Kody Brown the polygamist begins by telling viewers he agreed to be on a reality show because he wanted "to come out of the closet." Not because he's gay, but because he has three wives and 12 -- soon to be 13 -- children. He didn't want to hide his lifestyle any more, he said, and he wanted others to understand what sister wives are all about, and what it means to be the husband and father in a so-called plural family. And so he invited TLC and its cameras into his big home, in a seven-part series called Sister Wives that premiered Sunday night.
Kody, a handsome sensible guy who openly cherishes his wives and his kids, walks the viewers through the home's three separate apartments, with their separate kitchens and bedrooms, and chats about rotating his conjugal services and often gets confused about what door he's walking through ("I don't have my own space") and it's clear that this is a loving home where everyone wanders back and forth among apartments, sharing cooking and childrearing duties.
This is the real-life version of the HBO hit Big Love, a scripted tale of a man with multi wives, and just one of numerous big and small screen shows focusing on the subject of polygamy, including an upcoming movie starring Kathryn Heigl based on the story of Carolyn Jessop, who escaped a polygamist sect. An illegal practice, polygamy is nevertheless practised in both Canada and the U.S., and has been the subject of several lawsuits and high-profile court cases in recent years, which may account for its new pop culture predominance.
Sister Wives is many things, but mostly it's fascinating, a surprising eyeopener for those who have lots of opinion on the subject, if not knowledge. The moms, dad and kids speak openly and honestly, and the sister wives are all smart and articulate, making no bones about why they've chosen the lifestyle they have and what it means to them individually and as a unit. They make no apologies and offer no excuses. Plural marriage works for them, they say, and they're happy to tell you why, and if they seem at times like some kind of Stepford version of a polygamy ad campaign, all pretty and polished, listening to them talk about their upbringing, about their roles in the family (Christine is the stay-at-home mom while the two other sister-wives work outside the home, as does Kody), about who has sex with Kody (all of them, but not together because that would be strange) and when (all the time), about jealousy and child-rearing and fears and finances and public criticism makes for the kind of television that is not only irresistible but compelling. Two of the wives, Meri and Christine, had been raised in polygamist families, while Janelle, though a Mormon, had not.
In an email interview with USA Today, Janelle Brown explained it this way: "The women in our family chose this life, often, over the option to pursue traditional monogamous relationships. We are very happy, and our children are extremely well-adjusted. We have raised our children talking about choice and consequence in a very real fashion and emphasize personal choice in their lives. We emphasize education for our children and do not condone underage or arranged marriages."
The first show focuses not just on introductions and explanations but on "the big announcement," which has Kody telling the family at a group meeting (just before prayers) that he is not only "courting" another woman, 16 years after his last marriage, but is thinking of asking her to marry into the family. Robyn, of course, eventually becomes wife number four, after much emotional discussion among the other wives, and brings her four children to the Brown fold, boosting the size of the family to 21 from 16.
"Love," says Kody, in explaining the family expansion, "should be multiplied, not divided."
As so you watch Sister Wives, at once fascinated and repelled, curious and offended, and wonder many things. Like, would Kody mind if the sister-wives took in a couple of brother-husbands?