'Hell's Kitchen' recap: Yes man
Apr 24, 2009, 10:06 AM | by Jami Lundborg
Categories: About Last Night, Reality TV, Television
Anyone who has watched Hell's Kitchen on a semi-regular basis has surely noticed Ramsay's habit of saying “yes?” after pretty much everything. Obviously he doesn't intend for his “question” to be answered, but the variety of sentences Ramsay tacks his rhetorical inquiry onto is rather diverse. It ranges from things like “well done, yes?” to “f--- off, yes?” — and I find it oddly mesmerizing. Last night, I decided to take a stab at tallying up the “yeses,” and the final number came to nine, I think. After so many weeks of writing this recap, I felt this recurring theme needed to be addressed. So there you have it. Now onto what you actually came here for...
The show was rather uneventful this week. Things started off with Ramsay wasting his breath telling Ben to practice the phrase “I was wrong.” This is the point where I would normally bitch and moan about how Ben is seemingly unaware that he has no talent and is basically a culinary hack who has somehow managed to weasel his way onto my television set and now maintains permanent residence under my skin — but I think I may have mentioned it once or twice before, so I'll spare you this week. Instead, I will mention how much I like Paula, who may be the most low-key, semi-boring reality TV contestant ever. I'll take boring over Ben any day.
For the challenge this week, the chefs had to taste a variety of Chef Ramsay's dishes, choose a favorite (they picked fish stew), and recreate the recipe from taste. For someone with as unsophisticated a palate as mine — mac & cheese and chocolate are the only two food groups as far as I'm concerned — this challenge sounded difficult. Not so. Danny was the only one who used the correct fish (red snapper), but the Ramsanator was relatively pleased with everyone's dish. We went to commercial with Ramsay divided between Danny and Paula's dish, and commenting on how the decision is “so hard” and so on. This weekly set up is done with such a lack of subtlety, the producers and Ramsay may as well spell out S-U-S-P-E-N-S-E in neon pink letters across the screen. We returned from break to find out that Danny won. Whew...I was really sweating over it.
To celebrate his win, Danny and Ramsay went for a joyride in a biplane. The two men, like Hell's Kitchen's own odd-couple version of the Wright Brothers, flew around in the tiny plane with their unprotected heads bopping along (although, if a bird flew directly into Ramsay's face it would probably just disappear into one of his forehead wrinkles). They appeared to be enjoying the thrill, while, for reasons unknown, my mind kept drifting to this brilliant Daffy Duck cartoon (at the 5:50 mark).
Once the men returned from their Looney Tunes-esque adventure, Ramsay sent the chefs up to the dorms for a surprise. What did they get? Why, their very own sets of Ramsay endorsed pots and pans!! They seemed thrilled, which is what counts I suppose, but is it too much to ask for something a little more grand, exciting, or even weird? Like some nicotine patches and a giant “No Smoking” sign...or a llama. That would liven up Hell's Kitchen a bit, yes?
Dinner service began unlike any other before it — without a hitch. Ben's risotto was good. Paula's scallops were good (like always), Andrea's Wellington was perfect. Bravo! Then the camera panned to a satisfied customer's, um, breasts. Yes, the camera was presumably meant to be focusing on her dish (wink, nudge), but the lady's bosom had a substantial supporting role and the camera seemed to linger there for a wee bit longer than necessary. Unfortunately, post-boob sighting, things started to go downhill. Ben's next batch of risotto was bland, Paula was a bit slow on the dory, and Ben asked Ramsay if the vegetarian salad needed tuna. Ramsay then started yelling at Ben, as he does every week, and Ben told the camera that Ramsay yells at him because he sees him as a potential winner of the competition. Sigh. I simply do not have the energy to rant about how incredibly deluded Ben is...again. Then, a customer wanted to propose to his girlfriend and asked J.P. if the kitchen would put the ring with her dessert. Panic! So many possible scenarios went through my brain at this moment: It's a set-up, someone will lose the ring, ruin the dessert, bring it to the wrong table, etc. I was pleasantly surprised when all that resulted was a simple proposal without any drama. Touché Hell's Kitchen, my cynicism was undeserved...this time. Ramsay then went over to the happy couple with a rose in hand, called the future bride “my darling,” and sent my heart all aflutter.
Dinner service ended on a sour note when Andrea realized she was missing two Wellingtons. So, after a brief and typical deliberation, Ben and Andrea were sent to the chopping block and Ramsay finally sent Ben a-packing. Good riddance. Please seek medical attention for your apparent memory lapses. I am very concerned.
I leave you with the season's most tubular quote, from Danny, in the preview for next week's episode: “This is gonna be gnarly.”
So PopWatchers, will you miss Ben? Should Andrea have gone first? Who do you think are next week's surprise guests?
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