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Honestly, All of Us Are Liars

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Admit it. At some point it your life, you’ve lied. Maybe you tell white lies on a daily basis. Maybe you tell some all-out doozies. Whatever the case, don’t worry about it too much. You’re normal.

Experts say there are two kinds of lies - the lies that you tell to help yourself and the lies you tell to protect other people’s feelings, like when you tell someone they look good in that terrible pink-and-green tie.

Serious lies are most often told to protect relationships. That’s when people lie about cheating, for example. Obviously, they don’t want to get caught and they want to keep their marriages intact. Most white lies, however, are told to strangers.

Lying is not exactly extraordinary. During a recent study, people were asked to record every single lie they told in one week. The results showed that college students lied at least once to nearly 40 percent of the people they interacted with. The rest of the people lied to nearly one-third of the people. It’s amazing that lying is so second-nature to people.

So, I think it’s nice to say, “Don’t lie,” but it’s just not realistic. We do it to save other people’s feelings. We do it to protect ourselves. We do it to get what we want.

And sometimes it works.

Donald J. Trump is Chairman of The Trump Entrepreneur Initiative.

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25 Comments

[-] Posted by Cheryle on 02/19/2008 4:59 AM
Oh really Donald? You assume alot. What makes you think a single human mind knows the
Truth? If you measure your lies, what is the square feet of the biggest one you told? If you measure your lies with what you see, then why is a child's painting wrong if the color of the elephant is green, yet you insist that you have never seen a green elephant in Africa? Is the child lying because it wants to get an A+ in art class, or could the child have "seen" without having to associate the color with human values?
If you want to check your honesty, "be like a child." Until they are forced to accept adult values
they make no excuses for saying, "Mommy that dress looks awful on you. I like the pink one
better." Too bad if Mommy didn't like hearing her child's opinion! That, Donald is the Truth.
[-] Posted by member1727813 on 02/19/2008 5:32 AM
MR. Trump,
Have you ever lied to your business partner for some reason?
[-] Posted by William Yang on 02/19/2008 8:05 AM
you can lie for good, like tell a sick people that his condition is better, for motivation. But never lie into something that risk your integrity
[-] Posted by lightwayvez on 02/19/2008 11:56 AM
Odd, when I imagine protecting myself or others around me,

I was taught telling the truth paid off in the end.

More over lieing is an infinite risk against time management.

Telling the truth is finite and absolute where one can calculate the outcome.

Besides telling the truth can be fun.

Acting on a lie will waste valuable time and avoid real answers to real questions.

A lie is irrelevant clutter, and life is as organized as you make it.

lightwayvez
------------------
[-] Posted by member1725332 on 02/19/2008 1:54 PM
The first lie that created civilization was the grandest one of all. That one was, of course, about immortality. Truth be told, life sucks knowing that you are going to die therefore lying is a necessity so that at least while we are on this insane Earth we may live with a certain sense of reality.

If the universe is 13.7 billion years old then how can a blink of life that is me or you be real?

That's like saying you are worth 13.7 billion dollars but all you actually have in your pocket is a dollar.

Lying works.

And sometimes it doesn't work.
[-] Posted by Security Futures Products LLC on 02/19/2008 2:30 PM
Dear Trump U., There is a phrase that goes, " A fish dose not get caugth until it opens it's mouth". Lies can often be traced to a single strong individual- The Stirrer, ( Mr. Vinnie & Mr. Piers). The truth is often avoied because it is ugly and unpleasant. Never appeal to truth and reality unless you are prepared for the anger that comes from disenchantment. Life is so harsh and distressing that people who can manufacture, lies, romance or conjure up fantasies are like oases in the desert: Everyone flocks to them. There is great power in tapping into the fantasies of the masses. to be continued, charitablechildcare@yahoo.com
[-] Posted by member1730218 on 02/19/2008 4:09 PM
To tell you the TRUTH; I'm so sick of liars that I could just spit bricks!!! Lying people interfere with my agenda regularly, and it seems like their life's mission is to thwart my efforts, frustrate and annoy me at every opportunity. I tell the truth because, frankly, lying is way too much trouble. I have no desire to devote that much energy, trying to keep a mntal log of what lie was used yesterday. Of course, I guess one could commend devoted liars for their negative creativity. If you appreciate that kind of talent. I think there is a pill somewhere for that. Look in your DSM IV for Obsessive Compulsive Psychopathologies, under compulsive liars. They should be somewhere near compulsive gamblers, thieves, and other labels for lack of SELF Control. For God's sake; GET A GRIP!!!! I just don't want to afford much time to people who want to weave misery like so many rugs. (Bad JOKE: They LIE like one.)
[-] Posted by u312200 on 02/19/2008 6:51 PM
I agree. We all lie to each other.
[-] Posted by member1730304 on 02/19/2008 6:53 PM
Donald, I agree that we all are liars. However, I think the older we get the more we should learn from the lies we told so we never have to tell them again. In other words, the older you get the less lies you should tell. I think that's why the world is the way it is, because we are dishonest more than we are honest. At the end of the day, honesty will always be the best policy. While we as people sometimes use lies to get what we want, I think those who tell the truth to get what they want have a step above liars. I say only use lies when neccessary.
www.tippertantrum.blogspot.com
[-] Posted by William Yang on 02/19/2008 7:04 PM
I've lied several times in the past, but it always bring me into a bad situation.

Today, I rather face the truth even it was a painful one. strangely it always bring me into a good position.
[-] Posted by E. Rizzo on 02/19/2008 9:25 PM
Speak for yourself, Mr. Trump! (just kidding) Interesting topic...I'm not lying, it truly is. This is such a broad subject... I could go on for days about this, no lie. But, I'll spare you - honestly.

It seems as though the people who took the time to survey people about lying, were just trying to make themselves feel better about their lying.

Lies and the liars who tell them... to lie, or, not to lie - that is the question. Of course, I would be lying if I said that I had never told a lie, but, as you mentioned, there are different types of lies. And, there are different degrees of lying.

If you were raised in a religious family, you would know that lying does not come easily. Have you ever heard the phrase, "The truth shall set you free!" That's the God's Honest Truth. I know plenty of people who tell the truth on a regular basis...and, it's refreshing. When you are surrounded by liars, how can you enjoy life? Your time is spent trying to figure out what lie they are going to tell next. Then, when they do tell the truth... how can you believe them? They lie all of the time. What about the boy who cried wolf? That story, alone, was enough to keep me from lying too much when I was kid. And, you know what happens when you don't lie? You can instantly tell when someone else is lying. Rather than call them on it...you just wait until their lies catch up with them...because, invariably...they ALWAYS DO!

If people think it's cool to run around lying about everything, they are only lying to themselves, because, lie upon lie...will build up and bite you in the arse! Guaranteed! It may not happen happen immediately, but the truth always comes out in the end.

As children, we are taught that George Washington never told a lie...and heard about the integrity of Honest Abe, and it gave us something to strive for... it left that impression on me, anyway. But, who do children of today have to look up to... George W. Bush? The leader of the free world is the biggest LIAR of all! It's no wonder we have a whole country of lying ****s.

George Ross doesn't strike me as a liar. From what I've read about Fred C. Trump... he didn't seem like a liar. Barack Obama is pretty transparent... same with Malcolm X...he told the truth about his life in his autobiography, and it wasn't pretty...for the most part. He lied a lot, growing up, because he thought that is what he had to do to survive.

My point is that it is important to be truthful to yourself... if you're lying to yourself, you're lying to everyone. The sad part is that people don't even realize they're doing it... it's like a knee-jerk reaction. Of course you don't tell your wife the truth... (hypothetical)...nobody does, do they? I've known men like this...their gentlemen's agreement. It's cool to lie to their wives or girlfriends, but you can share those lies with other guys...and, it's an unwritten rule - you never tell the truth to the ladies. And, if one of the guys slips up and his wife finds out the truth... he's supposed to deny, deny, deny.

I never realized just how much people lied until I began working in the business world... I was executive assistant to men (and one big, fat lying woman) who did nothing but lie...all day long. Looking back, none of the liars ever really evolved as people. Some, eventually had serious problems...either with their business, or, personally. They tried to short-cut everything, instant gratification mentality, and were completely miserable...ALL THE TIME! Then, they would wonder why they were so miserable. I once said, "Well, maybe if you got yourself out of your web of lies, you could relax and enjoy life." Unfortunately, that person did not want to hear the truth.

Lying too much to kids about their ability is not good either. Parents do it to spare their kid's feelings. Too much of it, though, gives children a false sense of themselves and the real world.
[-] Posted by member1487403 on 02/20/2008 12:45 AM
You can be honest at times without being cruel ,as you can have a positive outlook in the midst of negativity and not be a liar. Use your best judgement and remember the outcome of your actions isn't always immediate.
[-] Posted by Mary Rose on 02/20/2008 6:11 AM
As a small child, whenever we went to visit a relative, my Mom spent the whole two hour journey telling us what not to say. It felt terrible. This was so extreme that I vowed to always and everywhere to tell the truth. Sometimes I get labeled as rude, but many people are very glad that they know that I will be a straight-shooter with them. It is amazing that people feel that they need to tell little white lies. When people know that you always tell the truth, they don't ask your opinion, unless they want the truth- so lies become much less frequent. If you know that you can't lie- then you also know that you can't cheat- so people trust you.

The last deliberate lie that I told was 7 years ago. Someone was trying to force me to stop doing something that I needed to do to help my child grow up straight and tall- so I told them that I stopped while I continued to do what needed to be done. Even then, I could only keep that up for three months- I ended up telling them the truth and they never trusted me again- which was fine with me. When someone uses their power over you in ways that would be destructive to your children, you have to get them out of your life. I just regret that I couldn't stand up to them from the beginning.

On the other hand, I tell accidental lies all the time. I want to do so much. I have the soul of an eagle in the body of a mouse. So I am always telling people what I want to do and then am unable to keep a lot of my promises. So now, I always try to say that I will try to do something- rather than telling them that I will. I still lie to myself though.

The thing that gets me through is knowing that I am a real jumping mouse. In the legend of Jumping Mouse, a mouse tries to get to the mountains to live. Along the journey, Jumping Mouse meets many greater creatures and gives them help. Every time he gives that help, he loses a part of what makes him a mouse- his feet, his ears, his eyes. When he finally is totally incapacitated, he feels like he is about to be eaten. At the very last second, he has the courage to jump one last time- and that is when the miracle happens! He ceases to be a mouse and becomes an eagle and lives all of the time on the mountain that he is trying to reach.

I've spent my life giving gifts to others- some have become rich and/or famous for the gift that I have given. I know that some day I'll become an eagle. But to be an eagle, I know that I have to keep an eagle's soul. Every time that you lie, you hurt yourself- you lose a little piece of yourself- you are not being true to yourself- you are lacking the courage to live with the truth. If you want to be an eagle and live in freedom- always tell the truth.
[-] Posted by member1517342 on 02/20/2008 8:47 AM
I agree we are all liars. Those who know me, also know don't ask if you don't want my truth. I have no problem telling the truth, when someone asks for my truth. However, I have tons of fun lying, when others try to bring me down. Example: When I have issues, some friends will call, and want me to have a pity party. They will go on and on, about my problems and tell me how I must be feeling. This sends up a red flag, and I turn the table on them. If I was feeling bad when they called, I change my thoughts, and immediately feel good. They are shocked that I can still feel good and don't know what to say. They end up saying Oh, glad the problem isn't bothering you. Some people love when others have issues, and they want to discuss your pain. We all have issues, and anyone wanting to gain pleasure from my pain, will get a BIG FAT LIE. When I lie and say I feel great, it becomes true and I feel great. Maybe I should call them back and thank them for the opportunity to choose feeling good over bad. No, I like to tell BIG FAT LIES, to those that like seeing others in pain. Bottom line, Girls just want to have FUN!

Love your blogs Mr Trump
karen
[-] Posted by member1725332 on 02/20/2008 11:03 AM
1730218,

Yes, GET A GRIP!!!!

Liars have you wrapped around your pinky. So what you tell the truth-- you have no power to hold up your truth. If a liar has moved you, which is evident in your emotions, then it has more power than your truth.

Once you can stand strong in your truth and see liars for what they are (challenges to TRUTH) then it will make you a better, stronger person. You lack SELF control. I wouldn't be your business partner but I would do business would you-- it would be like stealing candy from a baby.
[-] Posted by Business 2000 Foundation.com on 02/20/2008 3:16 PM
A person has limits. Remember to understand interpetations. Try to play fair and to be honest with yourselves... In the "Art of War" of a general's briefing... is spying the same as a lie.

Interpetations...of knowing your limits. The difference between right and wrong. A person might be amazed on interpetations. My, oh my, how life changed!
[-] Posted by E. Rizzo on 02/20/2008 7:07 PM
I enjoyed reading all of the above comments. The mouse/eagle story was great! Also, Business 2000 Foundation brought up "interpretations." Interpretations...perceptions.

Because lying is such acceptable behavior, and expected by so many, it really puts those who tell the truth - more often than not, at a terrible disadvantage in so many cases.

For instance, if you don't become a part of a clique at work because you just don't have anything in common with other employees, and you are not interested in their petty, mindless conversations, you might be setting yourself up for a hard time. Many times, people become offended when you don't get excited about taking part in their after-work get togethers and parties. Before you know it, rumors are flying about you because they want you out. So, basically, other employees decide your fate because of their lies. And, because you are outnumbered, if you try to defend yourself, you are the one who appears to be lying.

A lot of it has to do with a certain level of maturity. And, unfortunately, some people behave like 12 year-olds, even beyond 40. I guess that the best way to deal with this is to find a better fit somewhere else. However, if you really love the company and the boss, another way of dealing with the liars is to put on an act so you can continue to work for the company. Yes, it is another form of lying, but you are doing it to preserve your place in the company. So, I would consider myself more of an actor - not a liar. I do a lot of acting because I just don't enjoy being around very many people. I don't go around telling malicious lies about people to get ahead, but I might pretend to be interested in a subject that I care nothing about, in order to not appear like a stuck-up snob. I'm not a stuck-up snob, but if you show no interest in your co-workers conversations about kareoke night at the local pub, or details about their puppy's new wardrobe - you might be labeled a snob.

So, as Mr. Trump said, sometimes we lie for acceptable reasons - survival.
[-] Posted by Mary Rose on 02/21/2008 5:43 AM
Somehow I thought that integrity was one of Donald Trump's and The Trump Entrepreneur Initiative's higher values. Then I saw this newsletter and realized that you preach on integrity (see http://www.trumpuniversity.com/mynetwork/inside-trump-tower/issue33.cfm). How can you have integrity and lie? Maybe Donald Trump feels that there is a difference between business integrity and personal integrity. Maybe that is why he is such a success in business and not such a success in other areas of his life. Integrity id important everywhere. And integrity means that you can be trusted to tell the truth.
[-] Posted by u229222 on 02/21/2008 12:46 PM
Mr. Trump,

After listening to your live speech you gave last year in New York.. I'm not surprised to hear you talk about this subject. You were talking about the foreclosure crisis that was and still is hitting in the US.. I won't repeat what you said, but it made a lot of sense.... or at least it could be a solution that could work out; if we have a lot of homeowner's insurance that is, right? LOL.

Business is cutthroat, there's no doubt about it; only the strong survive. As you also said, "the successful in business operate themselves competently under pressure." You once said that those people that truly respect your success understand the price you've had to pay in terms of your effort and stress that you've had to endure. On a personal level, you are one of my heros Mr. Trump, not because you are a fellow New Yorker, although I do like to boast to friends how New York has a man like Mr. Trump, lol.

But I think it's also fair to mention that to produce results like you have in business, it takes a lot of luck, too. So you can lie all you want, but in the end, God is still keeping the records.

David L.
New York
[-] Posted by Security Futures Products LLC on 02/21/2008 9:46 PM
Dear Trump U., Mr. Jermome Kerviel the 31 year old trader of Societe Generale equity derivatives desk. Amass $73 Billion in unauthorized positions in European stock index futures. He is charged with " breach of trust" among other crimes. Mr. Kerviel told prosecutors the bank's " complacency" made him think " IT " ( bank) knew what he was doing. Between June 2006 and the beginning of 2008 there were 75 red flags that should have alerted managers to Mr. Kerviel trades. The warning signs included a trade eith a maturity date on a Saturday, bets with "pending" counterparties and missing broker names. Ms. Brittney Spears don't have that many warning signes. So how does a Tom Cruise look-a-like get $73 Billion to changed hands? Say he had ten years experience and felt he should be given more or higher responibilities. In reality he had one year experience repeated ten times over again. Say he had authority issues and wanted to prove how flawed the bank system was. Then why did he leave the profit or loss on the table every night. We may never know the motive of people working with feelings of "complacency" of other people's money. Because in this business "Time Is Money".
[-] Posted by Anthony Matthews on 02/22/2008 4:11 PM
Lying is a SIN! Thank the Lord
[-] Posted by member1732231 on 02/24/2008 9:14 AM
I wish to thank you for your optimism. It is contagious.
You are right, all of us lie sometimes.
But lies have to have justification.Children do not lie.
And we are not children.
I am wondering who is bigger liar: politician, or business man?
[-] Posted by 13 Roses on 03/01/2008 6:43 PM
This is one of the best blogs that have been posted to this site and the responses have been fantastic! Personally, I hate lies. I can ususally tell a lie from a mile away. It is very difficult if not impossible for me to reconcile with friends when they lie because it so lowers my opinion of them.

I wonder what would have happened when God asked Adam if he had eaten of the forbidden fruit if he had just said "yes" instead of lying and trying to cover up his mistake...

I'm not so sure if "telling a lie" is the real issue, or "feeling the need to tell a lie" is the issue. Personally, I do not involve myself with people who feel the need to tell lies.

I would recommend Debra Benton's article on "Honesty" because I totally agree with her perspective on truth and integrity. It was posted on your blog site Mr. Trump, remember?
[-] Posted by Zarina Azman on 03/13/2008 11:47 AM
Teacher zarina from Malaysia.
I have had to be extra nice and pretenciuos in parties filled with glam and socialites.It zaps my energy actually. I can smile through an ordeal like bad mother -in -law dinner. Or multi racial festivities where incense and noise are abundant. Well Malaysians are always tolerant and are generous with complements. It makes someone's day brighter so at least a white lie or half truth can ease up tensions and create harmony. In my Malay culture horrid details about one's problems are usually kept to one self. It is called tact and dignity. Anyone who had to lie to save his skin hopefully does not become an excuse finder. Excuses make others feel sceptical about your abilities and genuinely your reliability. Truth is good for business to run smoothly and avoid misinformation. However let positivity spread and bad rumours or defaming others be under wraps. I choose to remain in a neutral position when faced with such interrogation, or a plain " I cannot really confirm on that, I get back to you on that later."So, I didn't lie or give wrong info.
[-] Posted by Rachael Sutton #1253595 on 12/18/2008 12:48 AM
When it comes to lying, draw yourself a Bell curve. Now put Total liar on the left end, and Total Truth teller on the right end. This is a visual of how we stack up on the honesty scale. All you have to do is figure out where you stand on the bell. Personally, I prefer to be as honest as I can, and direct too. It simplifies life and usually saves time. I also prefer like-minded displays of integrity.
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