The 10 best performances from the 2009 AMAs

<p> </p><br><p> </p><br> <p> </p><br> Hearing the word “jam-packed,” I often think of PopTarts, with their sweet fake fruit centers and crunchy outsides. Actually, now that I think about it, the 2009 AMAs were just that, a big tasty PopTart.<p> </p><br> Janet Jackson and Carrie Underwood brought the pop with a iconic dance moves and confidence that could move mountains. Serving up the fake and the fruit were Shakira and Adam Lambert, since they went through the motions; banking on their backup dancers and stage set-up to fill our appetites. Whitney Houston and Green Day both may have looked crunchy on the outside, but on the inside we were treated to beautiful sounds from two seasoned vets.<p> </p><br> However, the number one performance was toasted evenly on both sides, just as sweet as it was savory and satisfied my sweet tooth like only a true performer can. So without further ado, here are PopWrap's favorite performances from last night's American Music Awards -- who made it to number one? There's only one way to find out!<p> </p><br> No 10: Jennifer Lopez<p> </p><br>First off, 10 is not the best in this list, No. 1 is, so keep that in mind. Now, Jennifer Lopez performed her new single "Louboutins" in a "Million Dollar Baby"-esque fashion last night, and while the choreography was ab-tacular, the performance was a big fat dud. She seemed like someone's older sister won a contest and got to perform on the show, tons of fizzle and very little sizzle. Oh, and when you have a song all about shoes, don't confuse us by throwing a boxing theme over it, keep it simple.<p> </p><br> <object width="600" height="384"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/qiymczIMHEE&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/qiymczIMHEE&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="384"></embed></object><p> </p><br> No. 9: Kelly Clarkson<p> </p><br>Vocals, yes. Fancy grandma Chicos cardigan sweater, no. Kelly Clarkson belted out her amazing single "Already Gone," and while her stylistys seems to be taking a power nap, her voice pulled double-duty to make up for it.<p> </p><br> <object width="600" height="384"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ntMjPbkFY68&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ntMjPbkFY68&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="384"></embed></object><p> </p><br> No. 8: Black Eyed Peas<p> </p><br>I have one rule when it comes to pop musical performances: dancers are a must. If those dancers happen to be transforming radio robots, then they should be utilized to the fullest. Fergie and the gang stitched together two of their songs in what could have been a hardcore show, but instead seemed all over the place like a puzzle in a wind storm.<p> </p><br> <object width="600" height="384"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2dn8X48pwf8&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2dn8X48pwf8&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="384"></embed></object><p> </p><br> No. 7: Green Day<p> </p><br>"21 Guns" is a song that makes me wish I was 16 years old and trying to deal with love and homework, damn how I miss it. The boys of Green Day brought fire and fierceness to the stage with a performance we all expected to rock -- and they delivered.<p> </p><br> <object width="600" height="384"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dG9jHJGbeAQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dG9jHJGbeAQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="384"></embed></object><p> </p><br> No. 6: Carrie Underwood<p> </p><br>The one thing that bugs me about award season being an actual season, is that musicians sing the same damn song at all of the events. Point in question, Carrie's "Cowboy Cassanova" had me reaching for the fast forward button quicker than Carnie Wilson's mad skills at a pie eating contest.<p> </p><br> <object width="600" height="384"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/b5VZzptLfdQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/b5VZzptLfdQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="384"></embed></object><p> </p><br> No. 5: Adam Lambert In one of the most lame attempts to shock the pants off America, Adam Lambert took the stage to perform his new single "For Your Entertainment." While the dancers and concept were interesting, Adam's uncomfy delivery and crotch-rificant dance moves made me feel like a mom at a child's talent show when her son forgets his lines. Better luck next time, Glammy.<p> </p><br> <object width="600" height="384"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/pg-j9SylPGk&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/pg-j9SylPGk&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="384"></embed></object><p> </p><br> No. 4: Shakira<p> </p><br>Shakira is by far my favorite musical import, and watching her shake her ass with 20+ dancers and a mirror dress makes her that much more of a gem in my book. Debuting her new single "Give Up To Me," she brought loose and lazy vocals, but what she lacked in pitch she made up for in sex. And seeing her lady dancers crotch pump in front of old record execs made me chuckle out loud, so that's a plus.<p> </p><br> <object width="600" height="384"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-4c_EENnGco&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-4c_EENnGco&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="384"></embed></object><p> </p><br> No. 3: Whitney Houston<p> </p><br>Whitney Houston brought the emotional choo-choo train of soul, belting out her hit "I Didn’t Know My Own Strength," garnering a massive standing ovation. I love everything about this performance, down to the 20-second pause at the end. Bravo Whitney, bravo indeed.<p> </p><br> <object width="600" height="384"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/wksUK82UjLU&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/wksUK82UjLU&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="384"></embed></object><p> </p><br> No. 2: Jay-Z and Alicia Keys<p> </p><br>The King and Queen of hip hop -- yeah, I said it -- gave a tribute to New York like nothing I have ever seen. Hell, after that awful intro by a gum chewing A-Rod, there wasn't any other direction to go but up. Alicia sported a tight black backwards-ish pant suit, while Jay-Z made the Rat Pack look like plain rats in a white three-piece suit.<p> </p><br> <object width="600" height="384"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ECC8QdBsRUo&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ECC8QdBsRUo&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="384"></embed></object><p> </p><br> No. 1: Lady GaGa<p> </p><br>Smashing windows, bottles and barriers, Lady GaGa sang two of her songs from her new CD "Fame Monster," both in a manner befitting the number one slot. Her boney bodysuits may have been a little distracting (including her backup dancers major camel toes) but their dance moves and pure energetic brilliance made up for the lack of crotch detail.<p> </p><br> <object width="600" height="384"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/acBz7qocwZA&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/acBz7qocwZA&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="384"></embed></object><p> </p><br> Unrankable Mention: Rihanna<p> </p><br>For the same reasons I believe Michael Jackson should not have been nominated for any 2009 AMAs, Rihanna's performance was hyped and advertised for so many reasons other than a girl just singing a song. Don't get me wrong, she delivered, but I can't place it on the top 10 list because I feel like my opinion is jaded due to her recent roller-coaster ride of drama. Instead, I am plopping her in her own category, I mean if you sport laser shoulder pads you deserve special treatment anyhow.<p> </p><br> <object width="600" height="384"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/5qpoFPuWKbw&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5qpoFPuWKbw&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="384"></embed></object><p> </p><br>

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November 23, 2009 ι Ryan Brockington

Hearing the word “jam-packed,” I often think of PopTarts, with their sweet fake fruit centers and crunchy outsides. Actually, now that I think about it, the 2009 AMAs were just that, a big tasty PopTart.

Janet Jackson and Carrie Underwood brought the pop with a iconic dance moves and confidence that could move mountains. Serving up the fake and the fruit were Shakira and Adam Lambert, since they went through the motions; banking on their backup dancers and stage set-up to fill our appetites. Whitney Houston and Green Day both may have looked crunchy on the outside, but on the inside we were treated to beautiful sounds from two seasoned vets.

However, the number one performance was toasted evenly on both sides, just as sweet as it was savory and satisfied my sweet tooth like only a true performer can. So without further ado, here are PopWrap's favorite performances from last night's American Music Awards -- who made it to number one? There's only one way to find out!

No 10: Jennifer Lopez
First off, 10 is not the best in this list, No. 1 is, so keep that in mind. Now, Jennifer Lopez performed her new single "Louboutins" in a "Million Dollar Baby"-esque fashion last night, and while the choreography was ab-tacular, the performance was a big fat dud. She seemed like someone's older sister won a contest and got to perform on the show, tons of fizzle and very little sizzle. Oh, and when you have a song all about shoes, don't confuse us by throwing a boxing theme over it, keep it simple.

No. 9: Kelly Clarkson
Vocals, yes. Fancy grandma Chicos cardigan sweater, no. Kelly Clarkson belted out her amazing single "Already Gone," and while her stylistys seems to be taking a power nap, her voice pulled double-duty to make up for it.

No. 8: Black Eyed Peas
I have one rule when it comes to pop musical performances: dancers are a must. If those dancers happen to be transforming radio robots, then they should be utilized to the fullest. Fergie and the gang stitched together two of their songs in what could have been a hardcore show, but instead seemed all over the place like a puzzle in a wind storm.

No. 7: Green Day
"21 Guns" is a song that makes me wish I was 16 years old and trying to deal with love and homework, damn how I miss it. The boys of Green Day brought fire and fierceness to the stage with a performance we all expected to rock -- and they delivered.

No. 6: Carrie Underwood
The one thing that bugs me about award season being an actual season, is that musicians sing the same damn song at all of the events. Point in question, Carrie's "Cowboy Cassanova" had me reaching for the fast forward button quicker than Carnie Wilson's mad skills at a pie eating contest.

No. 5: Adam Lambert
In one of the most lame attempts to shock the pants off America, Adam Lambert took the stage to perform his new single "For Your Entertainment." While the dancers and concept were interesting, Adam's uncomfy delivery and crotch-rificant dance moves made me feel like a mom at a child's talent show when her son forgets his lines. Better luck next time, Glammy.

No. 4: Shakira
Shakira is by far my favorite musical import, and watching her shake her ass with 20+ dancers and a mirror dress makes her that much more of a gem in my book. Debuting her new single "Give Up To Me," she brought loose and lazy vocals, but what she lacked in pitch she made up for in sex. And seeing her lady dancers crotch pump in front of old record execs made me chuckle out loud, so that's a plus.

No. 3: Whitney Houston
Whitney Houston brought the emotional choo-choo train of soul, belting out her hit "I Didn’t Know My Own Strength," garnering a massive standing ovation. I love everything about this performance, down to the 20-second pause at the end. Bravo Whitney, bravo indeed.

No. 2: Jay-Z and Alicia Keys
The King and Queen of hip hop -- yeah, I said it -- gave a tribute to New York like nothing I have ever seen. Hell, after that awful intro by a gum chewing A-Rod, there wasn't any other direction to go but up. Alicia sported a tight black backwards-ish pant suit, while Jay-Z made the Rat Pack look like plain rats in a white three-piece suit.

No. 1: Lady GaGa
Smashing windows, bottles and barriers, Lady GaGa sang two of her songs from her new CD "Fame Monster," both in a manner befitting the number one slot. Her boney bodysuits may have been a little distracting (including her backup dancers major camel toes) but their dance moves and pure energetic brilliance made up for the lack of crotch detail.

Unrankable Mention: Rihanna
For the same reasons I believe Michael Jackson should not have been nominated for any 2009 AMAs, Rihanna's performance was hyped and advertised for so many reasons other than a girl just singing a song. Don't get me wrong, she delivered, but I can't place it on the top 10 list because I feel like my opinion is jaded due to her recent roller-coaster ride of drama. Instead, I am plopping her in her own category, I mean if you sport laser shoulder pads you deserve special treatment anyhow.