Poor David Cameron, he's not going to live this one down in a hurry, is he? Forget messing up the budget, turning off women voters, strikes across the country and a dismal showing in the local council elections. His greatest embarrassment right now, and if we dare to speculate, for some time in the future, will be his inability to abbreviate his text messages correctly. In quite possibly the highlight so far of the soap opera that is the Leveson Inquiry, ex-News International exec Rebekah Wade outed David Cameron as so far behind the times he needed advice from a newspaper editor to type his texts correctly.
We know that running away or going missing is a key indicator that a child might be at risk or in need. Children in care are three times more likely to run away than children living at home. When they go missing, they place themselves in great danger of being sexual exploited or physically abused. Far too many children who run away or go missing from care become victims of sexual and physical abuse and exploitation. One child in this situation is one child too many. Every child who has to appear in court as a victim of sexual exploitation is a failure of the system to prevent harm.
When you're talking innovations, tech and a few gadgets in particular, have woven their way into my life and continue to impresses me more and more on a daily basis. Here's how...
I visited Bangladesh in January and think I must have left a little piece of my heart with the amazing mothers and children over there who have to battle for everything to survive. I met women with little beautiful kids exactly the same age as mine, yet half the size and gravely ill. Their stories were just completely heartbreaking and made me want to scoop all of the babies up and bring them home with me. It struck me what a lottery life was, and how I could have just as easily been born into a very different world.
My, how hard it used to be to find a game of poker. You could call round all your friends to see who was available - but you needed a large pool of friends who knew how to play the game, and enough of them free on the right night. Even if you managed that, you were stuck with the awkwardness of taking your friends' money.
The Queen's Speech provided further evidence of the 'omnishambles' which this Tory-led government has become. No vision, nor purpose and no direction. This is the best way to describe the Queen's Speech.
Had a nice little (I say little but it was perfectly adequate) bra slung onstage!! Always a treat. One side of it was a sequinned Paraguayan flag... the other a sequinned Union Jack!! And in that wonderful moment our two great nations had never been closer.
Apparently us Brits are in the grip of 'deafness denial' as four million of us refuse to admit that we're losing our hearing, despite the symptoms being loud and clear.
Whilst we can commend all those involved in the convictions of these despicable men at Liverpool Crown Court, we must build on this momentum for the sake of the thousands of children we believe are out there and who need rescuing.
Personally, I won't miss Clinton Cards. But if the person who knows how to put speech bubbles on pictures of black 'n' white fifties housewives has some horrible accident, my life will be immeasurably spoiled.
Escalier 39, my new film company with Dean Cavanagh, makes its first real-life movie next month Kubricks which will be shot in the grounds of my gaff in Wales... The musical with Irvine Welsh and Dean Cavanagh now looks back on and as I write, meetings are being put in place to get it moving along...and speaking of meetings, I am also going to meet some people in Japan who want to bring me back into music.
Perhaps, after they have finished dealing with the British media, Lord Justice Leveson and Lord Hunt should offer their combined talents to Islamabad? They might be there a long time.
Like Atlas, Dwain had been banished to the edge of the athletics carrying his own and perhaps the athletic sins of others on his shoulders. On Saturday, for the first time, I saw a very different Dwain Chambers. A great burden lifted away and a look of determination as he can finally look forward rather than dwelling on his well documented past and most of all a smile that was no longer a mask, but came from within... with the support of the public, I know he will finally realise his true potential.
If I've learnt anything, it's that Enya should come with a health warning (then again, I think I knew that instinctively already).
Whatever Ed Miliband's flaws, the British people love an underdog, especially when they feel like underdogs.
Asia and the world is growing tired of eurozone instability which is why it is time for some bolder action and for some realpolitik about just what is sustainable.
To perceive the sex industry as a resource for those who desires can be judged as abnormal is to miss its role as a facility for those who are sometimes seen as being abnormal themselves, and so find themselves coming to us for a form of social sanctuary.
This week I was interviewing long-term happy bachelors for a women's magazine on the rise of singledom. When I say long-term, I mean willingly long-term. Not the spluttering, nervous, perspiring ones who hang around speed dating events desperate to find a girlfriend.
Kindles have Google's search engine incorporated into them. When I entered a couple of not-hard-to-guess search terms immediately I was presented with a long list of porn sites. Clicking on them took me to their home pages. These contained images which were extremely graphic, hard core.
Aled Jones is incredibly well-loved and has been a presence on our screens since he was a child star and international chorister. Who cannot remember Walking in the Air and his cherubic, angelic little face, crooked teeth and sensible hair-cut?
The weather may be causing havoc to a few unfortunate flood plainers, but spare a thought for my fellow fashion fretters. One of them, namely Kate Middleton, not usually a fretter, found herself at the mercy of the shoulder season.
My name is Martin Middlebrook. The 12 of you who read this regularly know this of course, but by other countries other conventions apply. So depending upon relative status or affection, my moniker here is either Kaakaa Martin, Mr Martin, or Martin Jan.
Carla Buzasi, 13.05.2012
Clive Stafford Smith, 11.05.2012