Rated: NC-17
Warning: Character death, strong language, derogatory terms
Disclaimer: S. Cannell owns these characters. Lyrics in the begining owned by 'Tears for Fears'.
Archive: Yes
Comments: Sure!
Copyright: waffles 2/01
Shout,Shout,Let it all out These are the things I can do without…
Hatred. Fucking Hatred. I can do without that. And intolerance.
Faggot. Queer. Homo.
Go ahead. Call me what you fucking want. I'm gay. That's right, gay. I like men. Love one too. Even though he's gone, I still love him. Enough of the 'til death do us part' shit. He's dead and I still love him. Nothing will ever stop that feeling.
That feeling. Way deep down inside. The feeling that you get when you know you love someone. The butterflies in your stomach when you see him, the way your eyes light up when he walks in the room, even down to that gut-wrenching feeling you get when you fight. The feeling like.. 'what if he leaves?'.
Nothing will ever stop that feeling. Or the feelings I had that night. Exactly one year ago tonight, that feeling when my true love was ripped from my world and there was nothing I could do about it but cry and wonder. 'Why the intolerance?'
I'll never forget it. The screaming.. the sirens.. Faggot.. Homo.. Queer.. and the zip of the bag.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Bye! Catch yas later, guys!" The sounds of the patrons in the bar slowly quieted as the heavy wood door shut behind Face and Murdock. All that could be heard now was the muffled sound of the ruckus going on in the bar, and the sound of a car driving by a few blocks away. The rain drizzled down lightly, leaving a thin sheen of droplets on both Face and Murdock's heads.
"Fun time in there, huh Temp? 'Specially like the way you hustled those guys at pool." Murdock grinned and slapped his long time friend and lover on the back. "Never knew you to be a pool shark."
"H.M., I am a jack of all trades." Face smiled back at Murdock and flashed him his trademark smile. "And a master of all."
"Master of none." Murdock corrected.
"Excuse me, H.M.?" Face replied, question filling his voice.
"Master of none. Jack of all trades, master of none. That’s the quote." Murdock said matter of factly.
Face rolled his eyes. "I know, HM. Just making a joke."
Murdock smiled. "Yeah, I know, Muchacho, just tellin' ya the saying." Murdock tousled Face's damp hair, and drew him into a big bear hug. He held his lover close and squeezed him tight. "I'm so lucky I have you, Temp. You know me. And you get me too. Not many people can claim that!"
Face raised his head to speak, but his words were cut off as a car speed by, the passenger screaming out the window. "HEY BLONDIE, WHO'S THE GIRLFRIEND? THAT YOUR FAGGOT FRIEND?"
Face and Murdock spun around to watch as the car sped by, nearly being hit by a beer can being thrown out the window of the offending car. Murdock pulled away from Face and started towards the car.
"Murdock!" Face shouted after him. He sighed and caught up to Murdock and grabbed the back of his jacket. "Slow down, buddy. Don't waste your time on them."
"What?" Murdock looked at Face. "Don't waste my time? Tem, why do they have such a problem?"
"I don't know, HM. I just don't know." Face shook his head and grabbed Murdock's hand. "I can tell you, I don't have a problem with it, and that's all that should matter. We have each other."
Murdock tightened his grip on Face's hand, but continued to look worried. "I know, Tem. Having you is wonderful, but I just can't figure out why people have such a problem with guys like us. It's not fair, just not fair."
"There's not much we can do about it though, HM, so try not to let it bother you too much."
"Temp? Why don't you want to go after them? We are the A-Team after all. We're supposed to go after guys like that. The kind of guys who go after the minority." Murdock's voice rose as he spoke. "We'll let Hannibal know! He'll help us get them!"
Face sighed. "HM. Calm down. I said it's *not* worth it." His voice sounded tired as he tried to calm the agitated pilot. "Those guys will get what's coming to them someday." Face forced a smile as he tried to change the subject. "Anyway, let's get back home, I could use some good lovin'." He winked at Murdock, and started walking down the street again.
Murdock however did not start walking and stood just staring at Face.
"Are you coming, HM? We're just getting wet standing out here."
"I'm not letting this go, Tem. What's up with those guys? The sounded like they know you or something." Murdock looked into Face's deep blue eyes, looking for a hint of what was going on.
Face shifted his eyes a bit and answered. "Those guys? I don't know what you're talking about, HM." He fidgeted and poked at his fingernails, pretending to inspect their cleanliness.
Murdock tipped Face's head back up and held his face in his hands. "I want you to tell me what is going on. Those guys knew you, I just know it."
"HM, I don't want to get into it." Face sighed, "It's not a problem. Just mind your own business. I can handle it."
Murdock's eyes changed from worry to irritation. "I will *not* mind my own business. You are my best friend, and my soulmate. If something is going on, you owe it to me to tell me." Murdock paused, trying to keep his emotions down. "I can help you with whatever the problem is. I love you and I don't want to see people hurting you. Just tell me what's going on."
Face turned from his lovers' gaze as tears began to well up in his eyes. The days had been so long, so hard to take. The notes, the abuse, and the names. The names they called him. Queer, Homo, faggot.
"God, I don't even know where to start, HM." Face looked around for a moment, then leaned against a small tree, planted a foot or so off the curb of the small street.
"How about with what's up with those guys? They knew you and I want to know how."
Face cleared his throat and nervously brushed dripping strands of hair from his forehead. "They're the guys at the plant that Hannibal sent me to check out."
"What happened there? Why are they harassing you like that?"
"Well, I went down to the Anderson plant like Hannibal said to do, and I was poking around in the office there. You know, for any kind of papers or something that would help us put the Anderson brothers away, when one of them came in."
"Oh man, did he do something to you, Tem? Why didn't you tell me?" Murdock interrupted.
"It's ok, HM. I didn't want to worry you. I told him some sort of b.s. story about being an insurance guy, and told him I was looking around the office to see if I could get him any kind of discount on his insurance." Face stopped for a minute, a look of hurt on his face, as if he were back in the office right then.
"And?"
"And.. I must have seemed a bit, well, 'soft', and he started asking me if I was a 'faggot' or something like that. I tried to ignore him, but he just kept digging at me. He grabbed my shirt and told me that I'd better get out of there because that plant didn't take to 'sicko's who like to butt-fuck' as he so kindly put it. He told me to leave, and I did."
"Tem, that's terrible! You coulda told me, or Hannibal or something. We would have done something about him!" Murdock began to seethe that his lover had been treated that way. He couldn't understand it. The intolerance. Why someone wouldn't like another person because of who they loved. Intolerance.
"That's not all." Face mumbled. He stared down at his feet.
"What?" Murdock's thoughts snapped back to what was being said to him. "What else happened?"
"I gave Hannibal the information that I found, but he wanted me to go back. That was a few days ago, remember I went out late at night to the plant?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I snuck in there, figuring there wouldn't be anyone there at that hour, at least not anyone hard to deal with. I made my way back to the office and began poking around again. I wasn't there long when I froze as I heard the doorknob turning. I dove under the desk right as the Anderson brothers stepped into the room. Just my luck, the key to one of the filing cabinets was under the desk right next to my head. Well, needless to say, I got caught and the one brother recognized me from the last time we met."
"Oh shit, Tem. I'm gonna assume you didn't get that cut on your forehead from the corner of the cabinet like you said then, right?" Murdock's eyes saddened as he listened to Faces recount of the event.
"No, he grabbed me and whacked my head into the desk. Told me again that he didn't like, well, people like us, and told me that he was going to make my life miserable for snooping around, and for being gay." Tears fell freely from Face's eyes now. Tears of pain remembering what had happened, tears of shame as well. Ashamed that he couldn't stand up to them when they were gay bashing him.
Murdock stepped closer to his crying lover, and wiped the tears from his face. "Tem, why didn't you tell me? You know I would've done something!" "I didn't want you to get hurt, HM. I've seen them drive by our apartment in the last few days. And I found a note in our mailbox."
"What? What did it say?"
Face's look turned to stone as he pulled a crumpled up piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to Murdock.
'I'm gonna get you faggot. You stuck your nose where it doesn't belong. I'm gonna get you and your homo boyfriend.'
Murdock's eyes grew wide as he reread the words. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you, Tem. To us. I'm taking this to Hannibal ASAP, and we'll take down those guys for once and for all." Murdock grabbed Face's hand and started to pull him down the sidewalk.
"HM! No! I don't want Hannibal involved in this!"
"Why not, Tem? He'll know what to do! I can't believe you don't want his help! Why?" Murdock protested.
"I.. I don't want him to know how much it got to me. I'm a man, a soldier; I shouldn't have to ask for help. I should be able to defend myself."
Face pulled his hand from Murdock's, but the pilot held on tightly. "I'm not letting you go. I don't think Hannibal will care about that. He'll care about getting those guys!"
"Let me go, HM. I don't want to get into this now. Let's just go back home and we'll figure it out in the morning." Face quickly yanked his hand from Murdock's and went stumbling backwards as Murdock released his grip.
Just as Face went reeling back over the curb into the street, the same car as before came squealing around the corner, and sped down the street right towards the conman in the street.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It's all like slow motion to me. Even now. The car just kept coming, and Tem looked frozen in the headlights. The car didn't stop. He couldn’t get out of the way in time. I'll never forget the look on his face.
Never forget the look.. The sirens.. the screams... Faggot. Queer. Homo.
The zip of his body bag.
The intolerance.
~end~
copyright: waffles 2/01