Robert Pattinson is back! Well, he never really left; we were just a little busy with the Oscars, Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, and wrangling that infrequent bit of sleep.

But we're wide awake now that Pattinson covers the March issue of Vanity Fair, casually wrapping a baby alligator around his shoulders for a photograph by Annie Leibovitz.

See, strong and sensitive — and predictably in love with his costar.

No, not Kristen Stewart. Pattinson tells the mag mag he's head over heels for Tai, the several-thousand-pound ingenue who appears with him and Reese Witherspoon in "Water for Elephants."

"She was the best actor I ever worked with in my life," he said. "I cried when the elephant was wrapped. I never cried when anyone else was wrapped."

Not that his thing for Tai has him scrimping on praise for his "Twilight" costar.

"She's cool. Even before I knew her I thought she was a really good actress. Like, I saw 'Into the Wild,' and I thought she was really good in that. I still think there are very few girls in her class that are as good as she is," he said.

Pattinson even had a little love for the latest elephant in the room, Charlie Sheen, who's imploding on a home-grown media extravaganza now that "Two and a Half Men" — one of the few shows RPattz said he watches on repeat — has been canned for the rest of the season.

At the time of the VF interview, Pattinson had a certain appreciation for "crazy people who don't give [a hoot]." Still, he said he would never indulge in Sheen's "little escapades."

Plus who knows if Sheen-style "goddesses" would play nice with a pachyderm.

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— Matt Donnelly
Twitter.com/MattDonnelly

Photo: Robert Pattinson and a baby alligator. Credit: Annie Leibovitz / Vanity Fair.

The 2011 "Dancing With the Stars" cast has been announced, with hot names for "DWTS" Season 12 including TV host Wendy Williams, Playboy bunny Kendra Wilkinson, boxing legend Sugar Ray Leonard and pro wrestler Chris Jericho.

Oh! Don't forget Kirstie Alley -- 'cause we have a thing for her, and because it's always fun to see if someone loses weight while competing in the show.

With Williams, Wilkinson and Leonard/Jericho covering the "controversial," "hottie" and "athlete" categories held last season by Bristol Palin, Audrina Patridge and Rick Fox/Kurt Warner, "DWTS" was left to fill the Season 11 roles of "name from Gen Xers' childhoods" (Ralph Macchio is the new Florence Henderson?) and "someone who came from Disney" ("Wizards of Waverly Place" alum Chelsea Kane is the new Kyle Massey).

Show Tracker has more details and the rest of the names, which were announced Monday night during "The Bachelor." Pictures too!

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-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photos: Kirstie Alley, left, Ralph Macchio and Wendy Williams. Credits: Associated Press

Christina Aguilera was arrested on suspicion of public intoxication and her boyfriend, Matthew Rutler, was arrested on suspicion of DUI early Tuesday in West Hollywood, authorities said.

An extremely intoxicated Aguilera, 30, was taken into custody at 2:45 a.m. for her own safety and released around 7:30 a.m. after she sobered up, sheriff's Deputy Bill McSweeney said. The arrest will go on her record, but criminal charges  will not be filed against the singer, sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore told L.A. Now.

"There will be no court date, and there will be no prosecution," Whitmore  said.

After his girlfriend was released through a back entrance to avoid gathered paparazzi, Rutler, 25, was still in custody. His bail is set at $30,000.

The "Burlesque" star filed for divorce from music exec husband Jordan Bratman in October; the split is expected to be finalized in April. Rutler escorted her Feb. 6 to the Super Bowl in Arlington, Texas, where she botched the words to the national anthem, a song she's performed in front of crowds since she was a child. She sang at the Grammy Awards on Feb. 13 in a tribute to Aretha Franklin.

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-- Christie D'Zurilla

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

Photo: Matt Rutler and Christina Aguilera arrive at the 68th annual Golden Globe Awards in Beverly Hills on Jan. 16. Credit: Robyn Beck / AFP / Getty Images

Designer John Galliano went from suspended to fired at fashion house Dior after a 2010 video in which he said "I love Hitler" went public Monday, and Oscar winner Natalie Portman later declared herself "shocked and disgusted" by his words.

"In light of this video, and as an individual who is proud to be Jewish," Portman said in a statement Tuesday, "I will not be associated with Mr. Galliano in any way." The "Black Swan" star is the face of the Miss Dior Cherie fragrance.

"People like you would be dead," the designer slurred to patrons at a neighboring table in the video, posted on the Sun website. "Your mothers, your forefathers, would all be ... gassed and ... dead." He also told those who made the video -- who were French and Italian, not Jewish, the Sun said -- that he had a problem with them because they were ugly. 

The Tuesday firing comes only days ahead of Friday's Dior show during Paris Fashion Week.

"In light of the deeply offensive statements and conduct by John Galliano [in that video], Christian Dior has commenced termination procedures against him," the company said in a statement, also quoting Chief Executive Sidney Toledano: "We unequivocally condemn the statements made by John Galliano which are in total contradiction to the longstanding core values of Christian Dior."

The British designer had been suspended by the company after he was questioned and released by police Thursday for allegedly making anti-Semitic and anti-Asian statements to a woman and man in Paris' La Perle restaurant and threatening to kill the man. Prosecutors and police said Friday that Galliano's blood alcohol levels were high.

The Ministry has noted all kinds of high-brow critiques of Academy Awards fashion and felt the need to respond in kind — by asking one of our favorite drag queens, Raja, to help us size up the women of Oscars 2011.

As a contestant on the third season of the addictive "RuPaul's Drag Race," the West Hollywood-dwelling queen has an arty concept and professional execution to her look. 

Here's how she ranks the good, the bad and the "Gurl, you wore what?" from Hollywood's biggest night.

Thank you, James Franco: Like cohost Anne Hathaway, Franco came across "adorable and young," and Raja praised the actor's own drag moment when he appeared in a Marilyn Monroe-inspired dress and wig. "Normally I don't even care about men's fashion but ... that was so fun and perfect."

Michelle Williams, the quiet storm: "She's so magical, so feminine, so soft and beautiful. That dark brow against her [light] hair," Raja said. 

Where are the risk takers? "I miss the days of Celine Dion wearing the backwards suit [by] Galliano and Cher in the Bob Mackie crazy headpieces," she said. The blame can be pinned on excessive playing it safe, says Raja — like Halle Berry in a lovely but predictable nude frock. "A lot of the time it's the same thing," she says of Berry, "avant-garde it a little! She's beautiful, but it's a little stale."

Helena Bonham Carter: "What a kook," Raja said, lovingly.

Lumberjack realness: Praise to Christian Bale for going edgy "with a black-on-black suit" and an unshaven look. "I love his rants, by the way," she said.

And we love your red carpet evaluation, Raj.

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— Matt Donnelly
Twitter.com/MattDonnelly

Right photo: James Franco channels Marilyn Monroe on the Oscar telecast. Credit: Getty Images.

Left photo: Raja in her "RuPaul's Drag Race" glory. Credit: Mathu Andersen / Logo.

Let it never be said that Lady Gaga takes herself too seriously when it comes to creations like her new "Born This Way" video. OK, let it never be said in this paragraph that she takes herself too seriously.

Let it also never be said that you can't create a very interesting view of the world through a ... well, through a kaleidoscope?

Let it often be said that Lady Gaga really likes dancing in public in her unnie-pantz. And let it also be said that this isn't necessarily a bad thing.

As for the "Born This Way" video, well, "This is the manifesto of Mother Monster," Lady Gaga intones. So check out the Nick Knight-directed clip above — viewer advisory just 'cause the beginning is pretty icky — then vote in our up or down poll below, and intone all you want in comments. (Just don't cuss, OK? OK!)

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— Christie D'Zurilla

Colin Firth earned an Oscar for playing a king, but nonetheless the hotshot actor doesn't have an invitation to the royal wedding of Prince William of Wales and Kate Middleton. Not yet, at least.

"As I understand it the invitations have already gone out," Firth quipped to The Times' Jessica Gelt backstage at the Academy Awards on Sunday night. "Mine is definitely lost in the post somewhere. I'm working on tracing it."

And what about letting loose those dancing-feet impulses he'd talked about having to control onstage while he made his acceptance speech? Could they finally be freed, backstage?

"I don't think this is the right environment for that type of behavior," he said, "and anybody who has seen 'Mamma Mia' will know what I mean."

Aw, c'mon — now "feet" is an F-word too? That's no fun, Mr. Firth!

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— Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Colin Firth and a little gold pal place a call during the Governors Ball immediately after the Oscars on Feb. 27 — perhaps calling to check where that royal wedding invite has gotten to? Credit: Gary Friedman / Los Angeles Times.

With a giant photo of actor James Dean looming over the entrance to Los Angeles' Sunset Tower Hotel, Vanity Fair welcomed an army of stars to its 2011 Academy Awards post-party.

Notoriously exclusive and always glamorous, the annual event did not disappoint as big winners including Natalie Portman, Colin Firth, Melissa Leo and director Tom Hooper came with trophies in hand to greet Editor in Chief Graydon Carter.

Portman was naturally the belle of the ball, hand-in-hand with fiance Benjamin Millipied as countless people congratulated her on her awards-season sweep.

Jude Law palled around with Cameron Diaz and "Contagion" costar Gwyneth Paltrow while Gabrielle Union chatted with Jamie Foxx -- who then ran into his friend Jessica Biel. Biel and Foxx  went off together to circulate while Justin Timberlake stood with Andrew Garfield and his girlfriend.

Gorgeous women weren't in short supply, including newly single Scarlett Johansson, who was engaged in deep conversation with Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter. Though this was Portman's year, few could quite contain themselves when nominee Michelle Williams floated by.

In stunning Chanel haute couture, Williams had a soft glow that stopped conversations and, frankly, assured us she'll make a convincing Marilyn Monroe in the forthcoming "My Week With Marilyn."

Let us not forget Williams' humble roots, however: She looked right at home speaking with former "Dawson's Creek" costar Busy Phillips. 

Star couples -- including Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, designer Tom Ford and Richard Buckley, Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth, Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt, Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts, and Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann -- put up unified fronts.

But no couple was so convincing as Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, the picture of young Hollywood come to the grown-ups' table, running back and forth between the Tower bar and terrace holding hands (yes, they were). Taylor Swift made an appearance in a gold mini, snacking from a cone full of In-N-Out Burger fries that was getting passed around. Meanwhile, her former flames Jake Gyllenhaal and Joe Jonas worked the crowd. 

It's a good year to be a television star, being that many small-screen favorites were invited to film's big night: Sofia Vergara of "Modern Family" and "Glee" folks including Lea Michele, Chris Colfer and Matthew Morrison made the scene.

Fellow gleek Dianna Agron showed up, looking nowhere near as traumatized as some since-debunked reports would have her after her split with actor Alex Pettyfer. 

There can come a time in a publicist-client relationship when the rep waves a white flag and walks away. For Stan Rosenfield, the seven-year publicist for Charlie Sheen, that time is now.

"I have worked with Charlie Sheen for a long time and I care about him very much," Rosenfield said Monday in a statement sent to Show Tracker. "However, at this time, I’m unable to work effectively as his publicist and have respectfully resigned."

Can't say we blame him for exiting this particular warlock's battlefield now that Sheen has gone freelance with the free-wheeling radio and TV interviews. (Plus, from the budget-minded, out-of-work actor's point of view, why pay commission?)

Rosenfield has been Sheen's consistent voice through the "Two and a Half Men" star's Aspen troubles, his Plaza Hotel troubles and his contract-negotiation troubles, to name just a few. Other clients of Stan Rosenfield & Associates include Kelsey Grammer, George Clooney, Robert De Niro, John Goodman, Taylor Hackford, Helen Mirren, Jeremy Piven and Morgan Freeman.

Radio host Alex Jones, the guy Sheen was talking to when he first publicly called TV show boss Chuck Lorre "Chaim Levine," appeared Monday on "The View" to defend the sitcom actor, pimp his own website and try to steer the conversation away from Sheen and toward conspiracy-theory politics.

Tangentially, Tila Tequila lost her publicist in January 2010 after a similarly public flame-out in the wake of "fiance" Casey Johnson's death. We couldn't blame that rep either.

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— Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Charlie Sheen talks to ABC News' Andrea Canning on Saturday. Credit: ABC News / Reuters.

Anne Hathaway was a woman of 1,000  dresses at the 83rd Academy Awards on Sunday, starting on the red carpet in a 2002 Valentino creation and ending at the Governors Ball and Vanity Fair Oscar party in burgundy Atelier Versace.

Hathaway was styled by Rachel Zoe for the show in multiple gowns and one Lanvin tuxedo. For the after-parties, she accessorized with a clutch purse and boyfriend Adam Shulman. And OK, maybe it wasn't exactly 1,000  gowns, but it was definitely more than most women show off in a given night.

Which look did you like best? The poll answers (look way down there) go with the pics above and below, listed in left-to-right order and color-coded for those who aren't so good at "spot the designer."

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-- Christie D'Zurilla

Top photo credits: From left, Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times; Mark J. Terrill / Associated Press; Mark J. Terrill / Associated Press; Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times.

Bottom photo credits: From left, Chris Pizzello / Associated Press; Gabriel Bouts / AFP / Getty Images; Robyn Beck / AFP / Getty Images; Mark J. Terrill / Associated Press.

Bottom right photo: Click the thumbnail to see a larger image of the necklace Hathaway wore with her Vivienne Westwood gown. Credit: Kevin Winter / Getty Images

Charlie Sheen has tiger blood and Adonis DNA, healed his mind "in the blink of an eye" at his own "Sober Valley Lodge" and is done apologizing for being a special guy with a perfect life who lives like a rock star. He is, well, "winning."

Charlie Sheen is also a man of "violent hatred" who intends to sue CBS and those he accuses of "trying to destroy" his family by taking away all of his money and leaving him with no means of support after years of earning multiple-millions on a consistent basis.

Arguments offered on "Today" and "Good Morning America" on Monday included "Well, yeah," and "Well, duh" and "I have no interest in their retarded opinions."

He will come back to "Two and a Half Men," he said, for the rest of this season and also next year, but he'd like a 50% raise please, to $3 million per episode, for all of the "psychological distress" he's been been through since they "sent the suits into my house and shut down my party."

Though the actor was referring to what's been called his at-home rehab, CBS and Warner Bros. on Thursday also shut down the show for the rest of the season.

All of this is really nothing we haven't heard from Charlie Sheen already in recent days -- except maybe for the "I'm gonna sue" part. Now, however, we've heard it in stereo, with pictures, from a pair of daylong "exclusive" interviews over the weekend. (And man, were some folks not happy when they learned what "exclusive" means on Planet Sheen.)

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez turned up together at the Vanity Fair party after the Academy Awards on Sunday -- and touched in public on the red carpet. Then they touched again later inside the event. And then they touched each other's BlackBerrys.

Rumor has it they even kissed.

Anyone disappointed by the Biebs' tentative 3-D moves on Miley Cyrus during his Madison Square Garden concert (as seen in the flick "Never Say Never") can take comfort in the notion that the recently restyled kid seems to be learning his way around a lady, at least when it comes to putting his arm around her waist, or having her hand on his knee.

This from a guy who turns 17 on Tuesday and has been posting quotes on Twitter, including "all i want to do is dance under the moon" and "your love is like a rollercoaster the way you take my breath away."

Guess that's the 21st century equivalent of scribbling on your Pee Chee folder? Very cute.

Let us just add that the Ministry's Christie and Matt have also been seen snuggling together and kissing in an after-party photo booth as well. And while it might mean lurve, it doesn't necessarily mean ... you know. And no, we're not linking to the pics.

Now we're blushing.

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-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber, both in Dolce & Gabbana at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party at the Sunset Tower in L.A. on Feb. 27, 2011. Credit: Carlo Allegri / Associated Press

Donald Trump left New York behind for a while and took a stroll down the Academy Awards red carpet Sunday with wife Melania Trump.

"We just want to have a little fun," said the Donald, who will be back in the "Celebrity Apprentice" boardroom next Sunday.

"We just have a lot of great competitors" this coming season, he said.

Trump apparently knows how to pick a winner, preferring " 'King's Speech' more than anything else," he said.

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-- Amy Kaufman

Photo: Helena Bonham Carter, left, gets roped in by Donald Trump and his wife, Melania, on the red carpet at the Oscars in Hollywood on Feb. 27, 2011. Credit: Ethan Miller / Getty Images

The F-word achieved a bit of respectability this award season, going undercover as in the title of Cee Lo Green's Grammy-nominated hit, "Forget You," and starring in a key scene in "The King's Speech." But it took Melissa Leo to unforgettably turn it back into the F-bomb at the 83rd Academy Awards on Sunday night.

Overwhelmed upon winning the Oscar for supporting actress and having declared herself "kinda speechless," "The Fighter" actress blurted, "When I watched Kate [Winslet] two years ago it looked so ... easy" (you fill in the blank, OK?).

Backstage, Leo apologized. "Those words — I apologize to anyone if they were offended," she said. "There's a great deal of the English language that is in my vernacular."

The Oscars were, she said, "an inappropriate place to use that word in particular."

Coming off supporting actress wins at the Golden Globe Awards in January and the Spirit Awards on Saturday, Leo had walked down the Oscars red carpet Sunday looking incredibly excited in her gold and cream Mark Bauer gown.

"This dress was made especially for me," she said before the show started. "I saw it on a dummy a month and a half ago, but it's so cold now!"

Forgettably cold, perhaps?

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— Christie D'Zurilla and Jessica Gelt

Photo: Melissa Leo accepts the Oscar for actress in a supporting role for "The Fighter" at the 83rd Academy Awards on Feb. 27. Credit: Chris Carlson / Associated Press.

Mark Ruffalo counted himself "a little excited ... a little tired, but ... mostly very happy" Sunday as he arrived at the Academy Awards with wife Sunrise Coigney. "And I'm very happy to be here with this beautiful woman, who I share ... this nomination with."

Contrast that with being "excited ... tired, but mostly content and slightly hung over" before the Spirit Awards on Saturday.

OK, not that much of a contrast, but hey, the supporting actor nominee has been working the red carpet for just about ever now, right?

Ruffalo said he tweeted his thank yous Sunday, "on the slim chance that I don't win," which sparked a bit of harrumphing from Coigney. "She hates it when I say that," he said. "I know I'm not going to win!"

Delighted to have his "The Kids Are All Right" outing included among what he called "showier" performances, including Christian Bale's turn in "The Fighter," Ruffalo admitted: "I'm super quiet. I'm shy, actually. This is all an act."

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-- Amy Kaufman