Credit and blame?
Nothing that I ever do is good enough for them.
My client takes all the credit (even when I’ve have done all the work).
These people never admit a mistake — they blame me instead.
They treat me like shit.
When my client starts turning on the charm, then I really start worrying. It usually means that at an unreasonable request is coming.
They are backstabbers: nice to my face, but badmouth me behind my back.
My client expects constant ass-kissing from me — flattery, compliments, and praise.
My client loves to brag.
They treat me like I am an idiot.
Life is one emergency after another with these people.
This client loves to make last minute requests, which often require working nights and weekends.
My client routinely calls and sends me emails on weekends and nights (or when I am on vacation) and expects me to deal with them immediately.
These cheap creeps keep trying to find ways to pay me less.
They keep asking me to do extra work, but don’t want to pay for it.
My client is slow to pay.
My stomach churns whenever I have to email, meet, or talk on the phone with this client.
Working with these people saps my energy.
If I am ever crazy enough to work for this client again, I will charge A LOT more money to compensate for the stress and aggravation (i.e., I will charge "assholes taxes.")
I would NEVER recommend this client to a friend.
I never want to work with these assholes again.
0. Dream client. Thank them and do everything you can to keep them.
1 to 4. Damn good client. Treat them well.
5 to 10. Borderline asshole. Develop a plan to fight back. Perhaps you can explain to them how bad it feels to work for them. Or, failing that, charging asshole taxes is probably in order.
11 to 15. Certified asshole. You’ve got a client from hell. If you can’t or won’t dump them, start a campaign to reform the client, fight-back, or at least to extract high assholes taxes.
16 to 20. Flaming certified asshole. You’ve got a client from the hottest part of hell. Dump them as fast as you can.
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