The Fall of the Geek Empire

There once was an empire, a beautiful empire. It had a hold on nearly every corner of the civilized world, and it showed no sign of weakening. Not only was it an economic powerhouse, the rest of the world would soon come to depend on it, and upon the skills of its people. This was the Geek Empire - a gathering of all geeks, nerds, techies, and so forth - a technological wonder that would define a millennium. The internet became the hub of communication, and it was good. Every form of media became digitized, and it was good. Intellectuals became idols, and it was good.

But it was all too good to last.

When the mainstream spilled upon the once sacred technological empire, it began an era of decadence and the inevitable decline. Strange social hierarchies built around the internet's instantaneous nature. Citizens became connected to one another not by common goal or intellectual interest, but by flimsy, superficial pleasure and false banners. How very Brave New World. As geekdom became increasingly popular, the defenses were lowered. The lines between the virtual and the physical became blurred. And it was no longer required of nerds to be smart. And the true nerds wept.

Generation Y, I am pointing at you. You were either not born when the empire rose to power, or were too occupied by football with Daddy or watching Mommy disappear into the limo to meet her "special friends." Either way, you do not know that geekdom didn't just fall out of the sky, ready to be played with by just anyone. But being the kind, open-minded people we were, we welcomed you into our ranks, letting you glob together across your Yahoo and your AOL and eventually... yes, 4chan. After all, we believed in freedom, sometimes bordering on the anarchic. You kept to your circles, and we kept to ours while still aiding yours. We would be friends, and would share the same bounty. There was no way of restricting it anyway without breaking our own unspoken Constitution.

Years passed by, and I began to regret that we ever made such a decision. As many of you were children when you first became citizens of our empire, you grew up to become rather obsessed with remembering that time. Rather than wanting to further the empire's goals, you began to chatter away about toys and games and even children's books (damn Harry Potter!). It became clear to me - nostalgia is the new opiate. Geek was no longer an intellectual, but a frivolous child-at-heart lost in their own little world. Just like a hippie. Internet culture does little to separate Geek Type Alpha from Geek Type Beta. When Alphas take on more Beta-like characteristics, the lines are even further blurred. Are you sick yet?

If you do not believe me, I invite you to examine such sites as My Life Is Average. It began as a silly parody of the more infamous F My Life, for people who live very average lives (i.e., people who spend an awful amount of time in front of a computer screen). A website parodying another website, hmm, seems appealing enough to geek culture. But when you examine it... dead gods! Harry Potter and Star Wars and ninjas and dinosaurs galore! Dress-up games and candy and superheroes! Parents who love the same! And how the masses gobble it up! One wonders whether Generation Y ever entered puberty. If I were a better philosopher, I would try examining the changing definitions of "adulthood" and what it all means, but for Cthulhu's sake I haven't even graduated high school.

It's rather funny, actually. Some Nazis theorize that the fall of the Roman Empire was caused in part by racial "dilution" of its rulers. As a Basement Trooper is always a Nazi's best friend, I cannot help but wonder what this principle means for the Geek Empire. Does the new dilution spell the end, or simply a new era? Can the old days regenerate themselves? And, most importantly, will nerds ever be smart again? Only time will tell.