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Aug 10

Back To “Normal”

SO for the past 8 months this talent competition has been a featured part of my life. Because of contracts, I wasn’t aloud to tell anyone about it for months and months, however, that made it all the more exciting. I would tell my friends and co-workers that i was off to another wedding and secretly I’d be going back and forth from auditions. Yes in-between each phase, I would return to my “normal life” going to my day job, attending classes at BYU, but it was different; I always had this pending adventure resting in the forefront of my mind. I always had something that I was looking forward to and I was constantly aware that I was in the process of chasing my dream. I was so incredibly excited for this round in particular and I have been looking forward to it for months.

Well, I admit that the things that were said to me on live, national TV were extremely hurtful. I was devastated at the results and it was almost serial that something that had nearly consumed my life for so long was instantaneously gone. Yes it was painful, and a bit humiliating; however, I had to relearn where it was that I drew my strength. Was it from this faulty fake world of glitz and glam, big hair, make-up and celebrity judges, or was it from things that are real? Through heartfelt prayer I reminded myself that I am a daughter of God and that he was proud of me. After publicly being ripped apart, I left the theater and I was embraced by the people that love me. My family and friends had come quite a ways to see me and they were so proud of me. That’s what’s really important. These people know and love me for who I am and for the love I’ve given them.

As hard as it was, that night made me remember what is real, whats important and what truly does bring happiness. Yes the glamor was extremely fun, and I loved it, I’m not going to lie, but what brings a real and lasting joy is our relationships with God, and our love for his other children he has put in our lives. Its people; friends and family that fulfil us. All else, fame, popularity, beauty, is so fleeting. For me, I had all those things when I walked onto that stage to perform. I’m not going to lie, I looked pretty good, and I felt like a celebrity; however, all those things were immediately stolen from me the minute a judge opened his mouth. They were taken from me because….they aren’t real. My family, my love for other people and my belief in God’s love for me and his plan are things that no one can steal from me. I’ve had to realize that minus the external factors of playing the violin, being famous, or looking like a model…its enough to be me.

I still go through ups and downs, and I still slightly cringe when I replay certain vivid memories in my mind, however, I am fine. I will move on, and I will be made better through this experience because, I know what truly brings joy.

In all honestly, the whole experience was so much fun, and i met amazing people that i will keep in touch with for years to come. I learned a ton and I really did have a blast. (I’ll talk about it more when I am aloud to). I went back to work for the first time yesterday. I work as a counselor for troubled teenage girls at a residential treatment center. It was good to see my girls after a week of absence and they were all excited to see me. It was the first time in 8 months that I was at work without this pending adventure in the near future. Of course, I am not going to stop playing, and I will continue to chase my little dreams but for now, I am just normal Lindsey again and…that’s enough.


5 comments

  1. Jaen

    You are the best :)

  2. Liquifator

    Wow. That’s an amazing entry, and I couldn’t reply better than what Katherine said above. She’s got it exactly right, and so, it seems, do you.

    I’m so happy you’re different from other celebrities and famous people out there. It’s wonderful to see you turning to God for true happiness and not letting the glamour of the world get to you. Don’t change that!!

  3. xanderlane

    You’re a counselor? That’s cool, I never would’ve expected you to be a counselor. You seem to be going pretty far in life haha. Counseling is something I’ve always wanted to do.

  4. Katherine

    Oh my gosh…that is such a great blog entry…I’m not even joking…
    You are absolutely right about our relationship with God being the main reason for our joy…

    Happiness requires that things go your way and that circumstances are just right. Joy, on the other hand, is much deeper and can withstand the trials and sorrows – and that comes from God!

    Joy comes from the Lord who lives within us, not from what is happening around us.
    It can be really hard to not get caught up in worldly things that are happening around us sometimes, especially when things really get going for a person in their life, its definitely easy to get out of routine..but the biggest thing to remember is who you are. ( which is what u’ve done very well) You are a child of God and you’re living for him and not anyone else. You cannot control what the world does. But each day you can decide who you will live for.
    Second, look for ways to honor God in every situation you face. When you are about to make a decision ask yourself, what would Jesus do? Then deliberately make the decision that you believe He would make. Third, don’t forget the power of prayer. It’s a game changer that makes the difference in the Christian’s life. No, it’s not easy to be godly in an ungodly world. As Christians we are told to be in this world but not of this world. Jesus said that He will be with us always, even until the end of time. That means He is with us today in this modern world as well.

    You’ve done a great job on staying true to yourself and your faith, and not letting everything that’s going on for you get out of hand.

    Always remember that God is with you, even when things start to get crazy and you get stressed out, or so busy that you cant find a second to breathe.

    God bless Lindsey! I’ll always be praying for you! :-)

    OH and I am so proud of the way you and Devin seem to be doing well, I know you’re a smart girl :-)

    1. Liquifator

      So true. It’s so awesome to encounter other believers out there!

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