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Week 2

Icons link to that team's subreddit.

Time Home @ Away TV
Thu 8:20 PM CHI @ GB NFLN
Sun 1:00 PM KC @ BUF CBS
Sun 1:00 PM NO @ CAR FOX
Sun 1:00 PM CLE @ CIN CBS
Sun 1:00 PM MIN @ IND FOX
Sun 1:00 PM HOU @ JAC CBS
Sun 1:00 PM OAK @ MIA CBS
Sun 1:00 PM ARI @ NE FOX
Sun 1:00 PM TB @ NYG FOX
Sun 1:00 PM BAL @ PHI CBS
Sun 4:05 PM DAL @ SEA FOX
Sun 4:05 PM WAS @ STL FOX
Sun 4:25 PM NYJ @ PIT CBS
Sun 4:25 PM TEN @ SD CBS
Sun 8:20 PM DET @ SF NBC
Mon 8:30 PM DEN @ ATL ESPN

What games are on TV in my area?

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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]PackersMrSkimMilk 374 points375 points ago

Can we please title this Roughing the Passer?

[–]SteelersKuchenmeister 232 points233 points ago

49 shades of Green Bay

[–]Giantspenguinsarecooool 54 points55 points ago

Flag is Up on the Play

[–]PanthersAreonis 85 points86 points ago

Unnecessary roughness on the tight end.

[–]Saintsstonecoldgrits 56 points57 points ago

Tight end becomes wide receiver.

[–]Redskinsugnaught 1261 points1262 points ago

Well this is a first in r/nfl

[–]TexansEriden 180 points181 points ago

a community for 3 years

And we're clearly still too young for it.

[–]49erscallmecatalyst 26 points27 points ago

Perhaps it was too soon...perhaps we just weren't ready for nice things yet.

[–]JetsMonsterIt 51 points52 points ago

[–]ChargersWbran[!] 28 points29 points ago

You clearly need to read erotic /sp/ threads on 4chan. I've seen fics regarding Rex Ryan you wouldn't believe....

[–]Redskinsugnaught 35 points36 points ago

[–]Giantsachingchangchong 34 points35 points ago

Aaron Rodgers: An Erotic Life

[–]BearsAngry_Caveman_Lawyer 576 points577 points ago

I damned sure hope it's the last as well. WTF.

[–]PackersDonDriver 73 points74 points ago

While I agree, this was absolutely OK to post.

As long as writing erotic fiction about QBs doesn't become this year's "I'll drink my piss if..." then I'm OK.

Also, even though he won't see this, congrats Kluwe, as evidenced from the above, your sharp tongue has already had an effect on reddit.

[–]#5 Chris KluweLoate 20 points21 points ago

I cannot believe somehow I missed this. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

[–]Redskinszipzap21 160 points161 points ago

Judging from the number of upvotes, there appears to be big demand for this kind of thing!

[–]plasker6 161 points162 points ago

This week: Bears and Packers. It writes itself!

[–]ChargersDirtBurglar 69 points70 points ago

Are you nick kroll?

[–]Seahawksediba 35 points36 points ago


[–]SaintsRustyTromboneaux 184 points185 points ago

"Fuck my boy pussy Alex."

That's where me and Aaron Rodgers both lost our shit.

[–]Coltspirate_doug 20 points21 points ago

Nah, A-Rod's just went back up the pipes a bit.

[–]Lamaaka 17 points18 points ago

Obviously written by a straight guy.

[–]BearsHank_Moody 164 points165 points ago

I've been subscribed to /r/nfl for less than 24 hours. Not sure what I've gotten myself into.

[–]PatriotsKraz226 118 points119 points ago

Gooble gobble, bitch.

[–]BillsBeGeeGeeI399 19 points20 points ago

Was this in reference to possibly the greatest film of all time?

[–]BearsBasatan 31 points32 points ago


[–]SteelersCookPu 270 points271 points ago

[–]BroncosAvoidingIowa 254 points255 points ago

[–]MardukSlayerOfTiamat 17 points18 points ago

I need context. This cant be real.

[–]49ersJonny_Watts 19 points20 points ago

He was probably just joking around.

...or practicing...

[–]Steelersschneid3306 7 points8 points ago

Nope that is 100% real. It was the Jets-Steelers AFCCG before XLV.

[–]RavensLordofthePit 36 points37 points ago

lol he looks like bill from king of the hill

[–]PatriotsDabbleSauce 169 points170 points ago

Half-chub, reporting in.


"His gigantic dong flopped out of his uniform. A thundering bang was heard when it slapped against his leg"

Had me laughing pretty hard

[–]PatriotsTheGrog 40 points41 points ago

monstrous pecker

[–]PatriotsDabbleSauce 23 points24 points ago

packer pun

[–]PackersTappen_Zee 51 points52 points ago

He missed a golden opportunity to use "monstrous packer pecker."

[–]BearsTurnerJ5 365 points366 points ago

Hey, what's this thread abo-

Also, we're going to have a dedicated "Weekly Wagers" post soon. In order to maintain visiblity and keep the frontpage uncluttered it's gonna be a thing.

[–]Saintsfindler 33 points34 points ago

[–]49ersvuxa 31 points32 points ago

[–]EaglesHoney_Otter 193 points194 points ago

[–]Seahawksstabbitystyle 43 points44 points ago

God I love that gif.

[–]Coltsbusche916 40 points41 points ago

Dammit Gus, I can never be mad at you.

[–]ProfProphet713 15 points16 points ago

I heard that.

[–]BroncosCrosshare 7 points8 points ago

James Harrison, come back!

[–]marcopolo22 17 points18 points ago

[–]Cardinalsch0och 14 points15 points ago

I feel partly responsible... awesome

[–]LionsIdeal_Ideas 13 points14 points ago

I'm no longer going to bet breaking my extremities on games I think we are going to win.

[–]RavensBALTIM0R0N 14 points15 points ago

There needs to be a weekly "wager" thread and "wager result" thread.

[–]LizzyBreal 76 points77 points ago

I'm a lesbian and that made me straight. Or it made me a gay dude? Not sure how this works..

[–]Coltsheyheymse 27 points28 points ago

I'm a bisexual and it changed literally nothing about the way I look at Alex Smith. Take that however you like.

[–]PackersByTheNineDivine 10 points11 points ago

But Rodgers' massive dong..

[–]bleachqueen 19 points20 points ago

I'm just gay and I love penis

[–]BearsSCupit 68 points69 points ago

Oh god I felt dirty reading that...what the fuck...

[–]RavensBriguy24 17 points18 points ago

Yeah.... I did not expect that at all.....

[–]49erscant_program 57 points58 points ago

It's erotic fan fiction, what were you expecting?

[–]RavensBriguy24 20 points21 points ago

It's Monday, I'm hunover at work and I'm excited for the Ravens game tonight and besides I didn't read the whole title. I thought it was about the Alex Smith jersey Rodgers has to wear this week.


[–]49erscant_program 14 points15 points ago

Just when I think you couldn't possibly get any dumber, you go and post a link to that...


[–]RavensBriguy24 9 points10 points ago


[–]BillsDrunken_Economist 464 points465 points ago

IAmA guy with a half-chub from NFL fanfic. AMA.

[–]BearsNubras 127 points128 points ago

Would you consider yourself a heterosexual? Do you often get half-chubs from hetero fanfic? How about homo fanfic? What about NFL vs. non-NFL fanfic?

Jesus I have a TON of questions here, please don't hesitate in following up.

[–]49ersn8wolf 128 points129 points ago

I can offer a few answers. Heterosexual 24 yo man here.

This was my second experience with Homoerotic fanfic. (I read a Troy Aikman/Steve Young book as a child. First I ever heard of docking.) I have to say that while the backstory was nice, the author glossed over the more explicit elements and could learn a lesson or two about subtlety.

Overall: one enthusiastic boner.

[–]BearsNubras 40 points41 points ago

Some valuable insights into the adventurous minds of today's youth. I agree with the subtlety comments, considering I briefly had a mental image of "Aaron's hairy asshole"; sometimes, less is more, you know?

Bonus points for the fact that Alex and Aaron sound like names that could very conceivably be featured alongside one another in a gay porn.

I mildly regret not having been aroused by the story.

[–]ColtsGuildensternenstein 42 points43 points ago

Same here. Can you imagine the hanjobs A-Rod could probably give with that arm of his?

[–]BillsDrunken_Economist 79 points80 points ago

I can't stop imagining it.

[–]holden-magroin 19 points20 points ago

I'm glad that I'm not the only one.

[–]RaidersFullSharkAlligator 53 points54 points ago

If the Packers had won, would Aaron be the top and Alex the bottom?

[–]Packersmagic_is_might 43 points44 points ago

I don't know what's worse, the fact that you wrote this, the fact that I read it all, or the fact I laughed my ass off and hope that there are more lost bets like this.

[–]TexansWarpfire 201 points202 points ago

[–]Dolphinsgthec9909 21 points22 points ago

I was trying to find the perfect way to sum it up, but I couldn't do any better than that.

[–]Vikingsvladthor 40 points41 points ago

I didn't react like this, but the gif belongs here:

[–]Texansslowmotionjones 1087 points1088 points ago

Brady Quinn's arm collapsed under him with the force of the fucking he was getting. His face mashed into the pillow on his king size bed, and his head started rhythmically bumping against the headboard. He tried to ignore his discomfort, focusing instead on the fact that he had no idea when he'd again get a chance to feel this good, to get fucked this deeply and thoroughly. One hand was between his legs, stroking his fat six inch cock; he had fallen onto the other. He was propped up on that elbow, his hand straining to graze one of his nipples. He was sweating, having been fucked already for ten minutes. He knew from experience he was probably going to get another half hour or so. A jolt of pleasure coursed through him as he was smacked, hard on his smooth right ass cheek.

"Yeah, baby," said a deep sexy voice, "you like that, don't you? I love how your big ass flexes when you get spanked." Brady felt another smack, harder this time, and he let out an involuntary moan and, reflexively, flexed his hard muscular ass. Brady pushed his arms back under himself, and looked down his torso. He was on all fours, his massive smooth body was taut, freshly shaved, freshly worked out, and perfectly defined. His massive pecs heaved with each plunging stroke into his ass, and his abs were tight, trying to balance Brady's big 6'4" frame against the powerful fucking abuse it was taking. The only hair on his body, was the carefully trimmed bush at the base of Brady's fat six inch cock, which was totally hard and tightly flexed up against Brady's stomach. His smooth nuts were tight against his body, resting between Brady's thick smooth legs. As usual, Brady had shaved his legs that morning, and his massive quads, still sore from his morning workout, were straining to push back against the hard pounding his ass was taking. Brady loved his body---he would admit, privately, that he was totally a narcissist 'you would be, too,' he would always say to himself as he watched himself in a mirror. He felt another hard thwack against his backside, and watched his pecs tighten against the heave the most recent stroke had caused. Between his legs, Brady could see two heavy, massive dark nuts swinging back and forth with the momentum of the fuck he was getting.

Brady and LeBron James had first met in 2008. They were the two biggest stars in Cleveland, and Brady had been curious since he came to town to find out if LeBron was up for fucking him. One night in 2008, Brady went over to his buddy Grady Sizemore's place for a party for local athletes. LeBron was there, looking sexy in casual shorts and a tshirt. Brady kept trying to catch a glimpse of what was swinging between his legs, but he couldn't get any intel. After everyone had some food and a few drinks, Brady went to take a piss. He wasn't paying attention and walked right into the bathroom while LeBron was taking a leak. The 6'8" Cav stud had his shorts down and his huge black snake in his hand. Brady tried to stammer an apology and back away, but he was entranced. LeBron knew it, too. He smiled and beckoned Brady to come in and close the door. Brady soon met LeBron's massive eleven inch cut cock with its gorgeously shaped pink mushroom head and the huge nuts to match. Brady was instantly hooked on LeBron from the first sight, and the long, deep fucking he got that night left him addicted. Ever since, Brady did whatever was necessary to make sure he got fucked at least once every week by LeBron's big monster.

"Take that big cock, baby," said LeBron, licking his lips as he plunged the full eleven inch length of his cock in and out of Brady's hole. "Milk my dick like you want it, bitch." LeBron gave Brady another smack on his ass, leaving a massive hand-shaped red mark on the smooth skin. Brady's ass clenched with the spank, and he could feel his ass tightening around the merciless invader. The room was silent, except for LeBron's talk, the occasional smack on Brady's ass, and the regular sound of LeBron's tight body ramming into Brady's firm ass, his heavy nuts bouncing against Brady's legs. Brady was in heaven, letting out a long low moan of pleasure as LeBron's cock pounded nearly a foot inside him and then left him empty and aching to be filled again.

Brady had done as LeBron liked. He took a shower an hour before LeBron showed up, taking extra care to make sure he was completely clean. Then he shaved his arms and legs like he did before a game. Then he put on a tight pair of white briefs and nothing else. The curtains were drawn in Brady's room, and the light from the adjoining bathroom was the only light in the room. Brady had stripped his comforter off the bed, leaving only the white sheets and pillows. Brady opened his garage door, so LeBron wouldn't been seen coming in, turned off lights in the house, and then went to the bed and laid down on his stomach. LeBron walked into the bedroom with a "yeah, baby" at the sight of the smooth impossibly well-muscled stud in his briefs and nothing else. LeBron was in a wife beater and a pair of loose sweats, tied off so that they hung low on his muscular ass. LeBron took a knee on the bed, and slapped Brady's ass. LeBron loved how big and round the QB's muscle ass looked in the tiny white briefs. He started stroking his big monster through his sweatpants as he caressed Brady's big muscle ass. Brady looked over his shoulder, showing LeBron his perfect white teeth, and moaned appreciatively as LeBron's hands started running all over Brady's ass.

"Damn, you're pretty, boy," said LeBron, getting up and walking toward Brady's head. He pulled the muscular white boy up onto his knees, and Brady dove into LeBron's chest, running his tongue over LeBron's chest hair, as LeBron peeled off his wife beater. Brady worked his way down LeBron's tight, muscled stomach, bathing the taller man in his spit. Brady dove his face into the crotch of LeBron's sweatpants, and tried to wrap his lips around LeBron's quickly hardening cock. LeBron reached down Brady's body, and ran his hands under Brady's briefs. He grabbed a fistful of Brady's hard ass, and Brady could feel his cock jump. "Fuck, boy, I'm going to miss this ass when you leave."

"Damn, LeBron, this ass is going to be lonely out in Denver," said Brady matter-of-factly. "You'll have to give it one hell of a sendoff." He peeled down LeBron's sweats, grabbed the fat monster by the base, barely able to wrap his big hands around the base. He opened his mouth, and took four or five inches into his throat. LeBron's cock throbbed as it quickly hardened. LeBron had his hands down in Brady's crack, his thick fingers teasing around the warm hole. He pulled his cock out of Brady's throat, and turned the football stud around, so he could see that big, beautiful ass. LeBron pulled off the tight briefs, revealing the perfectly round, hard muscle ass that he had conquered. With the briefs out of the way, LeBron dove into the smooth, hairless crack, and started tonguing Brady's hole. Brady loved the way LeBron rimmed him, and the tall Cav had a massive, and powerful, tongue. LeBron had Brady relaxed and opened up in no time, and had Brady ready to get fucked.

Now, almost twenty minutes into the fuck, LeBron was covered in sweat, and Brady wanted a better view. Fortunately, LeBron was ready for a change. "Roll over, boy," said LeBron, withdrawing his huge dick from Brady's gaping hole. "Let me see that pretty face of yours." LeBron's head popped out of Brady's hole, and he felt like he was gaping wide open after the pummeling his poor hole had taken. Brady rolled onto his back, his cock still rockhard against his flat stomach. His legs were shaking from the fucking he had taken, and it felt fantastic to finally take his weight off them. He stretched his massive arms up over his head, and felt his muscles relax. LeBron moved onto the bed, and was stroking his cock while he watched his beautiful white fuck toy stretch himself out on the bed. Brady loved how hot LeBron looked, LeBron's massive dick was rock hard and slick with lube and sweat and spit, having just plowed into the muscle stud. LeBron's tattoos were glistening with sweat that was dripping down his face and collecting in the valleys of his cut, muscular torso. His abs and pecs were heaving with each breath. LeBron looked like such a stud, and Brady couldn't wait to drain his load out of his nuts.

[–]Angel_Heart 392 points393 points ago

I really want to suck some cock now.

[–]DSpuDs 226 points227 points ago

Scroll down, See this comment, Realize im in the wrong place.

[–]HotcakesUnited 209 points210 points ago

Or maybe the right place.

[–]asforalways 134 points135 points ago


i have also been magically turned into a lustful cockmonster

[–]Sexy_Offender 67 points68 points ago

Denial is the first sign.

[–]Relevant_PinkFloyd 52 points53 points ago

Are there any queers in the theater tonight? Get them up against the wall! There's one in the spotlight, he don't look right to me, get him up against the wall!

[–]Texansslowmotionjones 549 points550 points ago

Brady lifted his huge legs up towards his head, and LeBron moved into position, lining up his eleven inch monster with Brady's abused hole. The head went in smoothly, and LeBron sharply inhaled at the pleasure. Brady let out a moan of pleasure, and bore down, his ass ready to receive the big cock. LeBron slid in, and Brady rolled his hips against the cock, trying to get it all in him. Brady's whole body shivered as he felt LeBron's cock pass his prostate, about two-thirds of the way in. From, the new position, LeBron could get even more of his big cock into Brady, and when Brady felt LeBron's heavy balls press against his ass, he was shocked at how much more of LeBron's cock was now inside. LeBron saw that he was trying to get used to this new angle, and he pressed his weight against the QB's legs, pushing in as much as possible. After a few seconds, Brady visibly relaxed, and LeBron went to work. LeBron had Brady's feet in his big hands, and used them to pull Brady's legs up and away from each other. With his legs spread, LeBron had a bird's eye view of his fat black cock pumping in and out of Brady's hole. Brady's cock was still rock hard, and LeBron saw that Brady's stomach was glistening with the precum he was leaking.

Brady threw his head back in ecstasy as LeBron started pounding him seriously. He felt like he was being beaten up inside out, but as the fat shaft passed over and against his prostate over and over again, Brady felt his whole body suffuse with pleasure. He was moaning loudly, the sound interrupted only by the involuntary hiccup caused by LeBron bottoming out balls deep with each thrust. LeBron was breathing hard, and his heavy nuts were slapping with a wet thud against Brady's ass on each thrust. LeBron's long body was fully flexed, as his arms supported Brady's big legs, LeBron's hips and legs were thrusting, and his torso heaved with the exertion. LeBron's tongue was licking his upper lip as he focused on getting every last bit of pleasure from Brady's hole that he could. Brady was doing his part by trying his best to clamp down on the big cock on the upstrokes and bear down on the downstrokes, but there was little he could do against the onslaught. Even a tight, toned ass like Brady's was basically defenseless against eleven inches of thick black cock plunging as hard and fast as LeBron.

Brady's prostate was working overtime with the pounding. LeBron was deeper than anything Brady had ever felt before, and that pain mixed with the pleasure coming from his prostate to drive him wild. Brady reached down, and ran his finger through the pool of precum on his smooth hard stomach, and brought it up to his lips. The sweet taste filled his mouth, and he saw LeBron crack a smile at the sight of his little white fuck toy enjoying his own juice. That smile was about all he could take. It felt like LeBron was close, because he seemed-if it was possible-even bigger for the last few strokes, and Brady's prostate was finally finished. Brady felt his whole body convulsing in pleasure as his orgasm started deep inside him. He wasn't touching his cock at all, as it throbbed up from his stomach and his balls tightened into his body. He was now moaning so loud he was practically shouting. LeBron watched amazed, as the muscular stud's body started twitching all over, each muscle visibly flexing beyond Brady's control. LeBron felt his balls start to tighten as Brady's ass spasmed around his thick hog. He tried to keep fucking as long as possible, but he was done when he saw Brady's cock start spewing thick white cum all over the smooth mounds of Brady's hairless stomach and chest. LeBron felt his cum churning inside him, and pulled his big cock out of Brady's cock with an audible pop. Brady immediately dropped his legs around his stud top, and LeBron furiously beat his big cock as he started shooting cum up the length of the stud QB's body. Brady's arms were over his head, as his cock finished dropping its load, and his own cum was quickly intermingled with the heavy spurts that LeBron was dropping all over him. When LeBron finally stopped spasming and stroking his cock and opened his eyes, Brady's stomach, cock, balls, quads, chest, and neck were laced with the two studs' thick loads.

As always, LeBron caressed Brady's body while he slowly licked all the cum off his fuck toy. LeBron knew he needed to plan a trip to Denver.

[–]Patriotslemonpjb 150 points151 points ago

and pulled his big cock out of Brady's cock


[–]Sometimes_Retarded 98 points99 points ago

With an audible pop

[–]BuccaneersRTL15 52 points53 points ago

I cringed.

[–]rainbow_stereotype 29 points30 points ago

[–]ChiefsParker_I 7 points8 points ago

It's got to be out there, somewhere. I hope to never find it.

[–]SRSLY_GUYS_SRSLY 42 points43 points ago

Oh god, Did not read... so glad

[–]alienangel2 82 points83 points ago

First time visiting /r/nfl ... this was unexpected.

[–]ilmrynorlion 12 points13 points ago


[–]anhero23 9 points10 points ago

... well this was... uh, yeah. That about sums it up.

[–]Packersmagic_is_might 336 points337 points ago

What the fuck

This reminds me of the time me and some other poster wrote Game of Thrones incest/slashfic in a r/gameofthrones thread once.

[–]Chiefstwitch1982 576 points577 points ago

I thought GoT was incest/slashfic.

[–]Packersmagic_is_might 172 points173 points ago

...You have a point.

[–]Jetsretinarow 251 points252 points ago

this reminds me of the time someone wrote Game of Thrones.

[–]SG_Dave 48 points49 points ago

I remember that. You guys may have gone a little too far.

[–]Packersmagic_is_might 37 points38 points ago

Not as far as slowmotionjones has gone ;)

[–]Viatos 48 points49 points ago

Not as far as LeBron has gone

[–]sc2noob100 30 points31 points ago

You shoulda read the starcraft erotic fanfiction several months ago... hilarious but disturbing...

[–]Learz 32 points33 points ago


Just, you know... if anyone else was interested, I wouldn't want them to be disappointed.

[–]Phyics_Son 23 points24 points ago

This is like being fucked by a sandy dildo while gilbert godfrey shouts sweet nothings in your ear.

[–]ColtsyouRheaDiSoNfirE 15 points16 points ago

I agree to the FISTING, but I'd really like to claim your ASS

[–]Patriotsfoxboroliving 165 points166 points ago

[–]Texansslowmotionjones 294 points295 points ago

The Pats pulled out a victory, but Jared didn't care. It was actually a close game, and he was the only one smiling in the locker room. He kept grinning while he took a shower, but he had a hard time washing his cock and balls, because he was so fucking horned at the thought of bedding Brady. Though he and his teammates had probably all been hard or semi hard in front of each other before, Jared didn't want to draw any attention to himself today.

Jared talked to the press, talked to his teammates, talked to his coaches, and finally got dressed. He pulled on a jock, some mesh shorts, and a gray t-shirt, and headed over toward the Patriots locker room. The crowd had clearly thinned out after the game, and as best as Jared could tell there were only a few people left.

Jared hung out in the hall and watched the people go by, keeping a mental tally of how many he thought were left. He saw coach Belichick leave with a few straggling players and figured the locker room was probably empty. Except for Brady.

Jared walked into the expansive and empty home locker room at Gillette Stadium. The place smelled of sweat and dirt and cologne and soap, but the lights were dimmed, and clearly most everyone had already fled. Probably the maintenance crew would be in soon to clean everything up.

If what he had heard was true, then Jared expected to find Brady in the film room, but he had no idea where he was going. His cock stirred a little in his shorts as he walked up and down the halls looking for the right room. None of the damned doors were labeled, so he found the showers, the therapy room, the coaches' offices, and a few storage closets with no luck. At the last door down a hallway, Jared paused because he heard noise on the other side.

"See, you didn't cut right on that route," Jared heard a man's voice say firmly. "How many times have I told you that you have to run the routes properly? You know how pissed I get when you're not where you're supposed to be. And here! You did it again. Why are you such a stupid little bitch? I know you're sorry, but you need to stop apologizing and do it right." Jared listened at the door for a while, and wondered who the hell was in there. He thought maybe it was Brady, so he opened the door a crack and looked inside.

Jared saw game film projected onto the far wall of the room, and saw a standing figure silhouetted by the image. Jared couldn't figure out what exactly was going on. The figure appeared to be in uniform, and he kept talking.

"This is why you have to be punished," the silhouetted figure continued. "You don't run routes right. You don't pay attention." As Jared stepped into the room silently and closed the door behind him, he could make out a number 12 on the back of the silhouetted figure.

"You're such a little bitch," said the standing figure Jared now figured was Brady. "The only thing you're good at is sucking my big cock, you little fag. Gisele sucks at it, but you know just how to suck my nuts dry." With that, Jared's cock sprang to life. Brady likes getting his cock sucked by a guy! But who was it? Jared couldn't see a face, but he now could make out that there was a smaller figure on his knees in front of Brady, and that figure was clearly sucking on Brady's cock.

"I'm sorry, Tom," said the figure on his knees. "I'll try to do better next week. I already work really hard at it, and I've gotten much better."

"You have," said Tom, "but you still have a lot of work to do. Based on today's performance, I think you'll need to give me your ass again, Wes."

"Holy shit!" thought Jared. "It's Welker." Now that he knew what he was looking for, the 83 was clear as a bell on the smaller figure's jersey. Jared's jock was suddenly too small, as he realized what this mean. Wes Welker has submitted to Tom Brady, and Brady uses him as a personal cocksucker and fuck toy. Jared's job suddenly got much easier. As he thought about how exactly to break the ice and announce his presence, Jared leaned against the closed door and watched for a while.

Brady was still in his uniform. His hair was tousled and sweaty from the game, and his broad shoulders looked great in his jersey. His tight pants were unbuttoned in front, but cupped his muscular ass perfectly for Jared. Jared's big hog was straining in his jock, so Jared pulled it out to the side, and gently stroked it through his mesh shorts.

Brady kept lecturing Wes about his poor route running and run blocking, while Wes's mouth was full of Brady's cock. Jared couldn't get a good view, but from how far Wes's head was bobbing, it looked like the rumor's of Tom's big cock were probably true--if a bit exaggerated. Jared could see that Wes was hard in his uniform pants, but they were closed--probably something Tom demanded.

"Alright, you've done enough," said Tom suddenly. "Let me taste your ass before I fuck you." Brady's cock popped out of Wes's mouth, and Wes stood up to undo his pants. When he did, he caught sight of Jared at the back of the room.

"Sir," was all Wes said as he pointed at Jared. Brady wheeled around with a look of terror and fury.

"What the fu... is that you faggot?" Brady snarled when he saw who it was. "I didn't think you were actually a fag, but it looks like you're turned on by our little scene. Makes sense. All the fags want to do me. If you ask nicely, I'll let my bitch suck your cock. Then you can have your dream come true and suck my big dick." As he said the last bit, Brady turned around. He had a pretty big cock, probably seven and a half inches, but it wasn't what it was sold as. The thing that was amazing about Brady's package were his balls. Brady had two enormous, low hanging nuts that must be full of cum. Jared's mouth watered at the sight of those nuts, but he remembered what he was here for.

"I'd love to get my cock sucked," he said

"You heard him, bitch, get to work." Welker's pants were off, and Jared's cock twitched at the sight of Wes's pretty ass. It was a hot round bubble of muscle with a tempting hint of fur inside the crack. Jared wasn't surprised that Brady had somehow picked up a taste for eating ass when that was the ass on the menu.

As Jared got close to the two, it was clear that they had showered after the game, because they both smelled clean. So that meant the uniforms was another part of their role play. "Weird," thought Jared. "Really, weird. No one else knows about these two."

Wes was now on all fours, his ass in the air. Brady dove in between Wes's cheeks with a grin on his face, and from the eye-fluttering look of joy that swept across Wes's face, Jared figured Brady must be doing a hell of a job.

After he regained his composure, Wes motioned Jared in front of him. "Let's see what you've got stud," said Wes with a mischievous grin. "You've always looked like a fucking stud, so it's good you wandered in here." Jared smiled, because the diminutive receiver had always been high on his jerk off list. Jared loved fucking shorter guys. They always looked so hot sitting on Jared's strong torso and wriggling on his fat cock. Jared knew he'd have to keep his focus on the job at hand, but that he would get his chance to properly fuck Welker later.

[–]FalconsSpitfire221 343 points344 points ago

50 Shades of Brady

By Slowmotionjones

(Audiobook read by Peyton Manning)

[–]RedskinsBenIsHere 60 points61 points ago

Published by Big Ben Productions.

[–]Giantssnoharm 41 points42 points ago

Fuck, Peyton's voice is way more fun but now it's taking me twice as long to read.

[–]49ersmattpsx2 140 points141 points ago

Can i get a TL:DR? I don't feel like getting a raging half-chub from reading homoerotic fanfic at work.

[–]MajorSuccess 148 points149 points ago

TL;DR sex.

[–]49ersmattpsx2 116 points117 points ago

Thanks. I still got a half-chub...

[–]compromised_account 29 points30 points ago

bro anything gives you a half chub.

[–]dirtyfr4nk 18 points19 points ago

anything bro, gives you a half chub.


[–]Sinaris 25 points26 points ago

TL;DR Gay sex.


[–]FalconsAndarion 11 points12 points ago

thats half the fun

[–]Bladewing10 57 points58 points ago

[–]Packersquedfoot 23 points24 points ago

How long have you been saving this story? IF you wrote just today then I am seriously amazed, if not then I'm just flabbergasted

[–]ANUS_CUNT_SMASHER 20 points21 points ago

I think I might be gay now.

[–]Packersmagic_is_might 46 points47 points ago

Methinks you are enjoying this a bit too much ;)

[–]SeahawksI_EAT_HAMSTERS 16 points17 points ago

Welp. This NFL season is going to be a hell of a lot different to watch after reading that. And extremely harder.

[–]SexyManUdder 14 points15 points ago

Where's the rest? Don't leave me hanging! (seriously, my boners gone).

[–]Kelsig 19 points20 points ago

[–]SirNarwhal 19 points20 points ago

Wait, how did LeBron suddenly have his cock inside Brady's cock? I'm confused...

[–]Cardinalslivejamie 40 points41 points ago


[–]zacmacgee 15 points16 points ago

I don't think I'm the only one who spontaneously masturbated to this.

[–]TexansStephen2014 27 points28 points ago

Couldn't have changed to the AFC or NFL flair for this one?

[–]TexansIDontCareForCats 8 points9 points ago

You're not proud?!

[–]rdavisii 7 points8 points ago

Alright, I'm done. Too much internet for this life.

[–]CrocodileTherapist 79 points80 points ago

that had to be the most regretful boner i have ever gotten.

[–]MightyYetGentle 86 points87 points ago

Oh god i was like WHY is my dick getting bigger right now? First gay boner ever

[–]Sexy_Offender 26 points27 points ago

Don't worry, it wasn't a choice. You were born this way.

[–]CAESARS_TOSSED_SALAD 45 points46 points ago

It was a fear boner

[–]PackersBF3FAN1 17 points18 points ago

To be honest I got one too. First gay boner ever...

[–]homohominilupus 9 points10 points ago

I'm gay and I didn't get a boner. I think I need a rugby fanfic instead of a football one.

[–]BrownsAPF429 19 points20 points ago

Why Cleveland :(

[–]febreeze_bro 16 points17 points ago


good, would read again

[–]m0ng0o53 14 points15 points ago

"50 Shades of Play"

By slowmotionjones

[–]CoyoteStark 8 points9 points ago

Implying that Brady Quinn could take more than a few hits without breaking something.

[–]defnoodle 11 points12 points ago

I can see it now, someday years from now someone's gonna mention Brady Quinn, and I'm gonna say matter of factly, "Oh yeah, that's the dude Lebron used to fuck." and everyone's just gonna look at me.

[–]PopeOfMeat 7 points8 points ago

It's 9/11 where I am, and now I'll remember this day as the one that Reddit eclipsed /b in my what-the-fuck meter.

[–]RedskinsParasitic_Lord 31 points32 points ago

HAHAHA...dude it was actually pretty good! How long did you spend on it?

[–]SteelersCookPu 62 points63 points ago

About 8 inches

[–]Redskinstitanicx 23 points24 points ago

About treefiddy...

[–]Packersamericanslang59[S] 42 points43 points ago

Like 15-20 horrible minutes!

[–]ChargersCheesyGoodness 107 points108 points ago

[–]Coltsrazpotim 29 points30 points ago

That is one of the single most hilarious things I have ever read, though it was easy to tell that you wanted it over as quick as possible, but you knew you had to make it graphic or people woundn't accept it.

Thank you for this, it's solid gold!

[–]Jetsatchman25 112 points113 points ago

Why the fuck, did I just read this..

[–]EaglesRyPhy 75 points76 points ago

man I just love jets fans. Not in a gay Alex smith Aaron Rodgers homosexual buttfucking cocksucking erotica way.

[–]baicon 30 points31 points ago

I can't be the only straight male who got a raging hard on from reading that.

[–]dirtynicker 27 points28 points ago

[–]Patriotsriottype6 76 points77 points ago


Can you do one with Tom Brady?

[–]SteelersCookPu 87 points88 points ago

featuring Tebow and Dirty Sanchez?

[–]ColtsIndianaCostanza 66 points67 points ago

[–]Texansslowmotionjones 73 points74 points ago


[–]Chargersanteros86 34 points35 points ago


[–]DolphinsBoomtown_Rat 20 points21 points ago

I'd prefer one where Brady discovered what the Dolphins blowholes were really for.

[–]Patriotscpinney 166 points167 points ago

I don't think i have ever found something to be so disgusting and yet so hilarious at the same time.

[–]Packersamericanslang59[S] 176 points177 points ago

I was cringing while typing it.

[–]RommMittney 123 points124 points ago

Admit it, you have another couple hundred pages of this stuff.

[–]Coltsbusche916 139 points140 points ago

50 shades of Aaron?

[–]Packersredhands 67 points68 points ago

50 Shades of Green Bay

[–]49erscant_program 27 points28 points ago

What wager did you lose? Fuck, I mean Alex played awesome and the Niners won, what the hell were you betting on? Unless you also changed your flair...

[–]VikingsMercades 54 points55 points ago

He is a packers fan

[–]Packersamericanslang59[S] 43 points44 points ago

The bet was that the Packers would beat the Niners by more than 3.

[–]49erscant_program 99 points100 points ago

Oh yeah, they only ended up winning by -8, you almost covered the spread!

[–]Packersmagic_is_might 40 points41 points ago

So close

[–]ChargersTheRisingTide 41 points42 points ago

almost covered the spread


[–]BillsMoruitelda 6 points7 points ago

That's what happens when you bet against your team.

My sin last week was picking the Bills to win. Something about how the inept Jets offense and their benchwarmer RT were going to get crushed under a pile of Mario.

I had not been informed that he loses the ability to pass rush if somebody pats him on the face.

[–]Patriotsplasmalaser1 20 points21 points ago

I lost it at His gigantic dong flopped out of his uniform.

[–]TitansAdamReust 23 points24 points ago

This. Fucking. Rules

[–]ColtsIndianaCostanza 20 points21 points ago

It's like a car wreck... you know it's coming, but you can't look away.

[–]Redskinsrodsarethrown 19 points20 points ago

you know it's coming

yeah you do

[–]BroncosEngineer_daddy91 41 points42 points ago

I read it all, I don't know why but I did. Fuck you OP.

[–]Giantsvonkham 73 points74 points ago

My brain feels a little violated after that

[–]BroncosRaktoner 16 points17 points ago

Is it bad that I read it laughing the whole way?

[–]49ersParrallax91 15 points16 points ago

We like to have fun here?

[–]PatriotsTheWorstFish 16 points17 points ago

God damnit boner, go away

[–]PackersDropkickMikey22 34 points35 points ago

I feel like someone should start an /r/eroticnfl subreddit

[–]Eagleswhiskeyonsunday 52 points53 points ago

I do need an outlet for all my Cam Newton feelings.

[–]PackersDropkickMikey22 52 points53 points ago

Wham Bam Thank You Cam

[–]RommMittney 42 points43 points ago

Just submitted to /r/bestof: /r/NFL goes for gay fan fiction

edit: the bestof bot didn't like that url, so I tried it using slowmotionjones's submission, which was approved.

Here's the new /r/bestof link: The macho guys of /r/NFL go for gay fan fiction in a big way

[–]Cardinalsbeer30 14 points15 points ago

As he approached his car, a small hand wrapped around his mouth

FTFY. You really missed an opportunity with that one.

[–]PatriotsEClarkee 12 points13 points ago

This is the best-worst thing I've ever read in /r/NFL.

Terribly funny man.

[–]Patriotsspecs90 14 points15 points ago

I'd like to hear Chris Kluwe weigh in on this

[–]Patriotsbenk4 12 points13 points ago

Can we get a sequel? I'll be eagerly awaiting it...

[–]GiantsMADBARZ 12 points13 points ago

There have been so many wagers on this subreddit, but this is by far the best and funniest one yet.

It's gonna be a great season guys.

[–]49ersclippjoint 9 points10 points ago

What the FUCK !? ಠ_ಠ

[–]Packersbigweiner 43 points44 points ago

I'm proud to say I don't have a boner.

[–]RavensDungrove_Elder 44 points45 points ago

Get viagra and stop jerking off to porn so much you pansy

[–]Packersbigweiner 31 points32 points ago

I was kind of confused at first when I saw this in my inbox.

[–]49ersBaconOverKarma 10 points11 points ago

/sp/ is that way -->

[–]Redskinszipzap21 9 points10 points ago

Ok fuck that, I can't believe I just did that.

Y'all buying that?

[–]PanthersBoazGriffin 20 points21 points ago

[–]SteelersOrcatype 82 points83 points ago


[–]CraftyAitrus 15 points16 points ago

Finally! NFL fan fiction I can get behind!

[–]Redskinsmidgetsj 8 points9 points ago

Every paragraph I wanted to stop, but I couldn't.

[–]ChargersSpeakerCity310 8 points9 points ago

This kind of stuff gets posted over at /sp/ all the time, usually with even better puns and double entendres.

Posting sports related erotica along with this picture of Levar Burton is a treasured past time.

[–]DolphinsArmed_To_The_Teets 7 points8 points ago

Gives a new meaning to backfield penetration