Steps fom the beach - surrounded by fur

Monday is a busy day, the day when everyone hits the ground running. Because of that, Monday has no idea what to do with itself when there is a Monday holiday. Monday runs to the end of it's chain and barks like a dog who sees a bone just a day away. Monday tries to get the rest of the days of the week to trade places. Monday is the OCD day of the week. With nothing to do, it panics.

Tuesday has to spend quite a bit of energy just helping Monday keep it together. Just to make sure that Monday does not take all that excess energy and injure it self. Which means that when Tuesday dawns, Tuesday is already to exhausted to do anything.

So Tuesday asks Wednesday to come up early so it can rest. But Wednesday use to being hump day, can't handle being the start of the work week. Then Wednesday looks at a calender and realizes that there are fewer Wednesday holidays than any other day of the week. That's when it realizes that Sunday is like a permanent holiday and Wednesday starts to sulk. Waving the calendar over head Wednesday goes to bug Thursday.

Thursday lifts it's head out of the covers, looks to see if it is the fourth Thursday of November yet. Because that is the only Thursday anyone ever pays attention to. If not, back under the covers Thursday goes. Right after calling Friday and telling Friday to pull it's fair weight for once.

Friday jumps up willing to start the party early, only to realize every one is so exhausted from the messed up week that no one sees a reason to celebrate. This confuses the heck out of Friday, and Friday not wanting to party alone stops short to look for Saturday.

Which is why Friday feels like two days instead of one, because both Thursday and Saturday need to get up and keep Friday in line. Which messes Saturday up because it has to find a way to cram in an entire weekends work.

Saturday looks to Sunday to help keep the weekdays in line. But Sunday oh Sunday is so busy to help.


Sunday is resting...

Until the sun goes down and it has to wake up Monday.

To Sandra Novack about her novel. I wanted to tell her how much the book touched me, and how in reading her story I felt a bit of a connection. After all I also have a childhood memory that is both strong and weak. I am not sure if what I remember really happened that way? Yet as the only witness to the accident, is what I remember how it really happened. I have these blocks, areas where I just remember little parts. Like my snow suit wet with something (was it water, pee or blood) I don't know. I remembered a lot of snow, really deep snow. Then one day it occured to me that I was only four, and deep snow to a four year old is annoying to an adult. Even a small one like myself.

Sandy wrote a blog post about memory, how her memory of the day her sister left the family is not quite right. That she remembers it well, but not quite right. I had to write her myself and talk about my memory.

This is what I wrote --

I read the post about your sister leaving home. It reminded me of my own child hood "memory" of the day my 2 year old brother got hit by a mail truck. I was the only witness and at the age of 4 had to tell the police what happened. I wish 48 years later I was able to look at the police report. Because my memories or the day are sparse. My grandmother & aunt (my mother's family) has always blamed me for the accident. I have no idea what happened that day. By the time I was old enough to request the accident report from the police it had already been destroyed. I hope some day your sister finds you. Just as I hope some day to get the answers I seek.

And today she wrote back



Dear Jan,

First: I'm very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been to be so young and to have such a traumatic thing happen. And it's certainly understandable how sketchy memory can be in the wake of difficult events. I hope you don't blame yourself. Accidents can and do happen, and they're no one's fault.

And thank you for your kind words about my sister. I actually thought to write to her at her old work address when I was in my early twenties--about 15 years ago. To my surprise, she still worked at the same place she did when she left home. She won't speak at all to my parents or other siblings, but she did write a few letters to me, explaining. I guess she did that because I was so very young when she left, and in that regard, 'guiltless' to her mind. But then she stopped writing. Last I heard she was going through a divorce and was moving. I don't know what state she's living in now.

So: Closure is a dubious thing, even when you get it...those holes are still all there. :) I guess the best we can sometimes hope for is to be at peace with things, enough anyway.

I wish you all very best.

Sandy

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I have been doing a lot of reading once I got my prescription for Namenda back. I have rolled through all the Southern Vampire books -Sookie Stackhouse.

Spent some time reading up on my favorite subject history in the city of Boston. First I read an old favorite, one I had read as a library book, but was lucky enough to find in a used book store "John Adams" by David McCullough. I also grabbed a paper back copy of "The Boston Italians" by Stephen Puleo. I love his writing and have enjoyed his work. Enjoyed it so much that I purchased "A City so Grand" in hardcover rather than waiting or it to go into paper back. Going to keep my eyes open for his first book "A Dark Tide" which is about the Molasses flood in the North End.

He is a local author, lives in the Boston area. I wonder if he has a web page or a blog? Or maybe does anyone know him, I would love to meet him??? Such a fan girl some times. Except I don't go gaga over singers or actors, I turn into an idiot fan girl over writers. I like fiction writers, get silly around a few. Introduce me to a person who writes about history, ya I'm a puddle.

I'm also reading "Fast Food Nation" by Eric Schlosser, with "Lincoln & Douglas" by Allen Guelzo.

Listening to something scary on the BBC. Apparently Mongolia is seeing a rise in Neo Nazism. Hum, the radio is starting to get static again. I wish I had a better radio one that had a digital dial. This one has a wheel to dial in the station, and it never gets right on the signal. It fades in and out all day. Annoying that.

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