We've all been glued to the TV, watching "American Idol" (pictured, right) and pondering the incredible dedication (and occasionally, sad sad delusion!) of those young performers. Some have been on a serious musical track since early childhood, and have poured their hearts and souls into practice time, lessons and stage experience. Others - especially in the early stages of the auditions! - seem to have mistaken their shower tone, parents' enthusiasm or the drunken cheers of fellow karaoke devotees for serious musical appreciation.
Of course, it's a parent's job to encourage and support. But just because you think your kid is awesome doesn't necessarily mean he or she has what it takes to make a living at this, let alone win Grammys and groupies. Which is why wise parents encourage their musically-talented kids to remember those golden words: day job. It's also why college is so important.
Your child can major in music - a course of study with so many classes, the decision should be made first quarter of freshman year - while also building other valuable and marketable skills. He may emerge a trumpet-playing accountant instead, and that's just fine. The skills and self-discipline bred through years of music lessons pay dividends forever. (And frankly, accountants are significantly less likely to starve - or live with you till they're 40.) He may decide that one of the related music fields - music therapy, for example, teaching or recording engineer - is absolutely fascinating and pursue that path, instead of performance. Or he may discover that he is indeed every bit as awesome as you always said and, armed with that advanced music education, land in a major symphony orchestra, on a Broadway stage or in the rock star spotlight.
That said, there are big decisions ahead for your family: deciding between college vs. conservatory, building a compelling music resume, surviving the audition process (a big deal for younger musicians too), and, of course, the reality check - should your child be a music major at all and how does that experience differ from high school music?
This post is part of the All About Parenting Blog Carnival on kids and music. Follow that link for more on the topic from parents and parenting experts across the blogosphere.
This is a tough thing for parents all around. Guiding kids toward happiness or security? They don’t have to be mutually exclusive, but sometimes they are.
As someone who has always chosen living according to my own vision of life over financial security, I find it ironic that I am bothered by my daughter’s desire to do the same. (And I understand my own very buttoned-up parents so much more.)
I think with music and art, it also has to do with our perceptions of talent. You don’t have to be an accountant to know that the A math student might be good at accounting. But will they be happy?
But music, especially if it is not classical, is not so easy to assess talent and likely success–other than to say it’s a long shot. But in the end, there’s only so much a parent can effectively do to help a child with life choices. They have to make their own choices to feel good about them.