It Gets Better

Sodom, 1711 B.C., Mayor Savage attempts to bring order to the streets. In the background we see Outocloset Barackum lunging blindly at Lunchbuggery Joe, before Joe's statements force Barackum to come out in favor of dietary hair. America, 2012 A.D., the public schools are exposing kids to a professional degenerate and his agenda, wrapped in a so-called, anti-bullying campaign. Worse yet, professional politicians pander to destructive interest groups for the sake of personal power. The blind leading the double blind?–Dale

Froward

Hey Obamatons, you can make history again. –Dale

Late Night Lackey

NBC slow jams the propaganda. The latest sickening spectacle is seen here in an Obama's-eye view, from the set of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. There wasn't a dry seat in the house. The starry-eyed UNC audience cheered like baby seals ready for the clubbing. Fallon was reminiscent of Dracula's Renfield, luring the kids back to the castle. For a second, I thought I heard "Hail to the Thief" being played by Questlove and his crappy band. No such luck. In the last seconds of the show, Jimmy disclaimed, "We don't take sides politically on our show, but..." Who knows, maybe Fallon will host an hour with Mitt Romney from the campus of BYU, with musical guests Donny and Marie? –Dale

On The Ordering Of Species

Since the days of Darwin, evolutionists have repeatedly had to extend the time necessary for life to have accidentally occurred. Similarly, Marxocrats keep enlarging the amount of money it will take for their lame theory to work. One thing's for sure, it's a dog eat dog world. –Dale

The Keynes Mutiny

Meanwhile back at the White House, President Obama repairs to the Clinton walk-in humidor to take a break from demagoguing the decoy issue of the day. But the paranoid elephant in the room is the stunningly poor economic prowess of "The One." Perhaps one of the few former Presidents Barry hasn't compared himself with will have some insight for him. Hint: Obama is the one on the left, of course. –Dale

The Fair-Share Hare

Easter day is dawning,
in little Algaetown.
The children there are smiling,
'cause it's frowned upon to frown.

Colored eggs and candy,

piled high into a heap.
The children there are hungry,
to discover what they'll keep.

Then the Fair-Share Hare arrives,
late for goodness sake.
The children there are helpless,
to surrender what he'll take.

Happy Easter –Dale

The Anger Games

Good news, manufacturing is up in Washington! Rage baiter-in-chief, Barry Obama has manufactured yet another polarization wall, all whilst searching America's soul. Can't you just smell the rainbow? The only thing more bankrupt than the economy is leftist morality. The lefty political triad of division by Race (Martin/Zimmerman case), Class (Occupy) and Sex (Sandra Fluke's condom crisis) is complete. Barry never misses an opportunity to bring us together by pitting us against each other. Can't wait for one of Obama's Comedian Corps to joke that if Barry had a son, he'd more likely look like the UPS guy. –Dale

Triumph of the Swill

Forrest Gump has got to be on something considerably more potent than the standard Libutard Kool-Aid. Has Hollywood everyman, Tom Hanks finally reached his Soon-Yi moment? That point in time where an entertainer's extra-curricular activities render him unwatchable. For me, he achieved that status when he lent his talents to Opie and Dan Brown's effort to drag the name of Christ through the dirt in "The DaVinci Code" movie. But for the more patriotically minded, his choice to narrate Obama for America's 17 minute, Leni Riefenstahl style propaganda piece, "The Road We've Traveled," has got to be the last straw. You'd think leftist compassion would've driven Obamaton Tom and Barack to offer the gig to some unemployed voice-over guy with better pipes than Hanks. I guess "the heart wants what the heart wants." –Dale

The Endless Summer of Recovery 3

What up vassals?! Surf's up, and Barry is preparing for his third annual Summer of Recovery. With a national news media that puts the Soviet era's Pravda and Izvestia to shame, the O-conomy will be reported as improving and moving in the right direction. Unfortunately for Obama and his media cheerleaders, all of us that pay for our own food and pump our own gas know better. We know he's jumping the shark, big time. –Dale

Inspired by a nightmare from the editor of All Right Magazine.

Bonus Feature: My pick for Barry's re-election theme song. 

Big Patriotism

Andrew Breitbart 1969-2012

The fearless citizen journalist who never let the lies of the left go unchallenged, understood the left. Like cockroaches, leftists do their best work in the dark, but when the lights come on, the bugs scatter. Breitbart was a great light. May his family and friends find comfort and peace in this time of sorrow. –Dale

Click to visit the new Breitbart site.

Go Ogle Yourself

Is Big Brother watching you? If Google Chairman Eric Schmidt is your older brother, or even if he isn't, the answer is yes. In spite of strong objections from 36 State Attorneys General, Google plans to commence tracking its users on March 1st. Schmidt, an Obama mega-doner, probably doesn't have to worry about U.S. Attorney General, Eric Holder having any concern for the privacy of the public. After all, everything Schmidt collects won't require a warrant to be accessed. Our info should be almost as easy to get as an AK-47 in Mexico. If Google should accidentally lose our information, they'll probably still be able to get it from the Chinese. We must fight back against this Cyber-ogling. On the count of three, everybody google... Orwellian. –Dale

The X'd Files

Special Agents Scuzzy and Mullah are on their strangest case ever. The super secret Taqiyya division of the FBI has been formed by the Obama administration, to root out insults to Islam inside the Bureau. American Muslim front groups major in squealing at every perceived slight to their religion. Strange, we don't hear a peep out of them or their collaborators in Washington as their Muslim brothers in the Islamic ruled world, daily set fire to Christian churches and persecute, torture and murder the members. Since it appears that sunrise qualifies as a cause for rage to the practitioners of the religion of peace, Scuzzy and Mullah's job should be an endless one. –Dale 

Wired story here

Is The Pope Catholic?

In 2008 54% of Catholics voted for Barack Obama. How's that working out? In his second day in office, he overturned Reagan's Mexico City Policy, freeing up foreign aid money to be used for abortions. Planned Parenthood now receives half of a billion dollars a year in tax money. At this year's National Prayer Breakfast, the President stopped just short of crediting Jesus Christ with authorship of the Communist Manifesto. So why were Catholics shocked when a week later, he added another course of bricks to what Reagan called "the Wall of Hostility to religion" by decreeing that Catholic charities pay for practices which their religion classifies as sin? Hopefully, in subsequent elections, Catholics will choose not to vote for, much less idolize any politician that favors the monstrous practice of abortion. Will a politician who doesn't respect innocent human life have any regard for the first amendment? Does a bear relieve himself in the woods? –Dale  Further Reading: 7 Arguments for Infanticide

Mitt Life Crisis

What's contorting right-wing heroine Ann Coulter? Could her unflagging devotion to Mitt Romney be as simple as a mid-life return to a sorority girl crush? Maybe the real Ann Coulter is being held hostage at the Oasis Vineyard, and being impersonated by Michaele Salahi? Or is it possible that Ann doesn't really believe in anything. A successful female version of Stephen Colbert, saying and doing outrageous things that get attention and sell books. Just another publicity... enthusiast? The Salahi conspiracy makes the most sense to me. –Dale 

Coo, coo, ca-Eeew

Newt Gingrich managed to crawl out from under the Cap and Trade sofa and has barely survived Mitt Romney's Scorched Earth media blitzes. But can he escape the political chemical peel that Nancy Pelosi (doing her best Norma Desmond), threatened to unleash on him? What is the "something she knows?" A little known groundless rumor has surfaced about a short-lived Congressional theater group, organized by Dem fatale, Nancy Pelosi in the early 1990's. Convinced that the perfect roll for her was that of Super-Cougar, Mrs. Robinson, Nancy got busy on her own adaptation of "The Graduate." Funds were appropriated, auditions were held, casting photos were taken and publicity posters were run. Suddenly the money was gone and the troupe was disbanded. Could there be another couch in Newt's peccadillo prone past? –Dale

The Old Red Red and Red

Talk about your red flags. Barry Obama in a demonstration of extreme recycling, used the State of the Union address to pound the same old fairness drum that the Bolsheviks used to whip up proletariat discontent in 1917 Russia. Obama has put his own twist on it this time, by including the Bourgeoisie (middle-class), pretending to be their champion too. The craven moderates among us will only see that Barry is doing his  well meaning yet misguided best to spruce up the well of the house. A couple more government agencies to get it done is not such a big deal, can't we find common ground? Now, how many OSHA violations can you find pictured here? –Dale 

Angel Management

First Lady Michelle Obama is dismayed that she is perceived to be female, black and angry. Why can't we see her for the angel she is? She devotes herself to helping military families become a new victim class, while Barry works to send 80,000 of them to the unemployment line. She shoulders the burden of being the only one in America to care what our kids eat. Well, it looks like phony baloney has been approved for the menu. The woman who said, "For the first time in my adult lifetime, I'm proud of my country." and "America is a downright mean country." and "To be justified in your ignorance, that's America." Just sounds a little on edge to us. Maybe she just needs a vacation or better yet, maybe she needs to turn to Barry and shout, "LET'S MOVE!" –Dale 

Tebow in the Termite Mound

In the Babylon of Daniel the prophet, worshipping the wrong God openly got you a one-way ticket to the Lion's Den. The same offense today gets you thrown into America's leftist media Termite Mound. Bill Maher, Bill Press and their ilk are to our social fabric what the termite is to architecture. The two Bills spearheaded the recent vicious attacks on Tim Tebow. His crime, he openly loves Jesus. Then he started to win games, culminating in last week's wildcard game. John 3:16 became the number one Google search the following morning. The introduction to the Good News of salvation through Jesus Christ went out to millions. God was glorified, and some were certainly saved, which is primarily what Tebow and every believer prays for. Entertaining football is a bonus. Go Tebow! –Dale
Click for more amazing Tebow stats.

More

Barry Obama, the undisputed champion of single syllable sloganeering, is seen here fixing the economy with another injection of borrowed money. To finance himself and his cronies in the name of phony justice, he wants a debt ceiling rise of 1.2 Trillion...MORE. It's going to take a four syllable word to remedy this problem...IN-TER-VEN-TION. –Dale 

The Dawkins Delusion

Atheist militant Richard Dawkins has produced a children's book entitled "The Magic of Reality" and in doing so has joined the Millstone Swim and Dive Club. Spreading his venom for God to kids under the guise of Scientism is about as putrid as it gets. Children using simple God-given logic conclude the existence of a creator. It requires an abandonment of logic to attain self omniscience and declare there is no God. The materialist's faith in the escape hatch of "there just wasn't enough evidence for me" won't wash on judgement day. Here's a book idea: The ghost of Christopher Hitchens, Jacob Marley style, appears to Richard Dawkins and sets him straight. Dickey would probably make a hash of it, too bad Hitchens isn't still around to write it. –Dale

Blame Bush

Ever wonder why Barry seems so uncomfortable with all things Christmas? You'd think he and his government were in danger of bursting into flames at the mere mention of the word. Yet the first family has 37 trees in the White House. Upon closer inspection we find they're not Christmas trees at all, but actually Blame Bushes, symbols of an entirely different celebration. Happy Obamza? –Dale 

Iconoclasm

As we wave goodbye to the little bottle of sunshine known as the incandescent light bulb and prepare to submit to the government mandate to illuminate our lives with Compact Fluorescence, some reflection is in order. Aside from energy savings, the CFL is inferior in every way. They're slow to come on and give off a sickly glow, flooding your room with that Leningrad ambience. If you break one, forget about it, seal off the room and call in a Hazmat team. But what about the good ol' light bulb's status as an icon? The cartoon community is being robbed of an invaluable tool to convey the dawning of a bright idea. The downsides of the Leningrad Lamp continue to grow. A new adage for our times might be, "Use an unauthorized mousetrap and the appropriate government agency will beat down your door." –Dale

Compromising Positions

And the Magoo goes to...General Colin Powell. The rhinoceros has very poor eyesight and is regularly observed charging tree trunks and termite mounds. Similarly, the R.I.N.O. is regularly observed attacking his own kind. Perennial turncoat, Colin Powell has charged the Tea Party with a foolish inability to compromise. But what does he propose we compromise with, Marxism? I guess so, since he saw fit to endorse Obama in the last election. If the Tea Party ever decides to hand out awards to conservative renegades, this Democrat 5th Column General should be among the first recipients. Better yet, the General needs to turn his coat inside out and just be the lefty he is. –Dale

Cheeky Peace

Mahmoud, what are you doing?! First you claim to have captured CIA agents. Now you've unleashed "students" on the British Embassy. If you weren't nuts, you'd pipe down, sit back and let Barry allow Sharia to go viral all around you. Don't you realize that shouting DEATH TO AMERICA seriously hampers Barry's re-election plans? That's the one thing that can get you in serious trouble with the One. If you could only quiet your inner mad dog, Barry will take care of that DOWN WITH AMERICA thing for you too. –Dale

Pilgrim's Progressive

1620, Plymouth Massachusetts. Our Out of Order historian has discovered a heretofore unknown Pilgrim Father named Squander Obama. Squander, along with a small contingent of other Communitarians had stowed away onboard the Mayflower during her historic voyage. While not a signatory to the Mayflower Compact, Obama was reported to have been present for the occasion. Amazingly, none of the Communitarians were adversely affected during "The Starving Time" that first winter, in fact, they seemed quite robust as they watched half of the other colonists die. Happy Thanksgiving. –Dale

Dreams from My Second Term

Barry Obama, the Anti-Reagan, having done for the word "HOPE" what homosexual activists have done for the word "GAY" is no longer happy to simply undo everything that Reagan accomplished in the United States. He dreams of bigger things, like taking a leading role in turning the world over to the enemies of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. –Dale

The Gospel of Marx

Almost three years into his ministry, the real Messiah had eliminated disease in Israel and preached the Gospel of Peace with God to the entire nation without a teleprompter. How's the American left's smooth talkin' secular savior doing by comparison? With the complicity of a thoroughly corrupt leftist press, he has used the politics of race, class and sex to divide the country to near Civil War proportions. He has plundered the treasury for the sake of self and party, causing his enemies (us) to potentially finance the fundamental transformation of a once free society into one more socialist basket case. That's the problem with false messiahs, somebody else is always getting crucified. –Dale

Mitt on a Mission

What is Mitt Romney peddling? If you said a bicycle you'd be partially right. Partially right just like Mitt's politics. He seems to have the Obamaesque ability to take both sides of any issue simultaneously. The establishment Republican intelligentsia seem to think that's a winning combination. But what about the third rail of Mitt's faith? Numero uno Latter-Day Saint, Mormon prophet Joseph Smith, declared orthodox Christianity to be an abomination. That orthodox Christians would be reluctant to assist in raising the stock of a candidate belonging to the organization espousing this notion comes as a shock to many in right-wing punditry. Shouldn't any organization in which Harry Reid is a member in good standing be viewed with suspicion? What the pundits and the RNC don't get is that the prime directive for Evangelical Christians is the dissemination of the Gospel. Christians must vote to retain as much religious freedom as possible, yet we are accused of religious bigotry and hatred for taking a candidate's religious affiliation into account when deciding whom to vote for. Christians do not hate Mormons, we simply believe them to be victims of a false religion, just as Barack Obama is a victim of Jeremiah Wright's twisted theology. If the choice is Romney or Obama... go Romney! P.S. If anyone is concerned that Mitt is pictured here breaking a helmet law, Mitt's hair officially qualifies as impact resistant. –Dale

More LDS information here

Bride of Frankenbarry

At 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue the lines between trick and treat are being blurred beyond recognition. White House occupiers Barack and Michelle Obama are getting all reanimated over the approach of Liberal Christmas. Halloween, the one night of the year when extortion by threat of vandalism is alive in the streets. The rest of the year, it's just called domestic policy. –Dale

Choice of Toppings

Herman Cain lacks the gooey extra cheese which is the hallmark of the professional politician. His 999 plan would remove the social engineering and lobbyist feeding trough features of our currently insane income tax scheme. Time will tell if there's still hope for a "Citizen Statesman" to lead in America. Maybe he's just what the founders ordered. –Dale

The Fleaparty-Occupying Mr. Bags

What do we want?! EVERYTHING! When do we want it?! NOW! The cry of drug addled youth whipped up by leftist agitators. Glommunist Party Fleabaggers continue to demonstrate the Proletariat Sloth Ethic across the fruited plain. –Dale

Being Joe Biden

Barack Obama's first executive decision, Joe Biden. Who better to keep a hawk eye on a mountain of stimulus cash. Obama was able to plumb the depths of the Biden mind maze to discover that any White House secret that entered there, had no chance of finding its way out. As for whistle blowing... what's a whistle? –Dale

Uninformed

Morgan Freeman, one of Hollywood's finest empty vessels, has let fly with both empty barrels at the Tea Party movement. No big shock to discover that Freeman is just another Hollywood tool regurgitating poisonous lines fed to him by his leftist buddies. One would hope that he would accept the challenge from Herman Cain to attend a Tea Party rally to see for himself. He'd find the Tea Party to be a liberty driven movement where all are welcome, not the evil KKK lynch mob he says he envisions. Something tells me not to hold my breath waiting. Freeman's ability to play likable and wise characters prove him to be a truly great actor. –Dale

An open invitation to Morgan Freeman that's worth a read.