Rhett&Link’s Story

1st Grade: The Dawn of a Duo
Rhett and Link meet … Ms. Locklear’s class … Buies Creek Elementary School … Buies Creek, North Carolina. Population 986. They’re both held in from recess for writing nasty words on their desks. They hit it off.

4th Grade
Rhett’s parents, Jim and Diane, drive R&L to the Asheboro Zoo in their blue Dodge Dynasty. In the gift shop, both R&L purchase a commemorative T-shirt … the same commemorative T-shirt: the purple one with the gorilla on the front.

6th Grade
Rhett gets his first girlfriend: Lesli. Three months later, when they break up, she becomes Link’s first girlfriend.

7th Grade
Link gets his first kiss from his second girlfriend: Amber. Later that same year, Rhett followed suit: second girlfriend … first kiss … same Amber.

8th Grade
Rhett plays power forward for Coach Royal. Link keeps the scorebook with Coach Royal’s daughter, Elizabeth.

9th Grade
Jim and Diane take Rhett, Link, and their dates, Jamie and Tabitha, to the Dunn movie theatre to see Home Alone 2. All four of them cram into the backseat of the blue Dodge Dynasty for the 25-minute drive down Hwy 421. In an awkward attempt to break the silence, Rhett recalls Link saying, “It sure will be nice when they make this road four lanes.” Jim’s laughter was the only response. There was no second date.

10th Grade: The Watershed
-R&L sit on a rock in the middle of a cow pasture and formulate a plan to become filmmakers. A blood oath is involved.
-They begin work on their autobiographical screenplay entitled “Gutless Wonders.” The opening scene depicts Rhett rising from bed, making a bleary-eyed trek to his bathroom, and pouring water into a trashcan. It was cutting-edge.
-In an effort to expand the soundtrack, Rhett discovers his father’s “Marlboro Country” compilation cassette and, therein, Merle Haggard’s earth-altering performance of “Okie From Muskogee.” Entire Merle albums including “It’s Been a Great Afternoon” and “Greatest Hits of the Eighties” were then excavated from the same stockpile of cassettes and thereafter played repeatedly in the white Dynasty (yes, there was also a white Dynasty…please, no questions).

11th Grade
R&L are founding members of a rock-band, the Wax Paper Dogz. Rhett decides to learn how to play guitar because having two lead singers becomes annoying quickly. The WPDz become a firebrand of creativity among the Buies Creek musical community. Their hits included … um … well, their cover of Lynyrd Skynrd’s “Simple Man” always brought the house down.

College Years

North Carolina State University … R&L inhabit room #24 in the basement of Syme Dorm. R&L discover that students at the Campus Crusade weekly meetings enjoy the stupid videos they create using a VHS-C camera (a amazing idea where one smaller tape fit inside a larger VHS tape) and two VCR’s. These videos co-star Gregg, who deserves a bio page of his own but will not get one at this time due to bandwith restrictions.

Technology Explosion
For his college graduation present, Rhett receives his first computer ever, complete with solitaire, minesweeper, and $99 non-linear video editing software. R&L realize they can make more videos, better videos, more often, and that they can actually makes titles on their videos … they do this. Many videos have very long titles just because it’s so cool to see titles on their videos.

Leaving & Cleaving
R&L get married … not to each other, but each to a woman (Jessie and Christy, respectively). These beautiful women realize what they have gotten into after it’s too late. The four begin to carry out the commandment to populate the earth. Jessie & Christy briefly contemplate starting their own website.

The Real World
Because they have engineering degrees, R&L become engineers … Rhett’s a civil, Link an industrial. After a couple of years, they realize that sitting in front of a computer all day is going to kill them. R&L spend the next 3 years as videographers/speakers/lounge singers at Campus Crusade for Christ’s MidSouth HQ.

Lots of people start putting their videos online. This seems like a good idea to R&L. RhettandLink.com is born. R&L decide that they are big shots and start their own production company, get a lawyer, and begin addressing each other as “sir.”

The Saga Continues
R&L continue creating online content and forget everything they learned about engineering, but remain very proficient in Microsoft Excel, in which they make many graphs and bar-charts to help them visualize their sinister plan to take over the online comedy world. Rhett is represented by a red line, while Link is represented by a teal line.

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