THE INFLUENCE OF ANXIETY:
Wading In

By MARIE MUNDACA

This month, Dorothy Parka takes a much deserved vacation. In her place as guest writer is HBC staff writer Marie Mundaca.

A long time ago, I gave David Foster Wallace a birthday card, which I signed with the last line of one of his novellas, Westward the Course of the Empire Takes Its Way. The story is about pretentiously earnest students trying to find a new way to write fiction, rebelling against their post-modernist professor. The protagonist wants "to write something that stabs you in the heart," subjecting the reader to the sort of pain "only real lovers can inflict." He doesn't get there in the course of the story, but Wallace ends this 150-page novella with this: "You are loved." It's a cruel, beautiful, messy story, and I adored the sentiment so much that I decided to sign my birthday card to him with his own very detached declaration.

David Foster Wallace was a big part of why I wanted to work at Little, Brown and Company. It was just a strange twist of fortune that the production people there also get to art direct the books' interiors. And another strange twist that I had a book design background. When Wallace published Oblivion, I decided to design it myself.

It's a little odd to design interiors for fiction and literary non-fiction. It's just text—what is there to do? There are the obvious things, like leaving enough space at the margins. Basically, the designer's job is to pick a font that enhances what she thinks the book conveys, make all the text fit in the amount of pages editorial thinks it will take up, and decide what to do with the chapter openers and any strange elements, like lists and subheads. Designing Oblivion was easy: I picked a classic font that fit a lot of words on the page but was still easy to read. I wanted to emphasize the density of the thoughts, but still allow the reader the opportunity to linger on the page. I decided on generous gutter and outer margins, and a slightly longer than average lines-per-page count to highlight the structural aspects of the book. Oblivion opens and closes with stories that feature giant, imposing women. They reminded me of caryatids —the columns in female form that stand outside ancient Greek temples. The pages are the columns of that temple. The words are what readers come to worship, meditate, ponder.

I did not communicate with the author when I did Oblivion. It was pretty straightforward, and it's LB's custom that all communication go through the editor. The design was approved with no changes, the book was set, and we were done.

Consider the Lobster was a little different. Most of the book was very typical, but there was one particular essay called "Host" that required some special treatment. Wallace, infamous for his footnotes and endnotes, wanted to try something a little different with "Host." He wanted to stress the immediacy of communication and the speed of thought that occurred in the studio where the talk radio DJ John Ziegler worked. The Atlantic Monthly had already run a version of this essay and did a spectacular design job, using a format with color-coded callouts, as if someone had highlighted a script and made note in the margins. However, there are intrinsic differences between a magazine and a book. The Atlantic Monthly used color; we were not going to do that. Magazines are usually 8-1/2 x 11, and we were 6 x 9. We had to figure out a way to do this essay.

A page from David Foster Wallace's essay "Host" in Consider the Lobster.
Wallace's idea was to have leaders and labels, like a diagram. He wanted something that looked like hypertext rollovers that were immediate and at hand. I thought this whole thing might be a bit much for me to design. It seemed like it might be a full-time job. I sent it off to one of my favorite designers, who shot me an email back saying something along the lines of "There is not enough money in the world to make me do this."

So I did it. Had I realized at the time that this job would entail my spending close to an hour every few weeks talking to my favorite author ever on the phone, I would have never considered giving it to anyone else. Mostly we just went over changes that needed to be made, but initially we had some very intense discussions regarding the semiotics of the leaders (the lines going from the text to the boxes) and the tics and the line width of the boxes and the ampersands. He'd leave me voice mail messages at work in the middle of the night, telling me what time I should call him the next day. One time when I called, I got his answering machine, but when I began to leave a message, he picked up. "I heard your mellifluous voice," he said. Sometimes I'd hear the dog barking in the background. He was recently married, and he obviously relished saying "my wife" when he would tell me about upcoming plans and where I could find him if I needed him.

I always knew we would work on another book together. I didn't know that he'd be dead when that happened.

I haven't worked at Little, Brown for several years, but in late 2008 they were kind enough to allow me to design This Is Water, the book version of his Kenyon College commencement speech from 2005. The speech was widely circulated after his death, both for its incredibly sage advice and its references to suicide.

Working on This Is Water was emotionally exhausting. By this point he had ceased being David Foster Wallace, author, and had become Dave, a dear acquaintance whom I missed dreadfully. Spending so much time ruminating on the words that failed to save him was a bit much. Reading his sagacious words about mindfulness and kindness were a continuous reminder of what the world lost. I couldn't do anything else for Dave, and so instead I fretted over where the mostly sparse text should start on the page, the thickness of the wavy lines meant to evoke water, whether the text should be centered or flushed left or justified or ragged. I went through several designs before I was satisfied enough to submit one, and that came back with corrections, as I suspected it would.. While no major changes were made, tiny adjustments showed how much everyone was emotionally invested in this book. Everyone wanted it to be perfect.

When the book design was finally approved and the pages marked up, I felt spent, depleted, and incredibly sad. I wanted to hear that soft voice on the other end of the phone, calling from Arizona or California, dogs barking, wife calling out that she'd be right back. I wanted to discuss ampersands and his schedule. I walked home that day, a rather warmish day in late November 2008, my head down, staring at the sidewalk, thinking about Dave. Oblique pink-tinged light cast a strange glow as I trudged down West 20th Street, past the noisy café, the cramped police station and the smoky youth hostel. I saw that something was written on the sidewalk a few doors down, and as I approached I saw a note scrawled in chalk whose words made my heart jump with happiness as I read them.

"You are loved."

(June, 2009)

 
     

© 2007 hipsterbookclub.com
All Rights Reserved