TV 's Foul-Mouthed Funnies

`South Park' kids say the %*&--est things


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Mark Kamal, Lindsey Davis and Scott Fausel settled in for an episode of "South Park" at the Delta Upsilon fraternity house at the University of California at Berkeley. Chronicle photo by Michael Maloney.


Last year filmmakers Trey Parker and Matt Stone made the trip from Los Angeles to the Sundance Film Festival in Utah by car.

This year they flew in by private jet. OK, it was a small jet, but what a difference a hit TV show makes.

The two are the creators of ``South Park,'' the crass cartoon about four foul-mouthed 8-year-olds that is pulling in astonishing ratings on Comedy Central.

The boys -- Kyle, Cartman, Stan and Kenny (who is killed in every episode, only to return) -- are third-graders at South Park Elementary, where it always snows, alien abductions abound, the cafeteria chef sings dirty ditties and the teacher is a bigot.

``Why do poor people always smell like sour milk?'' asks Cartman, the fat, dyspeptic one. ``I don't know, they just do,'' replies Mr. Garrison, the mentally disturbed teacher.

``What's a dildo, Kenny?'' asks Kyle, the only Jewish kid in town.

Stan, the nervous one, vomits brown goo every time he tries to speak to Wendy, the girl of his dreams.

Kenny can't speak at all because his parka perpetually covers his mouth: ``Please excuse me being late. I have explosive diarrhea,'' reads one note he brings to class.

In five months time, ``South Park'' has become Comedy Central's biggest success ever, surpassing the ratings of ``Absolutely Fabulous.'' It shouldn't be surprising that the show is rated TV-MA, for mature audiences.

The nine original episodes have been repeating endlessly since the show premiered. Four new episodes will be introduced next month, beginning at 10 p.m. February 3. ``We're writing them as fast as we can,'' said Parker.

All this attention for a half-hour of animation in which flatulence jokes are a staple and the whole thing looks as if it were drawn by a second-grader. The construction-paper cutouts look as crude as they sound, and they sound bizarre, like chipmunks on 28 cups of coffee.

``Some reporters are saying that the show is nothing but f -- jokes and racist slurs,'' said Parker. ``The show is racist in the same way that Archie Bunker was racist. South Park is a town inhabited by stupid people, and stupid people say stupid things.''

It all began in 1995, when Parker, 28, and Stone, 26, college buddies from Boulder, Colo., created a video Christmas card for a Hollywood executive called ``The Spirit of Christmas.'' The highlight of the X-rated short was a fistfight between Santa Claus and Jesus. Dupes circulated around Hollywood, which led to the Comedy Central deal.

Last Wednesday night, the men of Delta Upsilon at the University of California at Berkeley gathered in front of their 72-inch screen. Big beer steins on their laps, they settled in for another rerun.

``The show is so funny because here are these tiny little kids saying these outrageous things,'' said Ali Jabbari, a sophomore. ``It's so anti- PC,'' said Ryan Kirchner, a junior, ``which I love, because we are so bombarded with PC stuff here.''

``South Park'' fans include a nation of fraternity brothers, high schoolers and celebrities such as George Clooney (who supplied the voice of the gay dog, Sparky, in one episode) and soul singer Isaac Hayes, who just signed on for 20 new episodes, continuing his role as the voice of the lascivious Chef.

``You've got to hold your football like you hold your lover,'' he tells the third-graders at practice. ``Firm, yet gentle.''

He sings racy R&B; in every episode: ``I'm gonna lay you down by the yule log, I'm gonna love you right,'' he croons at the school Christmas play. ``You can hear the herald angels sing when I'm slipping off your bra.''

While much of the ``South Park'' humor is deep in the toilet, the boys also look at homophobia, euthanasia, starving children, the religious right. And no celebrity is safe.

``Hey, Ike, do your impression of David Caruso's career,'' says Kyle to his little brother, who then nose- dives from a rooftop into a snowdrift and disappears.

Since October, the show has averaged about 2.3 million viewers an episode in a cable universe of about 46 million homes. Current advertisers include Volkswagen, MCI and Snapple. Merchandise tie-ins include millions of T-shirts, bumper stickers, calendars and baseball caps. In the works: a movie based on the show.

Parker can now create a dream list of celebrities for voice-overs and usually get them. ``Our first choice was Natasha Henstridge from `Species,' '' said Parker. ` `Species' sucked, but she is so hot.'' She will be the voice of a substitute teacher.

Robert Smith of the band the Cure has also signed up. ``We wanted him, and a week later he is in the studio,'' Parker said. ``That is the best part about all of this. I literally had sweaty palms. I made a total a-- out of myself.

``And Sundance this year was pretty cool, too. All we did was party and get drunk.''

Parker and Stone are now starring in their first film, ``BASEketball,'' by ``Airplane'' director David Zucker. ``It's the story of a couple of slackers who invent a stupid game that becomes the biggest thing in the country,'' said Parker. ``Kind of like us.''


SOUTH PARK: The show airs at 10 p.m. Wednesday nights on the Comedy Central cable network.

This article appeared on page D - 1 of the San Francisco Chronicle


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