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THANKSGIVING SYMBOLS
![[Turkey]](/img/thanksgivingsymbols-turkey.gif) |
The nice thing about turkeys is that they vaguely resemble a child's outstretched hand. Clearly, there is no stronger argument for an intelligent designer of the universe than the fact that, when Thanksgiving comes around and authoritarian art must be created in the nation's elementary schools, the students need only trace their off hand with a washable marker to create an instantly recognizable Thanksgiving icon, modulo the beak and wattle of course. It's also interesting that so many of our images of Thanksgiving turkeys involve them not being killed, plucked, and eaten. The President pardons a turkey, cartoon turkeys on TV manage to avoid the axe, but when it comes to the actual dead turkey on our table, pass the gravy.A
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![[Indian Corn]](/img/thanksgivingsymbols-indiancorn.gif) |
I've always had this conceptual problem with food for decoration versus food you eat, and especially that nether realm occupied by parsley. And don't even get me started on plastic sushi grass. Dried Indian corn is clearly on the "look but don't lick" side of the equation, and it bothers me that the corn we display and the corn we digest are not the same corn. It's disappointing, like those majestic billboards of steaming fast food burgers that look monstrous, but end up being approximately the size of a gearshift knob when you actually order them. C-
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![[Pilgrim]](/img/thanksgivingsymbols-pilgrim.gif) |
I sometimes find myself wondering things that no sane man should wonder. To wit: why did Pilgrims have buckles on their hats? Were they actual head fasteners or did the Pilgrims just have this whole belt theme happening, kind of like Lulu from Final Fantasy X, only with less cleavage and more threshing? Buckles or no buckles, Pilgrims signify one of the most important aspects of Thanksgiving: remembering those who fled religious oppression so that they could finally live free to oppress others for once in their lives. And who also ate food when it was available.C+
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![[Cornucopia]](/img/thanksgivingsymbols-cornucopia.gif) |
The cornucopia has never really appealed to me as a symbol, and I finally figured out why. It's always pouring out wheat and gourds and fruit and healthy shit like that. That sort of thing is only paradisical if you were born on a hippie commune and never left. Those of us who know and treasure the feel of asphalt and the smell of plastic expect a bounty of cheese snacks in interesting shapes and deep-fried appetizers. Or at least some marshmallow bits. C
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![[Leaf Corn]](/img/thanksgivingsymbols-leaf.gif) |
It's interesting how many things we like to have around as holiday symbols, but hate when we have to clear them off our driveway--leaves, snow, leprechauns...I believe we account for this disparity by spending money. By dropping five bucks on mass-produced cardboard autumn leaves, we reassert ourselves as a first-world country, not one of those icky places where the leaves in your living space are the result of the natural actions of gravity and wind. Also, I think fear of Lyme disease may be a factor. D+
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