Complex statements for the simple minded...

I wonder if whoever wrote this graduated from Westminster High School? :-)

Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface.
On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
The world's full of apathy, but I don't care.
Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.
Prejudiced people are all alike.
What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds?
Those who judge others will burn in Hell!
Exageration is not all it's cracked up to be.
Evil is not all bad.
I'm still not sure if I understand ambiguity.
Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness (or, It's hard to tell if someone is inconspicous).
There's no such thing as nonexistance.
Cooperation can only be reached if we work togerther.
As far as I'm concerned, treachery will sometimes bring loyalty into question.
He doesn't have much of a reputation, or so I've heard.
I disagree with unanimity.
I have my doubts about disbelief.
Avoid Alliteration. Always.
Prepostions are not words to end sentences with.
One should never generalize.
Avoid cliches like the plague.
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
Profanity sucks.
I always try to do things in chronological order.
A Plateau is the highest form of flattery.
I have a twin brother; he's identical, but I'm not.
Exageration is a billion times worse than understatement.
Death to all fanatics!
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you (or, ...then you didn't do it right!)
If you believe in telekenesis, raise my hands.
An oral contract isn't worth the paper its written on. -- Sam Goldwyn
Don't chew [or eat] with your mouth full.
It's Deja Vu all over again.
If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
I always wanted to be a procrastinator!
Rehab is for quitters!
To understand recursion, you must first understand recursion.
If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for two weeks.
The shortest distance between two points is how far apart they are.
Don't be redundant by repeating yourself.
Grammar has gots to be one of the most importantest things ever?
Some people type so fast that forget to include
When all is said and done, much more is said than done
My identity lies in not knowing who I am
I am becoming increasingly worried that there isn't enough anxiety in my life
I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid
Free advice is worth what you paid for it
Entropy just isn't what it used to be
I can't define irony;but, I know it when I see it
I keep telling myself that I am a pathological liar, but I am not sure if I believe it
Not only am I redundant & superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary
There are only three kinds of people; people who can count and people who can't
"No, officer. I do not wish to give up my right to remain silent!!??"
Reality is a big, nasty, vicious dragon, but I don't believe in dragons.

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