Thursday, May 3, 2012

THE TACO BELL STORY


THE TACO BELL STORY

Staying true to my blog's name, Grandmama's Stories, one of the most requested stories from the plethora of tall tales associated with my family members involves my now deceased mother, the Taco Bell Drive-Thru, and the case of "the misread sign". 

 As she began to age, her health began to deteriorate, her mind began to fail, her memory was sporadic, and macular degeneration took her sight, so she moved to be closer to me.

The two of us had a lot of good years and many adventures together before the veil of dementia took her from me.  To say she made us all laugh would be an understatement.  There wasn't much of a filter between mother's brain and her mouth.  She was a woman of strong opinions accompanied by the loudest "Stage Whisper" you've ever heard.  Combine her strong opinion with that infamous stage whisper and you had a recipe for mayhem at times. 
 I constantly lived on the edge... afraid of what she might say in public.  You can well imagine how many embarrassing moments she gave me as a teen-ager.   As an adult, though, I found my crazy little mama most delightful with a sense of humor that I had finally grown to appreciate.  However, as funny as I found mama's comments, I was cognizant of the fact that the public may not always find her "remarks" quite as endearing as I found them.  She was the poster child for the term "Politically Incorrect."  Oh, my friends, God broke the mold when He made that little lady!

With this brief biographical background, I will attempt to tell a story that is best told in person but worthy of my best efforts to "TELL" via the written word.

It was a Saturday afternoon, and my elderly mother and I were driving home from a quilting class.  Taco Bell was her favorite fast-food restaurant and I do believe she could have eaten her weight in nachos!   There was never a question as to where we were going to eat for lunch.  This particular Saturday, mama was tired so I decided to make a quick run through the Taco Bell Drive-Thru window.  I placed our order and immediately began digging through my purse for my money and coupons.  (I don't know about you, but I spend half my life digging through my purse looking for some UFO that goes missing much like socks in a dryer....but I digress...)
  With head bent over my purse, the old peripheral vision notices mother leaning sharply toward me to the point of almost being in my lap, eyes squinting sharply, head shaking, and finger wagging. 

 I'm Thinking.....
"What is she doing?" 
 "Oh No, what is she getting ready to say?"
 in one of those " life flashing before my eyes" moments. 

 Imagine, if you will, our verbal exchange... keeping in mind  mother's failing vision and penchant for only reading the first and last of a word.  (You know... the common mistake...when you read the word HOUSE and the word is actually HORSE?!) Can we say,  CLOSE BUT NO CIGAR?
Mama:  "Lord have mercy, I never thought I'd live to see the day they would be selling "them" through the Drive-Thru window of a Taco Bell.  Jane, we're going to Hell in a hand-basket, I tell ya...hell in a hand-basket... 
ME:  "What are you talking about, Mama????"  All they're selling are Tacos and Nacho Bell Grande's"
Mama:  "Jane, I know what I see and I tell ya, I never thought I'd live to see something like this happen!  I'd heard about this on the news but just never believed I'd live to see it happen right here."
ME:  "Mama, why are you so upset?  No one is selling anything but tacos and nachos.  
Mama:  "No Jane, LOOK... right there on the window!  Read that sing and See for yourself!"

By this time, I realize my mother had convinced herself some HUGE moral gaffe had taken place right THEN AND THERE and no amount of arguing was going to change her mind...nevertheless, for the life of me I couldn't figure out what had her in such a snit!  I took one more look at the Drive-Thru Window and told myself... Think like Mama... Think like Mama...

And Then...
the Light-bulb goes on...

I suddenly knew why my mother thought the world was going to Hell in a Hand-basket...
what she thought was being sold in the Drive-Thru Window of Taco Bell...

On the DRIVE-THRU Window, 
the Sign Read.......




KEEP SCROLLING
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*




CONDIMENTS UPON REQUEST


After I stopped laughing, I explained patiently to my mama that CONDIMENTS were 




NOT.......
CON_ _  MS !!
*WINK*  *WINK*



Her Response??
"Don't you tell that one on me, Jane Ellen."

Oh, Mama, that was one promise I JUST COULDN'T KEEP!!!
(pssst...I love you and miss you, mama.  I hope you're entertaining Heaven the way you entertained all of us!))
and now you know
THE TACO BELL STORY!

Blessings

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

GIVE-AWAY WINNERS ANNOUNCED

GMAMA
ANNOUNCES
GIVE-AWAY 
****WINNERS****
FROM LAST WEEK'S BLOG HOP,
BAG-IT, AND APRON POSTS

$25 FQS GIFT CERTIFICATE
*DENISE P.*

BAG-IT
*JULIE O.*

CUSTOM APRON
*BEACH BABY*
*JULIE*
I  do things the old-fashioned way by drawing names from a Gladware Bowl for Give-Aways 
so... THE REASON FOR TWO APRON WINNERS IS...
I had two separate bowls with names for the Bag-It and Apron Give-Aways, since a different set of comments were made for each.  Would you believe that Julie O. was pulled for BOTH the bag-it AND the apron??? I couldn't believe it!!  What are the odds of that happening?  (Julie needs to play Vegas or go get a Lottery ticket NOW if so inclined and with this kind of luck!)  
Also, Denise, happens to be a friend who lives close to me but I can assure you her name was pulled out of the bowl and she won fair and square!  Let me just tell you, Denise P. is THE luckiest person I know.  She wins ALL the time...our quilt guild door prizes, Sew We Quilt orange Iron!!!, FQS give-away, the list goes on and on as to what this gal has won!  I still give her a fit over winning that orange Reliable Iron in the Wantobe A Quilter's Campaign last October.

 Afraid my followers would think something sounded a little 'fishy' I decided to pull an additional name and make a 2nd half-apron for a new follower.  I had to draw 3 names before I found one that was a "bonafide" follower!  Beach Baby was the winner.  I think she lives in the very southern beach area of my state of Alabama.  I went to her blog to check her out! 

 I felt I needed to disclose that inside info so you will know everything is always on the up and up  with GMAMA's Give-Away's.  I am honest to a fault.  I will go back in the gas station if I pump over a penny more on my gas.  The guilt would haunt me forever.

STAY TUNED FOR THURSDAY'S
TACO BELL STORY

BLESSINGS





Sunday, April 29, 2012

Prayer Request Sunday


HE'S MY SHEPARD
I LOOK FORWARD TO GOOD THINGS

WELCOME TO PRAYER REQUEST SUNDAY
April 29th, 2012
(Better late than never)
I WILL BE POSTING THE GIVE-AWAY WINNERS
TUESDAY, MAY 1ST

Prayer Requests:

Val
A loyal follower has asked us to pray for a dear friend who is so very sick with cancer. Val, thank you for the privilege of interceding in prayer for your friend.  We will pray for god to strengthen her body and give her renewed strength to go the distance.  We also pray for ultimate healing and give God the Glory!

Sharon 
of 
Dancing Thru Threads
Sharon has been going through cancer treatments that have left her battle weary.  She is trying to do some hand stitching to focus her mind away from the side effects of chemo.  She has PET scans soon to determine if the tumors have shrunk and/if more chemo is needed.  After chemo she will have extensive radiation.  Ladies, Sharon needs our prayers and encouragement!!!  Go to her blog and leave her some encouragement.

This week I will be posting THREE WINNERS of my THREE GIVE_AWAYS.
Tuesday, May 1st.  
Stay Tuned

I ALSO have some projects to share from a swap I'm participating in over at
This time I'll be showing you some
Wonky Trees.

THEN...
DRUM ROLL PLEASE....
I will tell my Most Famous Story Ever
THE TACO BELL STORY


IN 
MEMORY OF MY MOTHER
AND 
CELEBRATION
OF 
CINCO
DE MAYO

If you know me personally then you probably have already heard the famous or should I say "infamous" Taco Bell Story.  You will not want to miss this story.  Only my sweet crazy little Mother could have actually said *this* with no idea whatsoever WHAT she had said.  As a Reading Specialist in my former life, I conducted numerous reading intervention workshops all over the State of Alabama.  believe it or not, I used the story as an example of how children can misread words by only looking at the beginning and ending of a word.  

And That My Friends is as far as I'm going...you will have to tune in Thursday, May 3rd.  for
THE TACO BELL STORY!!!
BLESSINGS

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

KITCHEN STUFF...BAG IT/Guest Blogger at Sew We Quilt


I'M GUEST BLOGGER TODAY 
Welcome to all my loyal followers and NEW FACES!  There has been a lot of company recently here at Grandmama's Stories.  I Love Company and best of all I haven't even have to clean house before you stopped by.  I do wish I could share a piece of sour cream pound cake and a cup of coffee with you.

Remember Those 40's/50's Kitchens?
This could very well have been my kitchen as a young child.
My favorite Kitchen/TV MOM?
 not June Clever
 nor Harriet Nelson 
(even though I loved them both.) 
 It was DONNA REED.  
Who remembers Donna Reed?...handing out those little paper sack lunch bags to the family as they came flying down the stairs and out the front door to begin their day.  Perhaps you ladies outside the U.S. didn't have this sitcom on TV but it was my model for the ideal wife, mother, home, family, kids, 
even her
 KITCHEN.

Meet BERTHA...My Dress Form has her own name.

As in everything around this house, it has it's very own story.
One Monday night, I got a call around 9:00 p.m. 
#1 Husband :
"The Auction is over and Bertha is coming home with me.  She's riding in the back of the truck."
Gmama:
"Who's Bertha?" and you know I'm already in my Pajamas.  Why are you bringing someone home this late at night?"
#1 Husband:
"I'm tellin' ya, you've wanted her for a long time.  You're going to Love her!  I"ll be home in a few minutes. Bye...Love ya."

#1 Husband pulls up in the Driveway after I've gone to the trouble of getting dressed, which means putting my "unmentionables" back on...you know the drill...and then I walk out to the driveway, the motion detector light comes on and THERE SHE IS!....BERTHA!! Standing in the back of a Pick-Up Truck.  A Lovely Lady, she was..........
Oh I was giddy, I tell ya!!  I had been looking for a dress form but they were all so expensive I couldn't afford one.  Guess What #1 paid for BERTHA????
$10.00!!! and could have had it for $2.00 but he couldn't hear the auctioneer clearly and ended up bidding against himself!!!!  LOL!  I haven't let him live that one down!


ANYHOO...I Digress
One topic different from the 40's/50's era family is the topic of RECYCLING.  Plastics and other man-made materials have created a whole new environmental problem.  Donna Reed brought her groceries home in a paper bag, which I actually prefer!  Re-usable bags are much more eco-friendly than plastic bags. If you want paper bags you have to specifically request the bagger use them.   Those plastic bags can be like rabbits...they seem to multiply exponentially once they enter your house.  I like to corral my bags in a cylindrical cloth bag elasticized a both ends.  Most of you may have seen these at local craft fairs.  

Here are a selection of fabrics all ready to be sewn up as Bag-Its for gifts!
 Do you see a fabric selection you like?
 I make TWO sizes
                            Short:   18"x 22" (fat quarter size)
Long:  18" x 27"
I knew I could make my own so I deconstructed an old Bag-It hanging in my laundry room (my favorite way to make a pattern)  These little bag-its can hold a LOT of plastic bags!!  A friend of mine keeps cloth rags in her bag. I LOVE MINE and try to have one for each season/holiday.  They make great gifts!!
You can get fancy, use quilted material, add embellishments OR keep it simple.
I'm not very good at tutorials so if you have a question just ask.
Plastic Bag It
Take Fabric rectangle and hem the 4 edges.  
Sew Elastic Casing on Top and Bottom of Fabric rectangle
Top : Turn down 2 IN....sew two parallel lines wide enough for your elastic to fit through.
Bottom:  Turn up 1 in.  sew two parallel lines to allow for width of elastic.
Run elastic through the casing (I use the old safety pin on end of elastic and work my way through the * channel*  method.How do you do it?) 
 Last,  pin a loop to be used for a hanger inside the seam,  then 
 Right Sides Facing, sew the tube of fabric lengthwise using 1/4 in. hem. 
 Turn inside out.
 Bag It!
VOILA!!  A  BAG-IT!!
Long size  18" x 27"

I will be selecting a winner for a custom made Apron from the comments I get at my Sew We Quilt Post!  If you are visiting from Sew We Quilt for the first time, tell me.  
You just never know what nice surprises may be in store for those who take the time to comment and become a new follower!...wink...wink...wink
Blessings


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...