The Movies Blog - The best new films and trailers -  The best new films and trailers

 

One year ago, pretty much to the day, I had a perplexing dream in which I was viewing Breaking Dawn: Part One at a midnight screening. After the usual boredom associated with watching three teenagers take turns to stare gooey-eyed at one another, coupled with the knowledge of the complete unsuitability of the product with the watcher, things took a demented turn as the onscreen characters began issuing C-sections with their teeth and falling in lusty love with newborns. But this wasn't a dream was it? This actually happened. Breaking Dawn - Part One actually, genuinely ended with He Of Forehead Fame eating a baby out of Miss Pale Faced Lip Biter, while Will Be Performing In Panto Soon stared longingly at a baby, imagining their future together.

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Openings matter. Which is why it's a shame that this countdown begins with such a redundant statement. Because openings don't really matter. Breaking Bad isn't any greater a television show because it has a sub-five second opening and Homeland isn't lessened by the decision to hire the local sixth form Media Studies class to shoot theirs, (“Oooh the President is upside down! It symbolises America being all confused and stuff!”). But a great opening credit sequence, like a great opening act, can put you in exactly the right mood for what's to follow. In much the same way that a badly written, self-referential opening paragraph can make you switch off your computer and go for a nice walk instead.


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The Master and There Will Be Blood director Paul Thomas Anderson can do a lot of things you can't, simply because he's Paul Thomas Anderson. For example, Mr. Anderson, or PTA for brevity, can make a film without dialogue for 30 minutes plus. He can polish awards for every single film he's made. PTA can be favourably compared to Martin Scorsese and Stanley Kubrick. He can ring up Radiohead's Jonny Greenwood and chat about composing. He can give Maya Rudolph a nice big sloppy smooch without fear of police intervention. He can also make a film that shoots to the top of the Best Picture list before a single frame is viewed. But is the hype justified?

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Back in 2007, Ben Affleck’s directorial debut, the revelatory ‘Gone Baby Gone’, was pulled from UK release schedules for six months because of its tragic parallels to the Madeline McCann case. Similarly, any viewing of ‘Argo’ - which opens on a provocative shot of a baying Iranian mob torching an American flag before storming the embassy gates - will inevitably be coloured by recent events in Cairo and Benghazi. For the sake of humanity, we can only pray that his mooted adaptation of Stephen King’s apocalyptic doorstop ‘The Stand’ is unburdened by such coincidences.



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Last night, between the hours of 10pm and 2am, Twitter couldn't find its shit with a shit-finding machine after the surprise announcement came through that, not only had Disney acquired Lucasfilm for £2.5bn but they were already setting a release date of 2015 for Star Wars: Episode VII. A million voices cried out at a rate of 5 nonsensical opinions per person, per minute. It was “childhood-raping time again”, it was “commercialism overload”, it was “proof of the Mayan conspiracy”. As astonishing as the news was, and after a little sit-down to let it sink in, we're here to tell you why we think every Star Wars fan should be excited as an Ewok at an Endor party at the prospect of this monumental news.



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