3 Solutions to Blogging Stress

Has your blog become a source of stress?

Recently I’ve been feeling paralysed on AliDark.com. As ridiculous as being paralysed on a blog with your name as the .com might sound. This led me to psycoanalyze myself (again) and I came up with a number of things that cause me to get freaked out by blogging – and I suspect you too.

Here’re some possible reasons this might happen.

Your afraid of loosing your audience.

When you have only 50 subscribers (or only 10, or ‘only’ 2000) and the posts aren’t flowing or sitting right, you can’t help but get anxious about being forgotten or discarded like yesterdays good blog. I mean, the internet is a torrent of information and it’s easy to ‘go under,’ right?

I choose to stick with quality over quantity, one strong swimmer in the rapids as oppised to a human-raft. AliDark.com currently has about 50 subscribers, including both mail and RSS. I’m okay with that because I’ve chosen a very organic way of building this blog – e: not deliberately building the blog but letting myself wander.

But I know some of the subscribers to AliDark came after a couple of well recieved posts on blogging. So any time I want to post something else, I get nervous. Then it’s not about me in a good way, it’s about you in a bad way.

The only solution is to accept the fact that I haven’t nailed myself (oh that sounds bad, but bear with me and turn of your grossometre and leave it switched off… because stuff like that makes me ha-ha-happy when I’m on caffeine) or my niche yet.

This has been said roughly a billion billion times in the last year or two, but you just gotta be yourself (or as I prefer to put it, not be someone else). Think back to high school. It was only when you accepted you were a freak that you started to feel okay about entering the playground, right?

Now with that said, I believe my last two posts weren’t a perfect fit here. I’m not sure what to do about that because I want to write more on digital empowerment in a practical sense. But what to do? DigitalEmpowerment.com’s taken, and who wants a .net?

Your passion has evolved but your blog hasn’t

Let’s say you don’t run your blog under your OwnName.com, but run a fairly personal topical type blog like MomentumGathering.com, DevaCoaching.com, AlwaysWellWithin.com or TheNewPursuit.com (the first that spring to mind. Abundance Mentality people!).

When you started it you had a thousand years worth of material saved in draft form in your brain.

But since that time, you’ve got bogged down with something else and lost your inspiration, or another passion has taken over your life.

The solution in this case might be to bring your blog topic around and see if it feels right. Or if your new passion is too far away, you might simply need a new blog. You can always keep the momentum and backlinks of your current blog and simply change the name and topic, as I’ve done with AliDark.com – which has had around ten domain names. I no shit you.

You’ve been infected by the monetization virus.

Is it possible to make money with a blog? Sure. Will you need a day job? Probably. Don’t stress about income from your blog. Aside from being very clever and dedicated to marketing, there’s not much that can guarantee it. You’re better off not worrying about it.

If your aim is specifially to provide value and earn a real income, realise that the factors involed in building and monetising a blog take time – months at the minimum and sometimes years.

Pick fruit. Clean floors. Temp. Build. Demolish.

Blog with a light heart.

Thank you vandan desai for the pic. It’s got FA to do with my topic but it’s nice decoration.


  1. Raam Dev says:

    I’ve been feeling much the same way with my blog: paralyzed by the sudden increase in the quality of my posts and then scared to publish anything of lesser quality or something that’s way off topic (I make it sound like I wasn’t responsible for the good posts, but the truth is that I sometimes feel like it wasn’t myself who wrote and published them, but rather something greater than myself).

    It definitely comes down to fear. It’s fear of being less than perfect, which is silly since we all know that being “perfect” isn’t possible. The key is to find a balance between striving for perfection and making regular mistakes.

    If we strive too much for perfection, we don’t make enough mistakes. If we don’t strive enough for perfection, our growth is stunted and progress is slow. I’m a perfectionist, so I need to overcome the fear of making regular mistakes.

    • Ali says:

      Hi Raam. I think we are very much alike i this – I can only begin to understand the pressure you must have felt after the success of some of your recent posts. How can you follow up inspiration and response like that?

      Fear is perhaps the thing we human being have most in common with each other. It stagnates everything. I don’t say it’s a useless feeling, but as a habit, it sucks to recourse to.

      I very much agree with your last paragraph too. I think when words are lacking that means it’s times for action. I see my next steps as being very much action based…

      Thanks for chiming in!

      • Ali says:

        And hey Raam, regarding your blog and the community sprouting there, maybe it’s time to be more action oriented? I mean all of your blog’s audience want to change the world. They’re all stuck on how… they’re reading you because your vocalising the journey of discovery from disempowerment to wilful empowerment.

  2. Sandi Amorim says:

    Well fellas,
    I’ve been wrestling with the perfection lizard as long as I can remember, and now that I’ve entered my wise, crone years (haha) I can tell you this – it’s about being the best you. Nothing else. When I keep my focus on that, my writing is better, life is juicier, and I’m satisfied. When the focus slips back to perfection, suffering is pretty much guaranteed as I go toe-to-toe with the lizard.

    What I appreciate about both of you is the transparency and willingness to have this conversation. It’s easy to become isolated doing this work, to think that you’re the only one who feels a particular way. The authenticity of this conversation reminds me of my humanity, that there’s no way in hell I’m ever going to get it right, be perfect. And that is a very good thing.


    • Ali says:

      Hi Sandi. Bring on the croning. We need it.

      You know I’m sure the recent posts at Juicy Life have been helping a lot.

      I really do think everything (including our blogs and other projects or work) comes down to whether we are being the best ‘us’ we can. If so, even if not perfect, there’s an abundance of inspiration. Just from us knowing we’re going at it.

      I aren’t always the best me. In fact I’m quite forgiving of myself not being so or even trying sometimes. And I think the regular down-time in my life reflects that.

      Perhaps being to self-critical is no good, but being too lax in my case has led to the above as well.

      Thanks for visiting and laying your croning egg here.

  3. Bill Gerlach says:

    Again, the timeliness of this post is uncanny.

    Like Raam and Sandi, I’m right there with this topic. The last 4-6 weeks has just seen an amazing uptick in other obligations around our family. In one breath, it might seem contrary to the tenets of my writing, but in another, I find it resonating quite well.

    I’m just finding myself more in the “action” phases of late. Mostly, with helping the organizations that our kids are involved in. I feel a strong impetus to help because I believe so strongly that our kids need alternatives to living in the Digital Drone Zone.

    To some extent, I’ve felt the quality of my writing to take a slight hit. But I’m definitely feeling (creating needlessly?) pressure from the quantity of posts. Like I’ve built up a slight following that requires regular feeding. But at the end of the day, I can’t do it all. And I can’t allow that which I have come to cherish and rely on for living life fully to be compromised.

    I write for others, but I also write for myself. I must remain true to my path and hope that others find some sort of value and inspiration from it. I continue to be humbled by anyone who reads, subscribes, comments or shares anything I write.

    A bit of a rambling comment here, but you I’m sure you guys get the picture. I value this sharing — and you all — more than you know.

    Be well and much peace.

    • Ali says:

      What struck me in your comment (and also in Sandra’s) was the question “why.” Why do we blog? Spelling it out for ourselves might help allay some of those feelings of inadeqacy and need (or if we decide you have blogging ‘goals,’ then we can put those feelings in a positive context).

      It is humbling when people read what we write. I am amazed that people read at all, most of what is written not being helpful.

      I can see why they’d read a blog like yours though.

      I had this other thought, which was ‘how might Bill provide his readers with the good stuff without spending as much time at the keyboard?’

      I thought you might like to do some video, even not with much talking, but more about things you do outside. Seeing as much of what you’re writing about is something taking place in the real world. Only when there’s a point, I guess. But then again, that might end up taking up more time with editing…

      I keep coming back to that question of why, when I think about your comment and your blog. No real answers.

      • Raam Dev says:

        I think the why is simple: Relationships. If your best friend was going to give his first speech somewhere, even if it was on a topic that didn’t really interest you, you’d probably go listen and watch, right?

        The same way, in the blogging community we’re building relationships. Ali, if you started a new blog, even if it was on a topic that didn’t interest me, I’d probably follow it and at least keep my eyes on it. If Tim Ferris started a new blog, I might check it out once and then leave (especially if it’s on a topic that doesn’t interest me).

        That’s one reason why being genuine and being yourself is so important in the blogging world: People read you because of the emotional connection they develop to your online personality. If your online personality isn’t genuine, or it’s confusing, or not helpful, you’re cheating that relationship. The other side of the relationship (your readers) feel like the relationship is becoming one sided.

        I think that’s another reason why responding to comments, emails, and communicating on Twitter/Facebook are important: They help build the relationship. And that’s another reason why taking the blogging relationship to the next level (Skype or meeting in person for example) helps foster further growth of the relationship (and therefore the likelihood that you will all continue reading the content that each other produces).

        I totally agree that adding video is a great way to take blogging to the next level. I personally dislike video, but I see how powerful it is for giving your readers a better “feeling” for the real you — almost like meeting in person, or at least getting a feel for what meeting in person might be like.

        • Bill Gerlach says:

          Relationships are absolutely important — and blogging is definitely a way to expand your relationship horizon.

          I think back to April of this year when I launched TNP. I did not know so many people who I now consider friends. I’ve never met any of you in person, but still I feel a connection like any other in-person relationship might produce.

          Raam, you’re right — taking those relationships to the next level is important (if you can swing it logistically). I always imagine what it would be like to get a few of us together for a weekend of discussion and collaboration. But then again, technology negates the need for collaboration to be just a face-to-face thing.

          I do want to do some video (thanks, Ali). Just need to upgrade the technology situation at home a bit first.

          Be well, guys.

          • Ali says:

            Upgrade tech? Nah, just get the new MBP and hook it up to your junk. i mean computer junk you sicko.

            That’s just to give you a taste of what a weekend with me might ‘sound’ like… and that’s with me being a non-drinker. So think twice :)

            Connecting is good but surely it’s a side-effect of making change… or is the change the relationship… and all this is really just for us? Horrifying thoughts.

            • Sandi Amorim says:

              Count me in for the weekend get-together ;-)
              Why do I blog? Like Raam said, it’s all about the relationships; and just before that, the connections. It’s what I love best about the coaching that I do. I was both surprised and delighted to realize I could also have that connection with people online. I really had no idea when I began my blog just a few months ago.

              That has been the best benefit so far. And yes, that’s for me, but that makes me more able to do my work well and make a difference in the way I know best. And that makes a difference for many.

              Love to all,

              • Ali says:

                I just wish we were all closer together. I find online connections take place at soul and mind level, but skip the heart level. Maybe just me…

  4. Sandra Lee says:


    You really hit on some hot spots here. This is an excellent exploration. I too sometimes feel a pressure to keep up and produce. As the numbers slowly grow, there’s a new goal post each month, a new figure to keep up with so to speak.

    But it’s crazy cause it’s all in one’s head and no place else. I’m not writing my blog to make money or be famous or to have a zillion readers, only to help and connect. So there’s no reasons to feel any pressure at all.

    Then there’s the question of whether to write meaningful articles vs. popular articles. I’m aiming for meaningful.

    Gosh, then there’s the fears that Raam raises when one has a really good streak.
    So much grist for the mill!

    • Ali says:

      It’s interesting isn’t it. You know you’re not in it for cash at all…

      Were you brain damaged by some blogging training? Most of it comes from the scarcity mindset I feel. People who spend much time reading the big guru’s blogging stuff end up trying too hard in the wrong direction, I feel. An essential element dissappears, and a million non-essential elements appear.

      Can I play shrink and ask what you want out of your blog, whether it’s for you or others? Pshycoanalyse yourself Sandra :) and let me help.

      • Sandra Lee says:

        Dear Dr. Ali Freud,

        That’s a good question, but are you joking? I always miss your jokes! Fundamentally, I truly want to help others have a happier and healthier life, and, if they want, connect with the spiritual side of life. I also want to contribute to making the world a better place for everyone.

        What I’ve learned about myself via blogging is that there’s a part of me that is ambitious that comes into play, the one that always has a big vision. That’s not necessarily bad, but it may not necessarily be relevant in my life any more.

        Any thoughts, doctor?

        • Ali says:

          No jokes allowed here.

          Well I’ve always though that we can have these visions of a better world, that are of a quite noble nature and true origin. But we exist in an imperfect world and work with imperfect tools, including our own minds and egos.

          The danger is that we change our mentality because we involve the ego too much… intellectual types do this all the time (start caring about people but end up caring more about their theories) but for others, priorities are clearer.

          So as long as we want to do it, not just for it’s own sake, then putting up with ourselves and our struggle is well worth it.

          Freud, get some.

  5. Simon Hay says:

    Have you read Penelope Trunk’s blog? I think she’s the most authentic blog writer I’ve encountered. We can only be ourselves no matter what our goals are, and if that means feeling vulnerable, then that’s something readers can connect with. I’m sure your blog mojo will return, and if it doesn’t, create something new.

    • Ali says:

      Hi Simon. Exactly! No crying over spilt soy milk.

      I haven’t been reading Penelope trunk’s blog, but I’ll take a peek to see what you mean. Thanks for the tip, and welcome.

    • Sandi Amorim says:

      She is awesome and wacky and I agree, one of the most authentic voices I’ve read! One of the first blogs I followed, sometimes out of sheer curiousity as to what she would share next!

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  1. Ali Dark says:

    [newness] 3 Solutions to Blogging Stress http://bit.ly/cG7yq1

  2. Raz Chorev says:

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  3. Raam Dev says:

    RT @AliDark3000: 3 Solutions to Blogging Stress http://bit.ly/cG7yq1

  4. Reading @alidark3000: 3 Solutions to Blogging Stress http://bit.ly/cG7yq1 & thinking about the quest for perfection and my humanity.

  5. Sandra Lee says:

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  6. Bill Gerlach says:

    RT @AliDark3000: 3 Solutions to Blogging Stress http://bit.ly/cG7yq1

  7. Sandra Lee says:

    An excellent read for bloggers —> 3 Solutions to Blogging Stress – http://alidark.com/3-solutions-to-blogging-stress/ from @alidark3000

  8. Lance Ekum says:

    RT @AlwaysWellWithn: An excellent read for bloggers —> 3 Solutions to Blogging Stress – http://bit.ly/aHRIA4 from @alidark3000

  9. RT @alidark3000 [newness] 3 Solutions to Blogging Stress http://bit.ly/cG7yq1

  10. Ali Dark says:

    having a great chat about the 'why' of blogging and getting unstuck at http://ow.ly/2WiSL – much more insightful than my original post!