This guy goes to a dance club, but he's stopped and the door by the bouncer who tells him he can't come in without a coat and tie. The guy goes back to his car and rummages around. He finds an old sport jacket, but he can't find a tie; the closest comes is a set of jumper cables, which he puts around his neck and ties in a half-windsor. He goes back to the bouncer and says "Will this do?"
"Okay, I'll let you in," the bouncer says, "but don't start anything."
I'm looking to put together the definitive list of car jokes. Know any? Submit your favorite(s) on this page. Please, keep it clean (the elephant/mouse/Corvette joke is out). Go ahead -- make me laugh! -- Aaron Gold
My wife Robin and I are still on the road -- and we're still in Utah. Though our original plan was to venture east to New Mexico, we just can't seem to get past the splendors of this state. And that brings me to the best purchases I've made in years: Our National Park Service Annual Pass. 
I just did some quick math, and realized that in the last ten days, I've traveled over 20,000 miles.