And last night, party darling Susanne Bartch (above) and the Zand Collective kicked off their Tuesday "On Top" event, which was filled with night creatures of all varieties--some wearing paint, others donning bread baskets, and groups of hot guys simply sporting dental-floss-thin bathing suits as they made a splash in every way imaginable.

Photo by Christian Svoboda

What you witnessed from a better perch were snippets of the ballet company's upcoming season--some old, some new, all swell--though the biggest crowd-pleasing act, as usual, was when dancers twirled over and over till they looked dizzier than a socalite's hairdresser.

For this crowd, you spin, you win.

Reeks of Oscar, right?

Well, I know the answer.

"My bad"

"It's all good"

"Narrative"

"Journey"

"Epic fail"

"Love your hair, hope you win"

And...

"Winning!"

But still, if I ever hear this one more time, I will rip my nipples off!

I'm talking about...

"Last night, the Dunkin Donuts located at 73 Christopher was terrorized and attacked by 30 kids, causing over $5000 in damage.

But now the whole world is ending!!!!

If you believe Reverend Harold Camping--and why would he lie?--this Saturday at 6 PM, bad shit is going to go down and two percent of the populace will be "raptured" to heaven while the rest is ruptured to a way lower berth.

But a whole new bunch of trash must have fallen off the truck because the other day, on my trip to the Boardwalk Empire, I found a cache of bestiality books piled up right next to the childrens fiction!

Not close enough to Chelsea, I guess--or HK. Or whatever.

Though it was delightfully close to my house.

Anyway, please go Saturday and show your love--the same love you viciously denied them when they were looking for business!

Here are the six cover tunes that I feel brought the most originality and fresh energy to standard tunes, making it more than worth the effort to do the remaking.

(6) "It's My Life" by No Doubt. (2003.)

Gwen Stefani gave the old Talk Talk song both a defiance and a girliness which made it spunkily endearing--her trademark, after all. A lovely dance hall surprise.

"Never meant to be. Love child--not born in poverty..."

Yes, Arnold Schwazrenegger pumped his iron over 10 years ago, and fathered a love child with a member of his household staff.

And that was instrumental in Maria Shriver recently saying "Hasta la vista, baby" to her pole-swinging caveman of a husband.

When we recently discussed the split on this blog, my main guess--really going out on a limb here--was his pussy hounding.