Neglected and resentful? Not a chance! New book claims middle children are life's risk-takers and trailblazers

Proving the stereotype wrong, 52 per cent of presidents are middleborn - as are Nelson Mandela, Madonna and Bill Gates

By Daisy Dumas

Last updated at 8:53 PM on 4th August 2011

The term 'middle child' comes with heavy stereotypical weight attached.

Ask many what they feel characterises a middle child and reactions tend to veer overwhelmingly towards the negative.

But 'middles' have been misrepresented and under-researched - and it's time to set the record straight, say the authors of a new book, The Secret Power of Middle Children.

Middle leaders: Successful middle children include the Dalai Lama, left, and Madonna. Middleborns tend to put fairness before money, say the authors

Given that any family with three or more children will have a middle child, middles are no minority. In fact, there are around 70 million middle children in America.

According to the media, say the book's authors, Catherine Salmon and Katrin Schumann, those 70 million are often portrayed with the nebulous label 'middle child syndrome.'

'Characterised by neglect, resentment, low creativity, lack of career focus, a negative outlook on life, the feeling that they don’t belong,' write the authors, 'the overall picture is tremendously negative.'

This seems to be backed up by numbers, too. They cite a study from the City College of New York that asked participants to describe birth order positions.

Presidential child: 16th US President, Abraham Lincoln, was a middle child

While middleborns were the only birth order that did not have the word 'spoiled' as a descriptor, they were also the only birth order that was described as 'neglected/overlooked' and 'confused.'

They shared many traits with other birth orders, such as 'caring,' 'outgoing,' and 'responsible,' but it was the traits that make people different that seem to define how they are viewed. Like it or not, middle children are labelled confused.

'In reality,' write Ms Salmon and Ms Schumann, 'contrary to expectations, middleborns are agents of change in business, politics, and science - more so than firstborns or lastborns.'

It may come as a surprise that, contrary to hearsay, 52 per cent of U.S. presidents are middleborn - John F. Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln are just two examples.

The Dalai Lama, Nelson Mandela, Charles Darwin, Ernest Hemingway, Warren Buffett, Donald Trump, Madonna and Bill Gates also hold middle child status.

'They’re more motivated by fairness than money when making life choices, and have a deep sense of family, friends, and loyalty. History shows them to be risk takers and trailblazers, yet they do suffer needlessly from poor self-esteem,' write the authors.

It's a status that Alex Watson, a middle child from London, can easily relate to.

A creative consultant, Mr Watson says he was determined to be different to his siblings. His older brother, 33, and younger sister, 28 are both accountants.

'It made me more independent. I always felt I had choices, I didn't have to follow rules,' the 31-year-old told MailOnline.

The book highlights the diplomacy of middle children, who are, say the authors, often peacemakers: 'Middles are self-aware team players with remarkable diplomatic skills. Because they’re both outgoing and flexible, they tend to deal well with others—in the workplace and at home,' say the authors.

Speaking on the Today show, Ms Salmon said that middles are 'bold, adventurous, positive people.'

Her co-author Ms Schumann went on: 'They have to earn their self-esteem and build confidence with age and experience.'

And because they have dealt with competition from both sides, they don't like conflict and have great peacemaking and negotiation skills.

The Secret Power of Middle Children debunks popular beliefs

Mr Watson agrees: 'It's better to sit back and let louder voices speak first.'

'If you speak first, you're easily dismissed - the others had positions that made them better heard,' he said. 'I've become a diplomat, bringing different opinions together.'

His role is echoed by Hannah Thomson, a 28-year-old PA in London. She told MailOnline that, as second child of four, she 'plays a lead role.'

'I organise the whole family,' she says. 'I am the communication link between parents and the others more or less.'

The authors told the Today show that middle children instead tend to be very caring, altruistic and highly invested in the welfare of others.

Certainly, Mr Watson and Ms Thomson both seem to debunk the common misconception of resentment.

Amy Pickles, 33, is a media researcher in Dubai. Contrary to feeling neglected, she told MailOnline: 'Being number two of four girls is without question full of merits: you get to be one of the big girls without having to be the one constantly forced to break the new ground.

'You don't have the responsibility of being the eldest nor the stigma or fomo (fear of missing out) of the youngest.'

Bold and positive indeed.

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