17
Total People in Discussion: 0
“American Idol” concluded its Hollywood round Wednesday with a new strategy that’s reminiscent of the story of “The Emperor’s New Clothes”: Even though viewer can clearly see the contestants are naked of any vocal ability, the show’s judges keep clothing them in compliments hoping you’ll believe what they’re saying.
Throughout the show, host Ryan Seacrest kept saying things like the contestants were “some of the most outstanding performances of our 10-year history” or “Some of the best singing to ever hit the ‘Idol’ stage,” and that viewers would see “breakout performances that will amaze you.”
None of that was ever seen. Instead, viewers saw Hayley Reinhard, 20, of Illinois horribly wailing “God Bless the Child” or white-glasses-wearing Clint Jun Gamboa of California screaming “Georgia on My Mind” and being touted as good.
Take it from me – outside his family, this guy will NEVER sell any records.
But rather than being the exception, it was the rule.
Carlton Higgins 22, of California sang a bad version of Bobby Brown’s “My Perrogative.” Julie Zorrilla of California, on piano, sang a bad version of Sara Bareilles’ “Love Song.” Ashley Sullivan, 26, of Massachusetts, forgot the word three times and sang through her nose. Deep-voiced Scotty MacCreary finally was forced to do a song different from the single one he’s done so far, and was weak.
But all of them were put through by judges Randy Jackson, Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler.
Kendra Chantelle, 22, of Tennessee and Sophia Shorai, 28 of Minneapolis both were wretched but were not only put through, but praised. Redheaded Richard Simmons sound-alike Brett Loewenstein, 16, of Florida was just flat-out bad. Jovany Barreto of Louisiana was squawky. Pudgy Jacee Badeux, 15, of Louisiana also forgot the words. John Wayne Schulz, 23, of Texas, sang in a weak, affected voice.
But all of them were put through.
Not every contestant made it through.
Frances Coontz, 16, of California was so horribly off-key on Train’s “Hey Soul Sister” that even the judges couldn’t put her through. But she was just as bad when she first auditioned. The lesson is that they never should have been put through in the first place.
Same was true for Chelsee Oakes, 23, of Tennessee – so far off-key was her version of Kelly Clarkson’s “Because of You.”
And Jacquelin Dunford, part of a couple who auditioned and whose boyfriend got booted Tuesday, got sick and bowed out.
That may sound like a depressing recounting of the show, but it really was that bad.
There were a couple of contestants who weren’t totally horrible.
Jacob Lusk of California was good, but nowhere near as good as the over-the-top response – a standing ovation – he got from the judges. Thia Megia, 15, of California was OK.
Laurens Alaina , 15, of Georgia, over whose country singing the judges have hyperventilated, wasn’t band on Aerosmith’s “Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.”
And the few front-runners continued to dominate.
Chris Medina, who wasn’t his best on Bobby Brown’s “My Prerogative,” still was far better than almost all the others.
And Casey Abrams, who had not impressed me before Thursday, gave a nice, textured version of “Georgia on my Mind” -- much better when singing softly than screaming week after week. He also played a cool stand-up bass.
But the bottom line is that the season doesn’t look bright. It is perhaps the most shallow talent pool the show has ever seen.
Despite what Ryan Seacrest and the judges say, the emperor has no clothes.
Next week, contestants take on Beatles songs in Las Vegas and are whittled down to the final 24.