So long, sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, and hello meditation, energy drinks and yoga. We're in a new era of rock 'n' roll healthiness, one where Mick Jagger adheres to a strict diet, No Age spreads the gospel of veganism and now Madonna is opening a fitness center chain. The artist formerly known as the Material Girl has provided lessons in body image throughout her career, and Mexico City's Hard Candy Fitness is the latest addition to her aspirational brand. 

Hard Candy Fitness will have its grand opening Nov. 29, according to a release, and Madonna will be on hand to welcome the 30,000-square-foot club to her portfolio, which also includes children's books and a fashion line. The gym's name, which doubles as the title of a creepy film starring a young Ellen Page and an Oregon strip club (thanks, Google) -- is a nod to Madonna's 2008 album. Ten additional clubs are in the planning stages, according to the release, although longtime Madonna spokeswoman Liz Rosenberg had no information as to whether or not Hard Candy would expand to the U.S.

Currently, clubs are plotted for Brazil, Argentina and multiple locations throughout Europe, including Russia, and Asia. Madonna is launching Hard Candy Fitness in partnership with manager Guy Oseary and New Evolution Ventures, a company overseen by 24 Hour Fitness founder Mark Mastrov.

"Hard Candy Fitness will be a reflection of Madonna's point of view and will reflect her input on every detail, including music space, light and other design cues," Mastrov teased in a release. "Madonna's touch will be everywhere." Fingers are crossed for the La Isla Bonita spa and Like a Virgin daycare center.

In the track “Airplanes” from his just-released CD, “B.o.B. Presents: The Adventures of Bobby Ray,” Atlanta rapper Bobby Ray Simmons, aka B.o.B., imagines that “I just dropped my new album, on my first week I did 500,000.”  Well, the 21-year-old hip-hop newcomer didn’t come close to that number, but he did nevertheless make it to the top of the national sales chart his first week out.

Simmons’ album sold 84,000 copies, helped along by the presence of a number of high-profile guests including no less than Eminem, who joins in on a bonus track version of “Airplanes” along with Paramore singer Hayley Williams. Among his other partners are fellow rapper T.I., Lupe Fiasco, Rivers Cuomo, Janelle Monae, Bruno Mars and Ricco Barrino.

It was considerably more impressive than the lackluster first-week response to the latest outing for Courtney Love’s band Hole, which came in at No. 15 with sales of just 22,000 for “Nobody’s Daughter,” according to Billboard/Nielsen SoundScan. That mirrors the critical response to the new collection, which garners a 59 out of a possible 100 on Metacritic.com’s aggregate of reviews from major publications and music websites.

Rolling Stone said “’Nobody’s Daughter’ isn’t a true success — but it’s a noble effort,” while, writing for The Los Angeles Times, Margaret Wappler said: “The biggest problem with ‘Nobody’s Daughter’ is the mostly standard hard rock licks provided by her too-merry band of youngsters. These boys don’t sound like they’ve lived through anything, much less Love’s torrid brand of ‘this.’”

Among other new Top 10 entries are Bullet for My Valentine’s “Fever,” opening at No., 3 with sales of 71,000 copies; Melissa Etheridge’s “Fearless Love,” at No. 7 with sales of 46,000; and Miranda Cosgrove’s “Sparks Fly,” landing right behind Etheridge at No. 8 after selling 36,000 copies.

Country trio Lady Antebellum’s “Need You Now” continues strongly at No. 2, and should crack the 2-million total sales mark this week if the album keeps on the pace it’s been on lately. Last week’s top-selling album, The "Glee" cast’s “Power of Madonna,” tumbled to No. 10 with sales of 29,000 copies, a second-week sales drop of 70%.

--Randy Lewis

In a meeting of pop divas, "Saturday Night Live" brought together Lady Gaga and Madonna this weekend, having the artists trade barbs in a sketch. Pop & Hiss was unimpressed in an earlier post, instead focusing on Lady Gaga's gyroscope-enhanced musical performance.The artist stripped her songs of their synthy-trappings and instead focused on singing, even including some nostalgia-driven improvisation about New York into the performance.

It was the rare "Saturday Night Live" performance that went beyond a pure promotional play. But let's forget about the music for a second: Was the skit, in which Madonna met Lady Gaga on a fake MTV show, funny?

Our readers are mixed, with some even doubting that it was indeed Madonna on "Saturday Night Live." Reader Creeanze insists it was Scarlett Johansson and not Madonna, while another argues it was comedian Abby Elliott.

But most seemed to find the Pop & Hiss take on it a bit harsh. "It all felt a bit hastily thrown together, and little more than an excuse to show two pop stars in a cat fight," is what was written. Many appear to agree with reader TK, who wrote that it was "good natured of Madonna to go along with this skit." Reader Hold Up even thinks Pop & Hiss engaged in some Madonna bashing, writing that it "was a fun little skit."

Watch it above. Rate it below.

-- Todd Martens

Related: Lady Gaga gets adventurously intimate, wrastles with Madonna on 'SNL'

Lady Gaga brought the expected weird fashion to "Saturday Night Live." Watching the artist attempt to sit at a piano while outfitted in an array of circular metal rings -- all spinning around the Lady Gaga axis -- was a hoot, and an early comedic standout in "Saturday Night Live's" young season. But there was one bit of window dressing Lady Gaga could have done without: Madonna.

The artist formerly known as the Material Girl popped up in an early skit for a brief exchange of put-downs with the current pop fave. Perhaps a symbol of passing of the pop diva torch, or perhaps some sort of mocking her 2003 MTV Video Music Awards pairing with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, which was then meant to serve as some sort of passing of the pop diva torch, Madonna looked uncomfortable, and not quite sure of why she was tussling with Lady Gaga. It all felt a bit hastily thrown together, and little more than an excuse to show two pop stars in a cat fight.

Not to mention -- Madonna doesn't need to stump to these kind of promotional appearances. Even with a greatest hits collection released to stores last week, let's let Lady Gaga have her moment, or at least give Madonna something better to say than, "Guess what, I'm totally taller than you."

Or perhaps we should just give credit where credit is due.

Madonna's upcoming single was leaked online today, in advance of her fall hits collection "Celebration." The latter won't be released until the end of September, but for now, fans can sample a club-ready song from the effort, one that feels and sounds like an effective reboot of Madonna's late '80s hits.

The title track was co-produced by Madonna and electronic artist and long-time Madonna pal remixer Paul Oakenfold. The cut pretty much delivers what the title implies. It's slightly less Euro than latter-day Madonna dance-cuts such as "Hung Up," and a little less obsessed with tapping the producer-of-the-moment-styles of "Hard Candy." The end result is a song that falls somewhere in between, focusing on highly energetic synth-pop groove, yet isn't as inventive as either of the referenced works.

As a throwaway, midsummer dance pop number, it works. It's definitely a cut that nods to Madonna's '80s disco roots, and would fit comfortably on a hits collection packed between "Vogue" and "Ray of Light." A speak-sing bridge gives the song a little bit of an edge, and allows Madonna to flex some personality -- goofing that she doesn't recognize her dance partner without clothes on.

"Celebration" feels as if it has modest goals, at least by Madonna's standards. Even when it gets a bit risque (see above paragraph), silliness rules the day. She invites us "to the dance of life," and coasts over the chorus. "Celebration" the greatest-hits album will close the book on Madonna's Warner Bros. career, and "Celebration" the song is an effective look back, a gliding, reassuring number that she hasn't forgotten her beginning. But rather than instill a sense of nostalgia, everything feels a bit obligatory. The sound of an artist, hopefully, ready for the next chapter.

Listen below. [UPDATE: The video has been removed. We'll post an official clip whenever it becomes available, although plenty of unsanctioned versions still exist.]

-- Todd Martens

Photo credit: Ken Hively / Los Angeles Times

“Dawg! When you hit that high note -- 'That’s the the way that love’s sup-POSE-ed to be' -- THAT was the Faith we’ve come to know and love throughout this competition. That was hot -- you ARE the next American Idol!!”

Oh, that’s right -- Faith Hill got the jump on "American Idol" long ago. Yet it was tough Friday not to keep watching from the wings during the opening of her two-night stand at the Hollywood Bowl expecting Randy Jackson or Paula Abdul to pop out and give her a standing ovation.

She’s everything “AI” contestants strive to be: outwardly humble, vocally unrestrained, temperamentally not too hot, not too cold. Hill’s the diva for people who don’t like divas, so even-keeled there’s never a hint of the kind of distracting quirk that can come with a Whitney, Celine, Madonna or even a Kelly.

On Friday, that meant despite the added forces of the Hollywood Bowl Orchestra behind her six-piece band and three backup singers, there was a striking shortage of musical electricity during the 65 minutes she was onstage.

Not a shortage of volume or sonic density given close to 100 musicians were there with her. But Hill’s music studiously avoids any sort of dynamic tension or thematic ambiguity that might give listeners a second thought. Or at times even a first one.

Don't have your Madonna tickets for tonight's Dodger Stadium show? You're not alone. Pop & Hiss found some prime seats a week ago, and as of 9:44 a.m., some $95 seats, plus Ticketmaster fees, are still on the market.

But if you were on the fence before, does the rumor that Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears are to appear tonight make it easier to spring for tickets? Multiple press outlets have picked up on comments made by Ryan Seacrest on KIIS-FM host DJ BoyToy Jesse's Wednesday afternoon show.

Searcrest is quoted as saying, "They are going to be onstage performing with Madonna. ... If Justin and Britney end up on that stage with her ... I don't know if I've ever seen anything quite like that before."

A Justin appearance isn't a total shock, as Madonna's "4 Minutes" belongs as much to him as it does her. Additionally, Timberlake performed with Madonna earlier this year, appearing at her New York City club show this spring.

And Madonna and Britney have certainly worked together (see Britney's "Me Against the Music," or the 2003 MTV VMA kiss). But putting the three on stage at once, with the added context that Britney and Justin once dated, will certainly be tabloid fodder for weeks to come.

Pop & Hiss tried to get some official word on this before making this post -- and inspiring readers to plop down some cash -- but a Madonna spokesperson hasn't responded. So take the rumor, perhaps, with a grain of salt, but know that it has not been denied and has now been picked up by such major outlets as Billboard and MTV.

Ultimately, it just comes down to how much you trust one Sir Seacrest.

--Todd Martens

Photo credit: Warner Bros.

With much more serious choices pending for Americans at the polls in just 11 days, the side-taking game surrounding Madonna's collapsed marriage is trivial at best. Commenters on entertainment news message boards declare themselves for "Team Madonna" or "Team Ritchie," but who really cares? It's just another War of Roses, with both sides shaming themselves with displays of materialism and vindictiveness.

But this is Madonna, who's channeled feminine aspirations and anxieties since Sarah Palin's role model Ronald Reagan was in office. It's a pity that her personal life now generates more interest than her art -- the matter of her divorce has become a central theme in the mostly negative reviews of her directorial film debut, "Filth and Wisdom," and the mostly positive ones for her new Sticky & Sweet tour -- but it's also inevitable, given her lifelong devotion to the project of creating herself in public. What's truly sad is that she's seemingly abandoned the aspects of her mission that challenge the culture in favor of simply promoting and preserving her own gain.

Or has she?

In the 1980s, Madonna shocked onstage and in her music, but now we've grown utterly comfortable with bared midriffs, masturbation references and even the language of S&M; they're just part of the blithely exhibitionistic era that Madge herself helped usher in. The imagery she used in her tours, her "Sex" book and her videos pushed an envelope that's been ripped open -- now you can see girl-on-girl action in episodes of "House" and bondage is a joke in a bound-for-Broadway musical.

Madonna herself embraced a more conservative image, though by no means did she conform to old ways. She became a mom without marrying her daughter's dad, Carlos Leon. She wed Ritchie, son Rocco's father, but that union broke another mold -- Ritchie is a decade younger than she is. Her third son, David Banda, was born in Africa and joined the family in a controversial adoption. Madonna also became religious during the last decade, but she's devoted herself to Kabbalah, a mystical Jewish sect that was hardly the obvious path for this former Catholic schoolgirl.