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What's Your Biggest Regret?

We all have regrets, but new research suggests the most common regret among adults in the United States involves a lost romantic opportunity.

Share your thoughts.

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1.
KK
NYC
March 23rd, 2011
11:53 am
Biggest regret? Having one.
2.
Alex Lickerman, M.D.
Chicago
March 23rd, 2011
11:53 am
A great survey, but one that doesn't get at an important core issue: why do we regret things at all? Regret, it seems to me, is premised on the notion that we have the ability to know, or at the very least we suspect, that had we only chosen a different path from the one we actually did our life wouldn’t have merely turned out differently, but better. We idealize the road not taken, imagining only the good things that would have resulted from our taking it, conveniently leaving out the bad that accompanies almost every choice, if not the bad that occurs simply as a result of remaining alive while time passes. Would any of the people in the survey have turned out with better lives--happier lives--had they made choices different from those they now regret? Most likely not.

http://www.happinessinthisworld.com...
3.
Boston, MA
March 23rd, 2011
11:55 am
My addiction to the Well Blog.
4.
Mouse Woman of the Northwest Coast
Washington State
March 23rd, 2011
1:40 pm
I don't regret anything. I've always done the best I could with the information I had. I also don't spend any time second-guessing the past.
5.
Roxanne McGuire
NYC
March 23rd, 2011
1:40 pm
I listened to my parents!
6.
Ann
Boston
March 23rd, 2011
1:40 pm
Interesting! And striking that 44% of women had regrets about lost loves. Maybe someone should launch Regretbook for women - let us reconnect with our high school sweeties online
7.
JS17
San Diego, CA
March 23rd, 2011
1:41 pm
RE: #2 Alex. I often tell people it's impossible to know what would have happened if you'd done B instead of A. As you point out, many people assume things would have been better or even much better. In fact, it's unknowable, so it's a waste of time to wonder about it.
8.
elizabeth
houston
March 23rd, 2011
1:42 pm
How about regretting a "romantic connection" that unfortunately you didn't miss, but in retrospect wish that you had?
9.
comp
MD
March 23rd, 2011
1:42 pm
All of the above. Big time.
10.
Left Coast
March 23rd, 2011
1:45 pm
thx for the smile janice, very funny.
11.
buster
PA
March 23rd, 2011
1:45 pm
Regrets? I've had a few...but then again...too few to mention...
12.
NYCgal
NYC
March 23rd, 2011
1:45 pm
I've learned to let go of emotional baggage that include regrets for the choices I've made. Life is too short to live regretting the past. Move on.
13.
Annie
Ann Arbor, MI
March 23rd, 2011
1:45 pm
Je ne regrette rien.
14.
SNA
Westfield NJ
March 23rd, 2011
1:46 pm
getting married and having children
15.
mexico, mo
March 23rd, 2011
1:47 pm
The Buddha says, have no regrets, and philosophically, I see the wisdom in disattachment. But the longer I live, the more I see the wisdom in emotional investment despite the inevitable resulting sorrow. How I wish I had spent more time with loved ones who have passed on.
16.
nospar
New York
March 23rd, 2011
1:47 pm
"Je ne regrette rien" - Piaf "Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention ..." - Sinatra “Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable” - Sydney Smith If there is something to desire,
there will be something to regret.
If there is something to regret,
there will be something to recall.
If there is something to recall,
there was nothing to regret.
If there was nothing to regret,
there was nothing to desire.
- Vera Pavlova
17.
Steve
Rockville Centre
March 23rd, 2011
1:48 pm
Not wearing sun screen.
I guarantee all you kids will be sorry you weren't more careful in the sun!
18.
Sharon Blake Edgar
Sonoma County, CA
March 23rd, 2011
1:50 pm
The first thing, the only thing, that comes to mind is falling in love and not leaving within the week. Big mistake and the regret of my life.
19.
Sveatter
Woodbridge,NJ
March 23rd, 2011
1:50 pm
Not having made more of opportunities (various) because of fear & ignorance.
20.
Lafayette, LA
March 23rd, 2011
1:50 pm
I am 43, now firmly in middle age, and I find that my regrets are becoming more pronounced. I have a fabulous life now- great marriage, a career I love and wonderful children. But as I ruminate on my wincingly obnoxious youth, I can't help but hate the person that I was- casually cruel and caddish towards young ladies who wanted nothing more than to share their lives with me. To be quite honest, I used my looks and social standing as a fierce kind of leverage. If I could go back and change one thing, it would be the way that I treated them.
21.
Hamden, CT
March 23rd, 2011
1:51 pm
At 63, that I wasn't a little more promiscuous in my youth.
22.
New York, New York
March 23rd, 2011
1:51 pm
Very interesting question. I've been so blessed, it's hard to come up with a regret. I wish I'd been an easier adolescent on my parents, but I hope I made up for it by being a devoted adult.
23.
Eileen Rogers RN
Springfield, NJ
March 23rd, 2011
1:51 pm
No regrets. I honestly would do everything over the same way; given the info I had at the time I made decisions. When I made a less-than-optimal decision, I was able to take responsibility and repair the damage. Now if you asked me this same question when I was in my earlier years, I would have offered a list of regrets. But I am 55 and it is what it is. And it's all good because it is OUR life story. We (hopefully) adopt a different philosophy toward life as we reach the half-way point.
24.
anna
New York
March 23rd, 2011
1:51 pm
"Dr. Roese notes that regret can be damaging to mental health when a person fixates or ruminates on the missed opportunity. However, regret, although painful, has the potential to refocus attention and improve decision making"
Yeah, uniquely American - "regret can be damaging to mental health" and "improve decision making." Recently, a well known literary person/publisher known for his barbaric treatment of people announced that he didn't have any regrets. Mentally healthy person. Unlike those who regret mistakes they made in treating others and don't regret mistakes which cost them THEIR suffering.
I'd like to introduce Americans to a new concept: ethics.
25.
AngelaM
New York
March 23rd, 2011
1:53 pm
My biggest regret is that I was a relatively heavy smoker for 25 years. I kicked the habit in 1988 but it would have been better if I'd never started in the first place. I don't regret much else. Whatever errors I blundered through in years past made me who I am today and I'm pretty happy with that. Just the darned cigarettes. How could I have been so stupid!

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