
Judaism
The first mitzvah, or commandment of the Torah (the first five books of the Old Testament) is be fruitful and multiply. “It is central to
Judaism
,” says Rabbi Michael Gold, author of Hannah Wept, Infertility and Adoption and the Jewish Couple (Jewish Publication Society of America). But in the Bible, the three couples who founded the Jewish faith—Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob and Rachel—were all infertile, the rabbi points out. Which may be why
Judaism
is fairly liberal when it comes to infertility treatments. “If Orthodox Jewish couples are not expecting a child within three to six months of marriage, it can be very anxiety-producing,” says Douglas Rabin, M.D., a leading reproductive specialist in Fair Lawn, New Jersey, and an Orthodox Jew. “After a year it is even more so because of enormous societal pressure.” So there is great incentive for couples who have not conceived to seek medical help. Most fertility treatments are accepted and even welcomed in very observant Jewish communities. “But some reproductive techniques do raise serious questions in Jewish law,” Rabbi Gold explains.
Judaism
places strong emphasis on lineage, and who is a Jew. “You are born Jewish if your mother is Jewish. No legal procedure or court decree can erase that identity,” he says. “It’s when you use donor sperm or egg that this introduces the important issue of Jewish identity.” That ongoing debate is profound and multi-sided. In fact, Yeshiva University in New York City, which has one of the largest Orthodox rabbinical seminaries in the country, offers a course in infertility and Jewish law so that rabbis who graduate from the program can knowledgably counsel their congregations. The use of fertility drugs is permitted by
Judaism
, as are sperm washing, ICSI (intracytoplasmic sperm injection), and IVF. Reform and Conservative Jewish teachings permit IVF using donor sperm and eggs, while under Jewish Orthodoxy—between 12 and 15 percent of America’s over five million Jews—some rabbis will approve third-party donors and some not. “Unlike the Catholic Church, there is no actual doctrine on this,” says Rabbi Gold. “As Jews, we are allowed to be nature’s partner, and help things along. But it’s when you start borrowing eggs or sperm that this could affect the child’s future Jewish identity,” he explains. Jewish law can affect other aspects of reproduction and medical treatment as well. For instance, most Orthodox rabbis will not permit masturbation as a means to collect semen for testing or use in fertility procedures. Instead, couples may be advised to use a special “collection condom” to provide the sperm sample. Also, since Orthodox couples are not permitted to have sexual relations when the wife is menstruating and for seven days afterward (after which she purifies herself in a mikvah, a ritual bath), if a woman has a short cycle she may need drugs to extend her cycle in order to become pregnant. The Talmud (a book of oral Jewish law) historically considered that a man who was married for 10 years without conceiving a child could divorce his wife and marry another woman to attempt to have a baby. This practice is no longer followed. “In my case, we’d still be infertile,” says Rabbi Gold. “My wife and I both had fertility problems, and treatments didn’t work. We ended up adopting, as are more and more Jewish couples.” Talmudic law has restrictions regarding unrelated individuals of the opposite sex being alone together, and these restric-
It’s when you use donor sperm or egg that this introduces the important issue of Jewish identity.
tions can have an effect on how adoption is managed in an Orthodox family. Since adopted children are not blood relatives, the restriction might apply even within families; once an adopted boy reaches the age of 13, or a girl turns 12, they may not be alone with an adult family member of the opposite sex. But Orthodox
Judaism
has practical solutions to this hurdle; for instance, it can be easily overcome by giving another adult a key to the house, so that they can in effect be a chaperone at any time. “As long as the husband or wife are in town, or if not and another adult has access to the house, then the couple’s rabbi can find solutions to overcome these restrictions,” explains Dr. Rabin. “These laws have been explored and refined for three thousand years.
Judaism
is a user-friendly religion, and very pragmatic.” Because many of these issues are subject to different rabbinical interpretations, Rabbi Gold recommends that couples discuss these issues with a rabbi ahead of time. “Try to find one who is sensitive to infertility and adoption issues,” he says. “The bottom line is, you need to be able to get up in the morning, and live your life with integrity.” conceiveonline.com 57
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