The New Beef and Whiskey Point System!

I just read about the new Weight Watcher’s point system. I understand that this whole idea of counting points has some perverse appeal to the masses, but, me, I just don’t get it. I never count calories and I never count carbs and I certainly don’t count fat and I sure as hell don’t want to count points. To me, the notion of keeping score as you eat makes as much sense as dancing to architecture.

Especially not some bizarre point system dreamed up by those scientists over at the Weight Watchers Institute of Making Stuff Up. As far as I can tell, the old system was based on the fat is bad, fiber is good, calories are all that matter approach to dieting. Which is of course, a recipe for a miserable existence, and explains why I’m always reading somewhere or another about their abysmally high failure rates. And why everyone I know who has ever tried Weight Watchers, or any similar low fat diet, eventually fails. Nobody can stand to eat that way for very long. Because, despite what they claim to know, scientifically, about satiety, nothing satisfies like fat.

Now with this new system, I’m not sure what they have going on there. Apparently it’s not quite as low fat as before, but it sure ain’t low carb. Here I guess, is the gist of it, taken from their web site:

I mean, yeah, black beans, whole wheat pasta, tomatoes, olvies, low fat cheese, olive oil, and grapes are a much better lunch than a few pototo chips and a peanut butter n jelly sandwhich on low calorie white bread. I guess. If you say so. But not a lot better.

Me, I’d much rather just eat this:

and while I’m at it, drink this (Not every day of course):

Ok, here’s the Beef and Whiskey Point System!

Anyway, maybe there’s something to this whole points thing. I mean, millions of weight watchers can’t be completely wrong, can they? Soooooooo, I decided to invent the Beef and Whiskey diet point system. With no further ado, here it is:

Zero points

Animal fats and proteins (beef, pork, chicken, lamb, seafood, eggs, etc.)

Full fat dairy (cheese, cream, butter, etc.)

Low starch vegetables

Low sugar fruit

Spirits and wine, up to a reasonable amount per week

1000 points

Starchy vegetables

Sugary fruit

Spirits, beyond a reasonable amount per week

Beer

Your daily goal is to stay as close to possible to zero points on a daily basis. Unless you’re diabetic, your yearly goal is to stay below, I dunno, oh, let’s see, how about 20,000 points. Or maybe 50,000 points. Whatever. Your personal annual limit will pretty much depend on how much you like beer, and how often you go on cheating benders. The occasional multi thousand point day or week or two isn’t any thing to worry about, as long as you get yerself back to the daily zero point straight and narrow. If you have diabetes, you’re crazy if you ever go over zero points. Just don’t, mkay?

Of course, you could just skip this whole point counting nonsense and just avoid sugar and starch in all its forms. It won’t hurt my feelings one bit, really.