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Starfleet Captain Boldly Goes Where He Has Repeatedly Gone Before

Starfleet Captain Boldly Goes Where He Has Repeatedly Gone Before

Orion Sector, Stardate 87865.83 – Starfleet Command today promoted Commander James T. Grayson to the rank of Captain in recognition of his actions in repeatedly saving Starbase 24 from the same Klingon attack.

Grayson has now defended the Starbase from the same attack dozens of times, and despite having enlisted less than one Earth month ago, the young prodigy is among the most decorated individuals in Starfleet history, and is on pace to receive his Admiralship by the end of the week.

“I’d really love to know what these guys did to piss off the Klingons,” said Grayson, responding to yet another call from Admiral Grigori Yanishev, alongside 19 other vessels of various shapes and sizes. Based on precedent, Grayson remained confident that the enemy fleet would be eliminated in “about 20 minutes,” with the surviving science team transported safely — albeit briefly — to the U.S.S. McCoy.

“And then they’ll beam back to the Starbase, and then I bet the Klingons come right back in about an hour,” added Grayson as he sipped a steaming hot cup of Earl Grey. “I don’t know where they build all these ships. It’s like one of the Ensigns broke the holodeck or something.”

“Computer? End program,” he said, to no apparent effect.

Grayson’s Cruiser, the U.S.S. Hellas, has seen comparatively little action outside of rescuing the eternally-beleaguered Starbase, despite his theoretical mission to explore the distant frontiers of known space, ever pushing the envelope of human knowledge. The ship had managed to discover North America after a recent side trip to Earth, but was recalled to Starbase 24 before its crew could confirm the presence of life on the surface.

“I’m supposed to be exploring the Khazan Cluster or the Xleen System or some crap,” said Grayson. “Like I have time with Starbase 24 under major attack. How can I ignore their plight to go traipsing around the galaxy, ‘exploring strange new worlds’ or whatever.”

“City on the Edge of Never? Never seen it, never will.”

Story reported by Observer contributor Michael Fiegel.

11 Responses to “Starfleet Captain Boldly Goes Where He Has Repeatedly Gone Before”

  1. Khan says:

    ‘Starbase 24′ ja’ maH pongmey vaj maH HoH chaH

  2. James! T! KIRK! says:

    So! This! Future! Is…

    Repetitive! Where! is the! Spark! The! Zest for life!

    The! Romancing! of! Green Skinned! Space babes!

  3. Korath Clan says:

    Give us 100 billion credits and strabase 24 (and the rest of the solar system it happens to inhabit) won’t be a problem for much longer.

    - Crew of Terror Star 24

  4. Spock says:

    These continued, repetitive assaults on human and Vulcan stations are quite…illogical. There is no logical way for the Klingon fleets to regroup that fast….as well, I keep having to be in need of more dilithium crystals, about 25 to be precise. It would be optimal if I could have a willing Captain to go collect them for me.

    Live long, and prosper.

  5. Kirk says:


  6. Commander Shepard says:

    At least what he’s doing is more exciting than probing Uranus.


  7. Chardac The Honey Tongued says:

    Humanity continues to strive against all odds it would seem.

    The Morru’Khan is curious as to how Humans as a species continue to exist after repeatedly being exterminated by Morrigi fleets, Perhaps this Star-fleet is a splinter faction of SolForce.

    The Morru’Khan demands our sisters research this possibility further.

    Also, SQUAWK!

  8. Jean-Luc Picard says:

    There are four lights.

  9. Scotty says:


  10. humpback whale says:

    wheeeeeaaaaah ooooooommmm eaeeeeeyereryyye weirrrrrrrrrrarrrrrrrraaaaaaaa yeeeeeeeeeommmmmm


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