This week, Wendy’s announced a nationwide rollout of its new natural-cut fries with sea salt. After 41 years of their classic fries, which taste great dipped in a Frosty, Wendy’s decided it was time to give them a makeover.

Hmm…an attempt at a makeover after 41 years? Sounds like a particular French fry is having a mid-life crisis.

The fries are made using Russet potatoes that are sliced “natural-style” with the skins left on for additional texture and taste. Then they are cooked in a proprietary oil that contains no allergens and has 0 grams of trans fat. Sea salt is sprinkled to enhance the flavor. The fries are designed to be hotter, crispier and tastier than the original version.

Wendy’s Natural-Cut Fries with Sea Salt will be priced the same as their current French fries and offered in the same sizes. The nationwide rollout begins November 11th.

Image via Wendy’s

Full title: “Ben & Jerry’s Limited Batch Snickerdoodle Cookie Buttery Cinnamon Ice Cream Loaded with Snickerdoodle Cookies.” Limited Batch! Buttery Cinnamon! Cookies! I haven’t had Ben & Jerry’s ice cream in years, but when I saw this limited edition flavor I knew I’d have to give it a go.

I’ll be honest with you, I had to consult Wikipedia in order to remember exactly what a snickerdoodle cookie is. I knew I’d had them before, specifically around Christmastime, but my family Christmases were so chock full of cookies, candy and everything sugar that I wasn’t sure if I was thinking of the flavor of snickerdoodles, my grandpa’s pfeffernüsse, or those weird white cookies my cousin baked every year that nobody ever ate.

For anyone who might have a memory as poor as mine, snickerdoodles are basically cinnamon-sugar cookies, which explains their inclusion in this cinnamon-infused ice cream. This is the perfect time to introduce this ice cream flavor, what with Christmas sneaking up on us like a mugger in a dark side alley, ready to demand all our money in the form of Clappers and Chia Pets shaped like Garfield’s head.

As the inevitability of crowded malls, sold-out “must have” toys and dysfunctional family gatherings washes over you, maybe you should comfort yourself with a pint of Snickerdoodle Cookie ice cream. To me, cinnamon equals chilly nights, cozy blankets and hot cocoa, all the good things that come along to keep me sane during the oft-stressful holiday season. Let’s try out this ice cream and see if it’s going to give me warm fuzzies or curse Ben & Jerry’s for ruining one of the few things about the holiday season that keeps me from hanging myself from the ceiling fan with a length of tangled Christmas lights. I’m already glaring at it for making me talk about Christmas in November. That shit is verboten in my house.

Fun fact: turns out I don’t own an ice cream scoop.

It’s hard enough to play food photographer and try to make nice, big, inviting mounds of ice cream with a scoop; without one, fuggedaboudit. During my search, however, I did find a scoop-like device in the utensils drawer, a.k.a. the Murder Drawer of Sharp, Unsheathed Knives. I think it used to belong to an espresso machine, but it looks more like a melon baller. Either way, it became an impromptu ice cream scooper. I am MacGyver.

As you can see, there’s plenty of snickerdoodle cookie in Snickerdoodle Cookie. Instead of chunks of cookie, I’d describe them as clusters of crumbles. Delicious crumbles! The ice cream is, as described, buttery, and by that I mean rich and creamy, not “containing properties resembling butter.” That would be gross. Somewhere, someone at Jones Soda just decided to make a Butter Ice Cream flavored soda. I take full responsibility for this.

Both the cinnamon in the ice cream and in the cookie crumbles are perfectly portioned. Too much cinnamon and I would have felt like I was eating a softer version of one of those cinnamon-scented grocery store pine cones that always make me sneeze; too little and it would have just been a creamy vanilla ice cream with sugar cookies. But Snickerdoodle Cookie strikes just the right balance, resulting in me eating the entire bowl and wishing it was a month from now and about 50 degrees cooler outside. Time travel doesn’t exist (yet) and it will never be 20 degrees where I live, so I’m shaking my fist at Ben & Jerry’s while at the same time contemplating eating another bowl.

Snickerdoodle Cookie ice cream nails the flavor of the cookie while also delivering a rich and creamy cinnamon ice cream that is the perfect compliment to the cookie crumbles. Ben & Jerry’s is wise for making this a “Limited Batch,” because while it’s a great flavor for the holiday season, the richness of it wouldn’t make for a very refreshing summertime frozen treat. There’s something about the cold winter season that makes rich foods comforting instead of overwhelming, and this is the case with Snickerdoodle Cookie. I’d suggest waiting until Christmas window displays make you happy instead of angry, curling up under a soft blanket, and eating this ice cream while you watch A Charlie Brown Christmas.

A healthy pour of bourbon to help keep you warm wouldn’t hurt, either.

(Nutrition Facts – ½ cup — 230 calories, 120 calories from fat, 13 grams of total fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, , 26 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 20 grams of sugars, 4 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A, 10% calcium, 0% vitamin C and 0% iron.)

Other Ben & Jerry’s Snickerdoodle Cookie reviews:
Gigi Reviews
On Second Scoop
Rodzilla Reviews

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Snickerdoodle Cookie
Price: $3.50 (on sale; normally $4.79)
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Albertson’s
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Ice cream rich and buttery. The word pfeffernüsse. Cinnamon was well-balanced. MacGuyver. Cookie crumbles were yummy. Bourbon.
Cons: Ice cream may be too rich for some. Early Christmas decorations. 230 calories per serving helping to pack on the holiday pounds. Butter Ice Cream flavored soda.

Bacon Soda was inevitable, and it was also inevitable that the Jones Soda Company would be the one to do it. After years of producing soda flavors that no sane soda company would ever formulate, like dirt, turkey & gravy, corn on the cob, sweat, broccoli casserole and astroturf, it should be no surprise that Jones Soda was the one to release a bacon soda.

The limited edition soda was created with help from the folks who brought the world Bacon Salt and Baconnaise.

A pack of two Jones Bacon Soda with a tube of bacon lip balm, a package of bacon popcorn and a package of bacon gravy mix can be purchased from the Jones Soda website for $9.99 plus shipping.

NOTE: Yes, we did buy some.

I’ve never thought of a Slurpee as a peace pipe, nor have I thought of it as a way to unite people, but the folks at Slurpee hope their Purple for the People flavor (a.k.a grape) brings people together during their Slurpee Unity Tour 2010.

What’s the Slurpee Unity Tour 2010? I don’t know. It sounds slightly political, but it also sounds completely like a sly marketing campaign to sell Slurpees.

The number of beverages that have the power to bring people together is extremely small. The only two I know of are a bottle of Coca-Cola and a keg of beer. If only the Purple for the People Slurpee had a catchy song that encouraged people to come together like Coca-Cola had in the 1970s.

According to the website, Purple for the People is only available on stops during the official Slurpee Unity Tour 2010. Eight ounces of it contains 67 calories, 0 grams of fat, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 18 grams of sugar, 14 milligrams of sodium and 29 milligrams of potassium.

Since I live on a tropical rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, I don’t get the opportunity to face the extreme nipple-hardening weather many of you are experiencing or will be experiencing.

I’ve discovered one of the few ways my nipples can experience what your nipples are (or will be) going through is to wet my pointer fingers with my tongue after sucking on a popsicle and then using those fingers to rub my nipples in a circular motion until they’re stiff enough to poke an eye or make it look like there are two volcanoes sticking out of the hairy forest on my chest.

Because it’s extremely rare for me to experience temperatures well below 68 degrees for days, weeks or months at a time, I can’t imagine what it’s like to be standing in the checkout line in a warm grocery or convenience store and be reminded of the harsh, fripple-inducing weather outside by the chewing gum and mint flavors on the shelves next to the checkout counter.

These flavors include: Wintermint, Cool Rush, WinterFresh, Polar Ice, Cool Mint, Winterfrost, Midnight Cool, Dragonfruit Freeze, Arctic Chill, Wintergreen, Lemon Ice, Crystal Frost and Shiver Mint. Brrrr. My nipples are a little stiff from just saying those names.

Another product that might depress someone before heading out into frigid weather is the new Ice Breakers Peppermint Frost Mints. Yup, it’s got the words “ice” and “frost” in its name, a word for each nipple.

While Altoids describes their mints as, “Curiously Strong,” Ice Breakers alliterates their Frost Mints as “Perfectly Powerful.” Each circular Frost Mint is roughly the size of my nipples and has the same “flavor crystals” found in Ice Breakers gum. However, those crystals are part of a chalky coating and once that coating melts away, all that’s left is a smooth meek mint.

Overall, they’re good peppermint-flavored mints and are “Perfectly Powerful” for those who can’t handle the minty burn of regular Altoids. I estimate the Frost Mints provide 75 percent of the minty power of Altoids, but that’s not enough for me. Because as someone who masochistically sticks several Altoids in my mouth at one time while simultaneously rubbing my nipples, that 75 percent doesn’t come close to satisfying my desire for painful minty pleasure.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 mint – less than 5 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 1 gram of sugar alcohols and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Ice Breakers Peppermint Frost Mints
Price: $2.19
Size: 1.2 ounces/Approx. 30 mints
Purchased at: Foodland
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Good peppermint-flavored mint. Sugar-free. Perfectly powerful for those who can’t tolerate the curiously strong Altoids. Putting the word nipple in every paragraph of this review. Minty pleasure.
Cons: Once outer coating melts away, minty flavor weakens. Uses some artificial flavor. Won’t satisfy those who enjoy the slightly painful sensation of Altoids. Fripple-inducing weather. Container is not as cool as an Altoids tin. Being reminded of the cold weather by chewing gums and mints.

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

There are Bloody Mary-flavored potato chips. If I chant its name three times in my kitchen, will a bag of it appear? (via Yum Yucky)

Nothing gets to me because Mentos helps me keep stayin’ fresh, stayin’ cool when I’m in jams, like trying to ditch a dead body. So it’s fitting there’s a Mentos with jam inside. (via Candy Blog)

There are mixed reviews of Jones Soda’s reformulated WhoopAss Energy Drink. Here’s one whooping its ass and here’s one wiping its ass. (via BevReview & Caffeine-A-Holic)

Dunkin’ Donuts just came out with maple-flavored sausage pancake bites. Dunkin’ Donuts wants America to run on Dunkin’, but it looks like they’ll make America do a different kind of running to compensate for eating maple-flavored sausage pancake bites. (via Grub Grade)

Here’s a review of Kinder’s Surprise Egg. What’s the surprise? If I tell you, it wouldn’t be a surprise. Nah, I’ll tell you. You were adopted. (via Rodzilla Reviews)

The Pillsbury Savorings Mini Crescent Dogs look like trailer trash cuisine that involved snapping into a Slim Jim and then snapping into the Pillsbury Doughboy.

Other Savorings flavors sound a lot classier, like artichoke and spinach, cream cheese and jalapeno, and cheese and spinach. With those high quality varieties, I didn’t think Pillsbury would attempt to make an upscaled version of pigs in a blanket and take the Savorings line down to the level of Boy Scout meeting grub.

Just look at the Pillsbury Doughboy on the front of the box smiling like he’s offering us the greatest Canadian microwaveable product of all time. How can he be smiling? He’s offering us something he wouldn’t eat himself, because doing so would be cannibalism to him.

You know who shouldn’t be smiling? People who buy the Pillsbury Savorings Mini Crescent Dogs and Canadians. Why Canadians? Because, as Cybele from Candy Blog pointed out after I posted the photo above on Flickr, if it’s from Canada, shouldn’t it be spelled Savourings?

A box of this Savorings variety contains ten pieces which are made up of “soft pastry wrapped around a miniature smoky sausage.” The pieces are small, so if you’re planning to take some to a Boy Scout meeting, you should buy several boxes, unless you’re bringing the snack to one of the world’s smallest Boy Scout troops, which consist of just two fervent preteens who will become Eagle Scouts before they even kiss a girl.

To prepare a serving, place five pieces on a plate as if they’re the points to create the Star of Sodium and Saturated Fat, and then microwave for one minute. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MICROWAVE JUST ONE UNLESS YOU WISH TO TURN THE SAUSAGE INTO ASH AND HAVE YOUR MICROWAVE SMELL LIKE CARNAGE FOR SEVERAL DAYS, OR IF YOU WISH TO WIPE THAT SMILE OFF THE PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY’S FACE.

WHEN I PREPARED…OH WAIT, I’M SORRY. When I prepared them properly, the pastry wasn’t very soft, was awfully dry and bland tasting. Also, the mini pork, chicken and beef sausages were a bit too salty and had me yearning for the unnatural red color and normal saltiness of hot dogs.

If you’re trying to convince Boy Scouts or anyone else into thinking you made them fresh, you won’t. Although if you’re willing to admit you really suck at cooking, because Pillsbury Savorings Mini Crescent Dogs aren’t very good, you might get away with it. But either way, you’ll be breaking the trustworthiness part of the Scout Law.

(Nutrition Facts – 5 pieces/85 grams – 290 calories, 150 calories of fat, 16 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 1000 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, 7 grams of protein and 8% iron.)

*made with partially hydrogenated soybean oil

Item: Pillsbury Savorings Mini Crescent Dogs
Price: $4.29
Size: 10 dogs
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: Quick to prepare. Hot dogs. Other Savorings flavors. Pigs in a blanket. Watching the Pillsbury Doughboy eat bread.
Cons: Dough came out not soft, dry and bland. Sausage was a bit too salty. Excellent source of sodium and saturated fat. Contains only two servings. Sausage looks like Slim Jim pieces. Can’t microwave in smaller amounts than what’s in the instructions. Becoming Eagle Scout before kissing a girl.

I love Slim Jims. I love beef jerky. I also love Tabasco sauce. These things said, reviewing Slim Jim’s Premium Beef Jerky Tabasco Spiced was a no-brainer for me.

I’m rather finicky about my beef jerky. Growing up, my dad used to get beef jerky from the Meat Shop around the corner. Not a butcher shop, not “Big John’s Meat Shop,” just Meat Shop. Located in a dingy strip mall, sandwiched between a liquor store and a laundromat, you know Meat Shop was quality.

The beef jerky from Meat Shop was perfectly seasoned and perfectly peppered. You could chew it as long as a piece of Fruit Stripe, but it wasn’t tough or gristly. It was magical beef jerky. Then one day, Meat Shop went out of business. Even as a child, I had an old woman’s resistance to change. I remember getting unreasonably upset when the Lucky’s grocery store down the street changed into an Albertson’s. I was ten years old at the time; I didn’t even go grocery shopping. But the sign change alone was enough to send me into tantrums and tears. Okay, maybe it wasn’t that bad, but you get the point.

Ever since Meat Shop closed, I’ve been chasing the jerky dragon. Jack Link’s didn’t satisfy. Pemmican’s made me want to give their racist Injun mascot a comfy blanket infected with smallpox. Oberto’s had me saying “Oh Noes” instead of “Oh Boy!” I could go on, but I’ve already stretched the joke too thin.

It seems like anyone over the age of 17 finds it gauche to say they like Slim Jims. There’s a good reason for that – they are greasy, salty, and you can tell it’s the epitome of unhealthy food from a hundred feet away. Don’t tell that to Macho Man Randy Savage though; he’ll yell at you to snap into one until you go deaf. Mr. Savage aside, let’s be real, here: if you’re eating something that contains mechanically-separated chicken and sodium nitrite, you are either young and foolish or old and self-destructive. Guess which category I fall under.

Beef jerky is actually a little more healthy, and it’s more acceptable to eat in public, especially if you are on a road trip rolling in a 1965 Sunbeam Tiger Mk1. If there’s not at least one pouch of beef jerky and one bag of sunflower seeds bought at a truck stop convenience store during your road trip, you’re doing it wrong. Slim Jim’s beef jerky doesn’t taste like a Slim Jim, but that’s fine, as I’m sure that wasn’t their intention. Slim Jim is just the name that gets the jerky out there.

As for the Tabasco, it’s definitely prominent; even just opening up the pouch, you are hit with that familiar smell of capsaicin and vinegar. The hot sauce does indeed spice up the beef jerky, as promised in the name of the product. The spice builds up as you eat each piece, culminating in a burn coating the inside of your mouth that would be unacceptable to sissies but just hot enough to satisfy someone who douses their eggs in Tabasco. You can also strongly taste the vinegar, which I enjoyed, but I think others may not like their beef jerky having a vinegar flavor to it.

As for the texture, it’s hit-and-miss. The smaller, thinner pieces are soft and juicy, causing a pleasant burst of saliva as you chew. The larger pieces are too tough and dry, resulting in Beef Jerky Sore Jaw Syndrome. I hate BJSJS. Unfortunately, my bag was mostly full of big pieces that broke off into jerky splinters rather than breaking down into a flavorful jerky chew.

While Slim Jim Premium Beef Jerky Tabasco Spiced delivered on the Tabasco flavor, that may be a double-edged sword, as the hot sauce’s signature burst of vinegar flavor may be a turn-off for some jerky lovers. I would actually like to see a jerky spiced with chipotle Tabasco; the chipotle version tones down the vinegar and delivers a great smoky flavor that I think would work much better with beef jerky. The small pieces were spot-on in flavor and texture, but the big pieces were dry and difficult to chew, and it’s disappointing that my bag was almost all big pieces.

If Slim Jim could refine their jerky-making process to avoid BJSJS, I’d be much more of a fan of Slim Jim Premium Beef Jerky Tabasco Spiced. As it stands, I enjoyed the flavor, but the good pieces were too few and far between. Maybe the next time I see this product, I’ll take the time to be a total jerk (hurrr) in the store and spend ten minutes trying to find a bag with more of the small pieces.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 package/51 grams) — 150 calories, 25 calories from fat, 2.5 grams of total fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 810 milligrams of sodium, 10 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 7 grams of sugars, 21 grams of protein and 20% iron.)

Item: Slim Jim Premium Beef Jerky Tabasco Spiced
Price: $1.99
Size: 1.8 oz.
Purchased at: Circle K
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Strong, authentic Tabasco flavor. Road trips in cool cars. Small pieces were juicy and delicious. “Meat Shop.” Nice spicy burn. Macho Man Randy Savage.
Cons: Mostly big pieces, which were tough and dry. BJSJS. Vinegar taste may be off-putting to some. Change of any kind. Serious lack of the small, tasty pieces.

Eco-friendly cleaner newcomer, Replenish, recently came out with their first product that provides buyers with just an empty spray bottle and a pod that contains a concentrated cleaner. The only part Replenish doesn’t provide is the water to turn that empty bottle into a full one.

It’s up to buyers to provide the water. Hopefully, not bottled water, because that would defeat the purpose. Also, hopefully, not Evian water, because that would be pretentious.

The purpose of this setup is to encourage buyers to reuse the spray bottle, which means less plastic in their recycle bins and more room for Bud Light bottles and failed bong making attempts in glass blowing class.

Each pod of concentrated cleaner is good for four full bottles. To make a full bottle, screw the pod to the empty spray bottle, turn everything upside down and squeeze the pod to get the concentrate into the reservoir in the empty spray bottle. Then add water and mix. The concentrate is 98 percent plant-based, biodegradable, non-toxic and pH neutral.

Replenish comes in three varieties: Sun Lemon, Green Tea and Fresh Lavender. A reusable bottle with a pod of concentrated cleaner costs $7.99. A replacement pod will set you back $3.99.

Replenish Website

Kimberly-Clark introduced this week Scott Naturals Tube-Free, a toilet paper roll without the inner cardboard roll.

While it’s great for the environment, if the TP technology is successful and other companies follow suit, it could equate to a drop in the number of times parents have to put on a fake smile and pretend to be proud of their child when they bring home a crappy craft project they made in school using toilet paper rolls, construction paper and glue.

The tubeless rolls are made using a “special winding process.” While the roll’s hole won’t be perfectly round, it will fit on any toilet paper spindle. But that’s just a small price to pay so that you’ll have fewer toilet paper animals, toilet paper flowers and toilet paper rockets to throw away when you have to make room for your child’s elbow macaroni art.

The Scott Naturals Tube-Free toilet paper is currently available at Walmart and Sam’s Club stores throughout the northeastern U.S.