychiatric counseling, but within thirty days, were able to resume their normal functions.

Personnel remaining outside a 15 m distance from the object reported feeling no significant effects.

Personnel remaining at least 14 m from the object reported feelings of euphoria and a lack of motivation while in proximity of the object; upon leaving the object's proximity, they reported feelings of malaise or depression for periods ranging from two to twenty-four hours. These personnel resumed their normal duties one day after the incident.

Personnel entering a radius of 10 - 13 m from the item reported similar effects at higher intensity, with depression lasting longer than that experienced by personnel remaining outside the 14 - 15 m radius; these personnel were referred to psychiatric counseling. All of these personnel were diagnosed with clinical depression and were prescribed medication to alleviate their symptoms. All were able to resume their normal duties within 45 days of the incident.

>>70556111

That's why the dangerous shit is done by Class D's. IE recruits from off Death Row and other lifers.

>>70556442
>>70556236
>>70556113
Personnel entering a radius of less than 10 feet from the object were unresponsive to attempts to debrief them, and were referred to psychiatric counseling; these personnel exhibited extreme lethargy, sleep disturbances, and refusal to eat. Full body workups were conducted; blood tests, organ function panels, and brain scans were normal. Personnel were remanded to separate psychiatric care facilities, and remain under supervision.

███████ ██, 2005: Compromise within Site 14 necessitated movement of all non-critical personnel to contain an emergency involving SCP-███; SCP-277 left its room, requiring re-containment procedures similar to those used at █████████ Elementary School. Several personnel came within 15 m of #277, including some who entered the 10 m range; all of these personnel experienced similar effects as those in the 2004 incident.

██████ ██, 2005: Gen. ████████ requested further testing on #277; expressed interest in weaponizing the object:

Begin transcript.

Gen. ████████: I think we've got a real winner here, imagine dropping it in the middle of Basra or -

Dr. ██████: If you've got an idea of how to get the damn thing packed, shipped, and deployed without any soldiers feeling its effects, I'd gladly consider it, General, but -

Gen. ████████: Some resources are expendable, Dr. ██████, and I intend to see that this happens.

End transcript.

███████ ██, 2006: First animal tests conducted: higher apes experienced effects similar to humans, dogs and rats seemed to experience effects while in its presence, but less severe aftereffects upon leaving its proximity. Requisitioning groups of inmates for further research.

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

Item#: SCP-012

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-012 is to be kept in a darkened room at all times. If the object is exposed to light or seen by personnel using a light frequency other than infrared, remove personnel for mental health screening and immediate physical. Object is to be encased in an iron shielded box, suspended from the ceiling with a minimum clearance of eight feet from the floor, walls, and any openings.

Description: Object retrieved by Archaeologist K.M. Sandoval during the excavation of a northern Italian tomb destroyed in a recent storm. The object, a piece of handwritten musical score entitled "On Mount Golgotha", part of a larger set of sheet music, appears to be incomplete. The red/black ink, first thought to be some form of berry or natural dye ink, was later found to be human blood from multiple subjects. The first personnel to locate the sheet (Site 19 Special Salvage), had two members descend into insanity, attempting to use their own blood to finish the composition, ultimately resulting in massive blood loss and internal trauma.

Following initial investigations, multiple test subjects were allowed access to the score. In every case, the subject mutilated themselves in order to use their own blood to finish the piece, resulting in subsequent symptoms of schizophrenia and massive trauma. Those subjects who managed to finish a section of the piece immediately committed suicide, declaring the piece to be "impossible to complete". Attempts to perform the music has resulted in a disagreeable cacophony, with each instrumental part having no correlation or harmony with the other instruments.

>>70556525
seriously though... i cant seem to grasp the concept of someone being totally and utterly fucked up enough to think this shit out. and whats worse yet is that i can actually fathom these god damned things existing in some respects!

but on a side note, the doctor's notes to keep personel from fucking around with the tree thing is just funny to me... because anon would knowlingly and fully go ahead and do the same, quite possibly cloning cash, porn, and alcohol

>>70555762
I think its best you turn off your computer, go to bed as quietly as possible, and don't come here for a few days. Seriously. If you need to leave the house, Remain silent unless prompted to speak. Whatever town your in, don't leave. Don't even get in your car.

Someone in your same postion asked that question and from what we gather....he got candlejacked.

This is freaking me out.

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

>>70557449
I think it's pretty awesome.

This isn't your typical creepy pasta, in fact, I'm not shitting bricks. I'm fascinated.

Your fortune: Excellent Luck

>Dr. Klein has requested that personnel discontinue the cloning of movies and music.
>Dr. Klein has requested that personnel discontinue the cloning
>Dr. Klein has requested
>Dr. Klein

Reminds me of Lovecraft.

>>70544932
creepy fail stale pasta wow, /b/ wow everything is cancer nao even raids are devoid of lulz nao

>>70557449
yeah you and me both... im looking forward to somehow securing a gov. job where i get to find out all the secrets the gov. doesnt want "normal" people to figure out... LIKE THIS SHIT

Your fortune: （　´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ

SCP-016 has nothing on it. I am saddened.

It should be known that all objects show no deterrence in the presence of tin and any structures incorporating an alloy or foil of said material. Initial tests using delinquent children have shown that the effects of all objects have been amplified in tin's presence. Research is being performed to determine why the mental state of conspiracy theorists seems to deteriorate as they create and apply conical tin foil hats

>>70558098
get out

Your fortune: Average Luck

>>70551485
what about raep?

SCP-409 sounds like Tiberium from Command & Conquer in it's later styles of appearance.

Your fortune: Excellent Luck

>>70546117
Why does candle-J need to be vacuumed no sound or wh

Your fortune: Average Luck

fapping to this.

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

>>70559698
Where is the thing about 409?

>>70557672

same here this is some pretty awesome shit. inspiring almost.

f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5

so, im looking at the joke things on the wiki page, and i couldnt help but notice the "/b/tard"...

discuss lol

Security Clearance Document #SCP-942

Object class: (See Document 788 Addendum #9)

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-942 cannot UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES be removed from its present location. Currently it is under containment outside [EXPUNGED] about 53km north of the actually city itself. The facility is to be guarded by no less than 30 persons. Any non-containment personnel that come with 30km of the facility are to be immediately terminated. The container itself is to be placed 0.7km below ground level and is only accessible from one entrance, to be monitored 24/7 by no less than 10 Level 1 Personnel. The container itself is [DATA EXPUNGED]

If at any point #SCP-942 breaches its container, Action 19 must be enacted.

Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail

>>70560543
I lol'd at that. /b/tard and WCC, brilliant!

>>70560679

this one sounds good

Your fortune: Very Bad Luck

Item #: SCP-037
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedure: SCP-037 is kept in place via its own gravitational pull. The room it sits in is made of one foot thick heat-proof glass. Should heat-proof glass break or crack, the emergency system will put a thinner second layer into place until it is repaired. Those repairing the glass should wear light clothing, such as shorts and a t-shirt to avoid heat stroke.
Description: Artifact was found in ████████████, Sweden in 19██ hovering above a small cottage. The owners of the cottage had been complaining that their neighbor's lights were always on and it was too bright out at night. The neighbors, however, had moved out months ago and the house no longer had electricity. Upon arrival, agents found the origin of the light was a small star. After some trial and error, it was safely brought to Site 23.
SCP-037 is a star exactly two inches in diameter with the same properties as our sun. It emits one billionth the amount of light the sun emits. It is not known how old the star is currently, but agents are advised to destroy it with ███████ should it turn into a red giant. Its origin is now thought to be a result of a hadron experiment somewhere in Europe.
The artifact is currently not accessible to any agent without at least Level 3 clearance (See Document #82-3.)
Document #82-3: "It has come to my attention that some attendants have been toying with SCP-037. The glass floor leading to SCP-038 is now covered in burnt marshmallow, tanning oil and various amounts of ash from burnt objects. I am now forced to bar access to all attendants who do not have Level 3 clearance. - Dr. Klein

Your fortune: Very Bad Luck

>>70561182
fucking LHC...

There is a template and a guide to writing, /b/ could do serious damage with these tools.

>>70561329
Hell this could be a meme template all in itself, like bel-air, make a scp-xxx of the meme.

>>70560679

Action 19: Teams are to be immediately dispersed and quickly evacute all persons within a 90km radius of the container. Evacuees are to undergo physical and psychological analysis at Site 43 for a minimum of 3 months. Evacuation teams are to be immediately terminated.

During the breach, any remaining personnel at the container are to immediately detonate the [DATA EXPUNGED] No organic material may come within 20km of the site after fallout. This is to be enforced by [DATA EXPUNGED] for a period of no less than 40 years.

Your fortune: Godly Luck

Item#: SPC-616
Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Only an ordained (and believing) minister of an Abrahamic faith with security clearance of level four or above may examine the door, and must remain at least three feet from the threshold of the door at all times, the exact measure is three feet, one inch, four tenths of an inch, five one hundredths of an inch, etc (π), non-ordained or non-Abrahamic clergymen must remain thirty feet, one inch, four tenths of an inch, etc (again, π). Violation of this distance will result in a forty percent chance of being sucked into the door, or a slow growing insanity, culminating in killing the emotionally closest people in relation to the particular subject.

Your fortune: Outlook good

>>70562439
irony!!!!!!!!!!

Your fortune: （　´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ

>>70562439
Electronic viewing has proved impossible, a remote controlled rover entered both destructive zones, but upon entrance of the door, the rover recorded images that killed all observers. A security tape of the video with the recording playing did not cause any death. It is unknown why, as the security tape had sound and color recordings. It displayed a video of an image of Jesus Christ on the crucifix, but upside down. A dull knife is brought to his face, and strips of skin are ripped off, while salt is poured on each new wound. Any remaining footage fade to a solid red screen. Observers of said footage committed suicide in various ways, ranging from a gunshot to the head, to punching oneself in the head until a brain hemorrhage was obtained. The subject’s hands were bloodied and fractured by the self-inflicted assault, but he continued until he rendered himself unconscious.

Wow man this is so cool! I'm attempting to write one as I type.

Your fortune: Good Luck

>>70562439
>>70562614
Speakers were placed around and a conversation took place, the door answered apparently telepathically. When the door began ‘speaking’ everyone in attendance died.

It is necessary for seven archbishops, ordained and believing, to at all times surround at a distance of ten feet the artifact on the surrounding catwalk. they must continuously pray; failure to adhere to this protocol has resulted in the door opening of its own free will; for the resulting consequences see SCP-[DATA EXPUNGED], SCP-[DATA EXPUNGED], and SCP-[DATA EXPUNGED].

all corpses of those who have died in relation to SCP-616 must be immolated within several minutes, failure to do so will result in hostile reanimation. recordings of the language spoken by reanimated corpses have been shown to be heard by every listener in their own language, despite it being seemingly unintelligable. the only discernible words we have found, are, in english, as following:

[DATA EXPUNGED]

NOTE: all personnel at facility [DATA EXPUNGED] must be polygraphed as regards to any dabbling in the occult, or satanism. personnel having done so must not be allowed in the containment chamber.

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

>>70562439
>>70562614
>>70562717
Description:SPC-616 was the door located in the ‘red room’ of the Lutz’s home. The door was collected on January ninth of 1976, under the pretense of removing the former owner’s possessions, at the cost of sixteen men. The Gate is believed to be the entrance Dante took to leave Hell, it is unknown how he entered the gate in Long Island, but it is nonetheless true. Since the door was moved with the end location remaining the same, it is assumed the gate was brought from Italy to America at some point. It was found by construction workers in the late 1940’s, they built the red room with no prior instruction, upon completion of the home all workers were found dead. upon being made aware of SPC-616, an SCP team extracted the door from the home by recruiting class D personnel known to be strong in abrahamic faith. the personnel were ordained by the [DATA EXPUNGED] as cardinals for the task. the entire house within ten feet of SPC-616 was removed, in a spherical fashion. the resulting object was lifted out with a crane and loaded into a flatbed truck, where it was moved to containment facility [DATA EXPUNGED]. it is now mounted in a 200'x200'x200' subterranean chamber, in the exact center. it is directly above a 200 megaton nuclear warhead, which, for emergency containment protocol purposes, is kept armed at all times. the containment chamber has been blessed twelve times by the [DATA EXPUNGED] himself.

Item#: SCP-121

Object Class: Euclid

Special containment procedures: Item SCP-121 should always be kept within a lead-treated multi-polymer vial; this vial should be placed inside an industrial size autoclave. Great care should be taken to ensure the autoclave's integrity, two alternate power sources have been provided for it at its previous location (see USPGC, lower level). Personnel requesting a sample from -121 should first be extensively vetted. If they pass muster, preparing a sample will require delaying the autoclave by two seconds, removing less than a milliliter of the liquid, and then running a second autoclave for two days to ensure the sample's integrity. All personnel should observe full NBC precautions and report any and all "sudden revelations". Should a subject demonstrate sudden acumen regarding finance (and in particular, predictions towards commodities and stocks) he or she should immediately be detained.

Description: SCP-121 is 120 mL of a positron-heavy superconducting liquid, grey to silver in color. When ingested in combination with a cocktail of Piracetam, modafinil, and beta-blockers, it allows a short period of vivid precognition. First lifted from the Mandean temple of ███-████ in 1957, it has proved to be at once incredibly volatile and useful. Subjects ingesting more than 3 mLs of the liquid immediately display signs of intense and violent psychosis, developing into self-mutilation and culminating ultimately in suicide.

Errata: for results from test subjects alpha through chi, see files 121ά-121χ.

Item#: SCP-232

Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Item SCP-232 is to be kept lit at all times. No shadows should be allowed to form in the presence of this object. Should one of the redundant light bulbs burn out, a two agent team may enter to replace the bulb, one to change the bulb and one to carry the lamp to prevent shadows from occuring behind the agent changing the bulb. The lamp is stored in the cabinet outside the room, and must be inspected before each use.

Description:Moved to Site 19 5/7/1997. Origin is suspected to be of Sumerian design. SCP-232 is a statue of the goddess Ereshkigal, being offered a liver by what is assumed to be an utukku, or Sumerian demon. When SCP-232 is in the presence of slight shadows, agents may note the sensation of claws dragging lightly against or through their skin. In the presence of heavy shadows, light scratches to deep gouges may appear. The eyes of the statue have been noted to follow teams as they enter.

Blood and viscera left in the presence of the statue have been noted to inexplicably vanish before they may be cleaned, so sanitation staff is not required in the event of activity. Class 2 hazardous containment procedures should be maintained in the event of activity.

In the event of complete power failure, the entry airlock will be sealed automatically.

Addendum: Those with Level 2 Security Clearance should see document #232-1

Document #232-1: SCP-232 additional procedures

In the event of activity, those directly involved should be monitored as per protocol 11B in the Security clearance database. SCP-232 is suspected to use some of its victims to survey the surrounding area.

Item#: SCP-254

Object Class: Euclid/Keter (See Errata)

Special Containment Procedures: SPC-254 should be handled with extreme care from a distance. Store under heavy compression at standard temperature, preferably in Ga or similar.

Description: Item SCP-254 is invisible to the naked eye. Magnetic resonance tests have shown that the basic shape of item SCP-254 is a perfect geometric sphere. It is believed that the item is the closest terrestrial equivalent to dark matter yet.

Item SCP-254 is to be kept under heavy compression at standard temperature in a room 16' by 16'. SPC 254 is believed to absorb objects that pass into it and recoup their general mass and shape into itself to grow bigger. It is drawn to objects with even the most minuscule mass (>1.5g). However, it cannot absorb elemental gallium, making it the most viable solution for storage.

All personnel planning to work on should be registered HP-29 hazard insured, and should, resources permitting, come no closer than 25 meters to SPC-254.

SPC-254 also shows some low level amounts of sentience. When given the choice between a magnetic resonance machine and a titanium block more massive than the MR machine, SPC-254 absorbed the MR machine. It seems to prioritize its victims with technology and other sentient creatures coming first. In another test, SPC-254 chose three dogs over a block of lead, and in another, two dogs over an MR machine.

* SCP-001 - LOCKED UNTIL SOMEONE MAKES ONE WORTHY OF THE TITLE OF SCP-001.
* SCP-002 - the "living" room
* SCP-003 - biological motherboard
* SCP-004 - the 12 rusty keys and the door
* SCP-005 - skeleton key
* SCP-006 - fountain of youth
* SCP-007 - abdominal planet
* SCP-008 - zombie plague
* SCP-009 - the blade of caesar
* SCP-010 - horns and reversed temperature
* SCP-011 - civil war memorial statue
* SCP-012 - a bad composition
* SCP-013 - the all and nothing
* SCP-015 - pipe nightmare
* SCP-016 - Sentient Micro-organism
* SCP-017 - shadow person
* SCP-018 - super ball
* SCP-019 - glowing humanoid
* SCP-020 - the piano
* SCP-023 - the installation
* SCP-031 - ruby of ruination
* SCP-032 - the marble
* SCP-034 - Polybius
* SCP-037 - Dwarf Star
* SCP-038 - The Everything Tree
* SCP-039 - the parasite
* SCP-042 - A formerly winged horse
* SCP-047 - The Spear of Chaos
* SCP-051 - the mask
* SCP-053 - young girl
* SCP-054 - water nymph
* SCP-059 - radioactive ingot
* SCP-066 - white cube
* SCP-071 - new-age succubus
* SCP-072 - Three beads and some Sand
* SCP-074 - burns and egg sacs
* SCP-075 - acid snail
* SCP-077 - black sphere
* SCP-078 - glowing, sentient figurine
* SCP-079 - old AI
* SCP-086 - the whispering tetrahedron
* SCP-087 - alien entity
* SCP-088 - exponential consumer
* SCP-091 - wood nymph
* SCP-093 - Red Sea object
* SCP-097 - Negro bank
* SCP-100 - The worst thing in the world

Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail

Item #: SCP-051

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Item SCP-051 is to be secured to a wooden table at all times. Any personnel in the vicinity are to maintain complete silence. Personnel are not to make eye contact with SCP-051 for an extended amount of time.

Description: SCP-051 was placed under supervision of Site 34 on June 8, 1980. Origins unknown. Subject is a 4" by 5" black-toned, hand-painted ceramic mask. It is adorned with 24 karat gold and two lavender ribbons. SCP-051 reportedly speaks the name of any personnel in the vicinity (Note: This occurs regardless of whether subject's name has previously been mentioned in SCP-051's presence or not).

Personnel report a variety of "voices" after leaving object's presence. SCP-051 remains inanimate at these times; communication is assumed to be telepathic in nature. Personnel are not to acknowledge this communication in any way in the presence of the object. Doing so has resulted in immediate death by a variety of means (lack of airflow, internal hemorrhaging, bodily ejection of the heart, etc.).

Errata:

1. In all tests, SPC-254 absorbed both objects when given the chance. Radioactive tracing elements were introduced to attempt to track the absorption process. It seemed as if the tracers increased in intensity, then disappeared. (For full report, see file SCP254-T290)

2. It has come to our attention that SPC-254 has been creating massively powerful outward bursts of energy. These energy bursts eradicated most solids they came in contact with, by means of dissolving many intermolecular bonds. Recommend removal from facility and permanent storage under sea.

3. Relocation complete. Exact co-ordinates are ██████████████████, several kilometers under the Aquarius Research Station.

4. High Alert issued. SCP-254 appears to have left its compression chamber, and is currently at an unknown location. As we are not able to detect it directly, ███████████████ are advised to search for sudden drops in a small body of water, unknown disappearance of mass from landmasses, and other such occurrences as possible signs of SCP-254. Re-capture method consists of deploying the Gallium Open Pressure Tank in a trap-like manner. (For full document, see file SCP254-X02)

Gotta catch em all.

see, this thread is epic now.

but what the thing is about all this is that the inanimate or non-hostile/harmful ones arent really as interesting to me as the other ones are...

like the very first one. extreme precautions must be taken to keep the damn thing from killing anyone. or the sumarian statue one... if there isnt total light around it and anyone in the chamber, physical damage as well as some serious mental scarring occurs. i love this shit, and i am obligated as anon to urge anon to produce more of these, if possible, and to please keep this shit as fucked up as possible

SCP-406

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures:

SCP-406 is to be held in a well-lit, unventilated 10' by 10' room at all times. Temperature is to be held at constant 40 degrees Fahrenheit. No personnel are to interact with SCP-406 without contained-atmosphere suits and heavy lead shielding around the head. Interaction is to be held to periods no longer than five minutes. No samples are to be taken, and no invasive testing that may rupture SCP-406 is allowed. Any movement from it must be met with immersion in liquid nitrogen until all movement ends.

All personnel entering or exiting the area are to be given full x-ray and CAT scans, without an exception. Personnel who resist are to be contained and observed.

Description:

SCP-406 is a large, waxy mass that suspends itself from the ceiling by several thick cords extruded from the main mass. These are hollow, and will penetrate non-metallic surfaces as they grow. Growth begins with one inch a day at 50 degrees Fahrenheit, and increases rapidly with additional heat. SCP-406 is filled by millions of thin, hair-like structures that are capable of limited movement.

The item was recovered in southern Wisconsin, in the basement of a local store owner. Subject had been missing for several days. SCP-406 had grown protrusions through most of the residence, projecting out of the walls in eight sections, mainly the kitchen. Removal was effected by use of a large knife.

SCP-406 proceeded to release thousands of tiny hair-structures, which swarmed over all subjects in the residence. The structures entered the body, and burrowed into all tissues. Those effected quickly became irrational, violent and hyper-sensitive to light and heat. After 24 hours, subjects gathered in the basement and began to have violent seizures. Death followed after three hours. SCP-406 was found to be re-sealed and growing upon recovery. Subjects had all begun to rot prematurely, and had hair-structures on all exposed flesh.

1.Go to 4chanarchive.org
2.Click on 'request interface'
3.Submit thread
4.????
5.PROFIT!!

SCP-173 I choose you!

Ah, the SCP series. Good stuff, this should be in /x/ though.

http://editthis.info/scp_wiki/SCP_Series

>>70565268


god what a fag

BUMP

Your fortune: Better not tell you now

Item #: SCP-071

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-071 must be kept in cell devoid of direct viewpoints, with access granted only by two separate Level 4 personnel, preferably of different genders. Cell should be remotely monitored via closed circuit camera operating on a 60-second delay. Though no interaction with SCP-071 should be necessary, as it appears to have no need for sustenance, personnel entering SCP-071’s containment area must do so in groups of no less than 4 and containing both male and female personnel. Under no circumstances should personnel be permitted to view SCP-071 directly, nor should they be permitted viewing through undelayed remote footage. All footage and images of SCP-071, once deemed unimportant, must be destroyed.

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

>>70566151
Description: SCP-071 is presumably a humanoid neuter, though this is at present difficult to confirm. SCP-071 possesses the ability to assume different forms with the apparent intent of enticing onlookers to engage in sexual activity. Thus far it has assumed a myriad array of forms, on the whole consisting of males and females of ages ranging from prepubescent to middle-aged (see Addendum 071-01). It appears unable or unwilling to assume differing appearances without external stimuli, remaining in its last assumed form when left to its own devices.

SCP-071 appears to possess intelligence on par with that of a human and displays complex expression, though it has yet to reveal any linguistic ability. SCP-071 also possesses expanded awareness, responding to viewers even when separated by barriers designed to prevent SCP-071’s knowledge of their observation (such as remote monitors or one-way mirrors.

Your fortune: Better not tell you now

>>70566151
>>70566245
Class-D personnel allowed to engage in sexual relations with SCP-071 suffered rapid atrophy of muscle, skeletal structure and brain function, with onset occurring 1-2 days after contact. The atrophy persisted for roughly a week, with the stabilized state characterized by decreased stature, decreased organ function, sharply decreased brain mass and, in most cases, sterility. Personnel achieving auto-gratification through use of media containing SCP-071 (whether delayed or not) suffered the same effects.

SCP-071 was initially discovered in ██████████, ██████ in 19██. Efforts to remove footage and photography from the Internet are underway, though—judging by several recent medical cases—some still remain.

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

>>70565103
"This thread has been requested 4 times now."

NEED MOAR.

>>70565268
This is /b/(random) anything can be put in /b/ but nothing can be left out of /b/ (except furries, fuck them)

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

>>70566332
>>70566151
>>70566245
Addendum 071-01: Supervisor's log, ██- ██- 20██ When presented with class-D subject ████ ███████, SCP-071 assumed the shape of a canine. The subject in question reacted with shock and refused to proceed with the experiment, though the subject's physiological signs were consistent with a state of sexual arousal.

Addendum 071-03: Supervisor's log, ██- ██- 20██ Subject ██████ ███, a castrated class-D subject, when exposed to SCP-071, was ignored by it, and did not even affect its current form of a sheep. ██████ ███ was not able to perceive SCP-071 in any way, including tactile, even after the addition of other class-D subjects to the cell. Supervisor suggests tests with further viable class-D personnel involving sterilization when in the presence, during intercourse, and afterwards at various times, to test for a possible method to reduce losses.

Addendum 071-03a: General's addendum, ██- ██- 20██ Keep ██████ ███ around, write up some guideline for me to sign, and add him/it to entry guidelines, conditional after proof that he can perceive other personnel engaging in relations with SCP-071. Never can be too careful.

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

>>70566332
>SCP-071 was initially discovered in ██████████, ██████ in 19██. Efforts to remove footage and photography from the Internet are underway, though—judging by several recent medical cases—some still remain.

this looks like a job for /b/!

>>70565268
LOL haxxored by anon

Your fortune: Excellent Luck

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 5 times now.

so, anon please explain where the OP pic came from... was that made specifically for this SCP shit? or is it from something i havent seen from under my rock (with interwebz access)

Your fortune: Bad Luck

>>70567219
never seen it before today

You have no new messages. <Beep.

>>70567219
>>70567921

ive seen it in a couple creepy pasta threads. its kinda satisfying to finally know where it came from

>>70568881
so then it IS specifically made just for this shit? because thats one hell of a statue that i may have to find and steal to scare my friends and family with at 2 A.M.

whose with me on that?!

Your fortune: Very Bad Luck

for whatever reason I can't view 016 or 093.

Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again

>>70569674
ooh ooh pick me pick me!!!

Your fortune: Godly Luck

Item #: SCP-097
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-097 is located in the director's office. Any personnel with clearance are welcome to deposit a coin.
Description: SCP-097 is an antique, iron-cast mechanical bank in the shape of an African-American stereotype (black face, big smiling red lips, large white teeth) that was popular with children around the turn of the 20th century. A right arm sticks out with an open palm, where any denomination of coin is placed and the arm pushed down, released, flipping the coin into the bank's "mouth".
If an American coin minted between 1865 to present is used with this device, anyone present can faintly hear the hum and music of old Negro spirituals for around thirty seconds. Any coin minted before 1865 will elicit screams interspersed with the cracking of whips and cursing, along with the sounds of a fire raging. Very rarely, these vintage coins will result in what sounds like voodoo chanting and singing.
Addendum [SCP-097b]: Attempts to find the source of the sounds have proven inconclusive. The donor of SCP-097 ███████ █████ gave no information on the item in question, stating only on his wanting to be rid of it. The donor ███████ █████ died shortly after SCP-097 left his possession, his body found infested with flies of an unknown species. It is unknown the relation the flies have to to SCP-097 but on testing the item it seems nonthreatening to anyone, making the donor's death unsolved.

>>70566151
What would happen if you threw a narcissist in there it would be hilarious.

Your fortune: Excellent Luck

>>70569986
oh shi-

nigger got godly luck!

>>70569823
dude, based on the age and general mental make-up of each person targeted, think of how badly you could sacre some people just based on the shock value of seeing THAT?!

Your fortune: Excellent Luck

Item #: SCP-100
Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-100 is to be kept in a locked room of 50 x 50 meters. Only class D personnel are allowed to enter SCP-100, although it is very discouraged for any person to enter SCP-100 regardless of clearance level. Personnel entering SCP-100 must never close SCP-100’s door and must enter in groups of at least 2 persons. Any analysis of photos or footage of SCP-100's insides must be analyzed by at least 2 persons at the same time.

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

>>70570431
Description: First discovered in 19██ by 28-years-old ███████ █████ (from hereon referred to as Victim Zero), SCP-100 has the physical appearance of a typical portable toilet. When Victim Zero entered SCP-100 for the first time, he was taken out after 20 minutes when a passer-by heard him screaming from inside SCP-100. After being taken out, he was extremely disturbed and aggressive. Victim Zero was arrested and became highly introverted and reluctant to speak to anyone. When asked about what he saw in SCP-100, he became aggressive and started screaming in terror about "The worst thing in the world" being inside SCP-100. Reports of cases like his continued appearing for some days and site 19 eventually arrived to investigate the case and took Victim Zero under custody.
Apparently, SCP-100 has the property of attracting people in a radius of 20 meters and tempting them to enter it and only attracts one person at a time. Most of the people who enter SCP-100 are never seen again. Those who escape present behavior similar to that of Victim Zero, including the reaction when asked about what was inside SCP-100. Also, many of the survivors developed suicidal tendencies. Apparently, this effect upon people only takes place once the door is closed. Somehow, SCP-100 has the same effect on people even when they are looking at it’s insides through remote monitoring devices.
When SCP-100's door is closed its inner area increases dramatically. When entered by more than 1 person at the same time, its insides are a completely empty, white room. Photos and video footage of the insides of SCP-100 show the same empty room when material is viewed by more than 1 person at the same time. When only 1 person enters SCP-100 or sees material of SCP-100, said person suffers the psychological effects of SCP-100.

are all these storys from an aliens point of view? like the aliens have different types of people, i.e. frat boys, children, etc.

Your fortune: Good Luck

>>70570529
>>70570431
Addendum [SCP-100b]: After much psychological therapy, Victim Zero confessed that he was responsible for creating SCP-100. According to his statement, he used SCP-100 (when it was still a portable toilet) for a ritual he found in a text on the internet. Victim Zero still has given no details about the contents of this text and his reaction when asked about the insides of SCP-100 has not changed. A special team has been formed to locate and take down permanently the text. As of now, there has been no success.

Addendum [SCP-100c]: Attempts to destroy SCP-100 have been futile and have shown a certain level of self-awareness in SCP-100, as people involved in the destruction attempts have exhibited behaviors typical in SCP-100's victims even if they never entered SCP-100. As a consequence of incident SCP-100-0, all future destruction attempts have been suspended (for more information on incident SCP-100-0, see document SCP-100-0b)

Document SCP-100-0b [DATA EXPUNGED]

LOL TOILET!

>>70544932

Doesn't make too much sense.

1. If it's so bloody dangerous, then why even enter the damn thing?
2. A living paper mache thing of evil? What?

Your fortune: Godly Luck

>>70571000
>The reddish brown substance on the floor is a combination of feces and blood. Origin of these materials is unknown. The enclosure must be cleaned on a bi-weekly basis

IT'S STRONG BAD =O

I'D RECOGNIZE THE FACE ANYWHERE!!!!

^w^

Your fortune: Godly Luck

why can't I read the /b/tard one???

SCP series of creepy pasta
pretty good stuff. theres a whole wiki about it

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

i've gotten godly luck four times in this thread.

this is a very lucky thread...

steven?

>>70551913
>>70551756

Just silly, sorry.

And couldn't a tape work just as well as having an actual injun?

>>70571242

So what if the shit and blood pile up? Not a big deal compared to HAVING YOUR NECK BROKEN. And sides, why not keep the fucking thing tied up INSIDE the cage?

>>70572477
Yes?

Item #: SCP-864

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: No special containment procedures are
needed, as research indicates that SCP-864 has been in circulation with
the general populous for a number of decades before retrieval. However;
due to proper procedures, SPC-864 is to be kept in a locked box in Secure
Section 33-7.

Description: SCP-864 is approximately 9.398cm long and 0.76cm thick,
appears to be made of wood, has a hexagonal shape, a small mass of a
flexible substance on one end, and contains a cylindrical rod within its
center that appears to be graphite.

Gripping and rapping SCP-864 against any surface results in the
manifestation of new matter, which seems to appear from no known location.
All new matter is completely identical. For further research on new matter,
see Addendum 864-b.

SCP-864 was received from a New Jersey mental institution when the
previous owner was checked in for mental exhaustion and dementia by his
family. The subject, one Mr. █████████, had passed away in his cell on
09/14/06, and was rendered unavailable for research, as SCP-864 was
retrieved on 10/02/06. An online video of the subject attempting to
scientifically study SCP-864 has been found, dating from 01/12/06 to
07/12/06 documenting 6 months between first study and the subject's
slip into mental instability.

Your fortune: Bad Luck

fake faggot anon has no imagination.

Document #864-b: SCP-864 New Matter research

New Matter created by SCP-864 contain the following qualities. For
documentation of permissions for chemical testing on New Matter, contact
Dr. ██████ of research department ███-█. Translators have been unable to
decipher text found on 864 New Matter at this time.

-1.27mm thickness
-19mm Diameter
-0.36cc volume
-3.1g mass
-28 Billion Milliards of Copper Atoms
-circular shape
-raised edged
-appears to have a picture of a currently unknown man facing right on one
'side', while the other side contains what appears to be
-text found on 864 New Matter appear to be Latin based with the statements
"1961", "S", "E-PLURIBUS UNUM", "LIBERTY", "IN GOD WE TRUST", "ONE CENT", and
"UNITED STATES oF AMERICA".

Your fortune: Bad Luck

>>70572958
it's...a thing that makes pennies?

>>70573130
A fucking penny - copper???

HELLLOOO?

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

>>70572958
Coin roll, haha.

Your fortune: Very Bad Luck

>>70572633
There's a spiritual element to these stories that you might not get. A taped recording lacks the power of an actual person performing the actual ceremony. You can't get a robot to do a rain dance. There's magic in living flesh, empowered by the living soul, that just doesn't carry-over to electronic reproductions of the sound of a voice. In the same theme, some of these items cannot be watched on live film (security cameras need time delays) without incurring the same or similar... effects.

This is of course within the universe of spiritualism. It's probably not real, but human beings are genetically programmed to instinctively know it's real. It's how early humans understood the world for a very, very long time, vastly predating both polytheism and human consciousness as we know it.

That said, some people just don't "get" this kind of horror. My girlfriend for example saw Raiders of the Lost Ark for the first time the other day and did not understand the ending. As the credits rolled she asked "this might sound dumb, but why did all that happen?" She was raised in a very, very non-religious environment; I was raised in a highly religious environment, specifically one of the Abrahamic faiths. I knew instinctively why the Ark of the Covenant of a Holy God would not tolerate handling by the disgusting agents of an evil regime; she did not. Pity, really.

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

Item #:SCP-113
Special Containment Procedures: Security requirements: Since the item has no major disruptive properties, it is kept in Locker #17 on site 23, with no other security. However, it has been noticed that the item has a tendency to be misappropriated by Agent Brooks, for his own personal use. It has been decided that as long as he continues to return it, this may be allowed to continue, as he is testing the consequences of repeated use for us.

Your fortune: Bad Luck

>>70575248
Description: This item resembles a small piece of red jasper, but when analysed under EDX, Mass Spec. and other fingerprinting analysis, is found to consist of none of the usual constituents. Instead, its composition is similar to that of item #338. When touched by the flesh of an organism possessing sex chromosomes, the object changes both the genetic and the physical sex of the entire organism. This happens in 3 stages.

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

>>70575421
>>70575248
In the first stage, lasting approximately 0.2 seconds, the object forms a bond with the cells that it touches. In that stage, the material touching the organism undergoes a chemical change. In the second stage, lasting approximately 2 seconds, the item emits a low-energy wave that travels through the body at approximately the speed of light. The wave has a different amplitude depending on the initial sex of the organism, leading researchers to believe that the object analyzes the organism in the first stage. This causes a complex protein interaction that changes the chromosomes of the organism to those of the opposite sex. The reaction is too complex to describe in detail in this manual. In the third and final stage, which lasts around 20 seconds, the item emits another wave that causes cells in the body and the peripheral nervous system (but not the brain) to change to a strange type of cells somewhat similar to stem cells. The cells change back, but the body of the organism is changed to that of the opposite sex in the process.

Your fortune: Outlook good

>>70575248
>>70575421
>>70575521
The artifact also takes around 1 minute to recharge, although this period of time is shorter if the artifact is in direct sunlight. This change is semi-permanent, in that it can only be reversed by a second contact with the item. When the object is placed into direct contact with asexual organisms, it begins the process, but stops at the first stage. The same is true of inorganic material. Thus, the item is easily handled.

Note [Only accessible by O5-3]: Bill, we could make a lot of money on this in the gender-reassignment business. I know you've got some contacts in that area, so let me know if you think it's possible. John.

DO WANT

>>70572958
>>70573130
Got it. Pencil from The Lost Room.

Who the fuck wrote SCP-974?

Your fortune: Outlook good

>>70576375
lulz

Your fortune: Bad Luck

>>70575661
DO WANT DO WANT DO WANT DO WAAAAAAANT.

Your fortune: Bad Luck

>>70576375
Peter Chimera.

Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail

>>70576375
shit. I just read it. Worst one yet. Fucking awful

0¬0

>>70556911

No, we'd be cloning hawt females.

Think about it - you get your own sex slave, then she dies after 2 weeks, so you get a replacement.

I WANT ME AN MUTANT APPLE TREE DAMMIT!

>>70567153
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

this reminds me of a book i am writing... heres a little bit of it:
As she entered, she noticed how different A9 looked at night, it just seemed…creepy. There was a light coming from around a corner.
“Zach? You’re here already?” she said.
“Yeah, you said to come at 9, its 9:15”
Zach Ruther was Dr. Madison’s TA and what you would call your stereotypical nuclear physics major, mid twenties, small rectangular glasses, and a black beard, which wasn’t very befitting. He was leaning over a table looking through a binocular microscope.
“I still can’t guess what this thing is made of.” said Zach as he looked at the flat piece of brown jagged metal of which was about the size of a dinner plate.
Dr. Madison walked over to an open thick titanium briefcase on the table; she read the note that was inside it:
Department of Naval Intelligence. 3/17/17
Dr. Julie P. Madison,
The sample you have received is a small part of the recovered debris. Our analysis has yet to find the elemental composition, age, or purpose of the object in question. We would like you to review this sample using all the tools available at your disposal, in particular, the experimental Koester Stranglet Beam Scanner.
This information is currently at secrecy level Tango. Any leaking of information regarding this sample’s test results, location, or even existence will result in cancellation of our funding, which as you know is substantial. Please contact me when you have concluded your testing. I will personally send out personnel to recover the sample and information. Good luck Dr. Madison.

With highest regards,
Commander Elliot S. Morgan, DNI.

>>70544932
Its the fucking weeping angels from doctor who

Your fortune: Bad Luck

instant VAGINA:

Item #: SCP-133

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Item SCP-133 should be stored within a lead lined box in a sealed, bomb resistant storage room at all times. The walls of this room should be no less than 4 feet thick, and should be covered in mirror-polished steel both inside and out. Due to the nature of the item and its contents, absolutely no-one below security clearance level 4 is permitted within the storage room for any reason, and anyone below level 4 clearance attempting to gain access to SCP-133 is to be terminated.

Description: SCP-133 appears to be an unmarked shipping crate, unremarkable in every way. Contained within, however, are several hundred (613# by 30.02.2008,14:47) rectangles of a waxy, paperlike material, folded in half. If unfolded, bears a black dot 5 cm in diameter.

If the backing is placed against a solid surface printed side down, and rubbed, the black dot will transfer to that surface, creating a permanent hole. Our tests indicate SCP-133 is capable of penetrating 24" of structural grade titanium, but smooth or highly dense materials reduce its ability to penetrate. When applied to flesh, the results are devastating.

Origin: Unknown.

>>70577708
well thats all fun and dandy, but you gotta think... if this thing is so damn uncontrollable, if you clone something once, whose to say it wont clone it again for something like... say... selfdefense?

an army of an hero hawt females killing scientists? Sounds like high school all over again

lul

Your fortune: Good Luck

>>70577708
In stories of this type, brick-headed people unwilling or incapable of spiritual insight end up as ground beef in short-order.

Consider: what of the souls of the clones of people? Do they have souls? What becomes of them when they expire? What kind of eternal, supernatural tax is levvied on the souls of those you clone? What kind of penalty do *you* incur from use of the tree? Where does the matter come from? Why do the clones decay so fast?

These objects are dangerous. Merely understanding how to contain them without causing an atrocity requires an investment of human lives. They are tied to powers and forces beyond the horizon of modern science, forces that are potentially unknowable. They are not to be innocently toyed with to satisfy curiosity or lust, any more than a monkey at a nuclear power plant should be allowed to press buttons because he likes the lights and colors. Only, one day, that monkey's far descendants might evolve to a point where they can grasp the workings of a nuclear plant. Whereas these things... are not for man.

Your fortune: （　´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ

>>70579344
you people don't get it.

They're not really clones. They're fruit!

That's why they die in two weeks, and they "ferment" before their death. They're fruit. People fruit!

>>70579566
no, i get it, im just the kind of guy that begs for the "I told you so" SHTF moments, but then again, im overly prepared for them

Your fortune: Outlook good

PEOPLE FRUIT

Your fortune: （　´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ

>>70579890
this begs the question...

do fruit have souls?

>>70580116
bigger the berries the sweeter the juice? XD

Your fortune: Very Bad Luck

>>70580296
nom nom nom

Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail

think about this, use the gender switcher thing, clone yourself with the tree, switch back, and fuck the shit out of yourself for two weeks!

>>70581051
believe me that had occurred to me
):

Anyone know wtf is going on in this thread?

Your fortune: Outlook good

>>70579566
You can't know this. The Ark of the Covenant is more than just a golden box. It's contents are more than just the dust of stone tablets and wooden staffs. As with every item here, these things work according to rules and laws we do not yet understand - even storing them is difficult. They are not safe because we don't know how they work or how they got here.

Sure, your monkey-mind sees a tree and something growing from it, and does what its fungivore instincts tell it to do: "take, and eat." Your overclocked monkey-mind realizes you can get a woman from the tree, and jumps at the opportunity. And perhaps you are safe! Many of these items do not harm unthinking animals. But none of them discern between "human" and "human acting like a monkey."

One does not discover an unexploded hydrogen bomb and jump for joy that it would make a great end-table for the living room, or the red "armed" button would make a great night-light, or the strange warmth emanating from within could replace central heating.

Your fortune: Excellent Luck

>>70581369
PEOPLE FRUIT!

>>70544932
this is really hard to read while listening to Natural Born Killaz.

>>70581593

He's got you there.

Your fortune: Outlook good

>>70581369
internets srs business

>>70581369
well, while anon is off yelling incoherently about "poeple fruit" (lol), i have to give judos on the philisophical mother fuckers on /b/ tonight

I dont get this.

I hate you, Joe.

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

>>70581881
judos?

also, PEOPLE FRUIT!

>>70581881

best typo evar considering i just imagined a dude running around karate chopping fools

Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again

>>70582184
thank you for that visual representation.

i am now rofling

>>70582184
I lol'd heartily

also, PEOPLE FRUIT IS NOW A MEME

>>70582357

Shit, me too.

I think Imma go out and give judos to random people on the street nao.

Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail

>>70582451
PEOPLE FRUIT!

>>70582451

What, you mean like faggots?

Pic not related.

>>70582801
Like you?

PEOPLE FRUIT

Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again

>>70582801
PEOPLE FRUIT

>>70582451

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

>>70581820
Consider: what if this tree has something to do with the Abrahamic legend of the Two Trees? One, the source of Knowledge, the other the source of Eternal Life. In their various holy books they do not mention the nature of the Tree of Eternal Life - meaning, this thing could be it, as its supernatural effects could be interpreted that way.

Realize that Tree was given a guardian - one of the Seraphim, the apex of the angelic hierarchy of the same order as Lucifer. As if that wasn't enough it is written to be armed "with a flaming sword that turns every way."

If this is that Tree or one of its kin I want nothing to do with it. And god help you if it is a twisted, demonic corruption of a divine miracle of that magnitude.

Your fortune: （　´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ

hi, i'm writing NIGGER in every thread

NIGGER!!!

Your fortune: Better not tell you now

>>70583120
Hi, you must be new here. I'd like to point out that this is /b/, and that beneath the board title it notes "The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."

Now we all realize that this is of course all fiction and are trying to have a little fun imagining disposable sex slaves, and you keep trying to ruin it Mr. Srs Business, wikipedia is that way --->

Also, PEOPLE FRUIT!

>>70583120
doubtful considering there is no record of a flaming sword turning every which way. these people seem pretty thorough with their results and a scimitar on fire protruding from an apple tree would probably be the first thing they'd notice

Your fortune: Better not tell you now

>>70583127
I don't know why, but this is one of the funniest things I've seen all night. With the exception of giving judos to people and PEOPLE FRUIT!

>>70583120
>>70583659
also if you meant seraphim was armed with the sword you probably shouldnt have called seraphim an 'it'

Your fortune: Bad Luck

>>70583588
Spiritual horror is fun too. For me obviously its more fun than LOL SEX SLAVES. :]

>>70583659
I still don't know what it is, and just because I'm not instantly killed doesn't make it safe. XD

The sauce
http://editthis.info/scp_wiki/SCP_Series

im just saying.....

PEOPLE FRUIT!

Your fortune: Average Luck

>>70584008
I didn't called the Seraph an "it." If I did it would be no problem, as even when vaguely humanoid they're rarely assigned a gender. (See: the insane delusions in the Book of Isaiah.) When I used the phrase "it is written," that's shorthand for "the following is written in my holy book of choice" in the Abrahamic tradition.

I was reading through SCP-097 and got to thinking...
What if you were to put 2 coins, one before and after the date, in at the same time?

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

>>70584779
I tried to access the SCP labelled God, (343). I thought you might get a kick out of it.

My personal fave so far has been 616, oh and of course PEOPLE FRUIT!

Your fortune: Better not tell you now

>>70585089
Nigger would whistle negro spirituals whilst raeping a white woman.

>>70584779
i was just saying when using 'it' after using a sentence that referred to a tree and another sentence that referred to a named being, im going to assume 'it' refers to the tree

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

you people and your silly pronoun antecedent dickery!

can't we all just PEOPLE FRUIT!

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

>>70585246
You can't arm a tree with a sword, dude.

>>70585657

YEA CAUSE THAT WOULD BE JUST TOO ABNORMAL

Your fortune: Godly Luck

Item #: SCP-300

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures:

Item SCP-300 cannot be contained. It is left to wander. All observation to this point has shown that it will not venture farther than 10 meters from the first point of discovery. SCP-300 was discovered in an impact crater on October 26th 2001. The crater has a radius of 15 meters.

Any attempts at containment have proved futile. When a test subject attempts to touch the item, they cease to exist. Any and all electronic records of them cease to exist. Nothing remains that proves the test subject ever existed. An attempt to place housing over the crater resulted in a similar effect. All personnel on site that day were erased from reality. Scientist [EXPUNGED] has speculated that they were erased on a quantum level.

Description:

SCP-300 is an orb of an unknown material. It is visually identical to obsidian. Attempts to test its composition have, obviously, failed. It rolls gently around but does little else. Upon approach the orb vibrates slightly.

Agents who have been in the crater with the item report a sense of overwhelming joy and euphoria. Long term effects are completely unknown at this time. Further study will be conducted.

Addendum [SCP-300a]: New studies have confirmed that the subjects truly are gone. Memory is the only form that seems to be unaffected by the object. It is, however, impossible to tell if the test subjects ever existed in the first place. More studies to be conducted.

Your fortune: Good Luck

>>70585803
my 5th godly luck in this thread...

Nothing to see here gentlemen....

>>70549181
>>Item SCP-627 is believed to be part of a "training course" for employees of Site 3-A. It is a metallic cube-like object approximately 1.5 cubic meters in volume.
>>Subjects approaching SCP-627 report that it appears to be sentient and capable of speech. Many find it nearly impossible to separate themselves from it and must be forcibly removed from the area. Some subjects are able to recover from this; many are drawn into a sort of depression, as though they have lost a beloved companion.

The Enrichment Center wishes to assure you that the Weighted Companion Cube cannot speak.

Your fortune: Excellent Luck

http://tinyurl.com/3w9arj

??

>>70584682

That's all I've got to say.

Your fortune: （　´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ

>>70586180
PEOPLE FRUIT

>>70586426
OH GOD PLEASE SOMEONE MAKE A PICTURE FOR PEOPLE FRUIT


WHAT HAVE I CREATED?!

also, i am the one responsible for the "judos" typo... you all think its a typo though... lol

Your fortune: Average Luck

Item #: SCP-315

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Item SCP-315 is to be kept at temperature 10°K in all scenarios. SCP-315 must be out of range of all personnel in a 400 meter radius. SCP-315 must be transported by a UAV and must always be contained in at least 8 meters of lead or preferably einsteinium. (See 'UAV' in Section 4-722# 4 of the Systematic Quarantine field guide.) Failure to comply with the containment regulations above will result in quarantine and immediate termination of all subjects in immediate or secondhand contact with SCP-315.

Optional

Addendum: Those with Level J Class-7 Security Clearance should see document ##315-284


Document #315-284:
(Interaction with SCP-315 on discovery. )
"Mr. ||||||||||||| of |||||||||||||||||||||| contacted us over the telephone and now everyone in the support offices is starting to feel dizz... (*background*) 'Oh God! Oh Jesus Lord! Oh!' (*intangible screams*) (*intangible splatters and slops*) Oh shit! Everyone out! (*loud metal-on-metal*) (*generic UCS alarm*) (*multiple parasitic sound*) (*fuzz*)"__End_Transmission_

After the security camera footage was analyzed, it showed intangible vibrant spectrum fluctuations and then black.

(edit)

Camera footage was analyzed.
Video footage shows evidence of 485205 offspring of SCP-315 total generated by deaths and implosures of subjects exposed to the operator's office. 485192 offspring of SCP-315 total are now in UCS posession. 13 offspring of SCP-315 are unaccounted for.

Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again

Item # SCP-363
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Item SCP-363 must be kept in a large enough cell to accommodate its size as well as SCP-360, SCP-361 and SCP-362s (See enclosed Document 56B for details), currently located in Cell 82. Subjects prefer an environment with simulated wind. As a result, the electric fan enclosed in Cell 82 is to be on for 5 hrs. during any given day. Subjects are generally docile and can usually be approached by 1 - 3 personnel at once.
Upon entering Cell 82 SCP 360, 361 and 362 may become amorous, attempting to make physical contact with personnel. Accepted response is to smile and bow one's head.
PERSONNEL ARE ADVISED NEVER TO ATTEMPT TO INDULGE IN PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES WITH SCP 360, 361 AND/OR 362
Description: Discovered in Royal Prussia, February 1454 during the Thirteen Years' War in the city of Gda�sk. It has never been seen without SCP-360, 361 and 362. Horns resembling tree branches sprout from its head, which lacks in a lower jaw. Body has a silky texture and is usually covered in a red substance which resembles string. Red flower-like items seep regularly from its 'mouth' and seem to have some kind of connection with the branches on its head. The small wings on its back suggest it was once able to achieve flight. 4 goat-like ears also appear on its back with gold hoops pierced into the lower parts. Tears on ears suggest it once had more. Cloth 'shoes' seem to be attached permanently to feet. Bandages on head are not to be removed or touched in any way.
Enclosed Documents: Copy of Document SCP-360,361 and 362./Excerpt 978
Addendum 1: Other than its appearance, SCP-363 appears to possess no anomalous characteristics or really anything of merit. Recommend for termination.
Addendum 2: Judging from its response to attempted termination, it does warrant further study.

Item #: SCP-315

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Item SCP-315 is to be kept at temperature 10°K in all scenarios. SCP-315 must be out of range of all personnel in a 400 meter radius. SCP-315 must be transported by a UAV and must always be contained in at least 8 meters of lead or preferably einsteinium. (See 'UAV' in Section 4-722# 4 of the Systematic Quarantine field guide.) Failure to comply with the containment regulations above will result in quarantine and immediate termination of all subjects in immediate or secondhand contact with SCP-315.

Optional

Addendum: Those with Level J Class-7 Security Clearance should see document ##315-284

Document #315-284:
(Interaction with SCP-315 on discovery. )
"Mr. ||||||||||||| of |||||||||||||||||||||| contacted us over the telephone and now everyone in the support offices is starting to feel dizz... (*background*) 'Oh God! Oh Jesus Lord! Oh!' (*intangible screams*) (*intangible splatters and slops*) Oh shit! Everyone out! (*loud metal-on-metal*) (*generic UCS alarm*) (*multiple parasitic sound*) (*fuzz*)"__End_Transmission_

After the security camera footage was analyzed, it showed intangible vibrant spectrum fluctuations and then black.

Your fortune: Bad Luck

>>70586996
hey! I started PEOPLE FRUIT!

>>70579566 is me!

Addendum: Camera footage was analyzed.
Video footage shows evidence of 485205 offspring of SCP-315 total generated by deaths and implosures of subjects exposed to the operator's office. 485192 offspring of SCP-315 total are now in UCS posession. 13 offspring of SCP-315 are unaccounted for.

>>70587427

>SCP-173

>SCP-1

>SCP

>CP

YES!

>>70587582
not the people fruit thing but just the typo. people fruit is just kinda everyone cuz we all had our reasons and wants and doubts about the damned tree thing

http://www.editthis.info/scp_wiki/SCP_Series

most interesting fake Area 51-type documents evar

Your fortune: Average Luck

>>70588103
judos to you!

>>70588023

so obviously this pic didnt come with that article since all the hoop earrings are there. what mythilogical beast is that thing?

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

Item #: SCP-404

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures:

SCP-404 is to be kept in Section Alpha-1 of the Documents Repository. Any movement of SCP-404 beyond Section Alpha-1 will result in termination.

Description:

A large manila envelope with a sign-out grid stamped on the front in black ink. Ink has been dated to 1833, ±10 years; Folder dated to 1834, ±10 years. Many signatures are noted on the grid, notably those of former Document Repository Administrators ████████ ( dated ████), ███ (dated ████), and ██████████ (dated ████).

Contained inside SCP-404 are 1623 documents and 452 photographs, organized into 18 groups, some paper clipped or stapled, others bound. All lines of text on these documents are blacked out. Over time, several documents have changed into readable text, showing us different documents relating to past and future events, and in one instance, that of a SCP (SCP-███████) not yet in our possession. Documents that have revealed themselves have been moved into lock box ███-█ of Documents Repository Section ████-██, to prevent knowledge of future events from influencing the present. (Summary of documents deemed accessible are attached)

Your fortune: Bad Luck

>>70588584
Document #404-A30: September 11, 2001 (First revealed September 11, 1991)

(Entire text of document is still blacked. A single gritty photograph of burning towers in an unknown location has been revealed.)

Document #404-C02.1: Assumed to be November 23, 2010 (Paper has been blank since envelope first opened)

Document appears to be a newspaper, however it is entirely blank and carries a note paper clipped to it: Team dispatched to prevent this - R.X.K., November 13, 2008.

Document #404-C02.2: November 23, 2010 (First revealed November 14, 2008)

Document found behind document #404-C02.1, and appears to be identical to said document, except that it is a normal newspaper

OMFG, what have I started?

All I wanted was a cloning-tree for an endless supply of hawt females...

People fruit.

Your fortune: Very Bad Luck

>>70588550
actually it did come with the article...just the anon who posted the article was lazy and didn't post the pic.

>>70588392
and people fruit to you, my friendly anon!

suddenly i wish i had the pic of the pear that says "LOL WUT" to add upon people fruit...


PEOPLE FRUIT

Your fortune: Excellent Luck

>>70588672
hawt female people fruit!

>>70588775
http://docboogie.wordpress.com/strange-human-shaped-fruit-grows-on-nareepol-tree-in-thailand/

Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again

thread must be archived for great justice!

>>70588828

Your fortune: Bad Luck

>>70588868
bricks shat...

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

>>70588868
PEOPLE FRUIT!

>>70589054
I was trying to post that pic for 15 minutes and It wouldn't let me.

people fruit??

Your fortune: （　´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ

>>70589320
lol

>>70589054
OMFG THANK YOU!! LOL

CAP LOCKS FTW!

PEOPLE FRUIT!!!11!!!!!1!!!1!/?!/?!/1?!!?

>>70588868

fruit my ass. where's the video of someone eating some of this "fruit"? They're just carvings or some shit hanging from a tree.

Security Clearance Document#: JLO-469

Object Class: Hispanic

Special Containment Procedures: Item JLO-469 is to be kept contained in the kitchen or bedroom at all times. If JLO-469 is discovered attempting to escape from designated areas, open sealed container: 'Jack Daniels' and follow instructions inside.

Description: JLO-469 was relocated to current location in 2006. Origin is unknown. Assumed alien. Physical composition is similar to human tissue, but can at times appear stony cold, flaming hot, or bloated and pissy. In the event of a bloated and pissy JLO-469, approach with extreme caution. Using chocolate ice cream and books by Nicholas Sparks as lures, contain JLO-469 in the nearest bathroom. If initial attempts fail, call your buddy Frank or other class D personnel for assistance.

Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again

>>70589765
rofl

Item #: SCP-493

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-493 cannot be contained by physical means, but may be kept busy when SCP-493's common name is repeated by an audio device securely attached to the floor. Under these circumstances, SCP-493 will continually attempt to tie said audio device to a chair. Under no circumstances should any personnel utter SCP-493's common name. Failure to comply will result in that personnel becoming a captive of SCP-493. See Addendum 493-01.

Description:
SCP-493 appears to have human form, with a white sheet draped over its body. It may or may not be carrying a rope with it, though it always has a lit candle. To this date, victims of SCP-493 include 12 Site 19 personnel, 11 of which were captured in a SCP-493 chain. See Addendum 493-01.

Addendum 493-01: Anyone in the vicinity of a personnel repeating SCP-493's common name may repeat the phrase "You're not supposed to say ██████████!" If this should happen, please see Addendum 493-01.

Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail

>>70589765
The scariest thing I've read itt.

Just in case this thread 404's:

>>70590202

Your fortune: Better not tell you now

>>70590160
rofl.

one problem though. The file is clearly named candlejack, and you were able to finish your post without him coming to kidn

>>70590460
Oh damn, see this is why candlejack deserves to be a SCP item. He's so hard to cont

Your fortune: Good Luck

>>70590553
Christ, he's just a frikkin ghost, cardboard box with audio recording of his name over and over should do the trick. Safe imo.

>>70590553
well, see this is the problem... you gotta make sure the damn recording saying candlejack's name is sec

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

Item #: SCP-432

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-432 is to remain in a locked container at all times. Personnel are permitted to enter the container one at a time during the following intervals - 0732-0813, 1012-1017, 1237-1345, 1815-1816, 2328-2359. At no other time are any personnel permitted entrance; failure to comply will result in immediate termination if the violation does not result in either madness or death.

All personnel entering the container must maintain the following protocol:

A helmet with a blacked out visor must be worn; this helmet will be official issue. Failure to comply will result in immediate termination if the violation does not result in either madness or death.
All instruments and clothing that enter the container must be destroyed upon completion of work; failure to comply will result in immediate termination and severe criminal charges if any negligence is found.
The container must be secured and externally monitored for any abnormalities by a second, trained staff member with SCL of at least level 2.
If any abnormalities are detected, the observing staff member must notify the commanding officer and not unlock the container under any circumstance. Class 4 containment protocol should be followed at all times.
Data harvesting must only occur during the interval of 1237-1345. All other intervals are too short to obtain any meaningful information and should only be used to monitor for noticeable changes in the environment or the object. Any data gathered during any other interval should be immediately discarded as it has proven to be inaccurate.

The container must be kept under constant video and audio surveillance to confirm stasis in the environment and to prevent unauthorized access.

Your fortune: Bad Luck

>>70590814
>>70590553
>>70590460
See, this is why we go through so many class D personnel.

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

>>70590877
Description: Moved to site Alpha 45B. SCP-432 is of indeterminate origin and size. It is unclear whether or not the object is hostile. All attempts to videotape, photograph or otherwise analyze the object have returned conflicting data. Current reports show that its texture appears to be a mixture of wood, flesh and concrete, is roughly circular, malleable and hot to the touch.

The object appears to desire the gaze of any and all creatures that enter the container. Outside of the prescribed intervals, it is able to coerce any living being to look at it through some method of subliminal communication. No animal or human that has entered the container outside of these intervals has survived. During the intervals, no suggestion appears to be present, but the visor appears to be necessary to limit any temptation or accident. Any traces of the object left on any instrument have the same deleterious effect as the object itself, so any instrument or piece of clothing used in analysis must be destroyed upon exit. A medical examination to determine sanity is manditory for all personnel who come into contact with the object.

>>70589765
>>70589880
>>70590160
>>70590266
>>70590460

>>70590553
>>70590787
>>70590814
>>70590877
>>70590922

What happened to people fruit?

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

>>70591024
>>70590877
Effects: Any personnel who look at SCP-432 or its residue develop the following series of symptoms:

1-3 seconds of exposure, shouts of ecstasy and prophecy

4-7 seconds, a declaration about the nature of the godhead

8-10 seconds, a scream of pain

10-15 seconds, a flow of blood from the ears and eyes

16-24 seconds, stroke followed by death

No personnel recovered from the container after this brief exposure have been found sane during the required medical examination. All have requested to look at the object again. Under no circumstance should they be admitted entrance to the container.

Examination of the brains of the deceased have found massive damage to the occipital and temporal lobes.

Your fortune: Better not tell you now

>>70591084
>>70591024
>>70590877
O5 CLEARANCE REQUIRED

All declarations made regarding the future have proved correct and have proven to be an invaluable resource in our current campaigns; if an expendable unit will enter the container, damage his visor beforehand.

>>70590922
A boombox saying "Candlejack candlejack candlejack" is more than enough to keep candlejack busy. Just make sure the batteries don't ru

Your fortune: Bad Luck

LOL this is the funniest BS i've ever read.

Your fortune: Better not tell you now

>>70591178
PEOPLE FRUIT

>>70591062
candlejack happen to the fru

Your fortune: Bad Luck

has this been archived yet?

Well, actually, the people fruit is alive & well in >>70590202

I made a new home for it! :)

Your fortune: Bad Luck

Item#: SCP-435

Object Class: Safe


Special Containment Procedures:

See description.

Euclid?

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

>>70591697
Description:

SCP-435 is transient and can only be found if it is not actively being looked for. The item has not shown any hostility whatsoever towards subjects interacting with it. It was discovered during the construction of an office building on the outskirts of Lawrenceville, Georgia. SCP-435 currently resides inside the building, which has since been completed.

The item has been noted to function in stages. When encountered, SCP-435 stops the person who encountered it from moving. It then reads the person's most recent thought. Should the thought be toward the desire of an object, SCP-435 manifests as something resembling the desired object.

SCP-435 has never appeared twice to the same person nor taken the same form twice. It does not manifest as anything malevolent and it has not been reported to appear as large objects [1]. The item can not be found if it is being actively looked for; however, prior knowledge of it seemingly excludes an individual from finding it.

[Note 1: The largest recorded manifestation of the item to date, a tool chest, measured 6' x 3' x 1.5'. This, obviously, does not imply that SCP-435 couldn't appear as something larger.]

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

>>70591697
>>70591764
Addendum:

Those with Level 2 Security Clearance or higher should see Document #435-A.

Document #435-A: Item Oddities

The item has not been encountered in over two years. This could be due to it returning to its own plane, or due to general staff knowledge leading to them semi-conciously searching for it. Active testing of SCP-435 is impossible to carry out due to the nature of the encounter circumstances.


Selective list of manifestations to date:

A chicken flavored ham sandwich
One gallon of grape flavored orange sherbet
A 9-year old girl (it has been determined that the last thought of the subject at the time had been toward futanari)
An A-track tape of 2002's Nellyville by the artist Nelly
The valet key for a 1962 Shelby Cobra (the car to which the key goes is yet to be found)
A Christmas Bonus (a piece of paper with the words "Christmas Bonus" typed across it 972 times)

epic.

Item#: SCP-974

Object Class: Safe

>>70591426
Archived, pending mods.

Your fortune: Godly Luck

>>70591971
yes. ty anon.

PEOPLE FRUIT!

bump

Your fortune: Godly Luck

>>70591172
>>70590460
>>70590553
>>70590814
Further Class D personnel are not to be instructed as to the given name of SCP-493. That information is to be limited to Level 2-493 personnel with the specific instruction that it is not to be said aloud by them at any time, as well as the standard Level 2 safety regulations. (At no point are level O5 level persons to have access to the given name of SCP-493; contingent planning is currently underway to attempt to rid all human records, both digital computer storage and antique libraries, of this given name.)

Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again

http://www.editthis.info/scp_wiki/Guidelines_and_Caveats

Biggest sign of BULLSHIT.

someone archive this

>>70581369

> ark of the covenant
> laws and rules u dont understand

lol. liviticus?!? ....maybe?
(did i spell it wrong?)

>>70592116
hey... i just thought of something in regards to the containment of said item...

how do you make the recording in the firstplace if you cant say candleja

>>70590202

Welcome to the People Fruit Garden.

Your fortune: Better not tell you now

SCP-455

Item #455

Special Containment Procedures:


Object #455 cannot be moved or contained in any structure. Containment must be made on site. No exploration or testing is to be made on or in #455. No personnel are to to remain in close proximity for more then five minutes. All physical contact with #455 is forbidden, any personnel breaking this order are to be quarantined.

Any hallucinations experienced near #455 are to be recorded and logged. Any personnel experiencing hallucinations are to be transfered. Any personnel attempting to enter #455 are to be restrained by any means deemed necessary.


Description:


Object #455 is a large cargo ship currently run aground on the southern coast of Chile. Most of it's structure is underwater and badly damaged, with rust coating 85 to 90 percent of all surfaces. Internal structure appears to be significantly larger then external dimensions, and is not flooded despite large holes visible on outer hull.

Internal structure appears to be a random assembly of rooms, halls and structures. Initial salvage teams reported rooms made of human teeth, a engine with tendon strips for timing belts, a hall extending for six hundred feet beyond where the outer hull should terminate, a open "gym" room with steel walls as pliant as taffy, and numerous audio and visual hallucinations. Team was lost after reporting entry to "central navigation." Rescue team lost after reporting the investigation of "screaming" in a cargo section.

Your fortune: Outlook good

thread is tl;dr in case it hasn't been linked
http://editthis.info/scp_wiki/SCP_Series

Your fortune: Average Luck

>>70592120
Who are you and what are you doing in my supernatural horror thread.

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

>>70592317
have someone expendable say it into a recorder,

then retrieve the recorder once they've been taken.

o.<

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

>>70592514
lol PEOPLE FRUIT

>>70592536

And this is why /b/tards will be the only survivors of a nuclear apocalypse.

>>70592536
i guess thats how you determine Class D and Class "anything-fucking-else"

Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again

This is so epic

Security Clearance Document #: SCP-1

Object Class: Echo

SCP-1 refers to the purpose of flux modulation stations Alpha, Gamma, and Theta, located at grid marks xxxx.xx-xxxx.xx, xxxx.xx-xxxx.xx, and xxxx.xx-xxxx.xx. The triangulated area between these relay stations is to be kept under class Z observation. Under no circumstances are the following protocol to be breached:

1. Cessation of class Z observation.
2. Cessation of modulation function of stations Alpha, Gamma, or Theta.
3. Entry of any object xxcm-xxcm-xxcm or greater in volume into the area.
4. Class x wipes of modulation station personnel nervous systems on a strict xxhr basis.
5. Direct communication between modulation stations and Pinion.

Breach of one or more above protocols will result in:

1. Launch of Colony Ship Erasmus.
2. Execution of directive xxx-x.

To be effective immediately,

POTUS is not to be made aware of these actions under such circumstances. SCP-1 is considered a potential Class x event, which would necessitate the IMMEDIATE AND UNFAILING attainment of a position xxAUs from Earth. Such an operation would require the undistracted attention of Unit xx, which cannot function in such a manner should POTUS, or any lesser unqualified personnel, become aware of SCP-1.

In the event that an anomaly is detected during the execution of 1 & 2, Drs. xxxxxx and xxxx are to be consulted before any further actions are taken. Afterward Unit x should be notified to perform the terminations of these individuals.

Should

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

>>70592820
PEOPLE FRUIT

i swear, as i'm reading this, i'm hearing some strange ass noises, sounds like its coming from close by, should i stop?

timemachineclock@gmail.com

>>70593414
Something I picked up from XKCD: whenever someone uses the format "(adjective)-ass (noun)" I mentally move the hyphen one word pair to the right.
>>i swear, as i'm reading this, i'm hearing some strange ass noises, sounds like its coming from close by, should i stop?
BECOMES
i swear, as i'm reading this, i'm hearing some strange ass-noises, sounds like its coming from close by, should i stop?

>>70593414

Nope... You're almost there.

Your fortune: （　´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ

Item#: SCP-517

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-517's containment is fairly straightforward. It will be content in a plain rectangular chamber, so long as chamber is at least 25 m x 25m x 10m. Walls, ceiling and floor are to be reinforced with steel plate at least 14 cm thick, and two heavy machine gun emplacements must be trained on the creature continuously. Any significantly anomalous behavior is to be met with sustained machine gun fire, which is to continue until SCP-517 is unconscious. The creature will become agitated and begin to damage its container if it is not given at least 60 kg fresh meat daily. It is not affected by dehydration, hypoxia, temperature extremes, electrical current, or any known toxin or biological agent. It can be subdued only by massive cranial trauma or blood loss, and then only temporarily. It is strongly advised that all dealings with SCP-517 be automated so as to avoid further casualties, which have been considerable to date. Under no circumstances are personnel to enter the container, with the exception of D-level personnel.

Description: SCP-517 is a large, carnivorous, bipedal animal of indeterminate origin, roughly 4.5 m in height and weighing approximately 600 kg. Its appearance is a hybrid of several mammalian species. The creature has four long, apelike arms, one pair behind the other. All digits have retractable claws some 8cm in length. The legs appear mostly ursine. The creature has a long muscular tail, which is generally used for balance while walking. The head is vaguely feline, with powerful jaws and large, forward-set eyes, although it also sports two pairs of gazelle-like horns. The creature's entire body is covered in sleek black fur, which has exhibited significant flame-retardant properties.

>>70593414
Do you have a Frequential Mechanism? If not...you're fucked.

Your fortune: Better not tell you now

>>70593851
SCP-517 is extremely dangerous due to its great speed, strength, plethora of natural weapons and extraordinary resistance to injury. It will attack every living organism in sight in a seemingly mindless rage. This berserk state, however, is not without strategy; the creature can instantly incorporate any available weapon into its tactics, suggesting either high intelligence or an instinctual understanding of the dynamics of combat and prompting serious questions about its origins. When not engaged in feeding or combat, SCP-517 will either sit quietly or pace slowly within its container as if waiting for further violent diversion.

The earliest record of SCP-517's existence is an incident in which the creature slaughtered and consumed the better part of a small town in [DATA EXPUNGED] over the course of several weeks. The creature was subdued and captured after being shot eight times with an XM500 Barrett .50 caliber rifle. The final shot was the only one observed to have any real effect, impacting the base of the skull and putting the creature into a shallow coma. The creature's unconsciousness lasted longer than the wounds themselves, which healed completely in a matter of minutes. The creature apparently suffered no permanent loss of brain function from this injury.

Current research is focused primarily on duplicating SCP-517's abilities, as it is unlikely that we will ever be able to truly control the beast.

>>70593854
lolwut?

>>70593720
no i mean it sounds like the sounds are coming from my ass, i think its the chair but i'm not sure

THEN WHO WAS FRUIT?!11!!!!???

>>70594008
Ass noises? Oh. You're safe. Just stop eating so much taco-bell or [insert food product made by immigrant workers here]

Your fortune: Average Luck

>>70594236
PEOPLE!

Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again

Item #: SCP-566

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: See note #566-04.

Description: See note #566-04.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Note #566-04: (Administrator ██████ ██████████) SCP-219 seems to be erasing virtually all memories and records associated with it. Although we've experienced similar effects with SCP-███ and SCP-███, in this case we've lost three personnel, who have walked into the middle of an empty room on floor ██, which I believe to be SCP-219's containment chamber. This, along with other incidents we don't know about, makes this situation far more dire than a simple nuisance. To ensure safety until a way to research SCP-219 is developed, I elect that a purely clockwork machination be built to enact security and upkeep procedures, at least as soon as anyone can remember what those procedures are.

Note #566-13: (Administrator ████████) If anyone has any research notes or belongings of "Administrator ██████ ██████████", report them to me, along with any information on who exactly ██████ was.

Note #566-18: A recently discovered carved marble slab indicates that this object was once contained at SCP Site A113. However, no record of such a site exists.

lol whut

>>70593854
pulls up nothing on google or wiki when i search, and i has strong google-fu

>>70594775
They control the net.

Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

muh luck?

>>70595043
They as in... the clintons?

Your fortune: Excellent Luck

>>70595191
no the gores.

>>70595265
does that mean man-bear-pig is on this list?

Your fortune: Average Luck

>>70595463
and global warming.

>>70595520
lawl, atleast now i know i can sleep safely

>>70595299

PEOPLE FRUIT!

>>70594775
Knowing that you know is enough to revoke protection. All talk of F-Mechs as well as all other dimensional frequency altering devices. Organisms and artifacts that may appear via such use of classified means should also be rendered irrelevant conversation topics for yours, as well as my protection. As a fellow observer like yourself, I would hereby appreciate if all leaked and fraudulent "Security Clearance Documents" were by here on out forgotten. Pay no mind to these... claims. Thank you.

this thread still creeps me out though

Your fortune: Godly Luck

>>70595520
and PEOPLE FRUIT

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

OP is a pretty good writer.

Your fortune: （　´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ

>>70596016
also, PEOPLE FRUIT!

Knowing that you know is enough to revoke protection. I strongly advise all talk of F-Mechs as well as all other dimensional frequency altering devices, ceases at this moment. Organisms and artifacts that may appear via such use of classified means should also be rendered irrelevant conversation topics for yours, as well as my protection. As a fellow observer like yourself, I would hereby appreciate if all leaked and fraudulent "Security Clearance Documents" were by here on out forgotten. Pay no mind to these... claims. Thank you.

goddamnit you faggots the wiki went down

Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail

>>70596317
i know I'm pretty upset by it. I was almost done reading all of them.

oh well...PEOPLE FRUIT!

>>70596317
Thank you for thinking this way. You our doing a loyal service to humanity.
>>70596016
All the better to protect us.

Your fortune: Very Bad Luck

why crash thewiki for?

Your fortune: Bad Luck

>>70596697
I imagine it was probably an accident, caused by the massive level of interest this thread generated. An unintentional raid, as it were.

Also, PEOPLE FRUIT

Related Message Log.

Transcript of Discussion between Mr.████ (342A) and Dr. ████████ (611D)

*611D: The breach of the containment field would necessitate immediate action on our part
*342A: Agreed.
*611D: How do you recommend we proceed?
*342A: I say we take off, nuke the site from orbit.
*342A: It's the only way to be sure

WHAT

---

THE

--

FUCK

--

IS

--

GOING

--

ON?!

Your fortune: Good Luck

>>70596856
PEOPLE FRUIT!

Bad ass viral marketing is bad ass

Your fortune: Good Luck

good fucking thread /b/.

now I'm never going to sleep

>>70595851
Quality.

>>70596842

Ah come on... don't be plagiarising lines from 80's sci fi films fool.

thread fukken saved

>>70597736
mhtml?

Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail

>>70597736
fuck yeah! People fruit!

So how bout that new x-files movie coming out?

>>70597859
I CAME

Your fortune: （　´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ

PEOPLE FRUIT

>>70585803

Addendum [SCP-300b]: After further investigation, it was discovered that any physical written records of the victims that disappeared have vanished as well. Copies of birth certificates, and driver licenses in the central office have gone missing as well. When any personnel who ever knew, or came into contact with the victims is questioned about them, they distinctively remember that person, what they looked like, and even things like what the color of their shirt was the last time they met. Questioned subjects have, at times, admitted that they feel as though they remember the victim in question too well.

Addendum [SCP-300c]: Even without records, investigators managed to locate the biological mother of one of the victims. The widow mother, Mrs. █████, spent several hours talking about her only child, Dr. █████ █████. In detail she spoke about his life growing up, his achievements, and what he looked like growing up. Mrs. █████ is suffering from severe late stage alzheimer, and is currently under assisted living. At times she mistook one of the questioners for her late husband.

When ask to see any photos of her son, she explained the fact that she seem to have misplaced them, even though she distinctively remembered having many picture of her son. A complete search of her apartment was made, and still no physical documents, or photos of Dr. █████ █████ where found.

Your fortune: Average Luck

Item #: SCP-927

Object Class: Keter/Apollyon

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-927 is to be kept as far away from Site 19 as possible. The items contained at Site 19 could lead to the spontaneous detonation of SCP-927. Under no circumstances may SCP-927 come into contact with SCP-019 or be brought to Site 62. SCP-927 is to be kept in a [EXPUNGED]. This underground facility is to be policed at all hours by no less than twenty Omicron Class Defense Marshals.

Description: Item SCP-927 was recovered in a temporal leak that occurs between 2008 and 2019 as a result of the completion of the Large Hadron Collider after years of setbacks. [EXPUNGED]. The collider fails to complete its intended task and causes the aforementioned time leak instead. In the ensuing chaos, many items crossed between time periods and one of the items left on our side was an explosive device created with the by-products of the hadron experiments. It appears as an [EXPUNGED] with self-radiating black light.

Reference Document: SCP Personnel Hazardous Materials and Explosive Devices Disposal Protocol Handbook

Addendum: (added 4/2/2008 by C9-YT-K111; still awaiting final approval) Some of the SCP staff believe that the previously existing content on SCP-927 does not stress the dire extremity of our situation. Any disturbance of the device could detonate the device and create a supermassive black hole. The end of all existence as we know it is obviously cause to enact our ESCP [EXPUNGED].

fucking LHC

Your fortune: Good Luck

lol @ copy pasta

>>70598518
PEOPLE FRUIT!

Great Copy Pasta actually.

Your fortune: Very Bad Luck

Item# SCP-014

Object Class: Safe


SCP-014Special Containment Procedures: 014’s holding cell is to remain locked at all times. Personnel of sufficient clearance (as determined by facility administrator) may be admitted to view 014 after submitting a formal request in advance. Anyone handling SCP-014 needn’t take any special precautions, though common sense dictates that one should wash their hands afterwards.

Appearance: SCP-014 takes the form of an antique dinner fork, well worn, and as near as can be estimated, not cleaned since the 1890’s. The object is fashioned from the electroplated nickel-silver typical of the suspected period of its manufacture and the rightmost tine is bent slightly outward. Brown stains and mold adorn the prongs and the pits of the decorative parts of the handle. Analysis of this material seems to indicate that SCP-014 was last used on some form of beef.

SCP-014 was moved to this facility in the early Seventies and seems, for all intents and purposes, to be an entirely mundane dinner fork. If it is possessed of any extra-ordinary qualities, these are known only to those in the very highest echelon of this project’s coordinators, whose representatives assure us that 014 is, quote “Very Important”. Officers who have spent time alone with SCP-014 are unanimous in their appreciation that the object is of great significance (hence its continued presence at this site), though none can quite say why [see >>Testimony of Major ██████ ██████████, February, 1972]. No tests on SCP-014 are authorized. Any personnel observed attempting to compromise 014 in any way are to be terminated on sight.

Your fortune: （　´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ

Item#:SCP-360

Object Class: Keter

Clearance: Any

Description: A hard plastic white monolith with a circle separated into quadrants. SCP-360 was found in a burnt out apartment building and from our tests was the cause of the fire. Pressing the circle on the monolith causes the quadrants to light up green under ideal conditions.

Special Containment Protocol: The containment room must be kept at a constant 10 degrees Celsius with 6 box fans on high directed towards SCP-360. If at any time during research the bottom left most 3 quadrants start to blink red, the agents currently in the room must turn 360 degrees and then walk backwards slowly. Just walking away would cause a logic error on the scale of dividing by zero. Once out of the room have another agent wearing level 4 HAZMAT armor come in to package it up in a "coffin" box and send it off to [EXPUNGED] and then await a replacement in 1-2 weeks.


fucking lol'd hard at this one.

Your fortune: Excellent Luck

>>70600908
PEOPLE FRUIT

>>70585803
>>70599309

Addendum [SCP-300d]: All the documentation of SCP-300's research team is now under 24 hour surveillance by both closed circuit cameras, and 3 Level 4 personnel in rotating shifts.

Addendum [SCP-300e]: We now have more theories on SCP-300's abilities. SCP-300 may not have erased the victims, but simply displaced everyone who knew the victim into another time-space where they never existed, although in all scene of the word should have. Although this still does not explain the disappearance of the containment field.

Addendum [SCP-300f]: Another more disturbing, and plausible, theory is that SCP-300 has injected the memories of these people, and the failed attempt to enclose it into the minds of all the people who "knew" the victims, or "witnessed" the events. We currently have no recorders of the attempt to enclose SCP-300 by the research team anywhere. It may be, that SCP-300 is bending the wills of us all threw the manipulation our thoughts.

Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail

Item#: SCP-743

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-170 is to be kept in a password-locked cabinet at all times. Only those with Level 3 Security Clearance or higher are allowed access to the item, and must be accompanied by at least two additional personnel.

Any personnel found to have eaten the contents of SCP-170 shall be immediately detained and sent to rehabilitation. If subject does not comply, non-lethal force is authorized if necessary to subdue subject.

Description:

SCP-170 is a 1.8 oz/51g bag of Jack Link's teriyaki-flavored beef jerky. The serial number on the bag is 17082-30743.

The bag has the ability to resupply itself with jerky, even after the jerky is completely depleted. The normal time for an empty bag to refill is about 30 minutes.

The jerky found in the bag appears to be highly addictive, despite test showing no physical or chemicals differences from normal jerky. Subjects who have eaten the jerky have described it as the best-tasting jerky they have ever eaten, and all subjects show signs of heavy psychological dependency. MRI scans of subjects who have eaten the jerky have shown extremely high levels of dopamine in the nucleus accumbens and the substantia nigra, areas of the brain associated with addiction. Subjects will become violent if attempts are made to take the jerky away. Subjects experience extreme depression while waiting for the jerky to regenerate.

Your fortune: Better not tell you now

>>70563287

>_<

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

PEOPLE FRUIT!!!

>>70585803

Addendum [SCP-300g]: Research for SCP-300 has now been placed under psychological supervision after recent interrogations about the possibility that the events that transpired around SCP-300 never occurred. Research team members have become hostile, and physically violent during questioning, and until further noticed are to be held in Site 13's medical ward. All personnel who came into contact with the "victims" are to have their monthly performance reports reviewed by a level 2 supervisor. Any abnormalities noticed in these reports are to be reported immediately to the Dr. Keiner.

Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail

these were way better at the start the 360 one made me chuckle and the beef jerkey but it was better when it was plausible

pic unrelated

This is really fucking fascinating holy shit

MOAR.

Wow 6:30 EST I'm impressed

SCP-1023

Object class: Safe

SCP-1023 is currently in a high geocentric orbit of [EXPUNGED]km, at the coordinates of [EXPUNGED]. SCP-1023 is 2.3m circular shaped object. To all appearance, and measurement it appears to be a two dimensional object, with only one side visible. The visible side is a perfectly reflective surface, while the other side is perfectly transparent. Any attempted to measure it's temperature, composition, or volume have come with obvious failure. If any physical object attempts to touch the reflected side of the disk, it passes threw the other side reflected across the infinitely small axis of the disk, with no visible harm to the object. Animal test subjects have gone threw one end, and out the other without any problems. Animal subjects were even held midway between the object with no adverse effects. Attempts to pass threw the transparent side are met without incident. If an object touches the edge of the disk while passing threw, a shearing effect occurs that can cause injury or death.

The object seems to be only influenced by gravitational pulls. Plans to use SCP-037 to move the object into a more stable research site are currently in the planning stages.

Someone needs to write one for (or accounting for) the Saturday Night Live 'Happy Fun Ball.'

I remember being mildly creeped by the line "Happy Fun Ball contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at." Seems like a story which indicates that Happy Fun Ball was a (perhaps self-created?) duplicate of an SCP-xxx item could be fun.

###########ATTENTION###########

This is an administration announcement to all personnel. Please thoroughly review all Security Procedural Documentation for all the cases at your assigned site. Thank you for your concern toward a safe work place.

That is all.

>>70585803
haha, the unbearable lightness of being

Your fortune: Better not tell you now

>>70588023
moar