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1UP COVER STORY | WEEK OF SEPTEMBER 4 | FINAL FANTASY VII'S QUINCEAÑERA
Five Things We Won't See in the Final Fantasy VII Remake
Cover Story: Even if Square Enix updates FFVII, we'll never see its weirder, wackier moments.
W
hat's the biggest cocktease in gaming? Probably Half-Life 3. But the second biggest would be Square Enix's constant, coy mentions of a Final Fantasy VII remake. They know fans want it; they cheerfully fan the flames with things like the FFVII "White Engine" demo from E3 2005; they make constant leading comments about it. And yet... they never deliver.
Maybe they will, someday; maybe they won't. Yet should that long-awaited remake arrive, one thing we can be certain of is that it won't be a straightforward up-rezzing of the original PlayStation game. Have you played FFVII lately? It's quite, shall we say, inconsistent. A mish-mash of different art styles, narrative techniques, and some downright weirdness make FFVII a tough game to reinterpret with contemporary tech. For every moment that would translate perfectly to HD -- like the oh-so-iconic introduction Square used for its White Engine demo -- there's one that is better left buried. And that's not to mention all those parts that just come across as awkward all on their own steam.
We'd love to see a Final Fantasy remake as much as the next guy, but you can be sure the following elements won't make the cut when Square Enix finally bites the bullet and gives fans the HD FFVII they've been demanding. For better or for worse, they just don't fit the nature of the series and the medium these days.
Straight-Up Acts of Terrorism by the Protagonists
Cloud Strife, Barrett Wallace, Tifa Lockheart: True heroes all, right? They save the world's life energy from the depredations of the Shinra corporation, stop the mad Sephiroth from smashing a meteor into the planet, and beat down a few thousand marauding monsters of varying threat levels. How noble! Sure... except for the fact that in the very beginning, the Avalanche organization for which they work is a collective of terrorists, pure and simple. Cloud and company begin the game by infiltrating a power planet, fighting through a corps of guards, and blowing up a reactor that powers a huge portion of the city of Midgar, killing who knows how many people in the process.
Maybe that flew back in 1997, but it's hard to imagine Square having the courage to present its protagonists in such a negative light these days. The world has grown considerably more sensitive to terrorists in the wake not only of the September 11 attacks but the numerous other terrorists actions that have spread across the globe in the past decade. On some level, FFVII's story felt like something of a reaction to the 1995 sarin gas attacks in the Tokyo metro system perpetrated by the Aum Shinrikyo cult, but our cultural gatekeepers have grown overly sensitive in the past 15 years. Look at all the games that were cancelled or delayed in the wake of last year's devastating Tohoku earthquake. Timidity and forced sensitivity rule the media today, which makes it hard to imagine Cloud and Barrett nuking a reactor in HD.
Those Stupid Minigames
Final Fantasy V featured a few special events sequences -- the escape from Karnak, the battle on the Big Bridge, etc. -- that stood apart from the game's standard mechanics. Its sequel, FFVI, took that concept a step further with its unique group battles (e.g., the defense of Narshe) and the opera sequence. FFVII took a leap beyond that by offering some of gaming's first standalone minigames. While Super Mario RPG probably has a claim to being the first RPG to properly incorporate minigames, FFVII featured more of them, and a greater variety to boot.
But here's the thing: They weren't very fun. The Gold Saucer events were fairly reasonable, seeing that while they weren't much good they at least were optional. But the rest -- be it defending a mountain with toy soldiers or interminably performing CPR on a drowning child long after she should have been brain-dead -- felt intrusive and out of place. Nothing says "tonal dissonance" like boogie-boarding down a mountain and collecting balloons shortly after your hot date gets impaled with a sword the length of a flatbed truck by an insane villain. Thankfully, Square has increasingly moved away from fully integrated minigames in the Final Fantasy series and largely reserves those events for the sidelines. Sahz's Final Fantasy XIII-2 sidestory sucked, but hey: It was DLC. And with any luck, that would be the case for FFVII's lamest moments. Like grinding your way through dozens of tedious chocobo races in order to win the Knights of the Round Materia.
Weird Stuff
If you go back and replay FFVII with a more mature eye than you had back in 1997, you'll realize that the game can be downright weird at times. Remember that part where Barrett (the huge, angry dude with a gun for a hand) dressed up in a sailor suit while the feline Red XIII wobbled about the deck of a ship on two feet? Remember that couple that inexplicably passed out at the train station after spouting what appeared to be random innuendo? Or how about the part where Cloud started talking to the player before looking up to the on-screen cursor and sputtering, "What the hell? Finger?"
That stuff was pretty strange, right? Much too weird to fly in a modern Final Fantasy game. Let's face it: Square takes itself a lot more seriously these days. There may have been some parts in FFXIII that you laughed at, but the humor wasn't deliberate. Somehow Square Enix wrote a 60-hour game without a single real joke to be found. Have you slogged your way through any of the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII material, like Dirge of Cerberus or Advent Children? Grim, joyless stuff. There's no room for humor in Square's revisionist version of Final Fantasy VII, so you can forget all about Cloud breaking the fourth wall or going on an awkward man-date with Barrett. FFVII is serious business.
A Nuanced, Interesting Cloud Strife
And no one in Final Fantasy VII is more serious than Cloud Strife. At least, that's what all the post-release content tells me. Cloud is the definitive solemn hero, weighed down by the oh-so-grim reality of his own existence. Watch him stumble sadly through Crisis Core! See him mope his way through another fight with Sephiroth in Advent Children! See him proclaim meaningfully in Dissidia! Cloud doesn't fool around.
Except those supplemental projects kind of miss the entire point of Cloud Strife and focus on a hyper-limited slice of his actual personality. In FFVII, Cloud starts out as a cocky, sarcastic jerk; in time, he begins to lose sight of his own self and literally begs his enemies to give him purpose; and eventually, he comes to terms with his own true past (he was a small-town boy who didn't make the cut to become an elite warrior and adopted the persona of his friend and hero a little too well) and finally makes peace with himself and his friends. Cloud's is a broad, complex tale, and his personality is too subtle to easily describe with a single generalization. Nevertheless, that's precisely what every official take on the character has done since FFVII: Reduce him to a sulky child. In Advent Children, Square Enix actually rolled back all of the character development he experienced in the course of FFVII and reverted him to a bland caricature of his initial self.
It's not hard to imagine that this would be the extent of Cloud's characterization in a remake of FFVII, too. For whatever reason, Square seems to have decided that the best way to present Cloud is to make him this ultra-emo man child. The problem is, that's not why everyone liked him! We liked him because he was a hero with a hard edge, a no-nonsense fighter with a pragmatic personality and yet a keen sense of humor, too. Yet you never see Cloud presented that way in FFVII's spin-offs and sequels. And, one suspects, we probably wouldn't see him that way in a new version of FFVII, either.
The Honeybee Manor
Midway through the Midgar sequence of the game, Cloud sees his childhood friend Tifa in a strange outfit riding a cart to what basically amounts to a sex dungeon: The Honeybee Manor. Red flag! Would Square Enix really include a sex dungeon in a Final Fantasy VII remake? Probably not.
But let's say they did. The problem with the Honeybee Manor is that Cloud can only get in if he goes in disguise as a woman. And the process of earning that disguise involves buying mysterious medical supplies for a man in a sleazy hotel, doing push-ups for a strange muscleman who keeps a woman's wig in his briefs, and other unsavory acts. Red flag!
And once you're inside, Cloud gets ogled by other dudes. And, should you play the cards right, he gets to splash around in a hot tub with a bunch of muscular guys, passes out, and wakes up in inky blackness, exclaiming about strange sensations. Red. Flag.
Eventually, Cloud meets up with both Aeris and Tifa, both of whom narrowly escape from molestation. They go after the don of the slums, Don Corneo, a fat dude who makes humping motions until they threaten to mutilate his genitals.
In short, the Honeybee Manor constitutes a 30-minute sequence that would go over like a fart in church these days. But that's just as well. Do you really want to see a weightlifter pull a wig out of his underwear and stick it on Cloud's head in full HD? There's a word to describe that image, and that word is, "Barf."
1UP Editor-in-Chief Jeremy Parish would kind of like for them to keep most of this stuff if only they'd get rid of Cait Sith, who was to Jar-Jar Binks as the Silver Surfer is to Galactus.
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Comments (119)
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Wouldn't want that remake now.
Posted: userComment.createdDate by AmyRenee
Despite only offering five reasons, I have to applaud this article for bringing to light how the proposed changes from these moments are truly indicative of a change of attitude at Square-Enix. Almost everything from Final Fantasy X onward has been of utmost seriousness when it comes to the numbered entries, while they seem to save the joking lighter stuff for spinoffs and handheld games. Remaking a game with a reputation as epic as Final Fantasy VII's invites very critical eyes, and sometimes I have to wonder if that's why SE has never quite picked up the gauntlet we so constantly throw down. With the hypothetical scenarios this article presents, with the combined reality of just how seriously SE takes itself these days... I think I'd rather just stick to playing the original and forgo a remake entirely. All these little oddball moments are what completed the package to an incredible game.
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iudhliahdijo;sihf;oihaf;oihv;zos
Posted: userComment.createdDate by Megafayce
after reading this, I'm glad they haven't remade it. It's not that the game couldn't exist without the sillyness of Barrett in a sailor's costume or the absurdness of the Gold Saucer's haunted house and hangman meet-and-greet receptionist; it could easily survive not having these things, albeit, reluctantly. But I'm glad plainly because of how Square has treated Cloud as a character ever since, in it's sequels which has kindly been pointed out by the author here. Hell, if cloud did manage to emulate his buddy's personality in FFVII after his death, Square has gone a long way to distance Cloud from Zack since then. I can imagine it being distressing to be an emo whinebag pretending to be a happy-go-lucky fun guy. But the contrast is just too much to bear. Now I wouldn't be able to visualise in my mind's eye a well rendered HD Cloud being all cocky and confident as a result of this "undoing" of Cloud's character by Square ever since the original. It seems they've done everything to try a make Cloud more like Squall and Lightning. Too... blah!
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Very fun Jeremy!
Posted: userComment.createdDate by smokeyflea
Square can't recapture FFVII's greatness because of who they are now, and what they do.
Characters as devoid of real personalities as a dead hagfish, with the sterile look of the marriage between modern anime and clothing models.
Buh.
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This game should not me remade.
Posted: userComment.createdDate by Brolific
Why do people want to see something so precious ruined just for a new coat of paint? What Final Fantsy 7 is can never be replicated faithfully (as proven by this article), and things that would have to be changed or left out cannot be redeemed by pretty graphics. Especially since Square-Enix's current FF games are all flash and no substance. There's just no way to remake this game and still give it the justice it deserves. I just replayed this game for probably the 10th time and it's still just as enjoyable now as it was when I first played it. Save remakes for games with severe flaws.
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I'm sure there's a way
Posted: userComment.createdDate by Question_Mark
I expect they would chop or remake certain aspects entirely differently (like the cursor), but find it hard to believe that the reactor and side story sequences would be omitted or replaced. These light hearted scenes, such as Palmer at Rocket Town and his drinking preferences and traffic aversion skills (or lack thereof) added a youthful quirkiness to an otherwise mature theme.
If a game is too sensitive then give it an 18 certificate, rather than deem it inappropriate for existence. If it was too insensitive for any individual then that individual has the right not to play it.
It's a large game and this kind of discussion would have to be taken seriously at length by Square Enix, and who knows countless more besides, which could be why there's ambiguity from Square Enix over a remake.
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Weird stuff...
Posted: userComment.createdDate by JohnnyTruant420
Final Fantasy VII has a lot of perverse nuance that, if left out, would ruin the experiance. It would be like playing a Metal Gear game without hidden pics of young jap models. It just wouldn't be right without the signature Japanese perversity.
2nd point (in reverse order) yes AVALANCHE are terrorists and if a remake is ever actually put in to reality I believe that the distinction between TERRORIST and FREEDOM FIGHTER is more important today than it ever was. In the begining Cloud is a mercenary without morals interested in nothing but Gil. It is one of the most important aspects of his character. His transformation from souless mercenary to reluctant hero is one of the many great parts of FFVII that helps draw you in to the false, unnamed world. So yes Cloud and Barret need to "nuke the reactor in HD".
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the number one thing you won't see in a FF7 remake is...
Posted: userComment.createdDate by kittenkilla
a FF7 remake.
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Wow...
Posted: userComment.createdDate by GenesisDoes
I mean, jeez. People take their Final Fantasy 7 really serious round here. XD
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Ha ha, gay men and crossdressers are funny!
Posted: userComment.createdDate by woekitten
It's still kind of weird to look back at old magazine previews that gushed about how "mature" FF VII was. Ironically, said mature moments now stand out as incredibly juvenile. Cloud cross-dresses, the Don is intent on raping him, Tifa and Aeris are handed off to the Don's thugs, and it's all played off as one of the more humourous moments in the game. Ha ha, oh dear.
I still think FF VII is a wonderful game, but I've been re-experiencing it via a playthrough, and moments like that admittedly make me cringe--though I guess I thought it was the pinnacle of games writing when I was 17.
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I am still waiting....
Posted: userComment.createdDate by JxNamelesss
....for the FF 7 remake (in graphics)....
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Jaded...
Posted: userComment.createdDate by JadedHero
So you're telling me that this game is 15 years old now? Thanks for reminding me that I'm only getting older... I just figured that after 15 years they'd run out of stuff to write about FFVII. Good game, definitely among my favorite but this entire special fun bag of articles is just another drop kick on a dead horse.
p.s. Squaresoft died a slow painful death after merging with Enix. KH gave me hope but how long does it take to make KH3? and I was looking forward to Versus XIII of the same "build."
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'weird stuff'???
Posted: userComment.createdDate by catgirl147
Oh yes. That stuff'll definitely stay. This is FF7, after all, and what would that game be without random weird stuff.
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secret characters
Posted: userComment.createdDate by DavdaKeiff
I think the eventual remake would find a way to throw Yuffie and Vincent at you, instead of making them optional characters. Also, I think they would either make the Wutai sidequest a mandatory event, or cut that whole part of the game altogether.
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The US Education Department
Posted: userComment.createdDate by DipDopson
needs to see the comments section for this article. At the very least it exposes the failings of our education system so starkly, maybe in the future people will learn about reading comprehension.
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What's the Point?
Posted: userComment.createdDate by MidgarSyrup
Is it even still FF VII after all these proposed cuts? No, it isn't. This censored, politically correct version of the game would ammount to a fickle corporate shel, where there once stood a proud icon of gaming.
The biggest thing missing from this article was this: one thing they certainly won't have in the remake is the same aesthetic style. It will look completely different, and lets be honest, the materia system would probably get monkeyed with as well.
Ultimately I'm saying this: a remake of FF VII would be so different from the original, why not just call it something else? The answer is that Square Enix are now short on ideas, and lost too much money from the FF XIV abortion to ever do something as risky/ innovative as FF VII again. So for goodness sake, give up the ghost!
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correction:
Posted: userComment.createdDate by jackelbeaver
Do you really want to see a weightlifter pull a wig out of his underwear and stick it on Cloud's head in full HD? There's a word to describe that image, and that word is, "Yes."
:p
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Wow. These comments.
Posted: userComment.createdDate by Shino-Bot
People really do lack critical reading skills, don't they?
You're pretty much spot-on here. Square's idea of what Final Fantasy is has changed to the point that if FFVII was made for the first time this year , none of the things mentioned wouldn't exist. Probably more, too; I can imagine Cait Sith being cut out entirely. Not that that's a bad thing, mind.
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Remake: Yes, but leave it as is.
Posted: userComment.createdDate by CloudStrife_ca
I'm all for a remake, I'd love to see one but despite being a huge fan of the game, I'm starting to lose hope a remake will be made, it certainly won't happen this generation now.I'm still crossing my fingers tho, I do wanna see all the "red flag" moments relived in HD. Sure it will be awkward for designers to remake, it will probably be awkward for players to replay/ relive those moments with a more mature outlook since 1997, but its everything that made the game what it was. You wouldn't go back and change Webster or Different Strokes because that type of show just wouldn't fly these days... they were what they were which was great at the time.I want to ride that rollercoaster again in HD, EXACTLY the way it was with updated visuals, voice overs, updated music and AT MOST a few new additional side quests. Leave the battle system and materia system as is, for me both systems were the "meat & potatoes" of which I compared all my future RPG experiences too going forward.After 15 years, as we speak I am currently working on a playthrough of FFVII on the Vita and for now I can still survive without a remake, although I'll probably fly out my front door to pre-order it.
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I think you struck oil on a big picture regarding Old vs. New FF's Jeremy
Posted: userComment.createdDate by Kokoru
Final Fantasy USED to be fun! I had almost completely forgotten that there were silly moments like this in Final Fantasy VII, and I do remember little inside jokes by Ultros in Final Fantasy VI. Those things seemed to melt away starting with Final Fantasy VIII. IX tried to bring back the light-heartedness, but I don't think it went over to well with fans, and so X went back to "trying" to take itself seriously...
XI is basically crack-cocaine for those who let it get to them (I did for 6 years), and XII is amazing in my opinion but it did lack that charm of the older Final Fantasies. I think what you touched on is SO important and often goes undermined and rarely spoken of.
Final Fantasy of the past made it's self a house-hold name because it did have epic, serious, "adult" moments, but it also knew how to have fun, make fun of itself, and generally do goofey things without apologizing for it...
I think if Sqaureenix wants to recover the Final Fantasy name from shame, they should start by doing the next numbered installment with the old mantra. Have cool/epic characters and story, but don't be afraid to remember it is a game and can be silly or not make so much sense at times. I'd really appreciate a new FF that brings it back to the glory days!
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I've never thought about it before,
Posted: userComment.createdDate by Dr_Corndog
but you're probably right on all points. At least most of them. And in some cases, that'd be a good thing. I'd love to see most of the minigames and sidequests revamped (they honestly weren't very fun in their own right).
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it's harder than one thinks
Posted: userComment.createdDate by kingsharkboi
to remake something like FFVII, at least in what we assume is graphics and engine akin to what we have been seeing in Advent Children, the tech demo, etc. That's what I would expect the route Squareenix would take if they were to ever do this, and then they'd run into little problems.
For example, just look at the 4th picture in the article. Look at that CG cloud and then can you imagine him (along with the hyper-realistic Tifa and Aerith model) and his voiceover telling someone that they'll rip/cut/smash his genitals? Can you imagine Red XIII standing on 2 feet in a sailor clothes? Even in Advent Children with all its detail, they refrained from having Caith Sith and Red XIII talk save for a couple short lines. It was kinda wierd just seeing a dog thing speak 1 lline at the end of AC. Maybe I'm just nitpicking, but you can tell where Squareenix finds the disparities between realistic motion capture and voice acting, as opposed to retro simplified blocky dudes with text boxes. It's possible, but it'll be hard to make everything work smoothly. Unless they go the Wind Waker route and remake the game with completely unexpected cartoonish graphics (which would anger people all over)
Also, just look at FFVI. For all the dark, dramatic moments one remembers from that game, the characters still flap their arms up and down after each life-threatening battle they win. That wouldn't have worked in FFVII, where they made the heroes just kinda pose in different ways. It's little things like this where the times have changed. Whether or not you don't care about editing stuff, Square most likely would.
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Let it ride
Posted: userComment.createdDate by skeleroar
VII was/is touching,a good time with good mechanics and damn goofy. That last part lifts it into the extraordinary. It blew my mind for a game to have so much in the way of tangled angles. The cutesy character renders going through the heavier parts of the story was a delicious contrast. I say bring back the whimsy full force. What's beauty without a touch of the bizzare?
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Good (and true) article
Posted: userComment.createdDate by Naphtali
A Square-enix remake of this Squaresoft game would indeed be grim and joyless. Even if they tried to incorperate some of the wierdness, it would be a blunt, literal interpretation lacking any self-awareness.
The worst part, imo, is how they would most assuredly reduce it's themes and characters to, what did you call it, bland caricatures; hyper-limited slices of their acual personalites? I love your distillation here. This has me the most worried about any possible remake they'd do.
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Sort of Wild Speculation
Posted: userComment.createdDate by CuteIgor2
Squeenix has a seamless track record of not altering a whole lot in their "Final Fantasy" remakes, out of fear of inciting purists. I doubt we'd see any of this material omitted from a "Final Fantasy VII" remake. Not that any of it should be considered controversial in the least.
The world has largely moved on from 9/11 (the upcoming "Metal Gear Solid" game is titled "Ground Zeroes" for Christ's sake!), and homoerotica/sex is more accepted in videogames and other media than ever before.
The English translation'll be overhauled and some of the murkier plot elements may be explained in better detail; Maybe a handful of some of the tackier minigames'll be removed. Other than that, I doubt an "Final Fantasy VII" remake would have anything cut from the original.
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More podcasts, Parish.
Posted: userComment.createdDate by yesiamaplant
Clearly a great deal of the posters don't read anymore, so you may as well do it all in audio.
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there's a lot about
Posted: userComment.createdDate by Dub_Z
FF7 that would have to be streamlined, trimmed, and reworked into something great for today... what Midgar alone could be today would be like designing a hundred Megaton's... then to populate it with history, context, freedom, economy, people, places, logic and gameflow... nevermind a world - so much of FF7 would be filler and baggage to replicate when it could be so much more as a very spirited, tapered reimagining imo... would be quite the undertaking. the average fan just wants the same game running on Unreal, same funnels and restrictions, same limited view, same barren continents... and that would be such a waste, and such a mistake to me.
humor isn't something i'd want to lose... a mature take on prostitution in the slums with black comedy can work. a homoerotic thug can work too, just look at The Sitter. but you're right... cloud is too serious for that now, and many people are too. with the way the western world is today, i think they'd be hesitant to tell a powerful rebel story with a much more potent dose anyway... not for something that's seeking an international release anyway.
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Realy?! WTF!
Posted: userComment.createdDate by evildog13
Pretty much every single thing here that Mr Parish takes aim at were some of the most memorable parts of the game. The fact that it did not take its self too seriously was half of the charm. So was Avalanch really an ecco terror group or rebels sticking it to the man? Thats strictly perspective. I used to like the Lethal Weapon movies when I was a kid. Last time I watched one as an adult I was like " those are some dirty ass pigs". Its all about your angle. Watch the subtitled Dragon Ball and DBZ and the sexual innuindo and perversion come right out the woodwork. Bulma's name is a reference to panties. The point is if they are going to remake it the only thing that should be changed is to enhance the graphics and sound. Leave the rest alone. The only taboo change I would like to see is the option to save Aeris ( they would have to make it a serious challenge to pull off) with an alternate ending. But even that might rub some folks the wrong way.
And to compare Cait Sith to Jar Jar Binks is just insulting.
Basically I totally disagree with this article on every level.
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That's the point
Posted: 09/07/2012 by KocoboLobo
that he is trying to make. That the game had a pretty good sense of humor and was pretty grimey at times and that Square Enix probably wouldn't let any of that stuff fly these days. I'm pretty sure Jeremy liked all the parts he mentioned in this article (okay, maybe he didn't 'like' the Don Corneo stuff, but I'm sure he realizes that it gave the game some depth and found it interesting) it's just that he knows the modern Square Enix takes itself (too) seriously and wouldn't allow it.
I hope he's wrong and I'm sure he hopes he's wrong too, but it might not be the case.
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I don't think that you get the point
Posted: 09/07/2012 by LPHero55
First of all, Cait Sith was an annoying character. The only meaningful thing he did in the game was to sacrifice himself, An act that was quickly negated seconds later when ANOTHER cait Sith showed up.
Yes, every memorable thing about the game was odd and potentially fodder for groups out there who make it their mission to 'Think about the children'. Do you even see the hot bed of contention that being gay is these days? and to expect that the cross-dressing antics of Cloud would just fly? Nope. We'll get mothers and fathers and other misguided fools tearing their way into something that they have no knowledge of.
Have you even played the same game I did? Because in the begining of FF7, the group Avalanche is clearly a group of terrorists. In fact, if you ask the Taliban (if you survive that long), they will tell you that they are not terrorists. They are heroes fighting for what's right. They clearly blow up buildings with innocent people inside of them. They clearly make false identification so that they can get into sensetive areas and blow them up. They make bombs. The terroritst responsible for any terrorist attack will tell you that they did nothing wrong. They were doing what was right. As if killing innocents is ever right. So, there's you're 'point of view' argument thrown out the window.
I have watched the subtitled DBZ and have seen all the innuendo that goes flying by. It's hilarious! But for some reason, America is scared of sex. Americans think sex will ruin their children. Not all Americans, this is a generalized statement, here. But when I worked @ Gamestop, it would tell people: This game is Mature beacuse of blood and gore, intense violence, strong language, and sexual content. Their response is: No boobies, right? and i'd reply, there's some innuendo, cutting off of heads, chopping people in half, and the f-bomb dropped every other scene. And they'ed reply: but no sex, right? I make them play that other stuff on mute.
Do you see what is wrong there? So you can imagine that a 'sex dungeon' isn't going to go very far these days.
Look, I agree that the only things I want changed are the graphics and sound. I don't want to be able to resurrect Aeris because that kinda ruins the galvanizing purpose your group has to stop Sephiroth. Sure, you want to save the world, but now, it's personal! Perhaps a new game plus option... But I can certainly see the points the author makes here. And you must be blind to the world if you can't even see the truth behind the inspiration for this article. Or, perhaps you are just very young. In that case, you have much to learn about the world and the idiots that inhabit it.
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LPHero55
Posted: 09/09/2012 by evildog13
So the terrorist thing can be touchy for the post 911 atmospere, but there were acts of terrorism commited here and abroad long before 911. This did not stir people up in 97 which was only a few years after Oklahoma City. And it realy is about perspective. I'm sure the founding fathers were looked at by Britain as terrorsist. There have been many oppressed groups in American history who stood up against the government and industrialists and were labled insurectionists and communists. They fought and they died for everything from workers rights to civils rights. To compare them to Islamic fundimentalists is a slap in the face to those who were willing to fight and sacrifice for the so called dream that America promised.
Justifying violence is always hard to do , but as for the plot of FF7 AVALANCHE are trying to save the planet a slow death from an evil corporation with world domination as their goal. They are literaly sucking the life force out of the planet.
Let us also keep in mind this is just a story, fiction. If its about being offensive to some people, I thought "Resevoir Dogs" was a moraly depraved disturbing mess, Yet a lot of people love that movie. I don't like it , so I don't watch it. If you have a problem with these essential elements of FF7, then don't play it.
I'm not young or naive about the world, but I understand that this is art and it is what it is take it or leave it.
The one thing that I do agree with you on is how american society has no qualms about our youth being exposed to extreme violence, but got forbid they see anything sexual. I blame that on religion but I'll leave it at that.
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Aw...
Posted: userComment.createdDate by SinewySimian
With the exception of the mini-games, the idea of a remake stripped of the elements you mention makes me kind of sad. You're so right about Square just retconning FFVII's wry, sometimes goofy sense of humor out of existence. What is that about? Could these really be the same folks who, just two games later, gave us one of the finest comedic moments in the series--the wedding of Vivi and Quina?
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That's the thing
Posted: 09/07/2012 by kingsharkboi
i really don't think they are the same people. Ok maybe a few members, but those are probably in the lower creative positions, i dunno. I havent looked up the staff and I don't plan to, but yea... Sakaguchi is gone dude. Sucks.
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I know
Posted: 09/07/2012 by SinewySimian
I was half joking. But not about it being one of the series's finest moments. :)
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not terrorism
Posted: userComment.createdDate by yuri_ha
you forgot to mention the most important fact about the motivations of Avalanche (the "terrorist" group), that motivation is one of the raisons d'etre of the game.
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Are you blind?
Posted: 09/08/2012 by LPHero55
I dare you to ask any terrorist if they think themselves a terrorist. You will get ferverent 'no's and probably a shiv in your neck. They believe in what they do, they believe they are right. The innocents who died, who were in the line of fire, were merely cattle deserving, begging to be slaughtered. Yeah, not terrorism. tell that to the victims of the gassing incident in tokyo. tell that to the families who lost people on 9/11. See how many slaps in the face you'll get. If there was a failing in FF7, it was them failing to show the reprecussions of their actions in the begining of the game.
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play the game, they were stopping the Mako Corporation
Posted: 09/10/2012 by yuri_ha
Al-Qaeda are not the only terrorist group out there, there are of ANY religion : christians, catholics, lutherans, protestants, taoist, etc, etc. The same with political currents (often mixed with religion).
The Oklahoma City bombing was perpetrated by U.S. citizens ; Timothy McVeigh, Michael Fortier and Terry Nichols.
Ted Kaczynski was a mathematician and also an U.S. citizen.
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well, I can guarantee we won't see these things
Posted: userComment.createdDate by colinmccarthy16
because they're never going to do the remake anyway. Square apparently can't even figure out how to do the FFX HD remake, and that's a piece of cake compared to remaking VII.
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Well that sucks..
Posted: userComment.createdDate by demon-gamer
Since I don't have much time since I decided to get some food to take my mind off of what I just read I will say this. If you're a fan of the original story and prefer the canon version to an overly sensitive one (in short a true fan). You will by the remastered just for up to date visuals and audio. If they plan on taking it further from there afterwards then they'll have the options to do as they please with other characters but give the fans what they want a fight scene from FFVII that will blow my mind on my HDTV all the while saying "this is even better playing the second time around".
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Failed Writer
Posted: userComment.createdDate by TanaPanda
This is his attempt to make himself seems smart but he is not. After reading this article I had to wonder to myself if he comes from the Mormon controlled state of Utah where these statement would probably hold true due to the unaccepting nature of the state. But then i was like no this is just some dumbass writing what he feels is good stuff.
Maybe if he was raised in a cave, and never got to play video games...... this would hold true. But then why is he writing an article on one? So that cant be the case.
Hmmm maybe he is just sooo far out of the loop that he doesnt know about a few very popular games. God of War..... hmmmm fun little sex side quest to get bonus exp.... more importantly maybe he has never heard of or played Grand Theft Auto.... I mean in that game you are actively murdering people! and sometimes you are doing it just becasue you fucking want to! but hey he is right we should break out our bibles and remake Final Fantasy VII only using elements that are E rated. This would in turn make everything he has said so far valid. But i dont think and AMAZING company like SquareEnix would do something so fucking stupid.
I'm pretty sure that 95% of people that would buy the re-make have already played the first one so I dont see how putting the same fucking content in HD makes a difference.
I petition that this writer is fired for sucking ass. please reply to my post and put a digital signature if you would also like to see this person held accountable for wasting our time reading his bullshit about a game that we all fucking want!!!!!
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Harsh
Posted: 09/07/2012 by Meinherjar
I think that's a bit too harsh TanaPanda. The problem with this article is that we simply don't know what route Square would take in a remake, none of us. All we can do is speculate and while I don't agree with everything he wrote here, I think it should have been titled "What we may not see in a FF7 remake". Some parts like the "Stupid Mini Games" section sound forceful for no reason and it just comes off as projection of his personal feelings as though he's certain the overall sentiment of the FF7 fan community generally agrees with his feelings and that's not true.
Other parts such as the humor concerning the Honey Bee Mansion I disagree with since I know a lot of gamers personally who found that funny and to me cutting that would simply be watering down the japanese humor for certain western gamers who may not be open to it but you have to remember all of this went over well during the time of it's release and far after it's release. The digital copy on PSN, the enhanced PC remake- There are plenty of gamers rebuying that game today to relieve those glory days and gamers buying it for the first time to see what all the fuss is about and I see them in real life and see them on the net gushing about how much they love the game so all that quirkyness IS still going over well even today so seeing it in HD doesn't seem like a huge deal to me at all.
With that being said even today with gamers clearly still open and overwhelmingly accepting of the more eccentric aspects of the game, Jeremy Parish may be right in his assumption that they will tone down aspects or outright remove sections of this nature. I hope they don't but it's more than plausible they may.
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One more thing
Posted: 09/07/2012 by Meinherjar
I just noticed the quip by your picture about Cait Sith. Something that would be interesting in a remake is if a situation arises that at a certain point or maybe in a sidequest you could replace him with Reeve. I know they would not go down that route but it'd be interesting to see him as playable directly.
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Seriously?
Posted: 09/08/2012 by LPHero55
Square Enix is obviously not the same company they were when FF7 came out. And parental groups and other people who make it their bussiness to poke their nose into other peoples bussiness abound more and more each day. I can see what he writes about coming true. I don't want it to happen, but I can certainly see it. It has nothing to do with the bible, it's just a bunch of other people all feverently crying out: Won't somebody please think of the children!' Look at Tom and Jerry, the original cartoons. That stuff does not fly today. And some stuff in FF7 i can see not passing the muster this day and age.
And, really, to call him a failed writer? Why? Because he has a different opinion? Grow up. If he's a failed writer, why is he paid to write articles and you aren't? Clearly, it's because he can place his thoughts in a clear and concise manner.
In fact, you are the person who seems to be raised in a cave. with your beastly manners and horrible punctuation. This man has a different opinion! I must blast him with negativity so that I seem smart by comparison! and off you go pounding away at your keyboard...
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Whatevs
Posted: 09/08/2012 by TanaPanda
Why would you focus on such small trivial things such as the act of terrorism in the game? Why don't we focus on the fact that Sephiroth is a physical minifestation of the Tree of Life in the Kabbalah religion. His character depicts the Tree of Life perfectly, placing him at the top or as Keter. He feels that all of life should flow and be controlled by him thus he enters the lifestream and absorbs it. But instead we look at the fact that a video game puts our hero in a dress, and that in the beginning we blow up a reactor and kill innocents. The game was amazingly done and to change anything would be like slapping the creators of it in the face. But hey your right lets look at these very noticable things and ignore the more offending undertones of the game. Sexuality,Religion,Race. But whatever. All I know is this article depicts probably one of the biggest mistakes that Square could ever make. Just because subjects are touchy doesnt mean they need to be cut. Once again i go back to God of War and Grand Theft Auto.... If these two games have shown us anything its that people WANT to exit real life and play a game that is not afraid to push the boundaries of its universe. Because Ultimately we all turn our consoles off and re-enter the real world which sometimes can suck.
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Are you the authority on what "people want" TanaPanda?
Posted: 09/08/2012 by Kokoru
You know generalizations usually make for a horrible way of getting your point across... You could have said "some people actually enjoyed the sex-mini-game in God of War, and killing people for the f#!* of it" but you made it perfectly clear that ALL people love it... I personally thought it was the most retarded, immature, and least-adult thing done to videogames in forever.
Since when does being an adult mean that we can and should have sex with sluts (I mean if you don't mind STD's and what not), killing random people for nothing, and living out some sort of sick and twisted fantasies about doing other things that we are too afraid to do in real life?
That is the antithesis to maturity, and please don't count me into your "everyone" when you make such broad generalizations. Yes videogames are fantasies, so are movies, but if you make a movie about nothing but sex and violence, you end up with a porno with a cheezy action twist (or spoof)... I'm sorry but I'd MUCH rather watch the Dark Knight (that actually plays with the concept of violence and consequence) than a porn with stuff blowing up...
It's childish, immature, and in my honest opinion it contributes to why so many young men these days are so insecure and can't even talk to a girl in a "normal" way without being hyper embarassed/ashamed about the "fantasy" they are having about her in real time... Most girls can see right through it, and it wasn't until I put away my childish ways that I could actually meet and win my wife over like a man.
So yeah, whether the quirky wierdness makes it into a FF7 remake or not, try to grow up and voice your opinion without insulting others. It will make you look better in the end, and ultimately make you a better person regardless if you want to pull out a Bible or not.
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You are retarted...
Posted: userComment.createdDate by DefenderOfGaming
Wow. That is the most ridiculous set of assumptions I have ever read. Changing any of those would be just idiotic. There is no doubt in my mind that none of what you just said will be left out. I mean... come on! I stopped reading right after you said they won't have the protaginists commit "Acts of Terrorism". So you think revolution is terrorism? Laughable! Also, that would change the whole entire plot if they did not blow up the reactors. This is number one on my list of unfounded arguments on this site.
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Where's number 2?
Posted: 09/08/2012 by LPHero55
Probably being flushed down the toilet. First of all, Revolution starts with what the establishment calls terrorism. Secondly, blowing up a building that no doubt had several innocent people working in it is terrorism. Do you think the secretary was plotting the downfall of the world? How about the janitor? Or the IT guy? Do you think it will make the sting of someone loosing a loved one in that explosion soothed by saying: It was to save the world. I don't think so. You obviously don't understand what terrorism means.
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Agree to Disagree
Posted: userComment.createdDate by Vivid8
While I do agree that a NEW game would not offer any of these things, I disagree that a remake would not. Basically because of purists (like myself) who would be quite upset if the 'remake' were anything but a re-mastering of the visual and audio aspects of the game. To remove anything from the original would be like removing parts of a Picaso painting or from a hollywood classic just because they aren't 'agreeable' or understandable by todays standards. A work of art, be it analog or digital, is still just that. A creative piece that stands on it's own as a creation, hate it or love it, the artist(s) that created the work conveyed their image and intention with that piece. To alter it would be to bastardize what art is supposed to be, un-apologetic. But that's just my five cents.
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those things wouldn't be changed
Posted: userComment.createdDate by avpdav
Right after I was reading, I was thinking the article was just about starting a contraversy, and trying to get more people to visit your site. First the terrorism part. Remember COD MW2? Or MW3? Remember walking through an airport shooting random people? Honestly, it wasn't a big deal. But since it was a semi-realistic situation, people took notice. (Politicians mainly. But they wouldn't care if it took place on another world.) However a small part of a game, where you are part of a totally ficitional terrorist group. In a totally fictional world. Will not make anyone take notice. And aren't you part of a terrorist group in FF13? (It was such a bad game, I can't remember anymore) And I know there are other games where you are part of a "terrorist" group. Plus keep in mind, the definition of who are terrorists, depends on a persons point of view. People believe the US are just a big group of terrorists. Others believe Iranians are terrorists. Some people even think that all white people are terrorists.
Next, The mini games. I don't think they would be removed in any way. There is just no reason to. Plus they keep the player interested in the game, after it starts to get stale. Remember when SF removed teh bonus stages? They brought them back because they realized people actually liked them as much as the main part of the game.
Then, "the wierd stuff" I played the game recently, (The PC version, with enhanced graphics and textures) and while there are some wierd parts. It's nothing too wierd. Look at the characters from FF13 (or any other RPG) They are just as wierd.
Cloud Strife. I don't see why they would change anything about him in a remake. They may have changed his character emotions and actions in other games. But His role in FF7 was perfect. His character fit in perfectly with the FF7 atmosphere, throughout the entire game. If they were to change anything about him, they would need to change the entire game, and even the basic story of the game. Otherwise the game wouldn't seem to make sense.
The Honeybee Manor. Sex can sexual preferance can be a touchy subject for some reason. Again, like the "terrorist" aspect in games. It's not really a big deal. Especially since it's in a fictional setting. I'm sure people will bitch about it on the news, and try to say that videogames are evil... Anyways, as long as there is no full frontal nudity, people don't have much to cry about. (They will still cry, but most people have started to dismiss them anyways.)
In short, they don't have to do much to remake the game. The story, characters, locations, and any other basic starting points are already done. That is usually the hardest part of game development. And the most time consuming. I'm worried, that since the game has already been made before, and all they have to do is copy the current game, and update it (they don't even need to update the battle system or anything like that) a new version will never be released. (that's why people on PC have modded the game to add new textures, and character models. Because most think there will never be a remake)
I think the best way to remake the game, is to use the same format (a 2D background, with 3D character models) and keep everything the way it is. Update the character models (if individuals can do this on their home PCs there's no reason why a big company (who developed the game in the first place) can't do it.) But maybe add voice acting. That might be time consuming, but it wouldn't be too bad. They would need to find voice actors who fit the parts, though.
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Hmm
Posted: userComment.createdDate by Meinherjar
As far as the terrorism goes I don't think that should be removed. I remember an argument and subsequent conversations in game addressed the fact that AVALANCHE was far from innocent in the Shinra conflicts, even alluding to the fact the Mako Reactor Explosion they caused killed many innocent people including Denzel's parents in Advent Children. I guess that brings up a whole new argument though about whether or not video game narratives should disregard touchy subjects or if they should be geniune and truthful to their artistic vision (even if that vison includes uncomfortable subjects) in the way The Stage, Movies, Television and Books do. I personally do because I see them as just as valid as those other forms of media. But yes it's more than plausible the current incarnation of Square may very well take the route you discuss here.
As far as the humour, japanese quirkyness or eccentricness whatever... and the mini games go, once again they may remove them as you speculate but I think it would be a mistake. Based on the fact that you named one section "Those stupid mini games" this appears more as though you are projecting your hope for their removal into a remake rather than an overall sentiment among fans. Most fans who played FF7 when it was released liked the humor, the weirdness and those mini games especially. The vast majority of original fans look back on all of those aspects fondly. I defintely believe they should be updated and made more intuitive and fun by today's standards but to cut them all together seems like a huge mistake. You even gripe about how you had to race chocobos and train them in order to get knights of the round because you only saw it as a means to an end but guess what a lot of fans loved those races in and of themselves not just to get a summon.
All of these aspects are what set FF7 apart in the first place. FF7's mainstream success is still pretty much unrivaled at this point in time. That game was loved by almost everyone and when I say everyone I mean people who had zero interest in RPGS before it came out. Gamers who primarily played Action or Sports games, causal gamers who barely touched their systems it just brought in all people from all different walks of gaming life like no other RPG had before it. I think the humor, the weirdness and those mini games you seem to despise were a huge part of that. It was wackyness that counterblanced the straight forward gameplay and seriousness of the narrative. If you remove it completely all you're left with is level grinding and walking. Hundreds of RPGs did that before 7 and in terms of Mainstream went largely unoticed or gamers simply didn't care.
I agree they should be changed and improved upon. But moments like the snow boarding, Escaping Shinra on the Bike down the highway, pressing aternating buttons to keep frostbite from setting in as you climbed that snowy peak, those were bench mark moments. If Square goes down that path and let's face it they probably will, that remake is going to be bland and far removed from the reason it was so successful in the first place. They should be changed to fit with the more realistic HD tone, like I imagine Cloud's snowboarding segment would look a lot more realistic and sleek as compared to the blocky cloud riding down the mountain on his loudly colored mini board but to scrap everything? If they do there better be some other type of game variety of true substance in it's place but from my perspective it's already there it just needs to be revised for modern day gaming.
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The Honeybee Manor
Posted: userComment.createdDate by Arekusandora
Has GOT to be one of the wierdest things in the game. I've always though if a remake were to be made, those scenes with the hot tub and everything would never make an appearence.
You hit the nail on the head regarding Cloud and his persona on the FF7 spinoffs. They don't make him justice!! To be more realistic, they haven't made any justice to the franchise.
Like you said; Square enix is too somber and grimm these days.
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"since time immemorial"
Posted: userComment.createdDate by BigBadBuu
The story of Final Fantasy VII (and the more recent, XIII series) is realler than many would like to admit. Human actions have consequences. And Nature does respond by awakening "monsters" (aka "heroes"). And said entities have battled, in countless forms, again & again in countless eras: humans recklessly overstep, Terra mercilessly responds, and in the course of time, humans are lead back into the Light.
Make no mistake, these masters of double-talk & punnery are not oblivious to the irony of having an endless series of games titled "Final Fantasy". What they are, perhaps, uncertain of is our (in)ability to appreciate it as a "First True History". Though, on balance, it's clear they reckon that to reach/awaken or warn/guide even a handful will be well worth it, in the days ahead...
In any case, the $$'s *not* the motive: any re-release will in no-way be softened, if anything it will be more direct, as in Advent Children, where (imo) too much was revealed, too directly... ;)
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My favorite side feature in ff7
Posted: userComment.createdDate by BmagicDaBeast
was the fact you could change the menu color scheme for the Menu and Battles. i cant think of many rpgs that let you do that.
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I think you worry to much
Posted: userComment.createdDate by Chukkaque
Lets look at a few things that exist now.
Terrorism:
Any shooter, any COD game.
Honey Bee manor:
In most modern RPGs now you can marry the same sex and even have sex with the same sex. One of the main fighters in Blue Blur looks and sounds like a girl but is a guy.I think it'll be fne.
Humor:
Crisis core had humor, their KH games are still all humor, same with Dragon Quest.It'll be fine.
If they do a remake it'll more than likely be exactly like the old one, or they will tweak parts of the story and tell it better.
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Thinking about this a little more...
Posted: userComment.createdDate by william~curtis
and I'm convinced that the only way to do it right is to avoid (AVOID AVOID) hyper-realism, which I realize is very counter to what SE has been doing with the series at large since... well, ever, to varying levels of success based on contemporary tech.
Still, the only way to make the game work is to NOT go in and replace the blocky models with contemporary, realistic ones, but instead make new character models in a stylized manner, perhaps based on a combination of Yoshitaka Amano's original artwork and the OG cartoony models. The technology is THERE to bring Amano's artwork to life! How badly did you want to see that in the 16bit days, yet it's been completely forgotten in the ongoing quest for more "realistic" qualities (what good is "realism" in a fantasy context, anyway? Give it up already!)
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For the most part this article hits the nail on the head
Posted: userComment.createdDate by Zero_Hikari
If Square tried to remake FFVII they'd bucher it. Final Fantasy VII was a 16 bit RPG in a 32 RPG's body. It had the humor and charm of the old FFs before it all got sucked away by the end of the Playstation 1 era. The game doesn't take itself too seriously, everytime there is something serious like Rufus threatening Heidegger that if he messes up one more time it might be the end of him it's followed by Heidegger hilariously running around kicking sailors off the dock in frustration. To remove that silliness and charm from FFVII would be a slight on what made it so enjoyable and popular in the first place.
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IF they do a remake...
Posted: userComment.createdDate by reznor151
...and it is a big ''if'', I really hope they keep all of this stuff. All of these quirks are what gave the game its charm. But seeing as many of Square's recent games are too serious, I can totally agree with Jeremy. Awesome article by the way. And people, I think you need to relax and read the article again before blowing a gasket, the writer never said that he hates all of these quirks, but instead that it is improbable that they will be left in if they do a remake. I'm convinced you would not have overreacted as much as this if he had insulted your mother. Man, FFVII, what a taboo subject.
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Are you out of your mind?
Posted: userComment.createdDate by Doctor_Yoyo
This article is an aberration!
The things you would take away are the ones that turned the game into such a masterpiece. The exact combination of funny, crazy, charming and down to business elevated this game into video game immortality or at least fist ballot Hall of Famer. you would trade all that for just a regular run of the mill RPG with gorgeous graphics and a pretentious FFVII brand claim?
Square has not dare to go for the remake because of the enormous expectations, but in case they ever decided to go for it I am glad Jeremy Parish is not a member of their staff.
Shame on you for this article.
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lawl
Posted: userComment.createdDate by evoll0024
Straight-Up Acts of Terrorism by the Protagonists being one of your things not being in a remake, and your reason giving make me laugh, for its a video game, and CS GO, and game you are advertising for, really.-
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it's controversial
Posted: 09/07/2012 by kingsharkboi
To see a group of good-willing heroes in a T-rated game to go shoot and slash at human guards left and right and blow up a reactor which would probably kill innocents nearby. People playing the game for the first time, even the kids who never did before, will feel uneasy if the scenes are directed like they were in 1997. Squareenix would have to change the context or reduce the directness of Avalanche's actions if this were to fly without complaints from non-gaming media. "terrorist" is a loaded word nowadays, and to have your heroes embody that identity at the beginning of the game before you even get the full picture would be a risky move. Not saying it's wrong or I don't like that part of the story personally, but I can't see it going over well if HD-ified.
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Do I want to go snowboarding? Off coarse!!
Posted: userComment.createdDate by ButterPeanut
I wouldn't mind the absence of some stuff like some of those mini-games, or a lot of the Honeybee Manor events (I felt like the humor was really off, kinda felt like "lol gay people? don't they make you UNCOMFORTABLE??"). But I hate the recharacterization of Clod as some mopey/badass dude when he had this really interesting background as this wannabe hero who somehow got lost along the way. He was a lot of things, like confused, dorky, angsty, angry, etc.; when he *was* this badass, it was because he'd basically had enough of the Bad Guys' shit and he'd spent enough time trying to figure out who he was/is.
By means of comparison, when I finished Dissidia I played as Cloud, and I think I remember him sometimes ending battles he won by saying something like, "Can't be excited about this one..." Why the hell not? Back when you were kicking ass around Midgar, you finished every fight, even with a bunch of loser 3rd-class SOLDIERs, with a fancy sword flourish and fist-pumping in the air. Loser.
... Also, one thing I guarantee we WOULD see in an FF7 remake: redesigns of the characters featuring lots more zippers and belts. Maybe Cid would even get upgraded into a pair of baggy capri pants? Sooooo creative. "What the #&!@? Sheila!?"
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Whoa
Posted: userComment.createdDate by DJSharpeCheddar
Dropping "cocktease" in the first sentence is a little surprising for 1up. Even more surprising to see Parish's name attached to it.
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eh?
Posted: userComment.createdDate by ladymulti
Eh? He doesn't cross dress to go into Honey Bee Inn? That's the Don's Manor he cross-dresses to go into. The Honey Bee Inn is a members only sex-hotel, heh. And you act like Squeenix is an American company or something. It's a Japansese one. Have you SEEN some of the games that HAVEN"T made it to the US as of yet? "Conception: Please have my Babies" title ALONE proves that ANYTHING goes in a J-RPG.
Cloud's cross-dressing is NOTHING to some of the characters that have come out in other games since FFVII's release. Besides, it's quite clear why he is doing it; and really, the success of the action depends on the player. Personally, I alwasy get poor Cloudy chosen by the Don, but the covert action of sneaking in to help a friend? Nothing wrong with it even if he was cross-dressing.
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FFVII
Posted: 09/07/2012 by william~curtis
is NOT a JRPG. It is a mainstream, household name, non-niche media mega-franchise that must appeal to gamers the world over, not just in Japan. Yes, it is a "Japanese RPG" but it may as well be Transformers 5 for all the censors it must go through to be released here.
Keep in mind: THEY MUST SELL MILLIONS OF COPIES or it is a waste of time for them. (Not that I think they can't sell millions of copies with the content of the game left alone, but it certainly matters not, what I think.)
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I'm glad the Honeybee Inn made it into an article
Posted: userComment.createdDate by ptrix4u2c
It's stuff like this which gives FFVII a lot of it's charm. Yeah sure, a lot of the sequences and mini games are annoying or awkward, but in a long game it's nice to have a break from all the seriousness every once and a while.
Once I realized that everything mentioned in this article wouldn't appear in the remake I've kind of gotten over the desire to play a remake. What I really want is the original game with backgrounds rerendered in higher resolution, the same, chunky character models and a new translation. Today's Square would never take the risk required to make a proper remake of this game and while that's sad I can continue to play the original as much as I please.
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I have a feeling...
Posted: userComment.createdDate by Chrystolis
If they ever made sequel that it'd be a huge commercial success, but every fan that's clamoring to no end for it to be made would probably hate it and claim they screwed it up. It's risky to mess with nostalgia, especially with a game that is the RPG cornerstone in such a gigantic number of people's gaming careers.
I personally hope they never remake it, for their sake and the sake of those who think they want it so badly, but I can't deny that it'd be an easy way for them to draw some income.
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Luke Skywalker is a terrorist
Posted: userComment.createdDate by ekolis
The protagonists commit an act of terrorism in Star Wars, but that's had HOW many remakes now?
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Nice one Bob
Posted: 09/07/2012 by amightysquall958
Haven't seen a Clerk's reference in a while (even if it wasn't Randal who made that point. Nit picked). Kudos.
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Don't change a thing...
Posted: userComment.createdDate by IncisionX
I'm a huge FF7 Fan, Literally have it anywhere possible.. I even have a Cloud Strife Pillow and a Zack wall canvas hand painted for me, but I don't want a remake that badly, due to the things you wrote about in your article,. here's why;
If they remove all the above, they kill off part of the charm about FF7, the crazyness and stupidity of some of the games moments are highlights for me growing up, I spent hours upon hours on this game delving into all the details and crude jokes... it makes the game so brilliant, it was made during a time when creativity was allowed and not looked down upon.
For me, if you remake FF7 - You have to leave every moment how it was.
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amen to this!
Posted: 09/07/2012 by aboboisdaman
FF7 is fine just the way it is. I love those minigames and highly disagree that they were boring. The snowboarding parts were the best parts of the whole damn game for me! I put a ridiculous amount of time into perfecting my skills. I loved that motorcycle minigame. The tower defense was a fun way to get items and a pleasent distraction from grinding or progressing through the plot. I could never get sick of FF7. It's not my favorite FF but it's definitely up there and could care less if a remake is ever made. It's fine just the way it is!
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Yes.
Posted: 09/07/2012 by MikkiSaturn
If they took all of this out, it would make the remake pointless. Maybe he's right, and that's what Square would do... that just means Square should never remake this game. But hopefully he's wrong...
Depending on what we mean by "remake" I don't even want a remake, actually. I like the squat blocky character models and the slightly off translation. All I would want, really, is the original game, possibly with the backgrounds/cutscenes re-rendered to look a little nicer, re-released so that it can be easily played on a modern machine. If they did that, I'd be okay. Anything more and I'd cry foul.
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They would do what JP is predicting
Posted: 09/07/2012 by kingsharkboi
They would either take out or put reductions/censors on at least half the things in the article. They would lighten the terrorist acts at best, they wouldn't have Cloud noticing a finger in full voice acting, and the Honeybee Manor, which even I thought was quirky back then, would push the boundaris of a T rating (cuz its the ESRB you know) and guarantee more than a few complaints from ignorant parents. We may not have a problem, we may be fine with that sequence. But in HD times where everything has to be voiced, motion captured, and shining with detail, it is bound to have a different if it were remade.
The most guaranteed edit would be the characterization of Cloud. Biggest problem I have with current FFVII criticism is the way people act under the assumption that Cloud was the mope he's become in the 21st century products. That never crossed my mind playing the original game. He was troubled, but it was a deep-rooted trouble and made sense in context. He cracked under the weight of the truth during Disc 3 or something I have no idea why SquareEnix has caricatured his personality as a whole in recent times....seeing him say "I just....don't know" in the middle of a fanfiction fight with Sephiroth during Kingdom Hearts 2 just makes me cringe.
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1 thing we won't see...
Posted: userComment.createdDate by WenchesAndAle
...a final fantasy VII remake. Let it go and move on people, please.
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Don't change a thing
Posted: userComment.createdDate by elite180360
Never really understood the hype of FFVII until that whole EGM magazine did a huge thing on the Advent children release or whatever, and it instantly intruged my interest. I should've played it by now especially with all the opportunities before me but I just haven't gotten around to it. A remake would do me some good.
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Give it a rest already.
Posted: userComment.createdDate by Iron_Saint
There will never be a Final Fantasy VII remake. Stop torturing yourselves.
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That is the point!
Posted: userComment.createdDate by Patryk.Nogaj
All these things, plus the shitty graphics and midi music, is what made FF7, FF7. These are some of the reasons why I've said that a remake would be a huge flop for the original fans. The game was played with some use of one's imagination.
Why are some of the spin-offs so hated (especially Advent Children)? 'Cause they took the fun out of it! (..amongst other things...)
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You've got to have a better vocabulary than this...
Posted: userComment.createdDate by Spidey74
Cocktease is not something that a journalist should be using in an article, even in one about video games. Same with balls to the wall. Yeah, we get it, you're saying you either physically or metaphorically want to fuck something and either someone (something) won't let you, or you are doing it very well. Yuck.
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audience
Posted: 09/07/2012 by Patryk.Nogaj
Ever consider the audience? What about the material? I find it plain stupid when I see "proper" journalists on CNN and such try to review or comment on movies like Borat or Zack and Miri make a Porno. There is no "proper" way to go over these. If they want to remain proper, they're better off not going over the stuff. Leave it to the internet guys.
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Whatever dude.
Posted: 09/07/2012 by william~curtis
FFVII has had my cock teased for a good 15 years now. Nice n teased. No better cockteasing, really. If it's the teasing you want, Square has your number, and it's VII. The number for teasin the ol cock, I mean.
Keep up the great writing! Those alienated female gamers have never really spent the money to earn a real place in the industry, right guys? I mean, they don't even want a new FFVII! How can you tease a cock that isn't there? You can't! Let's just stick to our all male protracted conversation about videogames teasing our cocks and leave those unteased, uncocked females out of it, can we please?
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Thank GOD
Posted: userComment.createdDate by william~curtis
I tried to play this game, but cross dressing? Good guy terrorism? SEX DUNGEON!? It was all too much.
Luckily Square has noticed that because of its morally depraved content the game just didn't sell, and has been very quick in coming out with this thankfully much improved version.-
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Haha
Posted: 09/10/2012 by william~curtis
OK so there WAS a reply by someone else in the 2nd postion, here. And that person "got it" in a humorous way. No longer!
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Republican?
Posted: userComment.createdDate by alienlobotomy
Wow, Jeremy Parish is really sounding like an evangelical republican if he is so uptight about so many things in this game. It is called a game for a reason, and these issues he has with it should be left in the game and not connected with real life issues past, or present.
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Hmm...
Posted: 09/09/2012 by sardinista
It sounds like maybe you don't understand much of anything the angle of the article.
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This is why I'm not for a remake
Posted: userComment.createdDate by awwnuts07
All the stuff that would have to be taken out would kill the charm of FFVII. I'd rather Square just make a sequel.
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I'd rather...
Posted: 09/07/2012 by San_Andreas
...they just made an all-new game. I love FFVII, but it was fine as-is and didn't need remakes or sequels.
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Leave it ALL
Posted: userComment.createdDate by Drummertist
They need to leave everything...even the weird stuff. The terrorist parts set the tone for the story: this ain't disney land. All the other wierd stuff is great! YES, I WOULD like to see a muscle guy pull a sticky, sweaty wig from his crotch and splotch it on top of Clouds head. It would be frikkin' hilarious.
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I love this
Posted: userComment.createdDate by HydraEternal
I just love everything about this article, you've said what I've been thinking.
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