By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
SEPTEMBER 5, 2010
ORLANDO, FLA. AT UNIVERSAL STUDIOS
LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW

-The show opened with a video package showing the four semi-finalists in the TNA World Title tournament arriving at the arena. Kurt Angle was with his kids. Soundbites aired from each, including Angle saying he had a different plan devised to march through the top ten, but then Rob Van Dam was injured and stripped of the title. Clips aired of the tension between the two semi-final pairings. Angle said he promised the fans he'd never lose again, but he did thanks to Jeff Hardy, but "thank God it was a tag match."

-Mike Tenay and Tazz introduced the show as pryo blasted in the Impact Zone (although it sounded a little more like sputtering than blasting). Tenay announced that due to a personal issue, London Brawling would not get the scheduled tag team title shot.

1 -- MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS (Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin) vs. GENERATION ME (Max & Jeremy Buck) -- TNA World Tag Team Titles

Taz and Tenay talked about GenMe being "Christian athletes." If you feel a little uneasy with religion being introduced into a pro wrestling gimmick, you're not alone. Shawn Michaels decided quickly after being Born Again to keep that in the background of his on-air persona. It's also a bit odd to have a team named "Generation Me" invoke religion to their on-air characters. Even odder, Taz talked about them "bitching and moaning" about deserving a tag team title shot and said they seem to have attitudes now and "that's great." Tenay applauded the decision to put GenMe in place of London Brawling. Taz said it's all well and good being Christian athlete, but they need to be "bad asses."

They opened in second gear (these two teams are pretty much never in first gear) and picked up the pace by about 3:00 with some rapid-fire offense by the Guns. By 5:00 GenMe were scoring near falls and some fans chanted "This is awesome!" The Guns made a comeback and also scored some two counts. After some ringside spots at 10:00, four-way action broke out followed by chaotic near falls and saves. Shelley then leaped off the top rope and hit Max with the Skull & Bone finisher as he was held by Sabin for the pin.

WINNERS: Machine Guns in 12:00 to retain the TNA Tag Team Titles.

STAR RATING: *** -- Nice action, more disciplined than some other matches of this type in TNA PPV history with a nice build toward the climax at the end.

-Afterward GenMe jumped the celebrating Guns. The crowd chanted "You suck! You suck!" at GenMe. They focused on Shelley's neck and DDT'd him off the ring apron. So they're doing a heel Christian tag team act? I wonder if TNA is going to downplay the Christian athlete aspect or play up the hypocrisy of GenMe not practicing what Jesus Christ preached. Medics tended to Shelley at ringside afterward as he clutched his neck. He was helped to the back.

-They went to Tenay and Taz at ringside who talked about the rest of the line-up.

2 -- DOUGLAS WILLIAMS vs. SABU -- TNA X Division Title Match

Williams came out to new "techo-like Euro Englo crazy funky Euro thing going on there" intro music, as Taz described it. This is like those early UFC PPVs with two very different styles matched against each other, with Sabu's high-flying vs. Williams's submission approach. Taz said Sabu was X Division before there was an X Division. Taz gave credit to Williams for being a fighting champion. Sabu applied a headlock at the start. Williams came back with a cobra clutch and then an armbar. Sabu cameback with a partial camel clutch at 3:00. Williams forced a break in the ropes and slid to ringside. Sabu flip dove over the top rope onto Williams.

Sabu pulled a table out from under the ring. Williams recovered as Sabu set the table up and threw Sabu back into the ring. Williams hit Sabu with a flying elbow off the second rope. Sabu knocked Williams off balance on the top rope at 5:00. Sabu went for a huracanrana off the ropes and it looked a bit botched. Tenay said Williams attempted a counter, although in the end, Williams took the bump off the ropes anyway. Sabu brought a chair into the ring. When ref Earl Hebner scolded him, Taz said he must not have ever refereed in a Bingo Hall before. "Where was Earl Hebner when I needed him?" Taz chuckled. Sabu springboard moonsaulted Williams for a two count. Williams tripped Sabu into a chair Sabu had set up in the ring and took over control. Williams celebrated with his signature head gyration, then continued to work over Sabu with what Tenay called "low-risk wrestling that can have plenty of reward." Taz said it's an approach that can extend your career, "although it didn't work for me."

At 10:00 Sabu leaped off of a chair and hit Williams with his legs in the corner. Williams kicked the chair into Sabu seconds later and then hit a gut-wrench suplex for a two count. Hebner got in the path of Sabu as he wanted to launch off of a chair onto Williams. Sabu protested and Hebner moved. Sabu then went ahead with the leap off of the chair and hit Williams at ringside. He set Williams on the table, but Williams moved when Sabu flipped over the top rope with a flip legdrop. Taz said Ric Flair likes Williams's intelligence as a wrestler, since Flair showed such intelligence in his career constantly getting caught on the top rope. When Hebner yanked a hair away from Sabu, Williams quickly hit Sabu in the face with his title belt as Hebner shoved the chair out of the ring. That was enough for the pin.

WINNER: Williams in 12:00.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Had the typical strengths and weaknesses of Sabu's style, but Williams was actually a good match for him as Sabu kept the match moving and Williams kept Sabu's tendency toward random consequence-free highspots in check.

-Christy Hemme interviewed Mr. Anderson, who mockingly cried in reaction to The Pope saying he doesn't like or trust him. He said he doesn't care because he's in TNA to win championships.

3 -- VELVET SKY (w/Angelina Love) vs. MADISON RAYNE (w/Tara)

Taz compared the Beautiful People's ring entrance to Lou Theszs's. Taz shouted to let the pigeons out as they entered the ring. Rayne threw some really lousy looking punches early that obviously hit nothing but Sky's long hair as she had her mounted on the mat. When Tara was going to hit Sky with her motor cycle helmet at ringside, Love stopped her. Sky then finished Rayne seconds later with a DDT.

WINNER: Sky in 3:00.

-Hemme interviewed Hardy backstage whose hair and face looked like a blue lava lamp melted over it. Hardy said he's win in honor of RVD.

4 -- RHINO vs. ABYSS -- Falls Count Anywhere Match

Rhino came out first. As Abyss made his entrance, Rhino charged up the aisle after him. They brawled at ringside briefly, then Rhino threw Abyss into the ring. Rhino then threw a trash can and apparatus into the ring. Rhino sling-shot himself over the top rope onto Abyss's back on the floor. They had a stand-up brawl backstage, then worked their way back to the ring at 4:00. They brawled back toward the stage. Rhino threw Abyss through the wall of the stage. Rhino followed after him. The ref followed behind. Then the cameraman followed and seemed to get knocked over sideways. They cut to Tenay and Taz at 6:00. Tenay said he could hear them fighting underneath the stage. They popped out the other side. Taz said: "Who's gonna pay for this? They're wrecking the joint!" They brawled back to the ring as the crowd chanted "Let's go Rhino!"

Back at the ring Abyss grabbed a segment of the ring barrier and set it in the corner. There's a first. Rhino avoided Abyss's whip into the corner and then attacked him with a cookie sheet. Abyss chokeslammed Rhino onto a trash can for a two count at 10:00. Taz said Abyss is frustrated, and no one's safe if he snaps. Rhino fired back with a Gore for a near fall. Abyss came back and set up the guard rail segment in the corner again. Rhino fired back with a clothesline. Abyss sidestepped a Gore attempted, threw Rhino into the guard rail, gave him a Black Hole Slam, and scored the pin.

WINNER: Abyss in 12:00.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Better than average garbage match. Some new spots and sequences and no thumb tacks, no broken glass, no chairshots to the head, and no excessive bleeding. Thumbs up for telling a story without overplaying all of the above.

-A segment aired on Samoa Joe agreeing to team with Jeff Jarrett. A good line from Joe: "Here's the thing, Jeff Jarrett came to me with a handful of problems. I won't solve your problems; I have enough of my own." They showed Nash saying Joe says he doesn't take sides, but his jaw says something else. This was filmed backstage after Impact. Nash was sweating and clearly catching his breath, and it felt more like real sports. He said Jarrett has the power and stroke and making sure people are getting paid, so Joe has joined the side with the paychecks, not the team of two lone wolves nearing the end of their careers. He said he can't blame him and said he taught him well. Jarrett said the way Nash and Sting are playing is not good for business under any circumstances. It was a long feature for a PPV, but it's the type of video package that really sets TNA apart from WWE and makes what TNA is doing feel more like a high-end sport and less schmaltzy. The challenge now is for them to get enough confidence with this approach to build the brand around it and get rid of a lot of the other content and characters and storylines that undercut what these types of segments communicate to viewers.

5 -- KEVIN NASH & STING vs. JEFF JARRETT & SAMOA JOE

Tenay sent a shout-out to Hulk Hogan, saying he was recuperating from further back issues. He said he knows he's watching the show tonight. "Nobody knows. We don't know what Nash and Sting are talking about," said Taz. Tenay agreed, saying they're just vague references, but nothing definitive. Joe knocked Nash down in the opening minute with a flying flat dropkick. Sting tagged in and Joe went to work on him with rapid-fire offense in the corner. Joe tagged in Jarrett. Nash hit Jarrett from the ring apron and knocked him off balance, giving Sting an opening. Tenay said there will not be an Impact on Thursday night, but they'll return on Sept. 16. That seems like such a bad move from Spike TV and TNA to just concede against the NFL opener between the Vikings and Saints. It's like the NFL paid them to step aside and send all TNA regulars over to the NFL's Thursday schedule.

Taz said he wishes they had more answers for the TNA audience over what this feud is all about, but they don't. Tenay began touting all of the advancements in TNA since Bischoff and Hogan arrived. Tenay said Nash and Sting are clearly trying to hang onto the top spot with the new sheriffs in town. Taz said sometimes guys get paranoid, and admitted he was back in the day. Sting hit a Stinger Splash against Jarrett at 3:00. At 5:00 Joe dove through the ropes at Nash. In the ring, Sting dropped Jarrett throat-first over the top rope. Jarrett surprised Sting by using his baseball bat against him. Joe re-entered the ring and applied a sleeper mid-ring. Sting passed out and the ref called for the bell. Tenay said he understands Jarrett using the bat given all circumstances. Joe carried Sting's bat to the back with him.

WINNERS: Joe & Jarrett in 6:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Nash wasn't in there much. Pretty short to amount to much.

-A video package aired on the EV2-Fortune storyline.

6 -- A.J. STYLES vs. TOMMY DREAMER -- I Quit Match

Styles began his ring entrance, but he ended up hiding behind part of the entrance structure. Dreamer came out sporting a near beard. Styles charged at Dreamer from behind, but Dreamer turned in time and took control right away. They fought in the ring for a few minutes, and it was strange seeing Dreamer wrestle without weapons involved. They brawled up the ramp at 4:00 where Dreamer choked Styles with a cable, but Styles didn't quit. The crowd battled with chants for both wrestlers. Dreamer threw a chair into the ring, then rolled Styles into the ring. Dreamer took Styles down with an armbar and didn't use the chair. Styles yelled in pain, but didn't quit. Dreamer put Styles's arm in the chair and stomped on it.

They brawled to the floor where Styles took over offense at 10:00. Styles applied a figure-four around the ringpost at 11:00. Dreamer refused to quit. Tenay asked how much pain and punishment one man could take. Styles dropped Dreamer knee-first over a chair center-ring. At 13:00 Dreamer finally made a comeback and reversed Styles into a leglock wrapped in a chair. The crowd chanted for Dreamer to use a fork. Dreamer swung it at Styles, but Styles ducked and hit a Pele kick. Styles flew through the ropes toward Dreamer, but Dreamer had grabbed a kendo stick and swung it into Styles's gut. Dreamer then gave Styles a pump-handle suplex with the Kendo stick. Dreamer ripped off his t-shirt revealing a black sleeveless top with gold markings. Taz said it looks inspired by Trans-Am.

Dreamer applied an STF type hold with a kendo stick on Styles. He broke it across Styles's forehead. Styles nailed Dreamer with the fork. Taz got serious and said he stuck Dreamer in the eye. Dreamer kneeled in the corner. Styles yanked him away and then shoved the fork into Dreamer's eye. Dreamer screamed in pain. The camera zoomed in as Styles pressed the flat of the fork against Dreamer's eye. Dreamer yelled, "I quit!" He covered his eyes in pain. Taz said it was one of the most graphic things he's ever seen. Tenay said you can't endorse the way Styles won the match. Why not? Are there rules or no rules? Did Dreamer not use weapons and objects?

WINNER: Styles in 16:00.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- One of Dreamer's better matches, which is a big compliment to Styles, but I wasn't crazy about the fork finish. There's a way to use the fork to hurt someone which is jabbing it into their eye, and everyone knows it. Pressing the flat part of the prongs against the eyelid made it look like Styles was choosing to take it easy on Dreamer, yet Dreamer sold it like he was piercing his eyeball. It's just really tough to go there with a fork and not end up with some eye rolling, no pun intended.

-Hemme interviewed Angle backstage. He said losing is not an option. He said he is the greatest wrestler in the world and he is TNA. He said he will beat Hardy and go on to win the TNA World Title. He seemed distant with a glazed look in his eyes, almost like he had just witnessed a bad car accident, but maybe he was selling having his "game face" on.

7 -- JEFF HARDY vs. KURT ANGLE -- TNA World Title Tournament Semi-Finals

The long streak of wrestling announcers not using the "if you look (blank) in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of (blank)" ended with Taz using it for "unpredicable" and "Jeff Hardy." Even Mr. Cliche Todd Grisham stays away from that "classic." They showed Dixie Carter had made her way to ringside to watch. Tenay and Taz said security advised against her being there, but the stakes were so high she insisted on it. She had two security guards standing behind her. Angle dominated the offense with methodical mat work and suplexes.

Angle went for a top rope moonsault, but Hardy moved at 9:00. Hardy came off the top rope with a Whisper in the Wind for a two count. Angle rolled to the floor. Hardy pursued him. Hardy gave Angle a Twist of Fate at ringside. He then climbed to the top rope and flip splashed onto Angle. "Jesus Christmas," exclaimed Taz. He said Hardy "can care less what happens to his body." (He meant Hardy "couldn't care less.") Angle came back at 12:00 with a released German suplex. Angle winced as he climbed to the top rope. He hit a top rope splash for a near fall. The crowd chanted "This is awesome!" as both men were slow to get up. Hardy hit a Swanton for a near fall. He landed another for another near fall. He went for a third, but Angle lifted his knees.

At 14:00 Angle hit an Angle slam for a two count. Angle applied an anklelock next, but Hardy powered out of it and sent Angle flying through the ropes to the floor. Hardy flipped onto Angle at ringside. Back in the ring Angle surprised Hardy with another ankelock. He stopped Hardy from powering out. Hardy crawled toward the bottom rope. Hardy couldn't reach it at first, but finally touched it. Angle released it and then immediately reapplied it. Tenay said there's potential for long-term damage at this point. Hardy eventually kicked out of it. Angle fired back with a clothesline for a two count. Angle reapplied the anklelock yet again.

Taz said if Hardy is fighting for RVD, he must really love him. Hardy tried to grab the rope, but Angle yanked him back to the ring and dropped to the mat and twisted on it. They're trying to make this dramatic by stretching these anklelocks out this long, but it reached the point that it began weakening the perceived effectiveness of the hold itself. As Hardy was about to tap, the bell rang and the 20 minute time limit expired. There was no talk of there being a time limit until the bell rang, which Joe may like, but in this case it made the finish seem more outrageous. It's like not having a game clock in a hockey or basketball game.

The crowd chanted for "five more minutes." Eric Bischoff walked out to his entrance music. He had a chat with Dixie at ringside. Bischoff said they have no choice but to add another five minutes on the clock. Taz said that's a good move. They put a countdown clock on the big screen. That was handy to have available on a whim. Angle went right back to working over the ankle. At 0:45, Hardy kicked Angle out of the ring to escape. There wasn't much of a pop. Hardy struggled to stand, but he did eventually go after Ankle at ringside with a swing kick. Back in the ring Hardy climbed to the top rope, but Angle knocked him off balance. They showed Dixie chatting with Bischoff at ringside. Angle gave Hardy an Angle slam off the top rope. Angle was slow to make the cover, and Hardy ended up kicking out. The length of this match explains the methodical one-sided start to the match. The crowd chanted "This is awesome" as they were recovering enough to get up. Angle charged at Hardy, but Hardy backdropped him over the top rope. Now we got a countdown clock. Angle rolled up Hardy in the ring for a near fall. Hardy kicked out. They collided with simultaneous clotheslines. They showed Bischoff rubbing his temples at ringside as Hardy kicked out of a pin attempt with one second left on the clock. The buzzer sounded a couple seconds later. The crowd chanted "Five More Minutes." Bischoff announced that they had no choice but to add five more minutes. Bischoff made it seem like this was just excruciating for him to announce, and it's not clear why. Either have a time limit or don't. If you don't want a time limit draw, then don't have a time limit to begin with. But if you're going to waive a time limit draw because you want a finish, don't fret so much over extending it.

After several minutes of Angle beating on Hardy, Hardy sent Angle into the ringside steps and Angle came up bleeding. Hardy applied a Boston Crab with a minute left. Angle escaped and applied an anklelock. The time limit expired again. Bischoff entered the ring. The ref tried to stop Angle from going after Hardy. Angle asked for more time. Bischoff said he wanted a doctor to check on the cut on his face. Bischoff, meanwhile, put on a headset at ringside and watched something from the production truck on a small monitor. Bischoff then told the referee something. Then trainers, who had checked Angle's cut, told Bischoff something. Bischoff said the cut is just too deep so they're going to declare this match a no contest. They cut to Dixie again shaking her head at ringside. Shannon Moore ran out to check on his friend, Hardy. Taz asked, "What more could Bischoff do?"

WINNER: No contest in 30:00.

STAR RATING: ****1/2 -- Very good match. These two really aimed high for an epic match, and despite a little bit of an overly one-sided methodical opening 10-plus minutes, overall it was memorable and felt PPV-worthy. The drama with the two overtime overrode some of the melodrama with Bischoff and Dixie's acting at ringside. That finish explains why they didn't headline with Angle-Hardy, but instead Anderson-Pope.

-Hemme interviewed The Pope backstage. He advised everyone to put their money on him. Pope said Anderson is not only an asshole, but a smelly one at that. He said he smells like a diaper filled with piss and vinegar. He then said if TNA was a big hole in the sky, he's giving it an enema and the first thing to come out is going to be Mr. Anderson. That felt like a Russo Special, and it was way too much. Just unpleasant and heavy-handed.

8 -- "THE POPE" D'ANGELO DINERO vs. MR. ANDERSON -- TNA World Hvt. Title Tournament Semi-Finals

Some intense chain wrestling early. Then Pope went on sustained offense. He applied a keylock at 5:00. Anderson came back and controlled the action for five minutes with some two counts. Pope made a comeback at 10:00. He dove onto the back of Anderson over the second rope and slide to the floor. Pope dove onto Anderson at ringside at 13:00, but sold an injured shoulder after his landing. They started countering each other at 15:00 and scoring two counts on one another. Pope kicked out after a Mic Check. Pope came back with a barrage of punches in the corner. Anderson avoided his DDE finisher and then hit another Mic Check for the clean win. Anderson announced himself as the winner and said he's one match away from being TNA World Champion.

WINNER: Mr. Anderson in 17:00 to advance to the TNA World Title finals.

STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Decent basic match that felt a little stretched out. It had a hard act to follow and didn't feel worthy of that final slot. The 20 minute time limit in this case actually took some drama away from the final minutes because you knew it had to end since they wouldn't be doing two 20 minute time limits in a row. It's pretty lame in general to have 20 minute time limits on PPV suddenly after decades of PPV main events often lasting longer than 20 minutes. It's just one of those situations where TNA has a booking idea in mind and books backwards perforce without regard to logic or precedent, and it cheapens the product and weakens the effectiveness ultimately of what they do.

-The PPV ended at 10:51 p.m. ET.

Keep reading! Below are links to the ten most recent TNA PPVs articles... (or click here to return to front page main listing).

CALDWELL'S TNA NO SURRENDER PPV RESULTS 9/5: Complete "virtual time" coverage of live PPV - Angle vs. Hardy, Pope vs. Anderson

KELLER'S TNA NO SURRENDER PPV RESULTS 9/5: Ongoing coverage of TNA World Title semi-finals, Nash & Sting vs. Jarrett & Samoa Joe

TNA HARDCORE JUSTICE RESULTS 8/8: Keller's ongoing results of live PPV from South Phila... Orlando, home of Disney World!

CALDWELL'S TNA HARDCORE JUSTICE PPV RESULTS 8/8: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of ECW-themed PPV headlined by RVD vs. Sabu

TNA VICTORY ROAD RESULTS 7/11: Keller's ongoing "virtual time" coveage of live PPV event

CALDWELL'S TNA VICTORY ROAD PPV RESULTS 7/11: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage live on-site from Orlando - four-way TNA Title match, Flair vs. Lethal

TNA SLAMMIVERSARY RESULTS 6/13: Keller's ongoing results including Rob Van Dam vs. Sting

CALDWELL'S TNA SLAMMIVERSARY RESULTS 6/13: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of live PPV - RVD vs. Sting, Hardy & Anderson, "nice surprise"

CALDWELL'S TNA SACRIFICE RESULTS 5/16: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of PPV - RVD vs. Styles, Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson

TNA SACRIFICE PPV RESULTS 5/16: Keller's ongoing live coverage - RVD vs. Styles, Kennedy vs. Jeff Hardy, Sting vs. Jarrett

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