WWE NXT TV report

May 30, 2013
LIVE! From Full Sail University

by Emerson “To kill the hour before Bryan starts taking calls for After Dark...I am watching NXT” Witner

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Here's what you need to know about NXT:

-They have a champion, it's Big E. Langston, who defeated Seth Rollins for the title on January 10. The show was taped after The Shield debuted at Survivor Series, but before Big debuted on Raw. Big originally refused to go to Raw when Vickie Guerrero offered him a spot, but did go to Raw once AJ lost power. Go figure.

-They also have Tag Team Champions, The Wyatt Family (Erick Rowan and Luke Harper, managed by Bray Wyatt). They captured the titles on May 9, defeating Bo Dallas and Adrian Neville

-Dusty Rhodes is the Authority Figure, but his job title seems to change from week to week.

-The insanely popular Paige, Emma and the love of my life, Sasha Banks were the only three NXT Diva's until February 7 when ring announcer Summer Rae (not Summer Rain) attacked Paige.

-Rae, now referred to as the First Lady of NXT, shelved Paige with a debilitating shoulder injury. Paige recovered and is now trying to whoop Rae like a red-headed step child. Rae, instead of fighting, is too busy Fandango-ing

-The Shield still make random appearances on the show, causing chaos.

-Bo Dallas is starting a heel turn.

And that's everything you need to know about NXT. (Now we know!) (And knowing is half the battle) (G.I. Joe!)

-The announce team this week is back to Tom Phillips and the Assistant To The Raw Managing Supervisor/Assistant Raw Managing Supervisor The Mad Ox, Brad Maddox.

1.) NXT Tag Team Champions The Wyatt Family defeated Sawyer Fulton & Travis Tyler. It's an old fashion job match to kick off the show this week, featuring the World Tag Team Champions Of The World Of Florida and newest call ups to Raw. No Bray Wyatt at ringside this week. Fulton has a tattoo of a necklace around his neck. That's interesting. Tyler may be CJ Parker, who is best remembered as Pamela Anderson from Baywatch, but in the NXT Universe, it was just some guy who never won. Harper let Tyler tag out to Fulton, so the champs just destroyed the man, with Harper pinning him after a discus clothesline.

-Brodus Clay is doing the Don't Try This At Home video, talking about all the moves he does are safe. Remember when he was taken off TV last year because he was hurting people?

-Stephanie McMahon makes an appearance announcing the formation of the NXT Woman's Championship. I guess they aren't Diva's. Stephanie said the tournament starts next week and threatened everyone with a good luck wish.

2.) Emma defeated Audrey Marie. Audrey Marie, the one time stalker of the love of my life Sasha Banks until WWE decided they wanted the storyline for Raw and quickly fired Audrey. I think the Woman’s Title  Tournament should be a 16-Diva Quadruple Elimination Tournament that is impossible to keep track of and never actually ends until suddenly we have a final match in 10 or 11 months. Yes, like the WrestleCrap Radio Co-Host For A Day Contest from 2007. Emma slapped on the Dil-Emma, a punny name for a Tarantula. It looked a lot sexier than when Tajiri used to do it. Emma with a reverse surfboard for the submission, which apparently is called The Emma Lock.

-To the back where Renee Young is with Scott Dawson and Garrett Dylan when who should appear, but The French Stallion! Yes, from Lance Storm's World Of Hurt. Stallion told them to stop talking and let's go make some money!

4.) Scott Dawson & Garrett Dylan (w/Sylvester Lefort) defeated Brandon Traven & Jake Carter. The man they call Vader's son now looks like The Miz. Sylvester is the former Stallion. Dylan and Dawson seem to be a tag team of people both trying to be Trevor Murdoch. One drinks Bar B Que sauce. Apparently Sylvester discovered these two men at a carnival. So he doesn't watch NXT either, since Dylan appears semi regularly as a jobber. Dawson was named “Most likely to steal your girl”. If you are going to steal Lucky Cannon's gimmick, at least steal his robe too. Yes, this match is so exciting that I dream of the days of Lucky Cannon (w/robe) and Yoshi Tatsu fighting over who will steal Maryse from Ted DiBiase. Traven gets the hot tag, much to the enjoyment of one person. D & D have a really stupid finisher, where one gives their opponent a spine buster and the other comes off the middle rope with a sitting double ax handle. And you thought Fandango is going to have a messed up back.

5.) NXT Champion Big E. Langston pinned Derrick Bateman in a Loser Leaves WWE Match. Now WWE is just mocking me. Bateman cut off the fro, so it's not hard to figure out who won our Best White Guy Afro contest. Derrick looks so weird without the afro, that's all I can think. Bateman got the early start with a flying rigamarole and punches to the head. Big quickly won with the Big Ending. I would like to point out that rigamarole is a word. Anyhoo, Bateman was sent packing.

-Big E joins the announce team for the main event.

6.) Bo Dallas won the 18-Man Battle Royal to become the #1 Contender to the NXT Title. The only people to get entrances were Corey Graves, Bray Wyatt, Kassius Ohno, Adrian Neville, Mason Ryan and Dallas. I watch this show every week and I couldn't tell you half the guys in this match. Yoshi Tatsu and Conor O'Brien are also in the ring. Sami Zayn is hidden in there. Sakamoto was the first one thrown out, followed by Briley Pierce and Curt Hawkins. Sakamoto and Pierce were promptly fired. Alexander Rusev was next out. All four men were tossed by Mason. Aaron Corbin, Knuckles Madson, Yoshi Tatsu, Aiden English, Sami Zayn and two guys whose names I missed were all thrown by Ryan. Ryan eliminated 11 people in a row....but Neville was the one to toss Ryan! Ryan picked him up on his shoulder, ran to the ropes and Neville flipped him over and saved himself. Very quickly we are down to 6. Conor kicked Bray in the face and Bray fell to the outside, but not eliminated. Conor, Corey and Ohno are quickly dumped. This whole match was under Titanic Rules, with everyone jumping. Neville tossed Bray, so it was down to the former tag team champions for 7 days. The whole finish saw Neville try to dump Bo, got him on the apron. Bo pulled him over and Neville managed to not hit the floor. One foot did, in a total Shawn Michaels moment. The finish saw Neville save himself time and again, go for The Red Arrow, but Dallas got his knees up and then flip Neville over the top for the win.

-Bo did nothing to really put over the heel turn he was building towards a few weeks back. That is it for this week. Coming up very soon: Bo Dallas will challenge for the NXT Championship! Next week we start the 41-Diva Quintuple Elimination Tournament for the Woman's Title!

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