Everyone is waiting for big news from DC Comics this week, wondering if they’ll be staying or going. We got our hands on some leaked notes from a major company-wide meeting, and let me tell you, their plans are truly shocking!
1) That’s No Moon: DC Comics will be moving to a “to scale” moonbase modeled off of the original JLA design.
2) You know what it means: Not sure what this means, but repeated over and over in the meeting notes is one word: Jabberwocky. What IS Jabberwocky? What, you don’t know? I mean, I know. Of course I know. I was just checking if YOU knew…
3) DC is going all-digital for monthly comics through Zune Marketplace: Yup, they’re completely abandoning all the work done on PSP and iOS devices, instead opting for the 10 people that own Zunes to have digital comics. It’s an unprecedented move, not likely to ever be seen again.
4) Geoff Johns is a Robot: Well, can’t say this one was kept very secret. Engineered by the Guardians of the Universe to police the stars, Geoff Johns broke free of his original programming and came to Earth to write comics. Also revealed, the Manhunters will return in a special cross-promotion with Twitter and 7-11 called “Infinite Slurpees.”
5) Final Crisis was all a big misunderstanding: In a meeting between Grant Morrison and Dan DiDio, when Grant Morrison asked, “What did you do in animation?” Didio said “Reboot” and Morrison said, “Hey, no problem.”
So there you have it folks, all the gigantic DC News. Hard to believe that’s what we’ve been waiting on since the restructuring a year ago!
*this is a work of fiction. Unless you’re Rich Johnston, then you can reprint this all as fact, Rich.