A naked heterosexual couple embrace in shadows.
It was the perception of action in this drawing (I think it’s a computer rendering?) that made it apparent to me. I like the way he is keeping his balance with his hands far away, letting her hands reach for what she wants.
Most of the time, men are expected to take an active role in everything sexual. This makes it difficult to be inviting, since so much focus is instead on taking. The inverse is true of the way society trains women to be sexual. Out-and-out taking is demonized while inviting seduction, being attractive enough for the taking, is all but engrained into women’s daily lives.
Frustratingly, BDSM doesn’t actually change this. As I’ve remarked numerous times, even in the BDSM subculture, it doesn’t matter if a man is dominant or submissive; every man is the pursuer and every woman is pursued. Recently, Figleaf restated this phenomenon more generically another way:
[A]n uninformed public arrives with its preconceptions about certain acts… especially acts related to sex…fully formed. And, as we see from concerns expressed by Matisse (one penis policy), say, or Sex Geek (topping a top), those preconceptions can bleed into actual informed practice as well…contributing to the frequent frustrated dissatisfaction of those who don’t notice they’re doing it and frustrated annoyance of those who do.
Indeed, as much as counter-culture currents such as BDSM, polyamory, and queer communities hope to reject certain dichotomies on which the hegemony is based, there are countless instances where they merely import the same ideals manifested in different ways.
Light and dark. Male and female. ☯