2. United States (smell my fingers)

Look at that mooky Frat Boys: your favorite high-fivin’ dick-punching morning-after moment taken over by the chicks. How castrating.

RE: handjobs (what this commercial is very unsubtly referencing) — raise your hand, college/high school/grade school boy, if you’ve gotten a tugjob from a woman as attractive as these models while wearing Axe/Lynx.

3. Latin America (sexual assault)

Raise your hand, college/high school/grade school boy, if a stranger-woman as hot as this stranger-woman has let you commit a felony and fondle her tits.

4. Latin America (blowjob)

Yep, a blowjob commercial.

You know the drill — raise your hand, college/high school/grade school boy if you’ve gotten a blowjob from a woman-stranger as hot as this woman-stranger while soaked in Axe mook spray.

5. The UK (an “interactive” blowjob)

if you don’t want to watch it all the way through to get to your interactive instructions, just start the video, click the progress bar, and then press the 5,7,3, and 8 keys, in that order. The effect is called “shortcut scrubbing.”

6. Latin America (jiggling breasts)

THIS is the most accurate ad representation of the Axe-Wearing Male Demo.

8. The UK

This ad, called “Brainy Girlfriend,” manages to be 360º sexist, insulting women and men and all of humanity.
And a shower gel is keeping him awake…?
BULLSHIT.

9. The UK (300 boobs bouncing in slow motion)

Axe (sometimes Lynx in the UK) says they’ve set an “official world record” by fitting 151 women and one man into one beach shower.

10. Brazil (Men Should Have ZERO women-they’d-like-to-fuck as friends)

In fact this Axe fragrance is called, “Ex-Friend.”
The Unilever brand posits that young men should just say ‘fuck female friends,’ and just fuck female friends.
The giant construction worker represents the boy’s suppressed id, I guess.
This spot would rake in the karma on reddit.

11. The Netherlands (you will fuck angels)

Not content with providing manboys with the power to fuck every hot woman on Earth, Axe claims that their smells will also cause angels to fall hard for you.

This stupid, unimaginative ad is a direct result of that cheesy bar pick-up line, you know which one.

12. Australia (banned ad)

This slow-mo oiled jigglefest ostensibly served as a primer for the Rugby World Cup back in 2011.
Australia’s Advertising Standards Bureau banned it for “objectifying women” (NO).
One complaint read:
“I believe that this ad has been grossly influenced by the pornography industry and the hidden hype surrounding girl-on-girl pornography.” Hidden hype?

13. Singapore (SCORE MORE)

THE GAY MAN was dressed in PINK so’s you wouldn’t miss him.
Jesus.

14. Kenya (“Don’t Axe Me About Axe”)

The Kenyan office of Axe (the smell of desperation is worldwide) staged a charming fake protest outside of their business.

Note the orgasm sounds at the beginning of the video.

16. United States (big disembodied boobs)

The spot, set in a bleak office complex features a bodiless head of male and a headless, legless set of tits — each supposedly representing what each sex recognizes first about the other.

Nothing sexist — or, incorrect — about that.

18. New ad, United States (Rape Culture is funny)

Before it’s too late?

For what? Worldwide mass rape?

NO, silly, it’s a global warming joke.

Silly FemiNazi.