Sorry for all the youtubes, but this is just too good not to share.
God I love people.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Did the election of a black president actually take away the rights for gays to marry in Cali?
From the NY Times:
Shame on you California (and Florida and Arizona). Gays have every right to marry for money as the rest of us.
Note: It's just been pointed out to me that Sexy Knife Posing! didn't start with a link to the New York Times. OK, I know. I can't exactly talk about my life right now for reasons I will soon share. Until then, again, I urge you to have patience. I'm still sort of funny. But not really. Why do you read this blog again?
California will still allow same-sex civil unions, but that is not an option in Arizona and Florida. Exit polls in California found that 70 percent of black voters backed the ban. Slightly more than half of Latino voters, who made up almost 20 percent of voters, favored the ban, while 53 percent of whites opposed it.It's not a secret that the urban black community hasn't hopped on the gay rights boat quite yet, and those numbers above don't lie either. Could it be that by electing Obama as president, we sent the gay rights movement back a few years? Oh, the irony.
Shame on you California (and Florida and Arizona). Gays have every right to marry for money as the rest of us.
Note: It's just been pointed out to me that Sexy Knife Posing! didn't start with a link to the New York Times. OK, I know. I can't exactly talk about my life right now for reasons I will soon share. Until then, again, I urge you to have patience. I'm still sort of funny. But not really. Why do you read this blog again?
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
How I went from a drunk to a wannabe economist in a year
I know this blog isn't fun anymore. My life is boring (for now), and until that changes, I have no more tales of drunken debauchery for you. No more stories of flaccid penises or 6 am hangovers at airports. Instead, my days are filled with reading actual newspapers and not just Perez Hilton.
I am fascinated by human behavior, hence my major. As a commenter so lovingly (?) pointed out, I apparently "don't have a a degree in economics". OK. So you don't have to read what I have to say. I DO have a degree in another social science, and while I hardly would EVER claim to be an expert on ANYTHING (except burritos), I do tend to think I understand humans and why they do things more than most. This isn't learned from a common degree but rather, you know, COMMON SENSE.
Let me explain.
Everywhere in the world, there is balance. Good vs evil. Fire vs. water. Life vs. death. Vikings vs. ACTUAL GOOD FOOTBALL TEAMS. So it is logical to assume that with great excess must come some kind of retraction of that excess.
Reaganomics allowed this company to flourish on the idea false wealth. Rather than actually increase the wealth of our country, we were encouraged to go into debt to fuel the expansion of our economy. Many inefficient, poorly run companies were allowed to report huge gains for years because of this (cough cough Lehman), so why WHY are we crying over a company that was actually doing more harm to our economy than good?
Look, I know it sounds cold to be so flippant about the fact that thousands lost their jobs. It is. For some reason we as humans have come to think that we are not subject to the laws of balance the rest of the world is because of our opposable thumbs and ability to walk on two legs, but we are not. This sense of balance has long been lost this past century (or centuries for that matter). We no longer have any natural predators so our population is growing at an exponential rate which is in turn throwing the balance of the world all out of wack. It's evidence in global warming (yes, Palin, it is man-made. Read a book, yo.). We all need to take a deep breath, and realize that a recession might be a good thing. It's bringing balance back to the economy, and maybe lowering our beliefs on what we "need" to survive. So what if we have to "regress" to a standard of living from years ago? Last time I checked, it wasn't so bad.
Oh, and for the commenter who suggested I was going to be in a breadline, I'm pretty sure I'm a Blackberry, $170 cable bill, and a pair of $250 jeans away from a breadline.
I'm far from a Republican. I'm more liberal than most everyone I know. I'm fine with capitalism if we take the good with the bad, which is something the $700B bailout is not letting us do. We either need to be all in for the "free" market, or accept some form of socialism during periods of growth and recession. This weird hybrid is not working for anyone.
OK let the hate comments begin!
I am fascinated by human behavior, hence my major. As a commenter so lovingly (?) pointed out, I apparently "don't have a a degree in economics". OK. So you don't have to read what I have to say. I DO have a degree in another social science, and while I hardly would EVER claim to be an expert on ANYTHING (except burritos), I do tend to think I understand humans and why they do things more than most. This isn't learned from a common degree but rather, you know, COMMON SENSE.
Let me explain.
Everywhere in the world, there is balance. Good vs evil. Fire vs. water. Life vs. death. Vikings vs. ACTUAL GOOD FOOTBALL TEAMS. So it is logical to assume that with great excess must come some kind of retraction of that excess.
Reaganomics allowed this company to flourish on the idea false wealth. Rather than actually increase the wealth of our country, we were encouraged to go into debt to fuel the expansion of our economy. Many inefficient, poorly run companies were allowed to report huge gains for years because of this (cough cough Lehman), so why WHY are we crying over a company that was actually doing more harm to our economy than good?
Look, I know it sounds cold to be so flippant about the fact that thousands lost their jobs. It is. For some reason we as humans have come to think that we are not subject to the laws of balance the rest of the world is because of our opposable thumbs and ability to walk on two legs, but we are not. This sense of balance has long been lost this past century (or centuries for that matter). We no longer have any natural predators so our population is growing at an exponential rate which is in turn throwing the balance of the world all out of wack. It's evidence in global warming (yes, Palin, it is man-made. Read a book, yo.). We all need to take a deep breath, and realize that a recession might be a good thing. It's bringing balance back to the economy, and maybe lowering our beliefs on what we "need" to survive. So what if we have to "regress" to a standard of living from years ago? Last time I checked, it wasn't so bad.
Oh, and for the commenter who suggested I was going to be in a breadline, I'm pretty sure I'm a Blackberry, $170 cable bill, and a pair of $250 jeans away from a breadline.
I'm far from a Republican. I'm more liberal than most everyone I know. I'm fine with capitalism if we take the good with the bad, which is something the $700B bailout is not letting us do. We either need to be all in for the "free" market, or accept some form of socialism during periods of growth and recession. This weird hybrid is not working for anyone.
OK let the hate comments begin!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
For fuck's sake
"You're supposed to shake my hand, Governor."If that woman becomes 2nd in command, by God, I'm going to do something drastic. I don't know what yet, but it will be drastic.
My thoughts (if you care):
- MAVERICKMAVERICKMAVERICKMAVERICK
- What war does John McCain know how to win exactly?
- blinkblink...what did you just say? Did you answer the question? What? Who am I? STOP WINKING AT ME.
- I HAVE GAY FRIENDS LOLZY!!!11
- Global warming isn't man made, but we still need to stop it! Take THAT Mother Nature!
- McCellan, McKiernan...Potayto, potato.
- Nucular!
- Early withdrawal is bad! Yes! Tell your daughter that!
- I WILL JUST ANSWER EVERY QUESTION WITH AN ANSWER ABOUT ALASKA.
- I've only been doing this for 5 weeks...(no kidding?)
- O'Biden!
Monday, September 29, 2008
We're just jukin' the stats
Seriously people. I don't get it. All I read about lately is how the credit market is crashing, we're all going to implode, and Palin is going to invade Russia via the Bering Straight. The solution? Throw more gas on the flames via a $700 billion bailout.
Now, most of you know I am very socially liberal gay marriage, abortion rights, nationalized health care, I'm all for it. However I do believe that the greatest motivation to help drive our economy is greed. I suppose that makes me mildly fiscally conservative. I think people acting in their own monetary self interests will always stabilize the economy. Always.
I like to compare what is going on to a forest fire. Forest fires are devastating. They destroy almost anything in their path. Your initial reaction to the devastation is always to think that it will never grow back, but let me put it this way. What you didn't see before the fire was the entire floor of the forest was covered in decomposing debris that was rotting the ground. New seeds could no longer germinate as they couldn't reach fresh soil and in fact, the debris on the ground was slowly killing the forest.
Here comes the fire that wipes out not only the long standing old trees, but all the debris that was choking off the forest. Those seeds that were prepared for the fire prosper with no competition, growing stronger roots than any of its ancestors. The forest is reborn, stronger than before.
We as Americans have grown too accustom to our comfortable lifestyle. What do we need all that credit for anyways? A 3rd tv? A second house on a lake? Sure, those things are nice. But remember all, there are people all across the world who suffer about 1 million times more on a daily basis than you or me. I think a little reality check is in order. We all need to start living within our means.
The bailout plan is socialism for the rich. They gained all the benefits of capitalism when times were good, but will not be forced to reap the consequences of their greed. This is the natural order of things.
Many of you know I was a physical anthropology major in college which is basically evolution. I actually considered getting a Darwin tattoo once. This is economic Darwinism, folks. Go home, don't panic, look at your family and be thankful that you have food on your table (in my case that is Chipotle).
That is all.
Now, most of you know I am very socially liberal gay marriage, abortion rights, nationalized health care, I'm all for it. However I do believe that the greatest motivation to help drive our economy is greed. I suppose that makes me mildly fiscally conservative. I think people acting in their own monetary self interests will always stabilize the economy. Always.
I like to compare what is going on to a forest fire. Forest fires are devastating. They destroy almost anything in their path. Your initial reaction to the devastation is always to think that it will never grow back, but let me put it this way. What you didn't see before the fire was the entire floor of the forest was covered in decomposing debris that was rotting the ground. New seeds could no longer germinate as they couldn't reach fresh soil and in fact, the debris on the ground was slowly killing the forest.
Here comes the fire that wipes out not only the long standing old trees, but all the debris that was choking off the forest. Those seeds that were prepared for the fire prosper with no competition, growing stronger roots than any of its ancestors. The forest is reborn, stronger than before.
We as Americans have grown too accustom to our comfortable lifestyle. What do we need all that credit for anyways? A 3rd tv? A second house on a lake? Sure, those things are nice. But remember all, there are people all across the world who suffer about 1 million times more on a daily basis than you or me. I think a little reality check is in order. We all need to start living within our means.
The bailout plan is socialism for the rich. They gained all the benefits of capitalism when times were good, but will not be forced to reap the consequences of their greed. This is the natural order of things.
Many of you know I was a physical anthropology major in college which is basically evolution. I actually considered getting a Darwin tattoo once. This is economic Darwinism, folks. Go home, don't panic, look at your family and be thankful that you have food on your table (in my case that is Chipotle).
That is all.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Maybe "sometimes bet on black" would have been a better quote
A couple weeks back I was in the Newark airport at about 5:15am for a 6am flight. I had to get up at 3am to 1) to take a train to New Jersey and 2) Take a flight to Detroit. It was like the armpit tour of America (ok so I was just changing planes in Detroit (pronounced Day-twa) but STILL).
OK so I get my ticket and approach the security line. Normally security in Newark airport is maybe 10 people long. This time TSA was a little backed up saving the world from miniature bottles of Scope that the line was easily about 100 people. Being that it was 5:30 now and my flight was boarding, I was concerned to make the flight. Upon discussing my concern about my flight status, the always charming TSA agent simply shrugged. I almost started to stomp my feet and bitch slap her when a nice man said he had only been waiting for 10 minutes. The line was moving fast. Ok then.
I hop into line and sure enough, the line slowly moves along. I reach the front of the line where another nice TSA agent wearing what appears to be a security moomoo and rubber gloves checks my ticket and ushers me into the "special line".
You know what that means folks! That "special line" is for those of us graced with patience and have to enjoy "extra security". I reach the front of the security check point where I anticipate someone reaching 2nd base and maybe a cavity search (or 2!), when an older gentleman who had a polo tucked into his Levis carrying a leather messenger bag (sweet!) and a black man with a mild afro get the velvet rope treatment ahead of me. I do my usual eye roll and shift my weight impatiently back and forth from each foot, when I look closer at the black man.
It was Wesley Snipes!
Of course he was wearing sunglasses cause it is super bright in Newark at 5:30am, but it looked a lot like him. Now, I have no problem asking if celebrities are who they say they are, but this was different. If I was wrong, and I certainly could have been, I would be the dumb white girl who thinks all black men look like Wesley Snipes. Although it did look like him, I was unsure of it given his travel partner. Seriously, Wesley Fucking Snipes does not hang with ANY old dude with low hanging jowls, sensible loafers, and age spots.
I do my thing in security behind Fake-Wesley, when I start to notice more attention being paid to the two companions in front of me than airline security warrant. I mean, bitches be giggling everywhere. They FINALLY exit the security area when my lady, while frisking me mind you, whispers, "Did you see that was Wesley Snipes?!"
I KNEW IT.
Dude had a fucking SKULL RING and I doubted that it was Wesley? For shame.
The TSA agent was so flustered, she only checked one of my bags and I had to remind her she had to check the other one. Our airport security's finest!
I called the one person who I knew would appreciate that I was behind Wesley Snipes at Newark Airport in line for security when he stopped me mid-sentence.
"Isn't he going to jail?"
And that, my folks, is what we call a light bulb moment. You see, that older gentleman that he was with? They aren't vacationing in Cabo together, the old dude WAS ESCORTING HIM TO JAIL.
I like to think that Wesley is in his cell right now thinking about his last sight of a beautiful woman. But really, I bet he's thanking God he just didn't get but raped by a guy screaming, "I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO BET ON BLACK MOTHERFUCKER."
(yes, I made my flight. No, he wasn't on my flight to Detroit. Can't win them all)
OK so I get my ticket and approach the security line. Normally security in Newark airport is maybe 10 people long. This time TSA was a little backed up saving the world from miniature bottles of Scope that the line was easily about 100 people. Being that it was 5:30 now and my flight was boarding, I was concerned to make the flight. Upon discussing my concern about my flight status, the always charming TSA agent simply shrugged. I almost started to stomp my feet and bitch slap her when a nice man said he had only been waiting for 10 minutes. The line was moving fast. Ok then.
I hop into line and sure enough, the line slowly moves along. I reach the front of the line where another nice TSA agent wearing what appears to be a security moomoo and rubber gloves checks my ticket and ushers me into the "special line".
You know what that means folks! That "special line" is for those of us graced with patience and have to enjoy "extra security". I reach the front of the security check point where I anticipate someone reaching 2nd base and maybe a cavity search (or 2!), when an older gentleman who had a polo tucked into his Levis carrying a leather messenger bag (sweet!) and a black man with a mild afro get the velvet rope treatment ahead of me. I do my usual eye roll and shift my weight impatiently back and forth from each foot, when I look closer at the black man.
It was Wesley Snipes!
Of course he was wearing sunglasses cause it is super bright in Newark at 5:30am, but it looked a lot like him. Now, I have no problem asking if celebrities are who they say they are, but this was different. If I was wrong, and I certainly could have been, I would be the dumb white girl who thinks all black men look like Wesley Snipes. Although it did look like him, I was unsure of it given his travel partner. Seriously, Wesley Fucking Snipes does not hang with ANY old dude with low hanging jowls, sensible loafers, and age spots.
I do my thing in security behind Fake-Wesley, when I start to notice more attention being paid to the two companions in front of me than airline security warrant. I mean, bitches be giggling everywhere. They FINALLY exit the security area when my lady, while frisking me mind you, whispers, "Did you see that was Wesley Snipes?!"
I KNEW IT.
Dude had a fucking SKULL RING and I doubted that it was Wesley? For shame.
The TSA agent was so flustered, she only checked one of my bags and I had to remind her she had to check the other one. Our airport security's finest!
I called the one person who I knew would appreciate that I was behind Wesley Snipes at Newark Airport in line for security when he stopped me mid-sentence.
"Isn't he going to jail?"
And that, my folks, is what we call a light bulb moment. You see, that older gentleman that he was with? They aren't vacationing in Cabo together, the old dude WAS ESCORTING HIM TO JAIL.
I like to think that Wesley is in his cell right now thinking about his last sight of a beautiful woman. But really, I bet he's thanking God he just didn't get but raped by a guy screaming, "I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO BET ON BLACK MOTHERFUCKER."
(yes, I made my flight. No, he wasn't on my flight to Detroit. Can't win them all)
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