Your Letters

17:32 UK time, Wednesday, 20 October 2010

Does any one in Monitor Towers know what the legal position is if I find the winning Euromillions ticket?
MCK, Stevenage

Monitor: You'd have to fight this person for it... unless this person is you MCK... in which case, has Monitor ever told you how much of a fan it is of your regular missives MCK? So witty, so erudite, such a way with words etc

Your article on a nation's birth certificate. While in the Philippines we decided to get a copy of my mother-in-law's birth certificate. We did not know her date of birth. When we went to the local registry we discovered that no birth, marriage and death certificates existed from prior to 1945; the Japanese had destroyed them. This has made life complicated for people born or married prior to 1945. Fortunately for some people, many church records were not destroyed and we were able to find a record my mother-in-law's baptism.
Nicholas, Streatham

Re your lead story today, I quite like the Comic Sans font but don't like bunnies much. So I will use it as often as I can from now on.
Alan Addison, Glasgow, UK

World's longest cat? Pfft, such a disservice to the true longcat.
Si, Leeds

So, stock photo of "new mother in hospital with baby" is Chrissie from Holby with baby Daniel in the infamous pea suit? Chortle chortle.
Lucy Jones, Northwich

From the office of the Chancellor of the Exchequer:
Dear MM,
Please note that as part of the government's ongoing plans to cut £1.30 from your budget, the following changes will need to be made as soon as possible:
1) From today only people called David, Jane or Percival will be allowed to have letters published.
2) Only letters originating from within 5 km of MM HQ will be published.
3) Comic Sans is to be used for all future MM posts and letters published.
4) The closure of the coat room so that users of the service will be required to keep their coats with them at all times.
5) A decision of whether or not to renew MM's nuclear deterrent will be made in 2016.
6) The following quangos are to be abolished: G.O.B (Gender Obfuscation Board.
Yours sincerely,
UN Derling, Treasury Dept.

Monitor: More details in the Spending Review special report we presume.

Tom H, (Tuesday's letters) I've accidentally handwritten something, in pen, in capital letters. It's on blue paper. Google can't help. Can you?
Kat Gregg, Coventry