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By
Ariel leve.
Tom Cruise has never had a drink problem. He has never made an
embarrassing sex tape or been photographed storming off the set
or fighting in public with a girlfriend. He has never become paunchy
or jowly or bloated. It's unlikely he'll ever be spotted wandering
aimlessly around Malibu in pyjamas. He doesn't moan about the
paparazzi or break down on the Oprah Winfrey show crying about
his oppressive childhood. He doesn't bare his soul or his wounds.
At least not publicly.
He's not tormented and he
doesn't wallow - about anything. Ever. Ask anyone, friends or
fans, what they think of Tom Cruise and "nice guy" will
be in their response - decent, generous, professional too. In
an industry where people feast on the carcasses of one another's
failures with glee, he remains respected and well liked.
Even a limousine driver, after breaking
the sacred covenant and dishing the dirt on some of the celebrities
he's driven, describes him as "Polite. A good tipper."
There's nothing "dirty" about Tom Cruise. At least nothing
we know of. And therein lies his gift. The biggest movie star
in the world - a man who has made 27 films, grossed more than
$2 billion at the box office in an 18-year career - retains a
unique super-power mightier even than his incandescent grin. He
is universally liked while being universally unknown.
It is early evening on the Paramount studio
lot, and before the golf cart has reached the sound stage where
our interview will take place I am made aware of the sanctity
of "time with Tom". I have been granted 45 minutes of
his undivided attention, and in Tom's world, where minutes are
worth millions, it resonates. It is a big deal. These are 45 minutes
during which he will not be jumping off a building, or climbing
up a rock, or ironing out a plot point, or being in transit from
one very important place to another. He is unfailingly organised.
Every second of his life is utilised and seized for maximum value.
His life is a tightly programmed machine. But is he?
This much I am told: the interview will
end at precisely 7.15pm. It is now 6.25pm, and I have been collected
from the hospitality suite and am led down a long, carpeted corridor
that leads to a darkened, empty sound stage. We stop. Twenty yards
ahead is a curtain. I see two silhouettes. We wait. Then, that
laugh. Tom Cruise is one of the figures behind the curtain. On
this side of the curtain two women sit on folding chairs, timing
what goes on behind it. One of them gets up and walks over to
where I wait with my chaperone. She tiptoes so her heels don't
make a noise. She whispers: "In one minute we'll walk you
over." One minute passes. They walk me over. I am now on
stand-by. The silhouettes rise. There is another raucous laugh
and a journalist emerges, beaming. Just then, the curtain is pulled
back and Tom Cruise jumps into a playful greeting, adopting a
karate-chop stance, inviting me in.
Though he is not a tall man, his personality
magnifies his stature. He is wearing black jeans, a snug, long-sleeved
dark-green T-shirt, and his small frame is taut and muscular.
His eyes seem vaguely, humanly, tired (he's been working since
5am), but his energy is voluminous. In person, as on screen, he
is exciting without being intimidating. He laughs easily, makes
intense eye contact, and can make an introductory handshake seem
like an intimate connection. He has the quality required of any
good politician: to make you feel as if there is nowhere else
he'd rather be.
We are in a makeshift living room with half-eaten
wrap sandwiches on a coffee table between two leather sofas. He
gestures for me to sit down and I sit at the end of one, he sits
on the other but we sit close, so close I can smell a residue
of garlic under the gum he's chewing. Even chewing gum, he seems
to exert an intense amount of energy.
Over the years, Cruise has betrayed very
little about himself; his interviews are recurring dual themes.
He is likable, affable and inoffensive, never irritating or difficult,
but he is also extremely careful and remains hidden, guarded and
distant. He engages but at the same time is disengaged. His gentlemanly
conduct is genuine and also a mask, perhaps a concession for his
stringently maintained privacy.
He has taken a break from filming Mission:
Impossible 3 to promote his latest film, the Michael Mann-directed
Collateral. In it he plays a hired assassin but, because it's
Tom Cruise, you still find yourself rooting for him. The character
is complex and angry and damaged and flawed; he nails these traits
with startling authenticity. In the past he has said: "Acting
is finding yourself in roles and bringing aspects of yourself
to life." So which aspect of his life is this anger coming
from?
"There's not one particular thing.
And I gotta tell you, when I do lose it, I don't kick the cat.
It's very specific, directed where it should be, and it takes
a lot. I'm not someone who just blows their stack." And the
last time he lost his temper? "The last time I lost it..."
There is a long pause. He looks down, thinking, and fixes me with
a look. "I don't lose it, I direct it. Do you know what I
mean?
I don't go into a psychotic rage. I'm not
like that." He explains he has ways of handling it. He moves
on; doesn't analyse. Three years ago, when he filed for divorce
from his wife of 10 years, Nicole Kidman (they have two adopted
children, Isabella, 11, and Connor, 9), it was said she was shocked
at the agility with which he moved on, beginning an immediate
romance with his then co-star from Vanilla Sky, Penelope Cruz
(which has since ended).
Although Kidman didn't milk it, she won
the public's sympathy for his seemingly cut-and-dried departure.
But Cruise handles his emotional difficulties privately and, since
he doesn't lose it, we have no way of knowing what went on or
why the relationship ended. It is in his nature to be pragmatic;
if something isn't working and he can't fix it, he doesn't loiter.
He overcomes things, even a brush with negative publicity, and
he says he is committed to being the one person people can depend
on. "I'm there. They know that. Nic. My kids. Anybody,"he
affirms.
To begin to understand Cruise, we must understand
his need for certainty. He surrounds himself with his family and
a small circle of close friends, which includes the directors
Steven Spielberg and Cameron Crowe. This year he replaced his
publicist of 20 years, Lois Smith, with his older sister Lee Ann,
and while reasons for this most likely had to do with exerting
control over his privacy and ensuring loyalty, it's possible he
also wanted to demonstrate gratitude to his sister. He trusts
her implicitly; she will have only his best interests in mind,
and giving her a significant role in his life is a way to let
her know she's important to him. Now they will protect each other.
Cruise is famously a dedicated Scientologist,
and describes Scientology as "an applied religious philosophy"
which gives him a code to live by or, as he puts it, "tools"
he uses to improve conditions. When you can write your own rules,
as the rich and famous often do, having set rules to live by lends
a valuable structure. He has often spoken about his childhood:
single parent, hard-working mother, moving around all the time,
going to 15 different schools and the trauma of always being the
new kid on the block in the wrong clothes. Early on this must
have led to difficulty, never in one place long enough to find
an identity, to allow other children to get to know him, to begin
to belong somewhere.Finding out who he was must have taken far
longer than it might for the average adolescent.
"Well, it's interesting because you
sit in a class, and I remember this, as a kid in Canada - we were
in Canada this time - the teacher went in front of the class and
whispered a word into the child's ear and the child whispered
to the next, and they whispered it and so on. And it went around
and came out, at the end, something totally different."
He is making the point that when the teacher
deconstructed gossip, she proved there is a disparity between
what someone says and what someone else hears. This grey area
is most likely something he identifies with. "So you have
to recognise that's part of human nature. Especially as a young
man growing up, trying to discover who I am and what I want to
do. People constantly evaluating you, validating you, trying to
define who you are as a person while you're finding out."
Now, as an adult, people are still trying
to define who he is, which leads to a great deal of misrepresentation.
In the media, for instance. "There's a certain part of it
you just have to live with, certain things they're going to say.
It became very clear to me when I was growing up that there are
certain people who do it on purpose."
It's been reported that his first wife,
the actress Mimi Rogers, in an interview she gave to Playboy,
said that living with Cruise was like living with a monk, and
from that point on, rumours began to circulate about his sexuality.
Rogers later retracted her statement - and anyone involved in
a divorce understands that unkind and untruthful things are said
in anger. Rather than take a passive approach to these rumours,
Cruise has vigilantly defended himself legally because he has
a low tolerance for unsubstantiated gossip and lies.
Last month he turned 42 but he seems as
mystified today by the inconsistencies of life and the foibles
of human nature as he must have been when he was in high school.
What was it that made him believe life was always fair? "Um,
well, I was dissuaded of that as a child. I mean, from very early
on, I had an incredible mother and a... fascinating father...
but, uh... it was complicated."
He is unequivocal about his mother, but
the pause before "father" suggests there is more nuance.
"Well, he was a complicated man. You know? He was the kind
of person who... he just had a different approach to life."
This is where it gets interesting. And characteristically, Cruise
is hesitant. It seems he wants to help us understand him, but
it is against his better judgment to let us in. But a window has
opened, albeit slightly.
Thomas Cruise Mapother IV was born in Syracuse,
New York, in 1962. His mother, who he has always described as
an "extraordinary" woman, is a southerner from Louisiana
who loved being a mother and raising Tom and his three sisters.
Not much is known about Thomas Cruise Mapother III. He was an
electrical engineer and he wasn't around very much, and Cruise
has said in the past that they got close for about one year when
he was 10, but then there was the divorce and they were estranged
for a long time.
It was his mother who worked many disheartening
jobs to keep the family together. When her marriage broke down,
Tom became the man of the house and took on the responsibility
at an early age. He grew up around women and learnt to be comfortable
around them, and is still very protective of his sisters and mother.
It is also why he is perhaps less macho than the average American
male. But times were tough. They moved constantly. He lived in
Canada in the late 1960s, and in 1973 they moved back to the States.
They had little money and to earn extra cash he cut grass, raked
lawns, scooped ice cream, sold Christmas cards; even as a young
man he was never frivolous. He had a seriousness and strong sense
of purpose. It seems, too, that he always felt bolstered by helping
others, and that a key part of who he is is wanting those around
him to do well.
"It's not enough for me to do well,"
he says. "I got that handled. But I enjoy seeing other people
do well. Because I know how tough life is. I know there is no
pinnacle of power where you can sit back and rest. Life comes
at you, no matter who you are, no matter where you are. Period."
There is no question that he enjoys making
people happy. It is why he will spend hours in London's Leicester
Square signing autographs, talking on a mobile phone to someone's
mother while movie executives kick their heels inside the cinema.
He is exactly the guy you'd want in the trenches next to you,
because he's exactly the man who wants to be there for you. He
is the type you'd want your daughter to bring home because that's
who he wants to be. But a bigger picture is emerging. Tom Cruise
understands the effects of uncertainty, and the man he wants to
be is a man who avoids it at all costs. Cruise didn't speak to
his father for four or five years after his parents' divorce;
it is reported that they had one meeting before his father died
from cancer in 1984.
"There are certain people who can create
good effects on others, and there are certain people who create
chaos," he says. "My father created chaos. And made
it very difficult. So I knew that aspect of it, but then you branch
outside of the family and you see the rumours that occur and you
gotta go, okay, but then the realisation that, um..." He
trails off, unsure of where he's going or if he's willing to go
there. I suspect the rumours he refers to are a combination of
what his classmates might have said about him, his family, his
father, in school, and what the press has written about him as
an adult when they have tried to dissect his past. Some imply
that his father was an alcoholic.
When asked if he feels he ever got to know
his father well, he nods and is purposeful in his response. "Oh,
yeah. I feel that as a man and as a father I have a greater understanding
and appreciation for who he was as a person."
While he was still alive? "No, after
he died, actually. Even before he died I saw him, and you just
go, hey, there are certain people and this is the way they are,
and it doesn't mean that I don't have to not love them, because
I always loved him. He's my father, you know? I can't help caring
about him. I just know that in his own way, he had some level
of love and cared for me - you can't not for your child. When
I became a parent it was like, whoa, man! That's when you call
your mom and you're like, 'Hey, y'know, how many times did I tell
you I loved you when I was growing up? Well, I want you to know
I really, really mean it!'" But the appreciative phone calls
go to his mother. Not just because his father is no longer around,
but more likely because it is she who earned it. "Just holding
my own child broadened my perspective on life," he says.
Like most children, he didn't know how to
recognise the impact his parents' limitations would have; how
they would play out later on in life, especially now that he too
has become a parent. "You don't realise it, you think that's
the way life is, but I had a mother who, very simply... the cup
was always half-full. Not half-empty. She allowed me to be who
I am. "She was raising four kids - and I'd just leave the
house. I'd just leave. When I was younger than two years old I'd
go for walks. She didn't get me in the house and grab me and say,
'What are you doing? It's dangerous out there! It's a dangerous
place! Someone could get kidnapped, get murdered,' you know? She
was the kind of woman who said, 'Okay, listen. If you want to
go for a walk next time, we'll go together.'
"When I was a kid I broke my nose,
broke my fingers, broke my leg - I was jumping off houses, I was
climbing trees, I was climbing sides of things. But she was someone
who, with everything going on, had confidence that we were going
to be okay. And really supported me in things that I was interested
in. She was a great adviser to me."
It was a different situation with his father.
"There were times when he was an adviser and there were times
where he was, uh... he was... he was more frightened of life."
Cruise seems to be hinting at something deeper, but again it is
vague.
"He was more... you know, he was complex.
He was like Heathcliff: he could be brooding, angry, yet there
was a romantic quality in him. Uh... it's hard to describe these
people in two sentences, aside from my mother, who was definitely
the life force. He, uh... he had some problems and he didn't...
he didn't know how to solve his problems. He didn't have tools
with which he could handle his life and make it better."
Did you see it as weakness? "No, I saw it as life. He was
my father, so I loved him. But I saw it as, that is life. You
know when you're travelling around, there are things that I recognised
at a very early age as to who he was. There was a certain level
of: I really care about this person but I don't really trust them.
I know I can trust my mother. Kids - I don't care what parents
say or whatever - they know. If you say to a kid you're going
to do something and you don't do it, that means something to them.
I never forgot it when I was a kid, so when I grew up and I was
a parent, when I say I'm going to do something, I do it. If I
say, 'I promise you,' believe me, my kids know it's going to happen.
Or, if it doesn't happen - there's a major reason why it didn't."
Cruise seems determined to provide for his children something
he couldn't rely on from his own father: emotional and physical
availability. He doesn't display his kids publicly to prove what
a great dad he is, nor does he reveal the specifics of what they
do or where they go, but he makes them a priority, whether it's
taking a phone call or spending an afternoon uninterrupted. He
appears to have amicably worked out with Kidman a way to raise
them with a fair amount of stability. Given that his life is filled
with activity, there is still a sense that his career is ancillary
to his children; not the other way around.
This resolute pledge to responsibility and
consistency is the very core of who Tom Cruise is. It is the foundation
of his moral code. When, 17 years ago, Cruise's first wife, Mimi
Rogers (they divorced in 1990), introduced him to Scientology,
an organisation that advocates self-styled "scientific methods"
as cures for the body and mind, it was a belief system he connected
to.
Founded by the science-fiction novelist
L Ron Hubbard, Scientology is widely regarded as a cult, and has
been criticised for preying on lost souls, the confused, the depressed,
people in need seeking guidance and direction, and then using
coercion to keep its members in line. But Cruise is more than
just a staunch defender; he feels it is the key to understanding
who he is. "You know, if you really understood what Scientology
was, you would understand me more as a man."
He says that Hubbard's "teachings"
have helped him understand people better, and this is in keeping
with his desire to see others do well. "It's looking at someone
and going, 'You know what? I'd like to see you do better.' It's
caring." He also credits Hubbard's "study technology"
with helping him overcome his dyslexia and has given his time
and money to Help (Hollywood Education and Literacy Project),
which offers this same study technology free to children and adults.
Whatever critics may say about Scientology,
it offers Cruise a code that lines up with his own morality. It
helps him stay on course and make decisions that he feels are
right for him.
But it raises the question: why does Tom
Cruise need Scientology? The answer is the same as it would be
for anyone who has faith. Because it's what works for him. He
doesn't blame his parents or his past, and if Scientology is what
helps him tame the chaos, why wouldn't he cherish it? It's reliable,
supportive and available when he needs it to be. Perhaps it is
the paternal force he never had. And just as a child embraces
a parent, he embraces Scientology. Unconditionally.
Even at the very beginning of his career,
when he was living in New York and working as a building superintendent,
Cruise decided he didn't want to grin his way through life. He
had his first big break in 1981, in Taps with Sean Penn. Then,
in 1983, he danced into our lives in his white socks and cotton
Y-fronts in Risky Business, and has been working nonstop since.
He has chosen to work consistently with top actors and directors
(Martin Scorsese and Paul Newman in The Color of Money, Dustin
Hoffman in Rain Man, Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men, Stanley
Kubrick, Oliver Stone, Steven Spielberg, Sydney Pollack) and he
has earned three Oscar nominations along the way. First for his
turn as Ron Kovic, the paraplegic Vietnam veteran in Born on the
Fourth of July (the anti-war film that he made straight after
his Top Gun adventure), again for Jerry Maguire (in which it's
been said he ad-libbed the now famous line to Cuba Gooding Jr,
"Help me help you"), and most recently in 1999's Magnolia.
His performance as Frank T J Mackey in that film electrified and
proved that he could channel a dark side. He exquisitely inhabited
the role of the male affirmation guru and pitch-perfectly captured
the bitter humour. Hearing Tom Cruise deliver lines like "Respect
the cock, tame the c***" was strangely liberating.
The human, flawed, ordinary man that resides
deep and well hidden in Cruise comes through in many of the roles
he's played. But he says in real life he is not afraid of anything,
nor is he filled with self-doubt. "That doesn't mean there
are not moments where you go, 'Am I handling this right?' But
I do have a confidence in myself that I know I'm going to figure
it out."
But we don't know much about his feelings,
such as loneliness. "Do I ever feel lonely? Sure, of course
I do. I'm not filled with loneliness - I have many great friends
- but there are certain moments." He looks away.
"I don't know. There are no specific
times; there are just moments when you feel, you know..."
He pauses. "I'm not a sad, depressed, neurotic, lonely person.
But of course there are times - I'm human - there are times when
you feel lonely."
Like when? "It's hard to articulate.
It's not the loneliness of fame, because..." He lowers his
voice and speaks so softly he is barely audible. "Fame opens
doors - I meet a lot of people. I have a really full life, but
then you go... it would be nice to roll over and have a chat with
my girl, you know? At this particular moment I'm dating a movie."
When asked if he misses being married he
responds in the positive. "I enjoyed being married. I have
to say. Very much. I will get married one day again. Find the
person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. I enjoy being
in relationships. I like, uh, that dynamic very much. I like caring
for someone in that way." So is Tom Cruise happy? "It's
up to us to make ourselves happy. We have a choice about how to
live our life. I never bought into 'my life is bad because of
my parents'. I've been through some rough stuff and I never thought,
'Well, that's my dad's fault, or it's my grandfather's fault.'
A lot of stuff that happened pissed me off and I thought, 'Okay,
what can I do to get beyond this?'"
Despite responding affirmatively to nearly
all the questions, Cruise is not robotic; he is just careful.
He is aware that anything he says can be taken out of context
by the tabloids and become accepted wisdom. Admitting he misses
being married could so easily end up as "Cruise Pines for
Nicole". In many ways he must live as a split personality:
one of the most public people in the world wants to be the most
private. Who he is remains elusive, and what's impressive is his
ability to maintain this impregnable wall.
Our time is winding down, and I ask if there's
any chance we can continue for a little longer. He responds to
the request for time "to get it right".
"What do you think,10, 15 minutes?"
The publicist comes in, and 15 more minutes are granted. But it
flies by. We talk more about his childhood and he tells another
story that reiterates the theme of being frequently thwarted by
the uncertainty of his youth. "I remember dreaming that when
I grew up, there wouldn't be any gossip... Then you realise that
those social politics are magnified out there and you learn. I've
met people from all walks of life - people who have money, people
who don't have money. I've had both in my life. And I don't forget
any of it. I don't take it for granted." He seems to be suggesting
that there was a shift, when he realised that the petty adolescent
gossip doesn't go away - it carries over into adulthood (such
as the persistent rumours that he is gay); only then it becomes
slander, defamation of character and libel. His challenge would
be to overcome it, which he has - legally, emotionally, swiftly
and privately.
Just then, his sister Lee Ann appears. She
is in charge and explains that he has to break it off right away
and that he's running behind. There is a sense that if she didn't
cut him off, he would go on all night, aiming to please. He came
here to do his job, which was to sell the movie, and he could
have stuck to a script and toed the line. But he didn't.
So who is the real Tom Cruise? The fleeting
glimpses that emerged have revealed a picture of someone who wants
to be a better man, to transcend the paradigm of the wayward father
and do good. We say goodbye and I feel that I know him a little
bit better. But then, he and his sister depart in a different
direction and I realise the curtain I was invited behind is a
veneer. There was always another curtain and it is behind that
one that Tom Cruise has now disappeared. |
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