Sexual abuse is when a child or young person is pressurised, forced or tricked into taking part in any kind of sexual activity with an adult or young person. This can include kissing, touching the young person's genitals or breasts, intercourse or oral sex. Encouraging a child to look at pornographic magazines, videos or sexual acts is also sexual abuse.
Child sex abusers can come from any professional, racial or religious background, and can be male or female. They are not always adults - children and young people can also behave in a sexually abusive way. Usually the abuser is a family member or someone known to the child, such as a family friend.
Abusers may act alone or as part of an organised group. They sometimes prefer children of a particular age, sex, physical type or ethnic background. After the abuse, they will put the child under great pressure not to tell anyone about it. They will go to great lengths to get close to children and win their trust. For example, by choosing employment that brings them into contact with children, or by pretending to be children in internet chat rooms run for children and young people.
Child sex abusers are sometimes referred to as "paedophiles" or "sex offenders", especially when they are not family members.
How will I know if my child is being sexually abused? Children who are being abused may show a number of physical and emotional changes. But remember that these signs do not always mean that a child is being abused - there may be other explanations.
Physical signs of abuse
pain, itching, bruising or bleeding in the genital or anal areas
genital discharge or urinary tract infections
stomach pains or discomfort walking or sitting
sexually transmitted infections.
If your child is suffering from any of these symptoms, you should consult a doctor immediately.
Behavioural signs of abuse
These might include a marked change in the child's general behaviour. For example, they may become unusually quiet and withdrawn, or unusually aggressive. Or they may start suffering from what may seem to be physical ailments, but which can't be explained medically.
The child may refuse to attend school or start to have difficulty concentrating so that their schoolwork is affected.
They may show unexpected fear or distrust of a particular adult or refuse to continue with their usual social activities.
They may start using sexually explicit behaviour or language, particularly if the behaviour or language is not appropriate for their age.
The child may describe receiving special attention from a particular adult, or refer to a new, "secret" friendship with an adult or young person.
What should I do if my child tells me they have been sexually abused? Your child probably feels very anxious and embarrassed about what has happened. So although you will naturally feel very upset yourself, try not to react in a way that adds to their distress, for example, with disbelief or blame. Try your best to:
keep calm
listen very carefully to what your child tells you
make clear that you believe what they are telling you
allow your child to tell you as much as they want to about the abuse, but do not force them to talk about it
tell your child that they have done the right thing in telling you
tell them that they are not to blame for the abuse.
Contact the NSPCC Child Protection Helpline immediately on 0808 800 5000. Our Helpline advisers are all qualified child protection officers. They will provide advice about stopping and reporting the abuse and how to get help. Alternatively, contact your health visitor, GP, or your local police or social services immediately.
Do not confront the abuser yourself. Your priority must be to stop the abuse and protect the child by getting expert advice as soon as possible.
Organisations that can help are listed below. Or contact an NSPCC Helpline adviser on 0808 800 5000 who can tell you about help available in your area.
NSPCC Cymru/Wales Helpline Tel: 0808 800 5000 Email: Helpline@nspcc.org.uk In English or Welsh. Textphone: Freephone 0808 100 1033 This is for people with hearing difficulties. Fax: 01248 361085
MOSAC Freephone 0808 980 1958 www.mosac.org.uk Telephone advice, information and support for mothers and female carers of children who have been sexually abused.
Family Matters 01474 537 392 Helpline and counselling for children, adolescents and adults who have been victims of abuse. Services for non-abusing family members.
NAPAC (National Association for People Abused in Childhood) Freephone 0800 085 3330 Monday - Friday: 12 noon - 8pm Saturday - 9am - 12 noon www.napac.org.uk Information line supporting adults who were abused in childhood.
Survivors on the Net www.survivors.org.uk Online resource for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Facilitated online support group, online resource list, monthly newsletter and quarterly newsletter.