The romantic comedy version of life goes a little something like this: boy meets girl or boy, hijinks and adversity ensue, yet they persevere to find some level of enduring domestic bliss.

In real life, many people find themselves sharply reassessing where and how they live because of divorce, death and the need to downsize.

Take the situation of Jill Proseilo, who remains somewhat in home limbo after a 2008 divorce from her husband.

They had purchased their townhouse in north Burnaby only three years before the split; it didn't make financial sense to sell, and she liked the neighbourhood.

"We remained really good friends, so it's not like we became those people who put in a line of tape dividing the house in half," she jokes.

"But he did move out, and that meant suddenly all I had was a coffee table and two chairs." Her three-bedroom, 2.5-bath townhouse covers 1,585 square feet.

With friends on their way for a visit and other commitments looming, Proseilo was in a hurry to do over her home. She snapped up a package deal for a kitchen table and chairs and two sofas from a furniture store in Richmond. She also took on a roommate to offset some of the financial strain, and contemplated converting an entire bedroom into a closet.

She now has someone new in her life, and is unsure whether that ultimately will mean a change in where she lives -which leaves her with the dilemma of how much time and money to spend on her existing home.

As show manager of the B.C. Home and Garden Show, Proseilo has access to some of the best interior and furniture designers in the business, but she's having difficulty deciding where to start in order to give her home a fresh look. It still has the original paint on the walls.

That hesitation is something Erik Lauzon, principal of Vancouver's Konstruk Design, has heard before.

"Some of my male clients, they're in their forties or fifties, and they're just coming out of a 20-or 30-year marriage," he says. "They have no idea what to do with a home because it's something their wives have always taken care of. It's not just furniture. They have no idea how to buy towels or bedding."

When it comes to dealing with the shock of death or divorce, Lauzon's first advice is to do nothing. He says people are anxious and upset.

To try and feel better -more settled -they rush around filling up the new space as rapidly as possible.

In Proseilo's case, her lightning-quick buy worked out, but Lauzon estimates 80 per cent of the clients who do impulse purchasing on their own regret acquiring the new furniture within two months.

"This is not the time for regrets," he says. "Nobody likes wasting money, even people who have money."

While it may be tempting to indulge in the space you think you want, Lauzon points out you have to consider long-term use of your space. If you create a "man cave" with a huge, puffy, leather sofa and a massive TV, there won't be enough room in an apartment for a dining space. Too much pink and lace and too many frills, and people might be uncomfortable visiting.

Lauzon recommends sitting down to make up a wish list, identifying priorities, and then putting the piece of paper away.

A week later, take it out and reassess what to get first, and build from there.

When finances are a concern, he says, it's most important to get the best possible mattress and sofa, and to then make the math work for anything else on top of that. Poor quality on major items like beds and couches is noticeable fairly quickly, and will require the purchasing of replacement furniture within several years. That can get expensive over time.

Use an interior designer or a trusted friend as a sounding board to provide some sober second thought on more extravagant ideas.

In Proseilo's scenario, designating a room as a dressing area with storage for shoes and handbags and an area for applying makeup makes sense, since she has the room, says Lauzon.

"I have other clients who have wanted to do something similar. I always ask them first what would happen if they met someone new. If they say that they would keep their original place anyway, then we move ahead."

A split can be an opportunity to refresh an existing home.

Proseilo's former husband had one bedroom entirely dedicated to Edmonton Oilers memorabilia; that's all been removed. Lauzon says a fresh coat of paint can work wonders for making an existing place feel brand new, as can consulting with someone with a good eye to moving furniture to a different layout.

With clients who are dealing with a death, the interior designer says it's important to assess how ready they are to move on in revamping the home. Moving too quickly or drastically, and guilt will be added to the grieving. He suggests keeping 10 things that will help keep the memory of the lost loved one alive.

Downsizers often have the urge, and the means, to furnish a new space from scratch. They may not live in the home full-time (in favour of travel), and may not have the energy or the desire to keep updating it.

Lauzon recommends going with a classic palette of neutrals in both the furniture and the walls, except for a few accent walls.

Incorporate a few treasured items of artwork or memorabilia from the former family home as anchor points and to personalize the space, but otherwise, keep it simple. Keeping the look current comes down to swapping out inexpensive accessories every so often.

Proseilo is creeping closer to making a move on updating her home.

A theoretical budget has been set, she's considered some of the things she can do herself, and pages are being torn from design magazines. After all, she figures it's about time for a fresh start.

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