Clay Whitmer & Stuart Matis
Clay Whitmer, left,
with friend Stuart Matis

Clay Douglass Whitmer (1965-2000)

Clay Douglass Whitmer was born May 21, 1965. He was an incredibly intelligent person. He had an M.B.A. and a J.D. He could pick up just about any subject matter with complete ease. He was someone who had very high aspirations.

Clay had been involved with Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons as a member of the San Francisco chapter. His family lives in Kansas City, Missouri. Clay had a very complicated relationship with his parents, and they have decided not to memorialize his life or death.

Clay committed suicide in the San Francisco Bay Area on March 20, 2000--three weeks after his friend Stuart Matis. Stuart was Clay's very dear friend. They went to Brigham Young University together and served Mormon missions together in Italy.

The death of his friend Stuart may have been the last straw in Clay's life. He wrote in his suicide note that he wanted to say good-bye to all his friends and to apologize for the pain he knew he would cause them. He also chose a place to commit the suicide which he knew none of his friends had any particular connection to. Peculiar as it may sound, even in contemplating his own death, he thought of others. This was the type of person he was.


Gay Mormon Suicides Mourned in Prop's Wake (Sunstone 118 [April 2001]: 90-91).

Miller, Mark. To Be Gay--And Mormon. Newsweek, 8 May 2000, pp. 38-39.

© 1996-2008 Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons