CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 3/3: Complete "virtual-time" coverage of Impact on Spike - TNA & Tag Title matches, Hogan returns, wedding, retirement match, celebrities
TNA Impact Results on Spike TV
March 3, 2011
Taped 2/24 in Fayetteville, N.C.
Report by James Caldwell, PWTorch assistant editor
[Q1] Opening: Impact opened right away in the ring with TNA president Dixie Carter emerging on-stage and making her way to the ring. Carter took a mic from So Cal Val and Jeremy Borash before entering the ring. Carter, shaking and acting nervous, thanked TNA fans for their emails, Tweets, and Facebook messages for their support. She said she's here to discuss the legal result from this morning. Before she could say things didn't go as she hoped, Immortal's familiar opening-segment theme music hit.
Eric Bischoff and Matt Hardy led Immortal to the ring as Hardy did a cartoony "get her outta here" gesture and Bischoff wiped away a fake tear. With everyone in the ring, Bischoff wiped away more fake tears. Meanwhile, Gunner was doing a cartoony wide-eyed stare in the background. Bischoff said they were going to let Dixie have her time to thank the fans, but he can't stand around waiting through her speech. Bischoff told Dixie she's a woman in a man's world, but he respects her for having a huge set of...balls.
Ric Flair spoke next, reminding Dixie they're in Flair Country. Flair said all Dixie had to do was take his room key and take a ride and things would have been fine. Flair said they get the fans off, the talent doesn't get off on the fans. Flair said they want the power, so they need Dixie's money, time and energy. Flair told Dixie there's a Holiday Inn down the road before introducing the "man, the legend that makes Immortal, Hulk Hogan."
The videoboard dropped and Hulk Hogan emerged on-stage posing for the crowd as Dixie continued to act emotionally distraught in the ring. Mike Tenay spoke up that Hogan and Bischoff are and have always been power-hungry. Hogan, in the ring, said he's amped up because of the electricity in the building, but since he was in the court room with Dixie "today," he can safely say he controls 100 percent of TNA. Hogan said TNA is all his. Dixie shook her head and sold fighting back tears. Hogan told Dixie that she's unemployed.
Hogan paused, then said some people think he's an egomaniac, but no one believes her own hype like Dixie. Hogan said they used Dixie to get right back on top of the wrestling business. While Dixie was being delusional, she forget her place in TNA. Hogan said Dixie supplies the money. Period. She shook her head no. It wasn't about being partners, Hogan said. He called Dixie a weak woman. He said the only thing Dixie has left is her dignity, which they're fixin' to take away right now. Hogan said Dixie has the fans, but they don't have much to say about it. "They do," Dixie whispered with a soft voice.
Suddenly, a new Fortune theme music hit. Dixie desperately clapped for the arrival of A.J. Styles, Beer Money, and Kazarian on-stage. Styles said they can do this the easy way or the hard way. He said Fortune likes doing it the hard way anyways, but there's a woman in the ring. Kazarian added a kindergarten-level comment, "And by woman, he's not talking about you, Eric Bischoff." Styles gave a shout-out to Fayetteville before telling Dixie to leave the ring. Styles helped her out as Bischoff waved her good-bye.
Robert Roode spoke next. Roode said he can't believe Hogan is the reason he became a pro wrestler. Roode said there's an old saying you should never meet your idols because all they'll do is let you down. Roode said that statement couldn't be any more true. Flair interrupted Hogan is his friend. "Shut up, Flair, I'm not talking to you," Roode interrupted. Flair said now Roode is "talking to God." Flair told Roode to kiss Hogan's ass, then kiss his ass, then keep walking. Roode said how about they kick Flair's ass instead. Security made its first appearance 14 minutes into the show to hold off Fortune as Immortal stood in the ring looking for a fight. Tenay sent it to a break.
[Q2] [Commercial Break]
Backstage: Immortal was shown strutting down the hallway, then they greeted the N.Y. Jets's Bart Scott. Hogan introduced Scott to everyone. Hogan told Hardy they need to break Scott in. Hardy took Scott away, then Hardy and Scott bumped into Dixie walking along with Styles and Kazarian. Dixie jogged away trying to sell that she was frightened. Suddenly, the four men broke out into a scrap. Scott and Kazarian paired off. Security appearance #2 20 minutes into the show trying to separate everyone. Suddenly, Jeff Jarrett and Karen Jarrett emerged and walked through the brawl, no-selling the scrap. "We're here!" Jeff announced to no one in particular.
Video package: Jeff-Karen-Kurt issues leading to the wedding vow renewal tonight on Impact. Back to Tenay, who promoted the ceremony still to come.
Backstage: Eric Bischoff was talking to Hulk Hogan about The Network again. Bischoff said the Network decided Jeff Hardy will defend the TNA Title tonight. He said they won't tell him who Hardy is defending against, but he assumes it's Mr. Anderson. Hogan reminded Bischoff it's the wrestling business, so anything can happen, but it's clear they're already trying to go around him since he's in-charge of anything in-ring wrestling related.
In-ring: They went to the ring where Gunner and Murphy were randomly posing over each other. They finished their pose when Beer Money's music hit to bring out the tag champions for the TNA Tag Title match.
1 -- TNA tag champions BEER MONEY (ROBERT ROODE & JAMES STORM) vs. GUNNER & MURPHY -- TNA Tag Title match
Before the bell could sound, G&M; attacked Roode to quickly take control of Storm in the ring. They quickly built to a hot-tag for Roode, who cleaned house on the heels from Immortal.
[Q3] Roode wanted a side effect on Gunner, but transitioned into a spinebuster for a nearfall. Gunner then accidentally smashed Murphy with a double sledgehammer, giving Beer Money an opening for a double suplex on Murphy. The tag champs then did their Beer...Money routine and set up Gunner for the DWI. It was good for the pin and the win.
WINNERS: Beer Money at 3:07. Quick, decisive victory for Beer Money, which is what it should have been against inferior opposition. The in-ring action looked big-league in a slick-looking arena setting compared to the Impact Zone. (*)
Post-match: Ink, Inc.'s music hit to bring out Shannon Moore and Jesse Neal. Shannon addressed Storm before giving a shout-out to "his people" in North Carolina. Moore said chapter 13 of the Book of DILLIGAF says Victory Road's marquee will read Beer Money vs. Ink, Inc. in a Tag Title match. Storm said they'll give them the Tag Title shot because they are the best tag team in the business today.
Backstage: Karen and Jeff were preparing for the ceremony. Karen said she got a ten-foot wedding cake, prompting Jeff to say, "That's so Karen." Suddenly, Eric Young interrupted from a side restroom in the Jarrett dressing room. He had a tuxedo t-shirt on and said he'll be the best man. "No!" Jeff said. Maid of honor. Bridesmaid? Ring bearer? Jeff finally agreed, which drew Karen's ire. "C'mon, it's just Eric," Jeff said before they made out.
Garage: A stretch hummer pulled up and Angelina from Jersey Shore emerged before walking into the building. ... Tenay quickly went into plug mode hyping the wedding. Also, Jeff Hardy defends the TNA Title against the "Network's" handpicked opponent. Will Anderson get his re-match?
Backstage: Kurt Angle was shown walking into the building holding his son's hand.
In-ring: Sarita and Rosita were in the ring for the next match. Beautiful People's music hit and Velvet Sky, accompanied by rail-thin Angelina Love, stomped to the ring for her potential retirement match against Sarita if she loses.
2 -- VELVET SKY (w/Angelina Love) vs. SARITA (w/Rosita) -- Sky retires if she loses
One minute in, Angelina and Rosita brawled into the ring, so ref Earl Hebner booted them from ringside. One minute later, Velvet hit a DDT for the pin and the win to keep her career. Angelina then celebrated with Velvet.
WINNER: Velvet at 2:01.
[Q4] Post-match: The Shore's music hit and Cookie, Robbie E., and Angelina from Jersey Shore came to the ring. In the ring, Love said she's the real Angelina. The Shore eventually entered the ring where Angelina cut a promo on the Beautiful People. Velvet responded, then JS Angelina shoved Velvet, prompting a brawl to break out. Sarita provided back-up to The Shore, then the heels left the ring with a temporary victory. As the heels left, BP Angelina challenged Cookie, JS Angelina, and Sarita to a six-way match next week.
Still to come: wedding ceremony and Jeff Hardy defending the TNA Title.
Backstage: A camera caught up to Mr. Anderson, who thought he was getting a title shot tonight. He said everyone (Bischoff, Hardy, the Network) made a mistake last week giving RVD a title shot, but he knows it will be made right tonight.
Backstage: Eric Young walked into the locker room where Orlando Jordan was getting dressed. Young said he's the ring bearer and Jordan is the flower girl. "Flower girl?" Jordan tried to ask, but Young kept on-talking before realizing he lost the ring. Young suddenly spotted Jordan wearing a nose ring and demanded the ring back. He suplexed Jordan, but Jordan told Young to check his shoe. Young found the ring in his shoe, then covered for his "error" that it was a test. Jordan is still Young's best friend.
Restroom: Ric Flair wanted to talk to Double J about the honeymoon. Jeff said he knows Flair is an expert on honeymoons, but his plan is to get on a big jet airplane, head down to Orlando, get the VIP passes, and get to the front of the line at a big family concert. Flair shot him a look like he's an idiot. "We're talking about a honeymoon!" he said. Flair said it's about wine, flowers, lingerie, and follow the leader. Jeff said Flair just doesn't understand what this relationship is all about.
Backstage: Kurt was showing his son how to wrap his wrist. Someone randomly walked over and took Kurt's son away for the rest of the night.
Still to come: Jeff Hardy defends the TNA Title. "But, against who?" Taz asked.
Backstage: Hulk Hogan was on the phone, apparently with the Network. He said it's not an issue of Hardy defending the title regularly, but the guessing game. Hogan said he doesn't agree with surprises = ratings. He said you build things up, then hit the surprise. Hogan told Network Exec you also don't surprise the guys you're in business with. Hogan sold frustration after hanging up.
[Q5 -- second hour]
In-ring: Tenay and Taz fed to the wedding ceremony starting at the top of the hour. They cut to the minister in the ring with an odd look on his face. Eric Young and Orlando Jordan then emerged. Young was his typical fidgety self as Jordan, in a black cocktail dress, rolled his eyes. Jeff Jarrett then emerged in a tuxedo and walked down the red carpet to the ring. However, Kurt Angle ran down the ramp and smashed Jeff from behind. They brawled up the entrance ramp to the stage where the giant cake was. Kurt rocked Jeff with right hands as Jeff teetered close to the cake.
Suddenly, Karen emerged and jumped on Kurt's back screaming and cursing. Karen slapped Kurt, then Kurt shoved Karen face-first into the cake. Kurt's music hit and Jeff held his head in agony as Karen screamed and cried and shouted. Kurt played to the crowd a bit as Karen continued to have a moment. That was a three-minute segment.
Backstage: Jeff Hardy was relaxing on a couch as Hogan sat down to talk about him. He said they can't control Hardy being branded a "fighting champion" and the Network wanting him to go again tonight. Hogan said the company is on a roll and everyone is looking to Hardy to step up tonight. Hardy nonchalantly said, "All right." Hogan said he can't get the Network to tell him who he's facing tonight, though. That wasn't all right in Hardy's book. Hogan said the Network thinks a big surprise will "put this thing over the top." What does that even mean? Hogan said Hardy is their leader and they're in as much jeopardy as he is. He said he'd take him out at the 7-Eleven down the road if he knew who the opponent was. Hogan gave Hardy a pep-talk to handle it. "You're the one we wanted. You stepped up and won the title, man," Hogan said.
Moments Ago: Tenay and Taz recapped Kurt sending Karen face-first into her giant cake.
Backstage: Jeff and Karen were screaming at Eric Bischoff and Ric Flair. Bischoff eventually told them to stop yelling, take a shower, and take a breath. Jarrett demanded the wedding take place tonight. Karen slammed a side door as Bischoff sold a near heart attack. Hulk Hogan walked in and asked Bischoff who the Network is sending in to face Hardy. "Are you thinking who I'm thinking?" Hogan asked. Bischoff said he hopes it's not him. Flair walked off to take care of some business.
In-ring: Rob Terry emerged on-stage for the next match. Terry slowly made his way to the ring as the announcers recapped the Terry-Scott Steiner pose-down not going down as planned. Scott Steiner's music hit to bring out Steiner for a full intro.
3 -- SCOTT STEINER vs. ROB TERRY
Terry tried to get a headstart, but Steiner quickly cut him off and clotheslined Terry to the floor. On the floor, Terry took control by reversing a whip into the ringpost. Back in the ring, Terry executed a powerslam for a nearfall.
[Q6] Steiner came back with a trademark belly-to-belly suplex before warming up for a big clothesline. He connected, then warmed up an elbow drop for a nearfall before doing some push-ups. Steiner wanted a top-rope fallaway slam and connected. Steiner called for the end and applied the Steiner Recliner center-ring. Terry eventually tapped, giving Steiner a decisive win.
WINNER: Steiner via submission at 3:18. Two decisive victories for Fortune/They/Crimson's Crew over Immortal on tonight's show. (*)
Backstage: Ric Flair and Bart Scott walked up to Karen Angle in the locker room. Flair said Angle is getting himself into trouble, so he found himself an enforcer in the form of Bart Scott. Flair told Kurt that if he interferes in Karen & Jeff's wedding again, Bart will kick his ass and Angle will be on the frontpage of the New York Times. Bart walked up to Kurt and told him he's a lot smaller in person.
Announcers: Tenay and Taz were joined by an MMA fighter, Joe Warren, from U. of Michigan. Warren plugged Bellator before Hernandez's music hit to bring out Hernandez for the next match on the show. The announcers recapped Hernandez taking it to Matt Morgan at the Victory Road PPV last month. Back to Impact, Morgan's music hit and Morgan emerged on-stage as DNA graphics spun on the video board. Morgan then hit the ring and the match was on.
4 -- MATT MORGAN vs. HERNANDEZ
Morgan shoved a boot into Hernandez's throat, drawing ref Hebner's ire. Morgan followed with a big corner clothesline followed by a sidewalk slam for a nearfall. Hernandez tried to leave, but Morgan gave chase and threw Hernandez back into the ring. Morgan then slowly re-entered the ring and Hernandez begged off. Morgan blasted him with a boot to the face anyways, then shook of an attempted t-shirt choke and grabbed the t-shirt. Morgan proceeded to t-shirt choke toss Hernandez clear across the ring. Morgan continued the assault with rapid-fire left and right elbow strikes before clotheslining Hernandez over the top rope to the floor.
On the floor, Hernandez begged off again, then Hernandez yanked Morgan by the tights face-first into the ring steps. Hernandez rammed Morgan face-first into the steps three more times and the ref called for a DQ. Hernandez confidently walked off as the camera focused on Morgan bleeding from the forehead.
WINNER: Morgan via DQ at 4:23. Morgan dominated most of the match before the DQ ending, so it looks like they're keeping the program going until Hernandez gets his comeuppance. (*1/4)
[Q7] Backstage: Hogan was on the phone demanding to know who's in the main event against Jeff Hardy tonight. Hogan told someone to bring Anderson in here. Anderson then walked in and closed the office door three-fourths of the way. Hogan said he hates Anderson, but he smells money when Anderson when he walks in the room. Hogan informed Anderson he's not getting his title shot tonight. Anderson flipped out as Hogan told him they're in the same boat not knowing what's going on. Anderson screamed at Hogan, so Hogan sat down. Anderson told Hogan to go ahead and shove his fist down his throat. Hogan took off his backbrace and Anderson mocked him. He said Hogan disgusts him. Anderson stormed off, then Hogan told Anderson to let him know the next time he slams a 700-pound giant.
Still to come: if it's not Anderson, who is Hardy facing for the TNA Title tonight? Take 2 of the Jarrett wedding is next.
Spike preview: "The Network" ran a preview for a new "Roy Meets Girl" show up next with some guy asking sexual-related questions to women.
In-ring: Time for the second try at the wedding. Young and Jordan re-emerged as ring bearer and flower girl, respectively. Young had a big, goofy grin on his face as Jarrett walked out again. No sneak-attack by Kurt this time. Jarrett stood next to the minister, then Here Comes The Bride played. Karen, still covered in cake remnants, walked out on-stage with Kurt, who forced a smile. Jeff nodded along with a big smile as Karen struggled to walk with cake still in her eyes. In the ring, Kurt even joined Jeff and Karen's hands together before giving Jeff a big pat on the back. Jeff sold that he was a bit nervous about Kurt acting so happy while standing two feet away from him.
The minister began the re-commitment ceremony before asking the audience if anyone objects. The crowd booed, but that didn't count. The minister had a question for Jarrett. He asked Jeff if he will honor, keep, and be faithful to Karen. "I have and I will," Jeff responded. Karen also said, "I have and I will." The minister asked the crowd if they will support the marriage, but the crowd booed. Taz: "I thought this was the Bible belt."
Next was Jarrett with his vows. Jarrett said he has a tendency to be long-winded and he's a bit nervous, so he wrote down his vows. Jarrett said he will always treat Karen with respect unlike a gutless coward. Kurt continued to smile along with a big grin as Jeff scooted Karen over in case Kurt was going to strike. Karen was next. Kurt continued to smile. "You suck," chant from the crowd. Karen said Jeff is right that he's a real man unlike "another man." Karen said Jeff always makes sure the princess gets what she wants. Before they go to bed, Jeff always makes sure Karen is "taken care of" unlike "another man."
[Q8] Karen continued to talk about how unselfish Jeff is with the family. "Bottom line, Jeff Jarrett, you complete me," she said. Next will be the ring ceremony. Young pulled out Karen's ring from his shoe, then handed it over to Jeff, who repeated the minister's vow. Karen then accepted Jeff's ring from Young and repeated after the minister. The minister then declared they are married by the "authority invested in me." And by the DMV.
After Jeff and Karen kissed, Kurt asked if they're done here. Kurt then pulled out...an ax. He proceeded to bash the wedding set as Jeff and Karen high-tailed it out of the ring. Suddenly, Kurt's music hit and he stood tall in the ring with ax in-hand. Bart Scott then came out on-stage with Eric Bischoff, who sent Bart to the ring to confront Angle. Bart talked trash, then shoved Angle. Taz said he's a Jets fan, but this might not be a good move. Bart shoved Kurt once again, then Kurt turned to leave, but Bart piefaced him. Scott proceeded to drop Bart on the mat, then apply the Anklelock. Scott tapped out before security hit the ring and pulled Angle off Scott. Tenay told Taz it's symbolic of the Jets tapping out since 1969. Bart fake-limped out of the ring with the help of security as Taz told Tenay he didn't appreciate that.
Backstage: In a Reaction shot, Jeff Hardy said he's "Jeff (bleeping) Hardy" and he doesn't care who the Network throws at him. ... Parking garage: As the hurry-up-and-go-to-commercial Impact music played in the background, they quickly went to a five-second clip of a limo pulling up backstage and a door opening.
Announcers: Tenay plugged it's time for the main event with the TNA World Title on the line. Cue up Jeff Hardy's music and the lights were turned off in the arena. They played a lightshow on the videoboard before Hardy's Legends of the Hidden Temple-esque logo flashed on the screen. Hardy emerged on-stage and slowly made his way to the ring while surveying the crowd. With Hardy in the ring, Borash said, "And introducing his opponent..."
[Q9 -- over-run] After a pause, 3/3/11 flashed on the videoboard. Lightning flashed, then Sting's familiar TNA music played. Hardy looked down to the ground as Sting slowly turned around on the stage. Sting was sporting a bright red and yellow ring jacket with red facepaint mixed with his classic white and black look. Hardy ducked out of the ring before Sting entered the ring and posed for the crowd. Tenay said they haven't Sting in four months since he walked away from TNA so he wouldn't have to deal with Hogan and Immortal. And now, the Network has spoken. Taz said there's been speculation on where Sting would end up and he's sticking around in TNA. Hardy continued to clutch his head in agony ringside, not wanting to enter the ring.
5 -- TNA World Hvt. champion JEFF HARDY vs. STING -- TNA World Title match
Once Hardy entered the ring, the bell sounded and Sting quickly teased the Scorpion Deathlock. Hardy bailed out of the ring, though, and the ref started a ten count while Sting remained in the ring. Hardy slowly re-entered and kicked Sting in the gut before landing a forearm to the back. Sting quickly came back with a second Scorpion Deathlock attempt. This time, he applied it and Hardy teased tapping out before getting the bottom rope for a break.
On the floor, Hardy tried to hobble away, but Sting caught up to him and landed a suplex on the entrance ramp. Sting then dragged Hardy down the entrance ramp and rammed him face-first into the guardrail. Sting then went for a Stinger Splash near another section of the ringside area, but Hardy moved and Sting ate the rail.
Back in the ring, Hardy stomped away on Sting before applying a reverse chinlock. Hardy teased the Twist of Hate, but Sting shoved him away. Hardy then tried right hand blows, but Sting no-sold and did the big shout in Hardy's face. Sting followed with a faceplant, then the Scorpion Deathdrop. Sting made a cover, but Hardy kicked out. Sting then hung Hardy upside down in the corner and landed a super Scorpion Deathdrop. Sting wasn't done and he landed a third SDD, this time center-ring. Sting made a cover for the win and there's a new TNA champion.
Post-match: Sting took Hardy's TNA Title belt and held it up for the crowd as Tenay and Taz wondered how Hogan and Immortal will react to this. With as much TV time as Hogan and Bischoff got on this show, there was oddly no "backstage reaction shot" before, during, or after the match. They signed off ten minutes past the top of the hour with a wide shot of Sting celebrating with the title.
WINNER: Sting at 6:15 to capture the TNA Title.
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Keep reading! Below are links to the six most recent TNA Impact articles. Have you grayed out each of them yet?... (or click here to return to front page main listing).
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| KELLER'S TNA IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT 10/13: Final hype for Bound for Glory including Hogan-Sting contract signing
| CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT 10/6: Ongoing "virtual-time" coverage of latest build-up to Bound for Glory, Storm vs. Roode
| KELLER'S TNA IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT 10/6: Hulk Hogan's "retirement" ceremony, Storm vs. Roode, Kaz vs. Gunner in Knoxville
| KELLER'S TNA IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT 9/29: Hogan makes his huge announcement, Roode vs. Styles, more BFG hype, another good show
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