Ball Don't Lie - NBA

Ball Don't Lie

Mon Apr 12, 2010 11:00 am EDT

Video: Don't tell Kobe Bryant what he can't do

By Trey Kerby

There are a few hard and fast rules to consider when watching Kobe Bryant(notes) play basketball.

First, just assume anything is within the realm of possibility for Kobe when he's on the court. That way, when he does something unbelievable you don't go in to cardiac arrest. You should also probably know that nine out of 10 times, Kobe is taking the game's last shot. Of those nine shots, probably four of them are going in, even if they seem like a terrible look. Just be prepared.

And probably the most important, especially if you happen to be a broadcaster, never tell Kobe Bryant he can't do something because he'll make you look silly on national television. 

Sorry, Jeff Van Gundy. Apparently you forgot Kobe trained with Hakeem Olajuwon before this season and learned a whole bunch of post moves. As such, you violated the third rule, and therefore had to pay the consequences. There's a reason we have these made up rules — they're for your protection. 

I guess one way to deal with a nagging right finger injury is to add a left-handed hook shot in your 13th NBA season. Between that and his penchant for lefty buzzer beaters, eventually Kobe won't even need that right hand. Maybe he can donate it to the Gatorade Sports Science Institute for testing or cloning purposes.

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1832 Comments

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  1. BasketballFan88
    1. Posted by BasketballFan88 Mon Apr 12, 2010 11:20 am EDT

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    Nobody on the Lakers has the willpower to stand up to Kobe and say stop shooting. Kobe cost them the game last night he was woefully inefficient while his main man Robin went 9-13. Sometimes a hobbled batman needs to defer more to Robin otherwise the Joker'll get away.
    I mean people are saying Gasol never had success before the Lakers. But he took the Grizzlies to 50 wins and a playoff birth.
    Just think about that the team that traded Gasol for Kwame Brown the inept ownership and the unwillingness to develop of cohesive team with coaching stability. That team went to the playoffs with Gasol.
  2. S
    2. Posted by S Mon Apr 12, 2010 11:22 am EDT

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    Pass the ball KOBE
  3. Ol Leather Pumpkin aka azv321
    3. Posted by Ol Leather Pumpkin aka azv321 Mon Apr 12, 2010 11:31 am EDT

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    I like the John Locke/LOST-inspired headline.
  4. Elder
    4. Posted by Elder Mon Apr 12, 2010 11:44 am EDT

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    Pass the ball KOBE
  5. UNDERTAKER
    5. Posted by UNDERTAKER Mon Apr 12, 2010 11:48 am EDT

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    U can still learn more moves if he would just focus on his team!!!! GO KOBE!!!!!! Do the damn thang!!!!!!!!
  6. Andrew B
    6. Posted by Andrew B Mon Apr 12, 2010 11:51 am EDT

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    the cavs are gonna crush the lakers
  7. BarburyS
    7. Posted by BarburyS Mon Apr 12, 2010 11:52 am EDT

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    Who won that game???
  8. gregsamaniac
    8. Posted by gregsamaniac Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:01 pm EDT

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    i guess someone didnt tell the so called "mr. clutch" he couldnt make 2 free throws in crunch time?
  9. First L
    9. Posted by First L Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:01 pm EDT

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    lol at pumpkin
  10. Scotty Too Hotty
    10. Posted by Scotty Too Hotty Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:02 pm EDT

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    Kobe is good.
  11. gregsamaniac
    11. Posted by gregsamaniac Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:03 pm EDT

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    gasol was one of the top pfs in the league even before he went to lakers. he was right there with duncan(in his prime), kg(in his prime), and dirk.
  12. gnostic
    12. Posted by gnostic Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:05 pm EDT

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    i love kobe but man... wtf are you doing????? can you train more so we can win this year's championship again!!!
  13. andycandy2474
    13. Posted by andycandy2474 Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:09 pm EDT

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    The cavs wont make it to the lakers. i will admit Kobe needs to figure out his little funk because we need him to play good in the playoffs. And if i ever see Gasol take a last shot over Kobe again im done with basket ball for good. Kobe please get healthy we need you bro.
  14. Ryan
    14. Posted by Ryan Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:12 pm EDT

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    Yeah, well, he can't make 2 free throws to put the game on ice. Sucks for him.
  15. jahjahwarrior78
    15. Posted by jahjahwarrior78 Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:16 pm EDT

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    please greg, just because he missed a few throws means he's not clutch? Michael Jordan didn't make all his last second attempts to win games, so I guess by that 'logic' he's not clutch? Get that garbage outta here
  16. Reppin 4rm Big D to Jrzy
    16. Posted by Reppin 4rm Big D to Jrzy Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:20 pm EDT

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    maybe kobe should learn what a pass and assist and teammates are
  17. Walter E
    17. Posted by Walter E Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:31 pm EDT

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    Kobe,so now you remember you have unstoppable low post moves and can even use your left hand..Then why the hell shoot 18 foot jumpers with a broken hand for 30%?? Kobe Bryant,sometimes youre one STUPID OLD MAN...
  18. Robert
    18. Posted by Robert Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:31 pm EDT

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    kobe should train with John Stockon.
  19. Walter E
    19. Posted by Walter E Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:31 pm EDT

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    Kobe,so now you remember you have unstoppable low post moves and can even use your left hand..Then why the hell shoot 18 foot jumpers with a broken hand for 30%?? Kobe Bryant,sometimes youre one STUPID OLD MAN...
  20. NELSON M
    20. Posted by NELSON M Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:32 pm EDT

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    Pass the f&cking ball kobe!!! freakin ball hogger!!!
  21. huskernation
    21. Posted by huskernation Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:34 pm EDT

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    the reason why he did that is because he can..he is the best basketball player that ever walked the face of the planet earth.
  22. Jhovanie
    22. Posted by Jhovanie Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:35 pm EDT

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    Bunch of kobe haters! Hes a beast and all you guys know how to do is talk TRASH. Maybe you should pick up a ball and try do half of what he does every night. Since you guys know more about basketball than him.
  23. BK
    23. Posted by BK Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:35 pm EDT

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    If we replace Kobe with any of the top 5 Players (Lebron, Wade, Paul, Durant etc.) in the league, Lakers would be a better team. Kobe causes every players game to drop when they play with him. Can you think of 1 player whose game improved as a result of playing with Kobe? That's why Bynum wasn't in the Allstar game. Any top 5 player would make him a superstar. He's a great one on one player and closer, but very overrated.

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